Sadness when thinking of tulpa.

[Nekomata]

Hello. I recently have been very busy so I have had difficulty in finding time to talk to my tulpa. I feel like I have failed her by forgetting to say good night, good morning and talking to her regularly. I have been trying to narrate when I had energy to spare but I found it really difficult. I want to apologize to her but I just don't know how. I have always made sure to never be in a position where apologies are necessary so I have no idea what to do.

[Guest Anonymous]

Well, that's the whole thing with tulpas. They become a large part of your life, and most people don't seem to understand that there isn't any 'busy' anymore, with all due respect. You make a tulpa, you allow for them to plunge into your life, memories, etc.... they're the closest being there could be to you, ever. You need to make efforts with your tulpa, and as blunt as it may sound, try to forget about 'being busy', this is a very important commitment that requires a lot of attention, you can do this two ways, the first way which is talking to your tulpa on and off will result in a tulpa that might be reserved to the wonderland, feels weak at times, doesn't express much, or the other way which is, say, setting up a proper time schedule, forcing yourself to talk, etc... do you think that you'll be able not to talk to someone whose whole existence will revolve around yours, at some point?

[Nekomata]

Thank you. I needed you to be blunt. I think that was my problem. I would be thinking about pointless things that had already happened rather than spending time with my tulpa. Thanks again, I needed you to be blunt.

[Elvode]

I like to include my tulpa in whatever I am doing, if my mind is busy with lots of thouths I will discuss them with him, if I am busy with school or work I discuss it with my tulpa.

I don't really get it why you need tulpa time when your tulpa are with you, when I'm in bed every night we talk about things on my mind or discuss pointless things.

[Procron X]

Opal: If you're going to apologize, then you need to not do it again. That's how that works.

 

Talor: Have you considered wearing something to remind yourself to narrate? A wristband? A ring?

 

Zenith: It's okay to make mistakes. I'm sure they will be understanding! Tulpas are good at that sort of thing.

[Linkzelda]

Maybe the mindset of restricting yourself from apologizing when it seems to be an act of good faith, or necessary, is holding you back. Maybe the upbringing you had, and how you socialize with others has made you convinced that apologies could be deemed as some form of weakness. That concern could be developed from all sorts of things, but if you foster that mentality when trying to engage with them, someone within your private, subjective experience that you’re trying your best to treat as sentient, and what have you, then yes, sadness may accumulate; maybe nihilistic ways of thinking if the meaning behind said experiences are criticized as potential distractions from a greater problem that we’re too demystified to figure out.

 

Maybe because being predisposed into not acknowledging that there was some fault involved prevents you from opening up to them, and thus you undermine whatever competencies you may have when it comes to empathy, comradery, and other gregarious tendencies with anyone. And maybe an ambition to try and wrap everything all at once in a short period of time, and not supplementing those transient thoughts to get through the day with some vision of the long term convinces you that their existence is validated through whatever work ethic you apply towards forcing.

 

And what about their perspective? What if they have those implicit qualities of being able to rationalize your current disposition and situation, and how melancholy you may be feeling? What if they have a different way of thinking of overcoming transient thoughts of doubt of the future with ones of optimism where the mistakes and faults can be heuristics for figuring out how to assess yourself and them day-to-day?

 

Maybe you’re trying to find ways that you feel would be beneficial for your journey, and making them an industrialized process in your mind to the point where you just exist with them vs. trying to live with them. In other words, trying to sustain those gestures people may glance over and undermine (e.g. saying good night/good morning), and potentially over-complicating it as failure to do those day-to-day expressions is probably what is leading to questing begging for you.

 

It makes you wonder that if you feel your work ethic, energy to do day-to-day things, and creativity and flexibility to integrate them into your life is affecting whatever values you place on their existence, what does this say about you?

[Bambi]

Well, I think "tulpa time" has the potential to get you faster results than just passive forcing (and, just so everyone knows, I'm not trying to call Elvode out or anything. What she just said is more or less what I do myself), but I wouldn't say it's strictly necessary. Talor's got a good idea for you: try to wear something that will remind you of your tulpa, and when you're reminded talk to her regularly with whatever you're doing. Eventually, it'll become second-nature to you. :)

[Nekomata]

Thank you all for the advice, I'll take it to heart.