Jump to content

Evg&co syslog archive


Recommended Posts

[Jay]

Another small update.

 

First things first, lucid dreaming progress!

Today I had a lucid dream or two (need to improve dream recall...), and I actually practiced some dreaming skills instead of overhyping and getting kicked out.

Specifically, I did a bit of dream stabilization stuff and experimented with reality checks to get a feel of how they turn out in dreams.

Also, this time I remembered to summon Pinkie! However, it didn't work fully.

She was there, I heard her voice just like voices of dream characters, and I was aware of where her form was.

However, there was no real visual, at all, kinda like it is IRL for now. Dream characters reported hearing the voice but not seeing anything, too.

Both me and Pinkie remember the events only from my dream perspective, just like it usually happens IRL.

Nonetheless, it's huge progress, I think!

 

Second, I think we actually experienced shared emotion boosting, or whatever it's supposed to be called.

We saw a picture online that each of us three individually found funny, but not funny enough to laugh our collective ass off.

Still, the body proceeded to laugh. It didn't feel like me, and neither Sunny nor Pinkie took responsibility either.

Here's the picture, for reference: (It's NASA logo, just... slightly modified.)

[hidden]mSvf4Pb.png[/hidden]

 

In other news, we mostly got rid of the stressor called "Uni graduation", I'm finally getting my master's degree after some more formalities are over with.

For some reason, I'm considering going for a Ph.D. after that. I'm not sure why none of us are screaming "No! What the f* are you even thinking!?"

Also, getting a new, better job right now, and will have to move out of the dorms rather soon.

𝝮mega system: [Jay] (evgenirus, Evg), host; [Sunny] (rarely Alice), older tulpa; [Pinkie] (Ponka, Diane), younger walk-in tulpa.

Our progress report thread. // Prior to May 2019 we used colored text here (Sunny, Pinkie, Jay), but it messes with themes.

 

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Replies 67
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

[sunny] Huh, we didn't think someone was still paying attention to this thread. Pardon the pun.

Thanks for the reply, I'm pretty sure it will just take more practice, for lucid dreaming and our development both.

𝝮mega system: [Jay] (evgenirus, Evg), host; [Sunny] (rarely Alice), older tulpa; [Pinkie] (Ponka, Diane), younger walk-in tulpa.

Our progress report thread. // Prior to May 2019 we used colored text here (Sunny, Pinkie, Jay), but it messes with themes.

 

Link to post
Share on other sites

Congratulations! YESH!

 

Life related babble inside.

[Hidden]

I was going to continue on to the PhD, and I talked to a lot of PhD students because I was in the PhD program, but I stopped at the masters personally because I knew where I was, with the adviser I had, I would have had to quit my job and concentrate on that for a good 5-7 years? (on average) dang, it's not worth that. I would have had a free ride, no tuition and stipend but not even half what I was getting working. In the department I was in, they literally didn't care how long it took for you to get the PhD it was very much like a job, you're the professor's bitch and doing his work as he wrote papers and books. In their defense, their job is not easy. They were super anal for getting the masters over with but the PhD, naa, we need willing slaves for as long as possible.

 

Those who graduated that program were missing something mentally, they had ascended to a place that could barely be reached by mortal man. The masters was hard enough and surely the PhD in some ways would be easier since classes are over for the most part (though you do still take classe, TA classes and teach classes) but it seemed like a very long and painful shlog and I couldn't afford where I was living with that stipend, so back to the slums.

 

I do not regret that I didn't get it, it surely doesn't matter in my field, I'm not going for professor bear, and I wouldn't get paid more to be Dr. Bear, so why why why? If you're in any of the biology type fields that would definitely help a lot though. I'm in a research field and I get paid the same as those who did go all the way.

 

Also, they have an incredible work ethic but they're not any more proficient, I'm way faster and more practical then them in a lot of ways. I see them get hung up on little things that can just be estimated and move on. I'm not saying it will turn you into someone who is aloof and anal but it will bring out the aloof anal person in you.

 

Good luck and have fun. Working isn't really that bad other than the regular hours which are not ideal. I'd much rather have assignments and get them done any time than go in 8-5 if you know what I mean. Those jobs are available, telework and that sort of thing has basically gotten me close but there are core hours still. After all that PhD work, unless you own your own company, core hours will still be a thing. In some fields, it's like highschool all over again only with adults that aren't trying to give you a wedgie.

 

[/hidden]

 

Good luck on your future endeavors. We do have doctors here, Dr. Ido is one.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 10 months later...
(edited)

[Jay] Okay, so we are back from the dead finally posting a new update, almost a year later.

