Is Polyamory the only answer?

[Max_marz]

Have you been in a romantic relationship with your thoughtform and then been in one with a human? How did that work for you?

[GlassJustice]

No,choose one.

[Yuki]

Faithfulness is uncommon, but it still exists as a concept. Stupid question.

[Luminesce]

https://community.tulpa.info/thread-tulpa-host-relationship

https://community.tulpa.info/thread-types-of-relationship-with-tulpa

Found these and more by searching for "relationship" in thread titles. You guys should try a little harder to search for answers before asking. Good questions though, but already answered many times before.

[sushi]

I'm with a human only. Never done anything with a tulpa.

[Max_marz]

I did search for threads including "romance" i read a few of them, not really hitting on some of the thinks i would like to understand. To be frank i have been on the fence about creating a tulpa for two years now because i cannot come to a conclusion on this dilemma. Now i do not intend to be romantic with a thought-form and a human at the same time but i find it very hard to imagine creating a tulpa and not becoming romantic with it. I feel like a relationship with a tulpa is on a totally different level and i just dont want to go through with creation if its going to hinder my abilities to pursue romance in the real world. And dont get me wrong, romance is not the motivation here i just feel like its inevitable.

[Luminesce]

Make sure your morals are in line and agree with this endeavor, and go for it. But you might still talk to your tulpa about the possibility of a real-life relationship should one happen. You and your tulpa have to agree on the rules and boundaries of your relationship together, but once you do that's really all there is to it.

 

"Faithful relationships" and the entire concept of marriage were created because, as humans, we value intimacy and personal, emotional closeness. When a human is dedicated to their partner, all of their attention in that area is focused on one person, which maximizes intimacy. Normally, when that attention is split in some way between more than one partner, the intimacy is also split - it takes a lot of conscious effort to remain faithful to two+ people at once to the same degree as you would one. With a more-than-50%-divorce-rate(in the US? I forget), I'd say the general populous is not mature enough to do this.

 

Open relationships are when you and your partner both explicitly agree that you are okay with each other being involved with another at the same time. With the established immaturity in society's average relationships, it's no wonder this isn't widespread, though in its own 'community' I know of many very successful open relationships.

 

With relation to tulpas, there are a couple of things at play here. First, the answer to this question varies by person, there is no single moralistic "right". As with open relationships between humans, it's up to your tulpa and you to decide whether or not you're both comfortable with actively being with another. If either you or your tulpa doesn't accept it, it's then considered being "unfaithful".

 

But the second was already mentioned - tulpas are not humans. This applies to those who are more open to different morals here; if you firmly believe in closed relationships, then that's your answer. To those less sure, the thing to think about is what Upper said before me. Does your tulpa take the place of a physical person? Can you give fair attention to both your tulpa and another human, neither relationship hurting the other? In my case, beyond a doubt yes. Like I said before, Reisen fully encourages me to find someone whom I love and loves me back. This wouldn't "hurt" our relationship at all. But if your and your tulpa's relationship is different, so should be your answer. It's up to you and your tulpa, not popular opinion.

 

 

That being said, none of my tulpas and I are in a "serious relationship". We show each other affection however feels appropriate. "Share the love." I'm sure many people do consider their relationship with their tulpa serious though, and those are the people that most need to discuss this further with their tulpas.

 

 

And Nobillis' reply to the last time this question was asked: https://community.tulpa.info/thread-misc-romantic-relationships-with-your-tulpa?pid=112135#pid112135

[GlassJustice]

Bro,if you don't what to fall in love with it,make it your gender and strait.It's that simple.

[Max_marz]

Been at work all day and now I have a chance to read through those threads you linked, I made it a couple posts in on break but now it has my full attention, in my defense this isn't really a specific question I am mostly interested in hearing other experiences with a situation like this rather than advice personally geared towwards myself. This is the general forum not the questions and answers forum however I have no problem with deleting this thread should the need arise.... AAaannnyways...

