[Misc] Romance with Tulpa
How soon is too soon if you love your Tulpa romantically. Like, I've had her for two days, is it bad to fall in love with each other?

Lolflash - click it, you know you want to

I think, personally, that might be a bit too soon. That'd be too soon for a relationship with another person, so in my opinion, it'd be too soon for your tulpa and you. However, if that truly is how you feel, it can't be helped. So long as your feelings are reciprocated, that is.
Greetings! I am the creator of three tulpae, named Ava, Mitch, and Khadgar. I'm semi-new to the community, so please treat me well!
Totally dependent on how fast they develop and whether or not they like you, right? Consent is a thing with tulpas, too. Hugs are always great (not necessarily romantic either), but I'd wait until your tulpa was vocal or otherwise able to communicate clearly before getting too intimate. Not that your tulpa will likely end up not liking you later if they do early on, but - tulpas are known to need some time to organize their thoughts when first developing. They tend to think and do (and prefer etc.) things they later decide they don't want as they're still getting used to existing.

Naturally if you treat your tulpa well there's no reason they'll stop liking you, but yeah.
Hi! I'm Lumi, host of Reisen, Tewi, Flandre and Lucilyn.
Everyone deserves to love and be loved. It's human nature.
My tulpas and I have a Q&A thread, which was the first (and largest) of its kind. Feel free to ask us stuff.
The fact that you asked the question seems indicative of a reason to cause pause, because the root of the question is seeking a normative response, and as expressed above, this is kind of subjective. If you are asking normative sorts of questions, then maybe you aren't ready, or you feel you are imposing your wants, and that is something important to explore to avoid future regrets. Even in human to human relationships, there may be a normative group that has a preferred answer to how soon is too soon, and there are always extreme outliers. I think we don't hear the success stories of outliers, and there are some, but when you hear the horror stories, the group in the defined 'normal' area are probably going to blame the fact you were on the outlier side as to the reason it failed. Seeing how this relationship is human tulpa, or host tulpa, the next complexity is if relationship fails because you didn't give tulpa time to become the fully self deviated 'I am,' potential conflict could arise.

I have a question for you to consider, though, while you are deliberating this. Why wouldn't you love your tulpa? Seriously, you have defined all the attributes, probably going for ideal compatibility, which is normal, and if you get anywhere close to your intent, well, you kind of set yourself up to fall in love with someone. I can't imagine anyone going into this endeavor with the goal of creating a nemesis, or adversary so perfectly opposite that you go the rest of your life in conflict. (And wouldn't such a tulpa have an advantage being so close to the unconscious? Could you guarantee they didn't have access? A true adversary would have to be at least equal, and would figure ways to mess with you.) And so, you love. Yay you. You probably loved before you began the endeavor. Yay you. Yay love. Does that automatically translate into a romantic relationship?

Before I began Forcing, I grappled with your question. I have a huge capacity for love. We probably all have more than we admit. But for clarity, I endeavored to be precise. I also have an extremely high libido set-point. Given just the random thoughts I have through out the day, and my general flights of fancy, I could in no way see how I might engage this process with the purity of a saint and only provide nurturing kind of love. Expectations and hope of a more profound intimacy clearly influenced my motivation, my persistence to see this through. I chose to be brutally honest with this entity I was engaging. It was the only way I could incorporate any sense of ethics into it. Owning this was probably one of the most courageous things I had ever done because I had to be prepared for the ultimate rejection. I mean, if minimum affection or love was not mutual or reciprocated, there was no divorce as an option. I'm not a masochistic slaver, or murderer, so whatever my internal companion became, I would have to honor that. Have you ever been in a human to human relationship where you had love and the other didn't, but maybe you pretended for a while that you could do the friendship, but your feelings frequently get in the way, or you sacrifice your wants to appease other out of hope that maybe they will see your love and maybe rise to meet that... Being stuck in that mode can delay personal growth, true relationship growth, and if the other person knows and they're taken advantage of your niceness, which is not really pure niceness because of the unspoken underlying motivation for maintaining friendship, well... I struggled with this whole thing so much that I nearly didn't engage the process. But the idea of the ideal companion, someone who knew me to the core, someone I couldn't lie to, won out. And though many humans, myself included, can delude self, and lie to self, I didn't think I could lie or hide things from an internal companion, someone I intended to be smart, sophisticated, emotionally savvy, especially when one of the features of a tulpa I wanted, and highly cultivated, was an ability to delve deep into the subconscious mind, to engage shadow work.

So, what am I saying? Be honest with your tulpa. Be prepared to respect their boundaries if it doesn't go the way you imagine. Even if it isn't what you hoped, having the quality of rapport of being completely transparent might result in the sort of friendship with your internal companion that outside relationships improve. Maybe your internal companion will help you find a suitable partner, whether that be in your head or in real life. But no matter what, continue to love. Genuine love will be felt and appreciated, and most likely reciprocated.
Well we'd say there is no such thing as too soon, but that probably would be rather biased from us. I went into tuloamancy knowing being head over heels with her, and love was a factor determining her character.

Think about this: You made a tulpa based on something you love, no? That already is half the equation done with, the rest is determined by gow much of that love and affection do you show.
I don't think you can fall in love with anyone after two days. You can care for your tulpa already this early on, and that's pretty typical, but being in love is different from infatuation/caring. You can't be in love with someone you don't actually know yet, and your tulpa probably hasn't developed a full personality at this point. Being in love takes time.

You could probably have a crush though. Nothing's really stopping you there.
pr // discord: Heckhound#6112

Forum Jump:

Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)

Lolflash - click it, you know you want to