Is it okay to make a tulpa even though I'm suicidal?

[Ranger]

As long as you want your tulpa, the initial reasons for wanting one doesn't really matter. All reasons for tulpa creation are selfish in nature and if the host doesn't want their tulpa, resolving the problem will fuel a want for dissipation. If you didn't have depression, had friends, and didn't need to escape, would you still want your tulpa?

 

To suggest someone with depression shouldn't make a tulpa feels deeply hypocritical. A lot of tulpamancers struggle with depression, and I know a few systems who attempted to commit suicide. While I think it's a fair point that bringing a tulpa into this environment isn't a good thing, I think it's worse to assume a tulpa can fix your problems. Additionally, some tulpas are responsible for helping their hosts cope or even overcome depression. Especially if the depression is treated, I don't think it's immoral to create a tulpa.

 

For your depression and desire to escape, I highly recommend you see a medical professional and seek a medical safety net. A tulpa can't replace or substitute a therapist or anti-depressants. If treated, you're less likely to run into as many issues with intrusive thoughts and may have more resources and tools to cope. Tulpamancy and mental health don't blend well together, but those challenges can be overcome if you have a safety net in place.

 

---

 

I agree with what others have said on perma-switching: there are better alternatives, the tulpa left will have to cope with your environment and the loss of their host, and perma-switching doesn't usually work. I have only met a few tulpas who claim they lost their host. I don't remember them saying they grieved for their host, but I don't think they thought highly of them either. Additionally, the tulpa sometimes wants to create another tulpa. In general, headmates using switching to cope with depression with the host present or not creates a dangerous cycle: Headmates creating new headmates and creating a huge system to squeeze out what limited relief they can get from switching. Long-term, that little bit of relief wanes, and in one system I saw it create over 1,000 headmates. I think all it does is serve as a red flag that system needs help. Hopefully, a system can seek help before getting to that point.

 

On the other hand, I don't think it's wrong for a host to take the back seat if their tulpa enjoys or wants to front. The important thing would be to not pressure your tulpa to possess or switch and to give them the chance to be comfortable with who they are first. I don't recommend a tulpa younger than 6 months switches, but that's a suggestion and not a hard rule. I think it's wrong for a host to drop out, it can help a lot just being a cheerleader.

Edited August 9, 2021 by Ranger

[mattx]

I'm sorry but reading through the OP you have all the wrong reasons and ideas about this.

 

Seek professional help.

[Ice909]

Cool it, Matt. They're misguided in some parts but I don't think this discussion is as simple as "no, seek help." 

 

It should be no surprise by now that tulpas have been known to help their hosts through depression and such. It should also be no surprise that permaswitching is a bad idea. Permaswitching is comparable to hiring an intern that has no prior field experience, pointing to a stack of papers and a calender marked with meeting times and dates and saying "Get started," before leaving the company and moving to a remote island. You're putting someone who is completely new to, in this case, life itself, in a position where they're expected to continue all the duties the host had with a smile on their face. Who in their right mind would agree to that? 

 

But that's the thing-- If you're making a tulpa with the intention of permaswitching, they don't have a choice. Going back to the above analogy, if the intern decides to bring on someone else and does the same thing their boss did, it has officially become a cycle. Posters above me have pointed out how tulpas can make tulpas to permaswitch with, trying to eek out every atom of relief. But the thing is, that's a house of cards trying to stand up in a hurricane; falling apart since the moment it was created. Why? Because it's a shitty idea that perpetuates a cycle of handing off responsibility with no one ever stepping up to the plate. 

 

I might've lost you there, but I believe you get the picture here. In case you haven't, let me spell it out, clear as day: Permaswitching to cope with depression is one of the scummiest things you can do. 

 

On the note of creating a tulpa as a companion as opposed to the ultimate goal being permaswitching, I think that's much healthier. As previously mentioned, tulpas can help significantly with depression. It's not a guarantee, of course, nothing ever is. But if you truly feel like you're doing this for the right reasons, and not just to run away from your life and responsibilities, I'd say, why the hell not? Of course, you should still not take this is a light decision, but don't let that deter you. Everyone here is willing to help you, even when shit hits the fan. Hopefully I helped a bit, and with that, I bid you adieu. 

