How to Reconcile Beliefs and Souls?

[TB]

I hope it isn't bad to write this. I'm not sure if this is the right place or not.

 

I do not know how to deal with different beliefs or how to have them. I cannot handle not knowing what to believe and what is true or not. My mind strongly has conflicting beliefs that I don't know how to reconcile.

 

I do not understand how someone can just not think about it and not care, confide/be okay with what I interpret as nihilistic beliefs, or seemingly nonchalantly just pick and believe in any random belief that sounds good. This issue has been difficult for me for a long time, but recently continues to become a bigger and bigger issue for me.

 

I need to believe in souls and an afterlife, or I am forced to find everything meaningless. I use to believe in them because I was told they were true by my parents, and I had little reason to not believe them other than paranoia. (I've had fear of there potentially being no afterlife as long as I can remember, even as a small child I think...) It has become more difficult to do so starting since about 9 or 10 years ago, but the last couple years and even more so, the last few weeks, have been difficult for my mind.

 

I started out believing (or desperately hoping?) that both my tulpa and I had souls, but now I increasingly am afraid that neither of us do. By souls, I suppose I mean some kind of mechanism that contains the essence of a person to make them what they are, and continues existing after the body dies.

 

My experience of switching seems to disprove that belief in one way or another, and strongly reinforces belief in the concept of anatta (no-self) from Buddhism. It isn't just that either. Meditation and self introspection over the last 2 years have also dwindled it, and reinforced to me the lack of having an ingrained essence. This all leaves me horrified, and my mind has been trying to figure out how this can be true and there still be an afterlife, and if so, how my tulpa would relate to me in it. I also have some sort of disillusionment in the concept of other people and myself that is hard to explain properly. It is some sort of feeling of how can anything matter if the things I strongly associate with myself and my essence are just fabricated by accident and not truly apart of me? I hadn't directly touched that idea as closely, but now that I have I can see it hurts pretty badly.

 

On the other hand, I am stuck. I have a tremendous amount of self hatred and regret, and I can't carry the weight or idea of these awful things inside of me as being apart of my soul. I think a part of me feels I deserve to go to hell. I do not want to go to hell though, but the disgust and embarassment of many past actions is too much. It wouldn't immediately stop the pain and guilt, but if no-self is true, then I guess I would not have to really associate myself with things this body has done and thought in the past? That is comforting for some things, but my mind is a twisted maze and holds on to things of the past it feels it needs still as well... But either way it also leaves me not knowing how to know whether I should care about anything at all because how could there be an afterlife that way?

 

I associated my soul with my ability to view and experience things, and I don't want it to stop, and I don't want it to not be me. But I don't like a lot of myself, and need so many things cut away. I love my tulpa and my characters more than anything, and I don't want to stop knowing them.

[Luminesce]

Ugh, Christian afterlife, that's the one you find comfort in? No belief system that encourages believing you might go to hell is okay with me. I don't think humans can be blamed for being a product of their DNA and environments postmortem. I have a secondary set of beliefs (I'm more or less atheist or agnostic) learned from Erin Pavlina's take on New Age Spirituality, which if you're looking for some positive-enforcing, life meaning-giving beliefs/system, I would recommend you look into. Her site's written as articles that I've been following for ten or so years, and I highly suggest you go all the way down to 2006 or so and go from there. Newer articles are not necessarily better, and in fact I think the basis of her New Age Spirituality beliefs are only covered well in the older articles, with newer ones mostly written to add onto them. And note New Age is a huge and varied "religion" (not quite a religion, it doesn't necessarily ask anything of you) - I am only vouching for Erin's stuff alone (and there's absolutely tons of it). I've seen other very unhealthy beliefs held by "New Age" practicers that I heavily disagree with.

 

So, taking a step back, I said secondary set of beliefs. It's good to see someone say they literally cannot hold two opposing beliefs at the same time, that means all those times we've said "It's hard to do, not everyone knows how" were correct. So, as someone who needs to be able to explain anything before I can believe it, and is heavily reliant on logic for just about everything in my life - I learned to hold two possibly opposing beliefs side by side when it came to the unprovable. Erin Pavlina's teachings of New Age Spirituality really helped instill some positive thinking in my life when I was otherwise very negative (whilst believing I was "totally logical", I was actually seeing the whole world in a negative light). Science and logic haven't really helped me tell if there's an afterlife or if we have souls, and because I didn't want to ever be completely wrong in my expectations (which would have been, expecting nothing when I die), I picked up Erin's New Age teachings as a sort of backup. There was a point in my life where those beliefs guided me a lot more than they do these days, as I've sort of outgrown my need of them, but perhaps they're what I needed when I was younger. Plus, despite not necessarily believing in their spiritual aspects anymore (again I'm more atheist/agnostic), I fully believe the effects believing in pretty much anything Erin says are purely positive on you.