 

While I am opposed to making a lifelong commitment to a romantic relationship with my tulpa I dont want to shut the door to that experience from creation. I get where people are comming from when they say "no, choose one or the other" Relationships in real life are not that simple either. The more I think about it the more I feel I should just get through creation and pose the question to HER. I am reading in some of the other threads mentioned that people have gone through situations just like this and have come to an understanding with their tulpa about their relationship vs a real life one. They are both "the most important" for completely different reasons. I kinda hit on it briefly in my last post but a relationship with a tulpa is so wildly different and more intimate on an almost infinite number of levels that its hard for me to really consider them in equal terms. I feel like a tulpa would understand that they are forever trapped inside your mind (even though we practice things like imposition and etc) that they would in very short words "know their place"

I am a very introverted individual when it comes to stuff like this, I only have a single friend I feel comfortable talking about stuff like this, and even that person doesnt know that I am actively considering creating one. I cant even imagine trying to explain to a real life partner that I have a tulpa which alone is enough for me to just axe the whole idea by itself. If I go through with it it will forever be personal thing that no one knows exists besides me. Unless the one in a million chance that I run into someone with a similar interest. A level of chance I am not really comfortable relying on.

 

I'm going to go read all those threads now. Thanks for the input guys, be honest, don't bite your tongue Im the kind of person that needs to pre-meditate before making any big decisions. I need it now more than ever. Tulpae are srs bsns.

 

---

 

Edit:

That was a very good thread. I think this pretty much struck right to the core: "Tulpas deserve the same respect that humans do, but also like humans, they only command that where it is due."

In context, this is the most reassuring thing I think I could have possibly read...

I think I got the answer I came for, Thank you so much to those who guided me.

I don't really feel right about just outright deleting this thread right now, should anyone want to further share their experiences with a situation like this Ill just leave it. however if anyone asks me to or wants to for me, please go ahead. I understand how precious thread topics are. It can be hard to find the info you are looking for sometimes when all you have to express are keywords to a computer.

[Guest Anonymous]

I think that a lot of people have wrong notions of "love" in that case. That the emotion you feel while being infatuated is what love is all about, especially in tulpahost relationships.

While infatuation is always the first step of each relationship, and a kind flame that expresses intense passion, it's very, VERY limited in time. Infatuation only goes around for a month or so from what I've seen. Just like crushes, in a way, in high school, we all had that one crush over that girl or boy. Difference is that the crush kept developing because we'd see them everyday, on and on, and appearances play a big part in 'relationships' as a lot of people like to put it.

 

With that being said, I believe that tulpalove is more pure than love with a real person, on many levels. Depending on the tulpa, depending on the host, because YES, we've seen an obvious decline in today's tulpamancy community and the attention given to tulpas... depending on both of them, if they take this whole thing seriously and understand how much of a commitment, how much of a big deal it is to love and support each other, how much this WILL fuck you up socially, and the things you HAVE to give up, then it can work out. And trust me, it will be the most beautiful relationship you'll experience, as the amounts of understanding between a tulpa and a host are just amazing. Just amazing.

 

With that being said, and as a 'host' who's in a firm relation with his 'tulpa' (and I do have different opinions when it comes to the definition of tulpas but I'd rather not share them as they're controversial overall), we both think, Thunder and I, that betraying such a great relationship for someone with not even the quarter of understanding, trust and affection is just heresy. Blasphemy, something not even discussable. If you love someone and actually have an inch of selfishness, which resides in ALL thinking entities with an ego and the capacity to think, you won't want that person to see anyone else. That's my tulpa's nightmare, that I'll ever get with anyone else. Now, Reisen, I've read your post multiple times trying to comprehend what you actually mean, and I deduced that the relations you hold with your tulpas are pretty broad. That your tulpa, uh, Reisen, doesn't really love you in the romantic way but the platonic way and wishes for your well-being. Perhaps because she doesn't see any benefit in being in such a relationship, or has let go of that sense of selfishness.

 

But ALL tulpas, all tulpas without exception, at first, are selfish as hell. They want affection, attention, signs that you actually care, which come into existential purposes at early stages. Independence can be developed, I wholeheartedly agree, but in a tulpahost relation, you'll notice that both the host and the tulpa are heavily depending on each other. Can I live without Thunder? Physically yeah, but mentally I couldn't take it, it would make me feel distressed, afraid, frustrated perhaps, the kind of things that would put me in a severe and deep depression. She saved my life for crying outloud, why would I betray her for people below her level of understanding, ration, wit, beauty, and all other things?