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Timer's Tulpa Thread: Five Tulpas, One Host, and A Floating Island
#1
I'll admit, this thread was a bit difficult to put together. This was because I was shy about making one (I've tried, though I wasn't sure what to put), and I didn't exactly have a way to "introduce" my tulpas. Well, now I've covered the latter, so I figured it was time.
I've made profiles for all five. I wasn't exactly sure how to do it, so I just put them all on the website I have linked in my profile. (Or you can just click here.) They're a bit extensive, so please read them first. It takes off some awkward questions from me, I think.
(I'm well aware one of them does not have a pic yet. One day.)

Some quick notes:
> I use colored text to indicate my tulpas, but I will only use it on the first mention of them in a post. I tried to use colors that would be easily readable on any theme and hopefully unable to anyone's eyes bleed.
> All posts detail events that happened the day before the post is made. (example: a post made on wednesday will detail what happened on tuesday)
> If a day is skipped, it means nothing of note happened or I can't recall anything. That happens sometimes.

The hidden text details the events spanning the first post (10/3/19) to 10/11/19, when mass editing a single post was abandoned in favor of replies, since I didn't know I could do that.

First post (10/3/19)
Anyways, over in the floating island that is my mindscape:
  • Richard is having Mamoru go through therapy to learn how to maintain his form. I've also been informed that it may have something to do with me and my overactive thoughts. Oh, the woes of being a writer.
  • Niles is helping me get my art mojo back together. Let's just say he put together a clever proposition.
  • Everyone's voices have been oddly clear today, with the exception of Mamoru's. This is a little jarring to me. My guess is that it's because I've gotten so deeply connected with them, or maybe it's just one of those days that are better than others.
  • Separation has been rough. I'm constantly having to ask my tulpas if I'm parroting or puppeting, much to their annoyance, since I'm a bit self-conscious about that. It's difficult for me to tell a lot of the time.
  • Even though I've said I've been working on it, imposition is at a standstill. So much has been happening that it's been thrown to the wayside for now. Or maybe it's just hard for me right now, who knows.
I think that's everything for today. I plan to report in daily at most, maybe less if there's not much to speak of on one day.

UPDATE (10/5/19): I forgot to update yesterday, so let me see if I can remember everything...
  • Mamoru seems to have gotten better at controlling his form outside of the mindscape. I guess I just can't constantly focus on him, or his form could start to warp? I don't know.
    > Whatever the case is, he seems to enjoy watching cartoons that I sometimes put on for him. Now to make sure he doesn't become a couch potato.
  • I try to make sure I go walking every day, and yesterday I brought Niles with me in place of Mamoru (who I usually bring to assist in his development, but he was in therapy at the time). We had a nice conversation about various things, and it made me realize the immense scope of things you could talk about with tulpas...in fact, I had trouble thinking of a topic! I guess anything's on the table with them.
  • Don Juan and I got into a little...scuffle about something, so to speak. I'm hesitant to bring up the topic because I'm not sure how people would react, but it did not end in my favor. Thankfully, she forgave me later on.
UPDATE (10/7/19): I have no idea how I managed to do skip two days again. Let me go through my memory...
  • I think I'm either getting ahead of myself or getting rusty when it comes to working on my tulpas. I tried some visualization yesterday and it all seemed blurry. I need to step back and get that down pat before anything else.
  • It seems putting only partial focus on Mamoru seems to help him maintain his form outside of my mindscape. I'm not exactly sure why this is, but I think doing imposition too early could be part of it.
  • I'll confess to not doing enough forcing. I've seen guides that say to do it between thirty minutes and an hour or so, and while I don't time myself, I'm not sure if I do thirty minutes at all. Yeah, scratch working on visualization, I need to work on forcing in general. x.x
  • Intrusive thoughts are being...intrusive thoughts. I'm starting to put together what triggers them to actions I can do to fix them, but it's not perfect yet.
More to come...

UPDATE (10/8/19): Only one update, but it's a big one: I did a full straight hour of forcing yesterday. I am so proud of that.

UPDATE (10/11/19):
  • Trying proxying with Richard in the Discord chat. It feels really odd to do, but I am also really trying to adhere to the "no roleplaying" rule. (As someone that has roleplayed for years, it feels like roleplay when it really isn't...)
  • Forcing is still lacking. Ugggh. It's really hard for me to get myself together to remember.
  • I read up on the tactic of tying a string to your finger so that your tulpa would remind you to force? It doesn't seem to be working for me.
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#2
Wasn't sure if I could reply instead of editing, since this thread was without replies, but I've gotten the A-OK. Phew. Old post was getting long, anyway.

Update 10/13/19:
  • I'm not sure if it's because he's still having form issues or me being inexperienced, but Mamoru seems to have learned how to blend in to surfaces. Well, I think "turning invisible" would fit better here, but I can still tell where he is thanks to his eyes still showing. Not sure what to call it.
  • I tried doing a hypnosis mantra as I was going to sleep, in an attempt to see my tulpas in my dreams. Alas, it did not work. (I think I did it at the wrong time, as I had just crawled into bed...)
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#3
You can post every day in a PR without anyone responding, otherwise you're free to update the post.