 

Short version:

We settled into daily life and got lazy on the tulpamancy front. Still no imposition, though visualization is arguably okay by now. Not much separation, though the girls definitely think for themselves. Not much possession any more, too. Still, Pinkie is very much active, Sunny a little less so. We mostly concentrate on our shared goals, some are mostly mine, and the girls don't quite get their fair share. But none of us really thought of it before we started writing this report. I guess one just gets caught up in day-to-day stuff.

End of short version.

 

Sunny and Pinkie are over a year old now. We were meaning to write this report on Sunny's birthday. Then on Pinkie's. And then we randomly decided to just do it or it would never happen.

 

During that year, we've graduated with our masters degree, gotten a new job and went for PhD. Having second thoughts about the latter, but it's too late to back out. Besides, that's the easiest legal way to avoid getting drafted into our army for a whole year, and I need to wait out just a year and a half more. Also, stipend and a free dorm room add up to almost half of what would have remained of our current salary after taxes and rent. We manage a full-time job alongside studying mostly fine, though it gets incredibly frustrating at times.

 

Overall, the studying and the job take most of the time. Tried doing polyphasic sleeping to try and carve out about 4 more hours per day. Mot much luck just yet, but since for now we are almost always at home on "soft quarantine" due to covid19 risk, this adaptation attempt #2.5 might actually work.

 

We've gotten lazy on the tulpamancy front, or maybe just don't have enough time. Only had a few dedicated practive sessions in all that time, which is basically nothing. "Passive forcing" is happening all the time, though (at least for Pinkie, Sunny is a bit less active usually), so it's not too bad. Visualization has arguably improved, but imposition is nowhere in sight (pardon the pun), and oftentimes we don't bother with visualization at all, the girls stay as just voices above shoulders. Our wonderland is sort of abandoned, we rarely try doing anything there, maybe because I still haven't learned to properly dissociate from the body. Besides, neither Sunny nor Pinkie seem to be able to do anything outside my attention, though at least Pinkie is very good at grabbing it, so they can't go there without me. We still don't really have any memory or attention separation, even for working memory, playing "Guess what I've put in the box?" or whatever the game is called is pretty much impossible as of now. I wonder if it's too late to change some (or all) of these, but that's not a useful mindset.

 

On the positive side, in the summer we bought our first kick-scooter, and found out that we have different styles of riding it! Basically, Pinkie is very efficient at making it go fast, Sunny is sort of more graceful at it and spends the least energy, and I just get from A to B in the most unremarkable way, but there are more differences that are hard to describe. For example, I seem to tire out faster than Pinkie when trying to go as fast as her.

 

As having tulpas became less of a novelty and more mundane for me, the most prominent change I noticed is that I pretty much stopped even considering the idea that they might not be "real". We sort of have more important things to worry about. xD  Besides that, they behave authentically. Pinkie pipes up very often when I'm not too busy, but whenever I'm talking to someone or really concentrating she's usually silent while I still "hear" my own mindvoice, so I'm pretty sure it's not just me talking for her automatically.

 

Anyway, that's all for now. Spent too much time writing this report, mostly thinking, and the time is short, lots to do. Will need to revisit various guides on tulpamancy and decide what to do next.

 

Oh, and we've finally choosen the name for our system! That would be Omega. Not much meaning behind it, really, but Pinkie likes how "Diane Omega" sounds.

Edited by evgenirus

𝝮mega system: [Jay] (evgenirus, Evg), host; [Sunny] (rarely Alice), older tulpa; [Pinkie] (Ponka, Diane), younger walk-in tulpa.

Our progress report thread. // Prior to May 2019 we used colored text here (Sunny, Pinkie, Jay), but it messes with themes.

 

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 8 months later...

[Pinkie] Progress update: There is no progress! Yay!

 

Still trying for Ph.D., still not drawing much, still not making music, still not speaking Japanese. No tulpamancy-related improvements either. (I think.)

 

Almost two years into tulpamancy. Memory is funny, I don't feel like I didn't exist two years ago? Sunny is learning to draw, but otherwise we don't do much, just talk while Jay does his thing. Might want to stop being that lazy, buuut… Oh well 😛

 

 

𝝮mega system: [Jay] (evgenirus, Evg), host; [Sunny] (rarely Alice), older tulpa; [Pinkie] (Ponka, Diane), younger walk-in tulpa.

Our progress report thread. // Prior to May 2019 we used colored text here (Sunny, Pinkie, Jay), but it messes with themes.

 

Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

×
×
  • Create New...