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Hello. I am completely new here and very confused and scared. I have had imaginary friends since I was three, my first extremely visual one being when I was 5. He never left me, though, and became jealous of the others as they developed. I have three that really stick around now (I'm 24), and developed them as I encountered problems in life. I wrote them into a series of books called Saga for Pirantina, and now am making them into a webtoon, because I was so frustrated that there are multiple people/beings talking to me as if they're real people living inside my mind. I thought I was just intensely creative, and that this was a curse and I was insane. I had never heard of a 'tulpa' until several minutes ago, and it described EXACTLY what's going on with me. I am going through some sort of emotional revelation right now, it's extremely intense. Yaitolan is here with me, he agrees it's interesting. I don't know what to think. I have three main 'tulpas', I suppose. I'll attach images, since I actually can. Yaitolan likes posing for some of them. First, there's Yaitolan. He came to me in seventh grade, and we've grown increasingly attached, to the point that he's around all the time unless I need personal space, and helps me think through things. He can shift form from being a 21-foot tall humanoid alien with no mouth to a 6'3" human male, structurally similar but his hair is only neck-length and curly. After I broke up with my first ever boyfriend after college, Yaitolan became romantically inclined towards me, and helped me discover my more sexual side, as well as my confidence. He just came in and initiated it, I didn't really ask him to. It was bizarre. My first ever 'tulpa' was (and is) a small, blue dragon named Quickmick. He can run at the speed of light, and appears in the first chapter of the Saga for Pirantina webtoon. He's been my best friend since we were 5, and became increasingly jealous as Yaitolan replaced him... which hurt even more, because they are best friends on Pirantina. I still feel guilty about it, and Yaitolan and Quickmick dislike being around me at the same time, since they get angry at each other. We're still figuring out how to deal with it. My third 'tulpa' is kind of scary. On Pirantina, he was Yaitolan's predecessor, and hates the living hell out of me because I created him and his world to be a story when he actually had to experience it and the pain. His name is Rintentide. He's like Yaitolan's species, but 35 feet tall, black as night, with gleaming, sky-blue eyes. All majji have claws, no mouth, no genitals, etc, but his claws are especially long, and he's murdered many people. He is the 'devil' over my shoulder. I never knew how to handle my anger and frustration, and suddenly he magically appeared in my stories, and eventually began interacting with me. It was NOT pleasant at first, but I wrote him a happy ending, and he eventually warmed to me. His presence can still be unnerving, but he's calmed down a lot and gone back to raising orphans in the desert and fighting the gods of Pirantina, etc. The other 'tulpas' I interact with are several other majji (Spethu, Khataru, Eliya, Unglada, Queen Wayru, Lord Omi, Lord Blu, King Hilnej, Omiun, Kaijar, more....) two elves, Areth and Karraganst (though Karra not as much as Areth, since I wrote the death of his wife and he found out it was me in book seven), an ancient, rough, cybrog-dragon named General Hectar, a god that takes on the form of a psychopathic, clown-like mad-hatter cat (Ditto), and several other characters that occasionally drift through my head. I'm scared, because people on here mention one, two, maybe three tulpas at most, but I have an entire WORLD in my head that I can teleport myself to, and the people in it visit me or act on their own. It's been like this literally all my life. I thought it was strange that it never disappeared when I was a teenager, then a young adult in college, and now, at the age of 24, I feel like a crazy person, and it's driving me nuts, and hurting Yaitolan because he had no idea what to do, and Quickmick has gone silent on the matter. I feel like the only thing I can do is write the books, share them, do the audiobooks, webtoons, art, etc... I don't know how or why there's literally an entire dimension stuck in my head, does anyone else have this? I never even tried to make them up, they just came along on their own and never really feel inclined to leave. It makes me feel intensily lonely, because I can hear them, they sit around my room, I know their sense of humor, what irritates them, they'll goof off or sit in the car to go on adventures with me, but I'll never really get to see them, interact with them, talk to them. For reference, here's the link to the Webtoon. I've only just started it thanks to a rabid 90k strong TikTok fanbase... otherwise it's just the book series. https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/saga-for-pirantina/list?title_no=380059 There's a bunch of Pirantina art on my Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mirandathehybrid/ And the illustrations below are Yaitolan (light blue, he and I are chilling together under the night sky in the last picture), Rintentide (tall and black, towering over Yaitolan on the ground), Queen Wayru and King Hilnej (the two in the flowers hugging. They're Yaitolan's parents), Khataru (Yaitolan's little brother, white face with black hair), The Hybrid, which is me whenever I go to Pirantina (the lonely, white creature sitting on the ledge looking into void), Karaka-nor/Illustionist (ghost guy with the glowing eye)... I have so many more, but I don't want to spam this place with pictures. I just need to know if these are tulpas, if I am sort of crazy, natural tulpa-summoner, or if I'm literally just bat-sh*t insane with a wild, uncontrollable creativity. If it helps, I'm a girl and my IQ measured something between 135-150 in high school. I'm sure I've lost quite a few of those IQ points from stress... lol. I'm an illustrator and art teacher by profession, and used to design aircraft for fun.
hey there dose anybody else seem to have 2 diffrent functioning minds eyes? the one i mainly use (eye1) feels a bit like conjouring a memory, but the mental effort to do it is huge! i also strugled with the belif i was only pretending to see images with eye1. but eye2 is untamable! i see a range of rotating faces (only outlines though) and blobs of grey wash over black background. but the faces are easy to see and visualise. the mental effort is minimal. so how do i upgrade eye2 so i dont stop tulpaforcing after 15 minutes?