 

She heavily encourages all sorts of positive ways of thinking, and while she does state spiritual stuff very matter-of-factly, I think she throws in a lot of "be open minded and think for yourself/take what works for you" sorts of advice. Her articles never struck me as forcing me to believe arbitrary stuff like most religions do, they're almost more like suggestions. And hey, if I die and there is an afterlife, at least I won't be caught totally off guard, because I had these beliefs in the back of my mind.

 

But for just going through life, I don't really worry about the afterlife and all that. It's completely and utterly irrelevant to your living life. No matter what (reasonable) religion you believe in, there's no way whatever higher power (God, Source, what have you) had you incarnate with free will and the ability to think just so you could worry about what happens before and after death. No matter how you look at it, it's all about what happens in between.

 

Now mind you, my primary beliefs don't even care if there's an afterlife and assume there's not. I live as a humanitarian whose self-decided purpose is to spread well-being to my fellow humans, to improve the quality of people's lives and to enjoy the time I do have. Because logically, that's the only thing that makes sense to do. Any god that punishes me for that is a stupid god I don't want to serve anyways. If Christianity's God is the/a real god in the end, I fully believe I'll be in perfectly good standing with Him, despite not being Christian/etc. religion. Even if I was sent to hell for God-knows-why, I would not regret my life and the choices I made. It would be God who was wrong, not me. But, obviously, I give whatever higher power(s) that may exist a lot more credit than that, hence me not actually being afraid of a possible Hell or what have you lol. I think if you live to improve the lives of others and yourself, or even just to get along and help others do the same, whether death is the end or only the beginning, that you couldn't possibly have lived incorrectly.

 

Finding a purpose - a logically supported one, even if it is religious or spiritual - can help you feel more sure in everything you do. I hope you can do that, whether through Erin's teachings on incarnating to experience being separate from Source/each other, learning, and becoming One again; being a good Christian who.. doesn't tell people they're going to Hell if they don't believe an arbitrary unfounded-in-logic belief; or just by living like me knowing you're doing the best you can with the information and circumstances you've been given, to make a positive difference in the world (even if it's small, if it's all you could do).

 

 

As for my tulpas, secondary-belief wise, I don't think whether our souls are separate or not matters much whilst incarnated - and supposedly after dying you realize you and everyone else and Source are all connected, and on an even higher level/less separation, you're all just Source, pure unconditional love and being One. So whether my tulpas are or aren't "technically separate" doesn't seem to matter in the grander scheme, because from a higher perspective we're still all One. But, I don't rely on those beliefs for comfort even a tiny bit. I'm fully confident in how I'm living life to be the best way I can, and so the end result of death is really irrelevant to me until I get there.

[Guest]

I don't think anything you said precludes the existence of a soul. Who knows really. I would think, "Life is pretty meaningless if we don't have a soul" so I can then choose (and I really can choose because it's my mind) that I do have a soul and therefore gain solace from that, but it doesn't have to be actually true for me to gain solace because there's no proving it one way or the other. You're never going to find out if you were right or not as long as you live.

 

So any old writings about there being souls or not, existence past life or not, reincarnation or not, is just man's quest to find solace and peace in his own mind. Why believe something you would find an antithesis of existence if it bothers you? You're never going to have proof. It's a lot like Tulpamancy in that way, you choose what to believe and live it. The stronger you live and breath it, the stronger it is, the better your skill at belief the more fulfilled the experience is. The difference with tulpamancy is that eventually you know too much that it's harder not to believe. Thank goodness it coincides with your desires.

 

You're torturing yourself to believe something that pains you when that something has no proof.

 

Is there a god? Are we alone in the universe? What happens to me specifically when I die? These are entirely up for debate and the winner is the one who walks away satisfied with a set of beliefs he can live with.