Looks like progress to me!
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#4
(10-13-2019, 07:06 PM)Misha Wrote: You can post every day in a PR without anyone responding, otherwise you're free to update the post.

Looks like progress to me!
Thanks! Progress is progress, no matter how big or small.

Anyway, today (read: happened yesterday, but posting today) on the topic of my five tulpas:
  • I binge-watched an anime I like and decided to peek into my mindscape while watching it. Turns out the floating island looked like it was drawn in crayon. How did that happen? I have zero idea. (At least my tulpas were fine, though. It's since been fixed.)
  • Tried doing another hypnosis last night, this time as I was drifting off to sleep instead of right after I got into bed, but this time things went absolutely insane. My tulpas (with the exception of Mamoru, as he had been put to bed) decided to force a message directly to my subconscious. (Is that even possible?) It only got even more insane when Niles decided to be exceptionally forceful with it, causing the sky in the mindscape to split open a little bit. Thankfully, he was stopped before anything got worse, and the crack was repaired. Alas, I don't remember my dreams from last night for some reason. -_-
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#5
Absolutely anything is possible when we're talking about the mind, including mindscape yes.

It sounds,like there were some intrusive thoughts there. Just fix/ignore them with as little effort as possible.
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#6
Update (10/15/19):

  • It took a little bit, but I got some sort of grip on what Richard's presence feels like: warm and comforting, but can also be imposing. I think it depends on his mood. I'll have to try out the others sometime.
Believe it or not, I can't remember anything else that happened yesterday. How odd.
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#7
Update (10/17/19): Meant to post yesterday, but I slid it in drafts. Then the forums hiccuped.

But nonetheless, here's what happened:
  • The day before yesterday, I got a bit of a feeling for Don Juan's presence. It felt warm and welcoming, like seeing a friend you hadn't seen in a while. It felt very serene and calming...which, fittingly enough, is just like her.
  • Yesterday I started working on coloring a drawing Niles for the closest thing to official art I can get to. He was very happy about that.
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#8
Update (10/18/19): Who's ready for a wild ride? This is insane, at least in comparison to everything else so far.
  • The night before last (and I think this past Monday night into Tuesday morning?), I had what I call a "sleepless night", in which I go to sleep, wake up, but can't go back to sleep at all due to racing thoughts. Due to being diagnosed with epilepsy, these kinds of nights also put me at a higher risk for having a seizure. This splits into a one-two for yesterday:
    > While I was laying down in my bed, trying to get to sleep, I felt tiny fingers interlock with my own. Somehow, I immediately pin this to Mamoru. I was so happy that I could have easily started crying--my youngest tulpa was slowly learning touch imposition. ;v; I bet he was worried about me and wanted to show it...poor thing.
    > That morning proper, I was laying down on the loveseat in the living room, medicine all taken, waiting for the weakened seizure to kick in. Now, I cannot tell if this was part of the "seizure dream" or not because the dream took place in the exact same room I was in, viewpoint and all, but I saw Don Juan smile at me. She was in human form and I recall being unable to see her eyes, as if a camera wasn't angled quite right. What I remember even more, though, was the ruby red lipstick she had on. It looked like the kind with the sparkly look to it, like it had glitter in it. I doubt I'll ever get that image out of my head.
It seems as if my tulpa-related memory is becoming more and more selective. Looks like I'll have to start writing down stuff that happens.
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#9
Update (10/21/19): Nothing of note to report from the days before...except for this.
  • I think I had my first lucid dream...well, almost. It was another "seizure dream", but I actually realized that I was dreaming. I knew I would be excited, so I quickly did the spin thing that's supposed to help you stay in the dream longer. I managed to see Richard in the dream as well, though it was as a clear outline. Its form started morphing a little bit (maybe there's more form issues in my mindscape than I thought?) and I remember that towards the end, I could feel myself being forcibly pulled back somehow. I tried to resist (and I think I did well), and I remember begging him not to go...but then I came to. Ugh.

    Again, I wouldn't call this a lucid dream personally, but it's the closest I've gotten to one. Definitely not going to repeat that method willingly, though, not if it triggers from a weakened seizure.
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#10
Update {10/22/19): Things have been slowing down immensely on my end. I'll get to this in a little bit. But first...
  • Went walking for the first time in a while, and I asked my tulpas if one of them wanted to come along. Mamoru was happy to oblige. We talked about a good few things, like the "silly signs" (election signs) and some heavy topics like how he can be whatever he wants to be. The latter is definitely a bit much for someone like him, but it's an important topic to cover.
  • Once we got in, I asked him if he wanted to watch some TV. I couldn't do too much for him in that department, so the best I could think of was turning on "Jeopardy" (the game show). He thought it was weird.
And now for a footnote: I think my initial excitement in tulpamancy is finally wearing down. So many other thoughts are taking priority that I can't focus on them. It's starting to worry me a little. I fear that one of them may leave...but that's just an intrusive thought, so I wish to believe.
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