Stupid Jokes Thread

[jean-luc]

A: What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

[tulpa001]

hahaha, jean-luc wins the internet with that one.

 

How is a raven like a writing desk?

 

A:

Poe wrote on both.

 

[jean-luc]

A random IRC chat happened...

 

so, two guys walk into a bar
one guy says fuck you
the other guy runs out, crying
the end :)
* Kat^^ frowns
so, two guys walk into a bar
one guy says fuck you
the other guys says "gladly"
They go off to a motel and have some fun
hey, hey, hey!!
there were no alternate endings to my story, mister
Sounds pretty gay, jean
so, two guys walk into a bar
they say in almost-but-not-quite unison, "No time for drinks! We're stuck in a time loop"
the bartender says "what can I get you boys"?

 

---

 

"Yes."

 

"Is that a yes?"

 

"How'd you get a ring!?"

 

The man gets down on one knee, and says to the other: "Jeffery, will you marry me already?"

 

The bartender says "What can I get you?"

 

Two men walk into a bar, crying tears of sweet joy.

[Marianne]

Not sure this qualifies as a joke but I though I'd share this interesting poem with you.

Could go in a in vocalization thread in stead.

 

 

 

Magic

 

Read this to yourself. Read it silently. 

Don't move your lips. Don't make a sound. 

Listen to yourself. Listen without hearing anything. 

What a wonderfully weird thing, huh? 

 

NOW MAKE THIS PART LOUD! 

SCREAM IT IN YOUR MIND! 

DROWN EVERYTHING OUT. 

Now, hear a whisper. A tiny whisper. 

 

Now, read this next line with your best crochety- old-man voice: 

"Hello there, sonny. Does your town have a post office?" 

Awesome! Who was that? Whose voice was that? 

It sure wasn't yours!

 

How do you do that?

How?! 

Must be magic.