 

I believe I have a soul, Misha has a soul, Dashie has a soul, Ashley has a soul, and all the rest of my crew, whether they're claiming to be independent or not, at some point they'll have one and can move on with us. I believed this more strongly after switching only because if I can switch and I know that my head-mates are equal to me then they must posses what I do. It's not just me, we're all people, and if people have souls than we all do. You can choose to believe that and you can alternatively choose to believe in the one body one soul concept. Then I say that the one soul will be split upon death and we all will get our independence because we are independent, so that makes the most sense to me.

 

This is so easy for me because we're all making this conjecture up, it can't be proven. I choose to believe the best possible scenario in all cases given there is no proof. Multiverse, souls, god, benevolent aliens, time travel, FTL drive, I believe these are all possible and exist because I can't prove they do or don't and it's arbitrary because it doesn't directly affect my life either way. It's not a debate, it's only me, and only I (and my system) matter in my own mind. Like a board of controls that don't attach to anything. Okay, why turn them all down, why turn any of them down, I'd rather see them all up and sleep well. I don't let fear and anxiety rule me as it once did.

 

If I'm totally wrong, I won't ever know, who cares. I don't, Dashie doesn't care, Ashley doesn't even care, she's giggling at my rant. Misha only cares because she cares about you and your predicament.

 

I only have one point, believe what you want.

 

EDIT: Lumi, the concept of hell is dying, I have been seeing that it's not something enlightened christian really believe or care about.

[theholodoc]

Dear Ghost.  I am sorry that you are hurting so much over this question of holding clashing beliefs. However, it is evidence that you are taking your life and your living, seriously.  I believe that any human who does take their lives and the operations of their minds seriously does have to wrestle with this very question. If you continue to wrestle with it, you will eventually arrive at a set of beliefs that work for you. I wish you well and applaud your efforts. In the meantime, you might involve your Tulpas in the effort. Dr. Bob

[TB]

"Ugh, Christian afterlife, that's the one you find comfort in?"

 

 

No. I'm sorry if I implied that. I may have as a child before reading the Bible, or at least an incorrect idea of it, but I have very little confidence that Christianity could be true after being exposed to significant portions of the Bible. After being disillusioned with the Bible and Christianity, I still believed in God and the idea of an afterlife, though. I just assumed the Bible was too distorted to be trusted anymore, but the basic premise of God existing and being good was true.

 

 

"I have a secondary set of beliefs (I'm more or less atheist or agnostic) learned from Erin Pavlina's take on New Age Spirituality, which if you're looking for some positive-enforcing, life meaning-giving beliefs/system, I would recommend you look into."

 

 

Thanks, I will try looking at it. It may take me a while to read it all though depending on my attention span. I am not sure the degree I will have confidence what they say is true or not, though.

 

 

"Erin Pavlina's teachings of New Age Spirituality really helped instill some positive thinking in my life when I was otherwise very negative (whilst believing I was "totally logical", I was actually seeing the whole world in a negative light)."

 

 

I also struggle to view world in positive light and without an afterlife things seem even more bleak to me, though I guess it would be either way for me.

 

 

"But for just going through life, I don't really worry about the afterlife and all that. It's completely and utterly irrelevant to your living life."

 

 

A lot of people seem to say this and think this way, but I have never been able to. I've had existential dread of not existing since forever, and I can't cope without knowing that things don't end at death. Being exposed to people who believe we do end, especially so matter of factly, and then realizing that everything about there being an afterlife seems to have been made up or came from dubious sources, has damaged my mind very badly, leaving me going through stages of suppression and then existential dread/depression and back into suppression. It becomes harder and harder to suppress and ignore as time goes by.

 

 

 

"Now mind you, my primary beliefs don't even care if there's an afterlife and assume there's not. I live as a humanitarian whose self-decided purpose is to spread well-being to my fellow humans, to improve the quality of people's lives and to enjoy the time I do have."

 

 

I'm very bad at all these things. It seems the majority of my life I've been very depressed and anxious, and I end up being a helpless drag who is a burden on others. I cause suffering for myself and others. I have tremendous internal conflict that often times feels unworkable, and I recently made poor decisions that I can't begin to describe how awful I feel over. When I said a part of me feels I deserve to go to hell, I didn't necessarily mean Christian hell that god would sentence me to. I don't know what kind of hell may or may not exist, or if going there would just be a natural consequence of my heavy guilt and regret as well as self loathing.

 

 

"Finding a purpose - a logically supported one"

 

 

I'm not sure what you mean by logically supported one. Though I do have issues with finding a purpose. I am incapable of seeing a purpose if all memories are erased at death because it will be as if this life never happened in the first place, and all motivation self destructs at that thought instantly. There is no enjoying things while they are here, or helping others to enjoy things, if it is as if it never happened in the first place after some amount of time.

