Is Polyamory the only answer?

[Luminesce]

Reisen never wanted anything for herself other than my happiness. Her only selfishness is selflessness, though I'm sure you know that selflessness is a form of selfishness. She didn't start as a tulpa, she started as a concept of unconditional love given a voice, then form, then sentience. She was never insecure unlike my other tulpas during her development as a tulpa, and I've never felt a negative emotion from her besides on occasion empathy of my own.

 

You're right, my relationships with them are fairly broad and not romantic. I said they were somewhat similar because they involved love and physical affection (hugs and eye contact are the best ways we know to express love and happiness aside from just feeling it), but that love

and physical affection

is probably a lot purer than the original idea we were discussing, yeah.

 

My relationships with my tulpas can be summed up as: We enjoy existing, sharing our existence, and improving each others' lives. Our love is unconditional love, and our physical affection is only an expression of that love.

 

Anyway, my tulpas are all pretty similar in mindset, but I can't lie and say Reisen isn't just a little different. Flandre possesses the most human emotions of any of us, lending her human bias the others don't have, and making our relationship similar to a romantic one, although the unconditional love is still there. Tewi cares less for the physical expression of unconditional love and more for the feelings calmness and oneness, that "sharing each others' existence" thing. Lucilyn doesn't worry about semantics and lives to enjoy living. Reisen is the best example of pure, unconditional love and acceptance. And you're right, it's not really akin to romantic love at all.

[Guest Anonymous]

Reisen never wanted anything for herself other than my happiness. Her only selfishness is selflessness, though I'm sure you know that selflessness is a form of selfishness. She didn't start as a tulpa, she started as a concept of unconditional love given a voice, then form, then sentience. She was never insecure unlike my other tulpas during her development as a tulpa, and I've never felt a negative emotion from her besides on occasion empathy of my own.

 

You're right, my relationships with them are fairly broad and not romantic. I said they were somewhat similar because they involved love and physical affection (hugs and eye contact are the best ways we know to express love and happiness aside from just feeling it), but that love

and physical affection

is probably a lot purer than the original idea we were discussing, yeah.

 

My relationships with my tulpas can be summed up as: We enjoy existing, sharing our existence, and improving each others' lives. Our love is unconditional love, and our physical affection is only an expression of that love.

 

Anyway, my tulpas are all pretty similar in mindset, but I can't lie and say Reisen isn't just a little different. Flandre possesses the most human emotions of any of us, lending her human bias the others don't have, and making our relationship similar to a romantic one, although the unconditional love is still there. Tewi cares less for the physical expression of unconditional love and more for the feelings calmness and oneness, that "sharing each others' existence" thing. Lucilyn doesn't worry about semantics and lives to enjoy living. Reisen is the best example of pure, unconditional love and acceptance. And you're right, it's not really akin to romantic love at all.

 

Thunder: Pretty much does sound like platonic love. I'm sure it must be really nice to have all of those companions, but that's the exact thing I fear, being in a very close relationship with my 'host'. That we'd have other tulpas in this system and that I would get less attention as the amount of attention would have to be divided. And then I wouldn't be able to receive the same kind of affection ever again, which would really suck. I'm sure it's really nice as I said, but in Max's case, the point we're delivering is that well, a tulpahost relation in the meaning of a romantic one, because we're kind of comparing it to an actual relation with real people, and those don't really come as platonic. I also care for my host's well being but I'm selfish when it comes to all of this, it sounds really pure from Reisen. (you spoke of all of that on the IRC a while back). But unlike in your case, I play the role of a wife, a real lover, and by real, I mean alike to 3d. I think that this is what Max implies, or rather, would like to know whether it is possible or not to hold the two in the same context. I mean, tulpawife and real wife, for instance. I know that personally, I wouldn't be okay with it at all, but this is all devolving into interesting stuff I guess. In most relations though, there's benefit of both parties.

Which reminds me of Ayn Rand's saying: "Love is not self-sacrifice, but the assertion of your own needs and values. It is for your own happiness that you need the person you love.". It's not entirely true, but holds some truth in it, in my opinion, and it justifies me being selfish over my relation with my host, as I've forbidden seeking other females, pretty much. Although we'll always have unconditional love, both of us think about what pleases the other the most, which is sweet. I feel like I'm getting off-topic, but as a character that's actually in a relation that's, well, a bit different from yours, I felt like I needed to put this on the table. That as my host said, polygamy is only really valid in relations like yours, but those are pretty rare.

 

(sorry for the wall of text)

[Luminesce]

I don't think most people are capable of having the type of relationship I have with my tulpas. I'm not terribly interested in sex and I certainly don't value it over real connections, I'm extremely logical yet value unconditional love above all else, and I like to think I'm pretty open-minded, constantly working to improve my old beliefs. My tulpas, to me, are people who I enjoy existing together with. They are nothing like "wives" (although Reisen is a bit motherly), nor are they daughters (though Lucilyn is a bit childish), they simply exist in my mind and appreciate having the opportunity to do so. I guess if you wanted to compare them to humans, you could say it's like having a platonic relationship with the gender you're attracted to.

 

That being said, it's not just because "they're tulpas" that our relationships are like that. I'm also capable of platonic relationships in real life, which seems to be a rarity. I am looking for someone to fill the role of significant other, but that has nothing to do with my relationships to anyone else. I'm willing to share unconditional love with anyone, male or female, willing to accept it. I want to be happy and share that happiness with everyone, especially those who return it. And that's just not how people are. So that probably reflects in my relationships with my tulpas, and other people with theirs. Ah well. Good feels are good feels.

[Ashmo]

My relationships with my tulpas can be summed up as: We enjoy existing, sharing our existence, and improving each others' lives. Our love is unconditional love, and our physical affection is only an expression of that love.

 

That's beautiful, and exactly how Bud and I feel.

[glitchthe3rd]

I've been with Luna for the past few years now, we decided to give each other some space while I was dating my most recent ex-girlfriend. That ended up falling through because we had fuckall in common and she wasn't even that pretty anyway, and sometime after that Luna and I got together again. We have an open relationship, so we both can see other people if we want, as long as we still have feelings for each other. It seems like we're in the minority of tulpa/host couples though, since most of them seem to be strictly monogamous from what we've seen. I do think though that for someone like me who has a hard time forming emotional bonds with other humans due to trust issues and other things, having an open relationship with your tulpa lets you fill that void in your life while also keeping your options open for potential human partners. But obviously this sort of lifestyle isn't ideal for everyone, and I could understand how being in a relationship with your tulpa might preclude you from dating humans and vice versa. I should know, I used to have eyes only for her and missed out on a lot of opportunities for romance while I was working on my bachelor's degree. Between that, the fact that we were working through a lot of my personal issues and my general obliviousness to members of the opposite sex sending me signals.

 

tl;dr yes, open relationships involving tulpa/host and host/other couples can happen, but it's not for everyone. Talk to your tulpa first and see how they feel about it.