TimerBunneh

[ARCHIVE] Timer's Tulpa Thread: Five Tulpas, One Host, and A Floating Island

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Update (10/29/19): I've found a way to write things down. I'm not updating it as the day goes on. Someone get a squeaky hammer and bop me with it, please. ><

  • This was a wild day with possession! Partial possession, especially in my left arm, seemed to be over the place. However, the strangest (perhaps even the scariest so far) moment was when Richard and I consented to do some possession--and I want to say there were blend-like moments. I can't verify if it was blending or not (if it was, it was very mild), but I can say it was seriously weird. I can't even describe how it felt, but it's also been at least 24 hours since it happened.
  • I had another night with little sleep, so I was bracing myself for the incoming weakened seizure...but it didn't happen. It was exceptionally strange to me, but later on I read that, supposedly, tulpas can take in and absorb pain. Could one of them have absorbed my seizure? I think I'll stick with the "got lucky" explanation for now.
  • My vivid world-building thoughts leaked out into the mindscape somehow. A lot of it had to do with Mamoru, but they were things I didn't want him to know about. Alas, he found out, and this resulted in a worse reaction than the separation exercise I mentioned last time. From what I was told, he ended up sealing himself off in another portion of the scape. When I came back to check on him later in the day, he was being comforted by Niles. I apologized as calmly as I could, and things ended up working out in the end. Phew.
  • Slowly forming ground rules for possession and (possible) switching. Very slowly.


PR Thread | Q&A Thread (Tulpas Only) | I'm on the Discord as Timer

My tulpas type in many different colors!

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Update (10/30/19): This was the worst day so far in all my time as a host. How so? Two words: Thoughts. Emotions.

  • While I was out casually walking, a sudden wave of depression came over me. Made me down for the rest of my walk, but Niles did his best to cheer me up. He's a good kid, really.  :) 
  • Yesterday evening was insane, and this is where the "worst" part comes in. I found myself severely stressed thanks to problems with the Wifi on my computer and stuff going on on Discord. I ended up shutting off my computer and locking myself in my room, willingly this time. (Dare I say it made my mind...discordant?)
    But no, that's not the bad part. While I was in there, intrusive thoughts decided to dogpile on me. For me, intrusive thoughts are the absolute worst, as I tend to focus on them a lot and risk them becoming tulpas. But that's not even the worst part--these were fetish thoughts, which made them even harder to get out of. I did eventually snap myself out of it after...maybe an hour and a half, though at the cost of finding my scape entirely vacant, with no signs of any of my tulpas to be seen. I was scared, afraid that I'd killed them off or something. (More intrusive thoughts, yay!) I was, needless to say, a wreck. Much to my relief, all five of them came back, unchanged as far as I could tell. I have zero idea where they went off to, but all that matters is that they came back. I'm sure they were as worried as I was.


PR Thread | Q&A Thread (Tulpas Only) | I'm on the Discord as Timer

My tulpas type in many different colors!

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UPDATE (10/31/19): This was a very interesting day tulpa-wise.

  • Yesterday was all about recovering from the day before. I found myself lost in my thoughts again when I found a spot in my mindscape I hadn't seen before: a park, serene as can be with a few benches here and there and hardly a cloud in the sky. As it turns out, from what I understand anyways, it was Richard that made it! While I never doubted his abilities in the first place, it still surprised me. (And yes, I know he gets a lot of mentions in these posts. I'll see about evening things out if I can.)
  • After I finished exploring the new section of the scape alongside my five tulpas (and fighting back intrusive thoughts a little bit), Richard came up with an idea as to how to handle those nasty things: "make it fun". How so, you ask? Simple: take the intrusive thought and make it into something exciting the best you can, rather than playing along by its rules. This will definitely be tested out when one dares to show its face in my scape. (In fact, it's already been tested somewhat--it seems to work! No guarantees, though.)

I'll see if anything spooky happens in my scape today, with it being Halloween and all.


PR Thread | Q&A Thread (Tulpas Only) | I'm on the Discord as Timer

My tulpas type in many different colors!

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  • After I finished exploring the new section of the scape alongside my five tulpas (and fighting back intrusive thoughts a little bit), Richard came up with an idea as to how to handle those nasty things: "make it fun". How so, you ask? Simple: take the intrusive thought and make it into something exciting the best you can, rather than playing along by its rules. This will definitely be tested out when one dares to show its face in my scape. (In fact, it's already been tested somewhat--it seems to work! No guarantees, though.)