 

 

"from a higher perspective we're still all One"

 

If I'm not mistaken your secondary beliefs are nondualist and seems to be conclusion of Awakened individuals who've had insight into no-self. I can't comprehend what it means or feels like though, and I can't find comfort in it from my perspective. It seems the same as not existing to me, but spun in a positive way or something? I may misunderstand though, I don't know.

 

 

"I don't think anything you said precludes the existence of a soul."

 

 

I guess I can't say for sure which is why my mind is still trying to figure out how "no-self" and souls existing can be true at the same time, though if I use some self awareness I realize that is kind of contradictory since anatta is literally a belief in there not being a soul.

 

 

"Who knows really. I would think, "Life is pretty meaningless if we don't have a soul" so I can then choose (and I really can choose because it's my mind) that I do have a soul and therefore gain solace from that, but it doesn't have to be actually true for me to gain solace because there's no proving it one way or the other. You're never going to find out if you were right or not as long as you live."

 

 

I literally have never been able to do that and the not knowing is a large part of precisely why it is so painful.

 

 

"Why believe something you would find an antithesis of existence if it bothers you? You're never going to have proof."

 

 

I have strong reasons to believe no-self is true based on the fact it is a consistently achievable realization through Insight from proper and skilled meditation that many people achieve and are currently living in the flow of today and have for thousands of years. I also am aware of models of the mind that are based on that reality, and experientially they seem very true.

 

 

"You're torturing yourself to believe something that pains you when that something has no proof."

 

 

Do you mean no self? I feel there is arguably more proof of it than tulpas, not saying tulpas aren't real, just that a lot of people work on it, experience it and achieve it, like tulpas, and I think more people work on that than people who work on creating tulpas. I've read that original purpose of tulpas were to actually achieve these realizations as well, and based on my recent experiences, I can kind of see why.

 

Unless you mean fear of hell, which I'm sure is still ingrained in me somewhere unconsciously, but I brought it up as more as a way to describe my feelings of unbearable guilt.

 

 

"I believe I have a soul, Misha has a soul, Dashie has a soul, Ashley has a soul, and all the rest of my crew...This is so easy for me because we're all making this conjecture up, it can't be proven."

 

 

I wish perhaps it could be so easy for me, but my brain for some reason literally doesn't work that way. I feel like I try to force calming beliefs on myself and galaxy brain my way out of depressing conclusions, and it eventually breaks off resulting in psychological pain. And my brain interprets issues dealing with the afterlife as being infinitely important literally, so I just can't not care and put it away until death.

 

 

"I only have one point, believe what you want"

 

 

I wish I could do that... I simultaneously can't because my beliefs desperately want to tend towards what seems the most logical and likely based on what I know, but I also currently do not know what I want to believe since if I do have a soul, I feel I've kind of ruined it in this life by this point. Basically everything seems awful and I currently have no peace.

 

 

"Dear Ghost.  I am sorry that you are hurting so much over this question of holding clashing beliefs. However, it is evidence that you are taking your life and your living, seriously.  I believe that any human who does take their lives and the operations of their minds seriously does have to wrestle with this very question. If you continue to wrestle with it, you will eventually arrive at a set of beliefs that work for you. I wish you well and applaud your efforts. In the meantime, you might involve your Tulpas in the effort. Dr. Bob"

 

 

Thanks for your sympathy and encouragement. I hope I can figure out how to do those things.

 

This was a very long reply to try and make. I hope I haven't messed it up.

[Luminesce]

Thanks, I will try looking at it. It may take me a while to read it all though depending on my attention span. I am not sure the degree I will have confidence what they say is true or not, though.

 

By no means do you need to read "all of it", considering there's multiple books' worth of information across all the articles.. Read at your preference. Check what interests you, then if you want to read more, do so, but don't feel pressured to read a ton if you're not interested. As for true or not, I believe there are very valid lessons to be learned from her articles even from an atheistic perspective, which is why despite not necessarily believing in that New Age Spirituality stuff anymore I can still recommend Erin's stuff on good conscience. Though to be fair, if the afterlife/souls/etc. were real, I would put major money on her teachings being the correct ones. They just make the most sense of all spiritual beliefs. "God puts people on the Earth just to suffer and then if they don't happen to become Christian and believe in him because other humans said so with no direct evidence he exists, he sends them to Hell forever" is at the bottom of the list as far as religions that make sense go. Buddhism gets very strange in some places, but aside from the supernatural religious beliefs I do like everything else about it. But yeah, New Age is less of a religion and more of a... very varied-by-person/community bunch of information about how, well, spiritual stuff works. Generally the idea is that we incarnate to experience not knowing everything and understanding everything, to "have fun" learning again, before going back and maybe incarnating again, maybe not.