 

-Bryan, Host of System Re:Body 

[Lucilyn]

I always agree with seeing a professional when you have serious problems in life, though

finding a (good, 'cus sometimes they're bad) therapist and creating a tulpa aren't mutually exclusive, but yeah I would only recommend making a tulpa for life companionship and not to force them to live your life for you

 

I'm not entirely sure whether just having a tulpa can help someone with gender dysphoria work through it, but I feel like maybe? we're the exact opposite though where our host has no dysphoria and we don't identify with the body's gender (but that's fine, we're okay just using a male body), I have no idea what it would be like if the tulpa did identify with the body while the host didn't, but I still feel like it would start to lessen how upset you were about it over time.. maybe... ... if therapy doesn't help

[Ice909]

Apologies, I should have specified. Get help if you have serious problems in life. Duh. That's a given. My point was more so that you shouldn't write off the entire question with that band-aid of a response. 

[Cordyceps Canine]

My tulpa happened on accident. I was young, childhood was a mess and I was suicidal. Having Cletus by my side was a huge help and even now years later I still have tons of issues because they never got resolved. He doesn't resent me for this, for having put him in a place where he pretty much is in charge of what I would call my personal hell. 

His personality is exactly what it needs to be for him to deal with this stuff. 

 

And he still helps me out. Sometimes even preventing me from trying to think about the past because he's worried it's too much for me. 

 

But: Cletus started as a plush dog. And I didn't make him a tulpa intentionally. So I have no experience on actually actively creating one. 

 

Permanently switching sounds incredibly bad though. Don't think about stuff like this. Life is a mess sometimes, but don't erase yourself mentally. (If that's even possible.) 

[lonely-in-wonderland]

First of all, I am sorry to hear the OP is suffering from suicidal tendencies.  It must have taken an incredible amount of pain to reach that point.  I do hope things are improving and you haven't given up hope of getting to a better place in life.

 

Having just discovered this board and browsed through a number of articles, I'm shocked by the sheer number of desperately lonely, depressed people who are convinced that making up an imaginary friend they talk to telepathically is a genuine solution to their problems.  A person in that position should be spending their time getting out and meeting people, finding meaningful work, and resolving the difficulties that have led them to such a low and lonely place.  A good therapist doesn't hurt.

 

I believe the pandemic has isolated us all and worsened depression and anxiety for many, leaving us vulnerable to a form of escapism which preys on the unfulfilled need for companionship.  With depression, it is essential to not waste time in addressing any unmet needs (for example, the need for social support, or freedom from unhealthy dependencies).  Encouraging anyone in such a dire situation to spend many hours interacting with an imaginary being, and in some cases even setting them up for guilt and shame when they can't meet their goals, is irresponsible and harmful.  I am not saying this is the case for you, OP, only sharing my observations.

 

I understand there are those here who are simply interested in the idea of the tulpa, and some who believe it is truly beneficial.  I wish only relief for everyone struggling with depression, suicide, or loneliness, and those real-world problems will never be solved until unhealthy coping mechanisms are replaced with healthy, fulfilling ones.

 

You all sound like such incredibly creative and introspective people.  Hoping you all find love, peace, and happiness in your lives.

 

L.e.o

[Glaurung26]

Yea me being a scared little introvert of a tweenager probably didn't help things. I guess I wanted someone who I felt safe with who would be honest with me and not judge me. Some folks just have a hard time reaching out. Forming bonds with strangers and introducing unknown, uncontrolled factors in their lives can be terrifying. I was lucky to break out of my shell in college but many people just want to be by themselves. Or keep a small tightnit group. Just speculating from experience, most people are well served by stepping outside their comfort zone to connect with fellow humans, but #notall. Tulpas and similar headmates are indispensable. 

[Ranger]

I decided to create a new thread on the pros and cons on tulpa creation in response to the more recent posts.