Curious Puffin's first tulpa.

[Curious Puffin]

(I have no idea how to introduce myself without sounding awkward, aaaaaa)

 

I'm starting the creation of my first tulpa today. I heard about this phenomenon recently, and I'm quite interested in experiencing this for myself.

 

I've got a pretty loose, general idea of him at the moment, and I'm using the name "Feliks" as a placeholder until we become in-touch enough to speak with each other about changing it.

 

I have a mild anxiety disorder and very few close friends other than my kid brother, so I feel that a companion like Feliks could help me improve myself greatly. That being said, I'm also here out of curiosity (hence, "CURIOUS puffin") because I've never heard of anything similar to this, and I'm an ultra-skeptic about most things. I also understand that a tulpa is a lifelong commitment and I'm ready to take that on. I'm going to begin forcing very soon.

 

I'll update when we start making progress. :)

[Procron X]

Let me be the first one to welcome you to the community! Niteo is the name.

 

I've known tulpas to be helpful for all sorts of issues related to mental health like anxiety and depression, and obviously companionship is desirable.

 

We'll be following your progress (unless you insist we stop). Let us know if you have any questions.

[Floh]

Welcome to this family =D I am pretty sceptical about kinda everything too, but Cora made me end up being unable to doubt tulpas :D

 

Having someone all the time near you, giving you pieces of advice, joking and thinking with you is really comforting and helpful to cure loneliness, sadness and stress(Is it English?).Well at least it is for me :D

We'll be following your progress too ! We'd be pleased to help answering questions too (if we can) ! A newbie system can have an interesting opinion I guess :D

 

Just remember nothing is absolute here ! Most tulpa things depend on the system, there is no such thing as truth here.

[Curious Puffin]

Before I officially start with this update, thanks for welcoming me to the community! I really didn't know what to expect with my first post on here and I'm glad that some folks bothered to make me feel at home. :D  

 

     Last night I started forcing for the first time ever. I created my wonderland and I pictured myself in it, then began to talk to Feliks in my mindvoice. I told him who I was and explained that I'd be his host. After I introduced myself, I told him about the wonderland that I had made for him. I explained in detail all of the things that I had put there, and basically followed what the guides had said about first impressions. 

 

     Now, I don't know if this is just because I'm good at imagining stuff and I was just puppeting; or if this was actually him, but Feliks appeared next to me at one point and followed me around for a while. He didn't have any personality or voice, but I could clearly see his form in the wonderland. He looked almost the same as how I imagined him before I started forcing, so that's why I think I might've been puppeting him. It confused me because I've seen a lot of people say that visualizing's really hard, but I could see him so vividly in the wonderland. 

 

     Either way, I think that this first session went really well. I wasn't even planning on updating this soon, but the super quick visualization thing was weird and I thought someone might care. I probably won't actually update this more than once or twice a week unless something happens.

 

ttfn :-)

[Floh]

Congratulations :D

I can only compare this to my personal experience, and i didn't create our wonderland before like a month of forcing or so.. I was way too filled with doubts (and fear probably).

About the pupetting thing, what worked for me was to consider the tulpa exists and is "sentient" from the very moment you decide to make them. All you do then is just teaching your brain and your "inner you" to connect to this tulpa and to "picture" their presence.

It was how I deleted any parrotnoïd problems ;)

 

(Btw, please tell me if you want this thread to remain "yours" like a diary, we don't want to be intrusive, but we'd love to follow your progress ;).)

[Reisen]

He looked almost the same as how I imagined him before I started forcing, so that's why I think I might've been puppeting him. It confused me because I've seen a lot of people say that visualizing's really hard, but I could see him so vividly in the wonderland.

 

Don't worry about puppeting, especially not before you've even made your tulpa! It's impossible not to be influencing them when you're in the middle of creating them. You're just developing who they are for now, so whether it's "really them" following you around or such is really not important. At first you focus on establishing them as a stable person, expanding on their personality and how they act/react to stuff and such. And after that then you work on making them autonomous, meaning you get your brain to know them well enough they act without you having to influence them. You don't even need to worry about puppeting at all because at first it's irrelevant and after it's what you're working on replacing. Your tulpa won't be mad if you accidentally puppeted them (probably) while working on forcing them.

 

And I think once you guys get vocality down it's pretty obvious when they said something or not. They develop their own voice in your mind that literally sounds like them.

[Curious Puffin]

(Btw, please tell me if you want this thread to remain "yours" like a diary, we don't want to be intrusive, but we'd love to follow your progress ;).)

 

I actually appreciate that you're taking the time to follow us and talk. Thanks. :) 

 

-

 

Over the last few days we've been forcing nearly every night, and sometimes in the morning. I've been getting a lot of emotional responses, even when I'm not forcing. They feel foreign to my own emotions, like someone else is feeling it in my body. Feliks usually reacts when I listen to music, play video games, and watch movies. I'm considering watching a horror movie tonight just to find out how he'll feel about it. :P

 

He isn't fully vocal yet, (He can mostly say things like "yes" and "no") but he definitely has a distinctly cheerful and sweet personality. When I'm in my wonderland visualizing him, he has body language that's clearly different from my own. Of all the things he has said, he mostly just agrees or disagrees with what I say, but he told me that he likes ice cream, so maybe we're getting somewhere with that? I didn't even mention ice cream to him that day. He just said it out of the blue while I was listening out for him. 

He also sort of "woke up" while I was talking to my brother about him, and I could kind of feel him in my head. He wasn't saying any words that I could distinguish, but he was there. 

 

Usually when I force, I just tell him that I'm happy that he's there with me, I like spending time with him, and then I talk to him whatever else is happening in my life, and I encourage him to respond. I've stopped worrying about puppeting since my last post, thanks to Reisen's reply.

[Curious Puffin]

Feliks has been deviating a lot. Nearly every time I force, he has a completely different personality. It's weird, but I suppose that it's a normal part of the tulpa creation process. At first he was really perky and sweet, but then he suddenly became emo and shy. I still love him no matter what, but it was weird to see such a dramatic change. Last night he shifted back to his original personality and told me that he wanted to draw robots? I don't know why, but he talked for like 20 minutes about drawing robots. I guess he could've gotten the idea because we were watching a lot of Futurama.  ;)

 

     Since my last post, he has expanded quite a bit beyond "Yes," "No," and random praises of ice cream. He talks in full sentences almost all the time and on special occasions, his mindvoice sounds different than mine. Usually it's just when he laughs or makes "Hmm" noises.

 

     Sometimes when I ask him questions I get a muddled reply that sounds like "yes" and "no" overlapping each other, and when I try to clarify, it just happens again until we have to just drop the question and try again another day. Does that happen to anyone else? 

[Vos]

It might be a good idea to ask for answers that aren't yes or no for a while, even if the questions are simple. Responses bleeding into each other is common, from what I've read, but it tends to go away after a while -- a workaround like this should help you for the time being, since he can do those full sentences now.

[Floh]

Yes/No mixes happen to us a lot. I try to change the question into something that can't be answered with yes or no, as Vos advised, and it usually works ;)