 

I'm going to link a few articles on death and incarnation - they're all nice so I can't really choose between them. This is a place to start, though Erin covers a lot more than death/incarnation, they're perhaps two of her specialties, and what you seem to be looking for. So give these articles a chance I suppose. They instill quite a helpful view of life...

 

I'm not sure what you mean by logically supported one. Though I do have issues with finding a purpose. I am incapable of seeing a purpose if all memories are erased at death because it will be as if this life never happened in the first place, and all motivation self destructs at that thought instantly. There is no enjoying things while they are here, or helping others to enjoy things, if it is as if it never happened in the first place after some amount of time.

 

"A point in time where nothing we do on Earth will have mattered exists, therefore nothing I do matters. I will sit here and do nothing."

 

And so he sits, while the rest of the humanity continues on, laughing, crying, learning, being together, being apart, having families, growing old, dying happy, feeling good about the years gone by. The one who decided to do nothing dies too, not feeling very fulfilled, now also dead but without a lifetime of cherished experiences. And yes, in 23 billion years the Earth is gone and nothing is left of it.

 

The universe doesn't care what did or didn't happen on an "emotional" level, of course. Actually, the universe doesn't even have the ability to care. Only the humans and living creatures had the ability to "care". They did their caring, lived and enjoyed and suffered, and died. And that's how it went.

 

The problem with your perspective that nothing matters because eventually it won't have mattered, is that the present (and "near" future) do matter right now and to the "near" future too. And something only I seem to understand and accept - that after death, if there is nothing, then you won't be around to be disappointed about it. You'll have lived a worried life of being afraid nothing happens after death, then you'll die. Others will have lived happy lives, not worrying about it (or maybe believing in an afterlife), then they'll also die. If (and I'm not saying it's the case, obviously I don't know, but worst case scenario-) that scenario is correct, then the difference is that you spent your time worried and not enjoying life while others spent their time happy and enjoying life... and that's it.

 

OR, from the perspective Erin's New Age Spirituality presents, you spend your life being worried and then die and in your newly re-enlightened state you think "... Oh, it didn't really matter, did it? I wish I'd worried less and actually had some fun." And then optionally, "Guess I'll go again".

 

But hey, Erin puts it better than I do. Give those articles a read.

[TB]

I'm going to link a few articles on death and incarnation - they're all nice so I can't really choose between them. This is a place to start, though Erin covers a lot more than death/incarnation, they're perhaps two of her specialties, and what you seem to be looking for. So give these articles a chance I suppose. They instill quite a helpful view of life...

 

I've read all you've linked me and some more. I am not sure what exactly to think and will have to process it.

 

"not necessarily believing in that New Age Spirituality stuff anymore"

 

What made you go from believing in it to not believing in it anymore?

 

"Buddhism gets very strange in some places"

 

I agree Buddhism can have strange beliefs in places, but I'm fairly certain the Insights that lead to Awakening, and Awakening itself are true and possible, and there being nothing supernatural about it. I am partly because many people have, and they can also recognize the parts of Buddhism that don't make sense.

 

"...then the difference is that you spent your time worried and not enjoying life while others spent their time happy and enjoying life"

 

I wish I knew how to not worry about it. I don't want to worry about it, but I can't imagine how it isn't an issue for others. And life hasn't been incredibly enjoyable for me. I feel a lot of my life purpose is to draw and express my characters, but having sucked at drawing for 10 years and the desperate and failed attempts to improve throughout it contributed to a tremendous amount of depression, and... Uh... Maybe not appropiate to go on massive rant about my life...  But my current result is being a hopeless shut in. I can't concentrate well right now. I just wish I knew how to express how awful that perspective feels, but for some reason it doesn't affect others the same way. I want to stop having to feel this way so much, but I can't seem to just snap my fingers and stop worrying about it and being okay with not existing. I also can't seem to just snap my fingers and have some kind of knowing that the afterlife exists so everything is okay, or alternatively be in a state of "believing" in one but being okay if wrong.