 

Let's hope this quote works?

Anyways, this sounds super helpful. Seriously, you would've thought we'd have found something that helps with intrusive thoughts by now but so far nothing has worked. We're gonna try this out(if we remember to)! Love your pr, by the way. Smiles!

- Diana


Kelly- host, they/them, Diana- tulpa, she/her, Garlan- walk-in tulpa, he/him

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For us, the prescription is to give it as little attention as possible, but in the beginning we had actual battles with intrusives using metaphorical magic and presumed dominance. The basis for our logic was, if you can believe a hideous beast is eating you, than you can believe you're made of steel and break all its teeth. There's no balance of power in mindscape, it's all your power, so you are the ultimate power, a god of your realm, no beast or stray thought for that matter, can even begin to match or outwit god themself.

 

They can be pretty annoying though.

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For us, the prescription is to give it as little attention as possible, but in the beginning we had actual battles with intrusives using metaphorical magic and presumed dominance. The basis for our logic was, if you can believe a hideous beast is eating you, than you can believe you're made of steel and break all its teeth. There's no balance of power in mindscape, it's all your power, so you are the ultimate power, a god of your realm, no beast or stray thought for that matter, can even begin to match or outwit god themself.

 

They can be pretty annoying though.

...I think my mind may have exploded for a moment. That's deep.

 

UPDATE (11/1/19): You would think that with it being Halloween that there would be a bit to report. Spoiler alert: there is, but not much at all.

  • The mindscape decided to have a spooky purple sky. Was this my decision? Who knows. Nothing different besides that, though.
  • As I was drifting off to sleep, an idea occurred to me that I should make an "ask the tulpa(s)" thread. This was almost unanimously rejected. From what I remember, it was mainly due to Mamoru's young age (both physically and mentally) and Rasmus almost entirely lacking a word filter.


PR Thread | Q&A Thread (Tulpas Only) | I'm on the Discord as Timer

My tulpas type in many different colors!

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I think an ask/personal thread could be a pretty good forcing tool (or just vent) for some systems. Like Ash said tough, those threads lose momentum very quickly.


Hi! I'm one of the most active fronters of Unicorn Cavalry. I like timey wimey stuff and blue boxes. Make it timey wimey blue box stuff and we're set to explore all time, forum and space!

My system mates on here: Kurisutina, Udongein, Xarbern

Cbox, the chill chat room

Our Journey (Messy PR)

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Interesting tips. Thanks guys!

 

Update (11/2/19): I hate all-caps. I'm going to stop doing that. (Also hey, I wrote things down for the entire day for once!)

  • For some reason I have "starting to wonder how far along my tulpas are again" written down. I actually cannot explain why this is there. Early morning doubt, maybe.
  • I considered expanding my horizons with my tulpas, as in "doing things I wouldn't normally do with them so they could develop more". I specifically thought of watching a movie with one of them--alas, that didn't happen.
  • I found an article on spooky video games that kids can possibly handle. I decided to do something interesting and pick one of the games to bond with Mamoru. I decided to try out "Costume Quest" and he seemed to like it! (Although after playing it a little, it may be more up Niles's alley than his...)
  • Who's ready for more anxiety? Show of hands....no one? Well, I didn't raise my hand either, but I got some anyway.
     
    I was out with my dad doing stuff with him when my tulpas suddenly broke through my thoughts and complained about me "blocking them out", as they put it. This is a massive yet sadly common problem for me--I'll often get so focused on something that I can easily forget that I'm doing something to help/force my tulpas or forget about them altogether. I took it seriously at first, but then my mind jumped to it possibly being an intrusive thought--and it made me wonder what those thoughts can actually be like. Can they be quick and fleeting, stagnant and intimidating, or both? I'm leaning towards both, myself.
     
    As for what happened, I did eventually let it go. Didn't stop me from feeling awful about it, though.
  • As I was headed home with my dad afterwards, my mind wandered to thoughts on proxying. I'm not sure how this happened, but Richard stepped in with his own thoughts on the matter. I quote, to the best of my memory:
     
    "I will speak what I want to speak. Not what you want, but what I want."
     
    Considering he's my "main" for proxying, it looks like the line between what I think is proxying and what actually is proxying is being drawn...


PR Thread | Q&A Thread (Tulpas Only) | I'm on the Discord as Timer

My tulpas type in many different colors!

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