[Luminesce]

What made you go from believing in it to not believing in it anymore?

 

None of my attempts to get any evidence at all panned out. Never achieved astral projection, never got responses from my spirit guides, just nothing supernatural occurred to me at all. Now, obviously, people report supernatural experiences all the time so I could've just been unlucky or something. I have a good friend who swears they've astral projected and it was nothing like lucid dreaming, so even with my lack of believing in the supernatural I still believe a state of (un)consciousness similar to but different from lucid dreaming exists.. but yeah. Didn't get any proof and, as I've said, I can't really stand believing in things I can't explain or prove. But none of it was really disproven either, and I'd still like to have some backup beliefs just in case meta stuff does occur in my life at some point.

 

Also, your sense of perspective is still warped. Caring about the "temporariness" of your entire lifetime is equivalent to caring about what's going on on the other side of a planet in some random house. It's not your perspective, it's a theoretical one that isn't relevant to you. Get to that place and it'll be relevant - get to that time and it'll be relevant. But I think you'll find there's never a time in your entire life where your life isn't also present. If we can die and still exist in some form, I see no reason we couldn't incarnate again, or even transcend time. Without traditional physicality there's not much in the way of measuring time.

 

How I rationalize not worrying about after-death:

Either 1, nothing happens and I will never experience not being alive, so there's literally no value to worrying about what I cannot possibly experience, or

2, the afterlife exists and is set up in such a way as to handle "death", either with reincarnation or otherwise "moving on" to some other state. That one is far outside of my means of knowing or doing anything about, so it's also nearly irrelevant to my life - best guesses about afterlife stuff however say that in most cases (most religious/spiritual beliefs) I'll fare fine if I just do the best I can to live a life of helping people and improving myself.

 

Worrying about what you can't change, or about what's permanently irrelevant to you, is a philosophical trap and complete waste of time. You can tell me "But I worry about it anyways", and I'll tell you "Well you shouldn't anyways". I can't logically do anything about your worrying if your worrying defies logic, at that point it takes like therapy-type methods to have a greater effect on your overall mindset, and that's far from what I specialize in. I'm just good at cold hard logic. Consider seeing a therapist or someone who specializes in dealing with mental goings-on with more tact, maybe?

[TB]

Consider seeing a therapist or someone who specializes in dealing with mental goings-on with more tact, maybe?

 

I've never seen a helpful therapist. I currently see one, but I feel totally unhelped by them... You've said way more thoughtful things about the afterlife than any therapist ever has to me. I don't know where to go to find someone who deals with it with more tact.

 

Though I still can't help but have a warped perspective. It just makes me feel dread knowing it will happen and I don't know when. I guess another reason besides meaninglessness that makes me upset, is that I really do not like myself, so have always wanted to make it to afterlife where I could hopefully be something different, so I don't have to be so disappointed with myself now and this life. I really don't want to be this for the rest of my life then nothing. I say I hope for an afterlife, but really my "belief" in afterlife I've held for comfort has been comparatively very specific to point of wishful thinking, but looking forward to it would make me happy. I wish I could go back to it being the assumed default of my mind, not destroyed by doubt, and it be true.

[GrayTheCat]

I have built my belief system on my own, choosing not to accept Christianity but dissatisfied and spiritually starved with the idea of Atheism.

 

I believe in Gaia, the soul of the Earth. All souls on Earth are just an extension of Earth's soul. I also believe that souls don't operate in the material world except for influencing it.

 

My original idea I came up with as a kid was proven wrong to me via Tulpamancy: I thought I was a soul where I had a "subconscious", the body had it's own soul, etc. Turns out all of those extra parts were Tulpas. Now I believe everyone in my system has their own soul.

 

We can't switch yet, but I have thought about the whole "the body is a tool" mindset for awhile. I never considered it to challenge my views other than re-enforce them- I always assumed that the body existed in a "layer" of reality and the body was in fact machinery, but not in the way I previously imagined.

 

I decided that I'll leave the door open for God and at least assume They can exist, but going through logical experiments with how God works like Luminesce did, I decided it's my job to help other people and spread good and any God that says boo to that is a stupid God.

 

I suppose one problem is I considered God to be an outsider who can do cool stuff where the real soul stuff is happening with Gaia. I never considered Gaia a ruler as much as a collection of souls that exists though. As for heaven and hell, I figured that the soul is going to do what it wants and after spending time in heaven/hell it decides to move on and re-incarnate.