I guess I’m back.

[FiveFiction]

11 hours ago, FiveFiction said:

I don’t intend to post here daily

 

 

just wanted to jot down some updates today:

 

on the way home from work I shuffled through my Spotify library and would ask her what she thought of each song. She gave some 1-3 word answers, sometimes just jumbled “tulpish” that I couldn’t decipher, but I felt a VERY strong love for Its All Been Done by the Barenaked Ladies.
 

Which is funny to me because I didn’t even know it was in my library, nor do I really care for that song, but she gave some very strong feelings towards it. Like…I haven’t even worked on visualization or a form whatsoever and could ‘feel’ her dancing to it. Mentally. somehow. No complaints here. 

That and the song Plush (Acoustic) by Stone Temple Pilots. I even tried to skip that one but heard a strong “NOOO” from the back of my mind. It seems like she likes folksy happy songs. 
 

But she doesn’t care for Pearl Jam, it’s so joever…

 

just thought it was a cute thing to share. Goodnight yall

Edited August 26, 2025 by FiveFiction

[FiveFiction]

Been struggling with focus the last couple days, especially narrating to someone I can’t really “picture”, so I tried some basic imposition. I didn’t ‘establish’ a defined form or anything - just ‘placed’ her around me irl whenever I wanted to talk. A form seems to be shaping itself/herself though, but there’s no details at all, just a vague shape. Which was kind of my goal: letting her make a form for herself and just allowing my mind to ‘pick up’ on whatever forms. She has a vague blob ‘shape’ that just hangs out as we listen to music and try to have conversations. It’s shaped like a person but just with no clear or defined edges. 
 

Kinda reminded me of the Dr Manhattan origin scenes from Watchmen when he’d show up as a nervous system…made me laugh.
 

Her music taste is surprising me: it’s mostly folk music, acoustic guitar (“unplugged” performances), or really groovy upbeat songs. Whereas my taste is pretty much just hard af rock. 

 

Sooo yeah it looks like we found a nice rhythm: she chills in my passenger seat on long drives for work, we talk about songs as they come on the radio, occasionally it feels like she dances a bit to songs she really likes. Theres a renaissance fair this weekend and I’m thinking of going mainly to see if there’s some live folk music for her. Also mead is amazing so I’m looking forward to that lol

 

Im pretty ass at narration because I run out of shit to talk about - I’m normally a pretty quiet person. This music thing seems to help.

[FiveFiction]

Damn, I really can’t maintain consistency to save my ass. Should probably work on that.
 

Continued chillin’ with Candace for another few weeks, eventually watching her form settle into a picture of Holo I found online around then (she really liked the hair, I’ll upload the pic), but then life happened, as usual. From family visiting for a whole month, me losing my job, a family member being hospitalized (they’re okay thankfully), panicked job apps as I watched my savings drain to a new car payment (RIP ol’ reliable dying at 80K miles), and of course some good old bouts of extreme depression, but now finally life seems to be stable again. I was too overly stressed and busy for tulpa stuff for those months but decided to pick it back up now that I got a new job and have a routine to life again. 
 

And apparently it’s like we never even stopped, only a few days in and we’re pretty much back to business as usual. Been talking to my ‘passenger princess’ on my work commute for the last few days again as my body adjusts to the new hours. Been so exhausted after the shift that I can barely move though, so we just cuddle and watch silly YouTube videos after work. Her form’s a little different than it was months ago, which is really uncanny as I didn’t really have a part in that, but essentially we started right back where we left off progress wise. Also I’ve been getting hella emotion-feels around the name Sabrina when talking to her so idk at this point I guess we’re calling her Sabrina. I personally find this kind of funny since I actually have always hated that name and never have used it for any characters in my decades of writing. Don't even know why, I just never liked the name for some reason. One of these days I should get my head checked.
 

Her ‘presence’ that I feel when I focus on her while talking or imposing is very strong, stronger than it was all those months ago too. But yeah, still just ‘free ballin’ the process and just letting stuff happen on its own here explicitly avoiding the mysticism of guides to just have fun developing her through casual (and consistent I swear to god) hanging out together. 

But I did have two interesting moments I wanted to document here.
 

First: Audible voice. 

Two nights ago I woke up in the middle of the night and was in that groggy half asleep state (oh boy…) when I absent mindedly rolled over and just kinda mumbled “what time is it? Fuck it I’m goin back to sleep” and I heard her say something out loud. I don’t remember what she said but I do remember it wasn’t grammatically correct lol but still, that’s the clearest I’ve EVER heard any tulpa (or ANYTHING from my ‘haunted’ days) say something. usually it’s just a really clear mind voice, this was AUDIBLE speech. I actually looked around for a second trying to find the source of the voice, like someone was in my room. I’ve had random ‘blurbs’ of auditory hallucinations in this half asleep state dozens of times in my life but never even close to this audible. I don’t know how else to put it but it was clearly not a mind voice - I heard it with my ears. Kind of like that high-pitched whine your ears do occasionally, where it’s entirely audible and clearly a noise yet has no actual direction to it. Fuckin vivid. Fell back asleep immediately though. I’m blaming hypnagogic state giving my brain a ‘boost’ or some shit but I very strongly felt her presence as she said it too. That was truly astounding and gives my cynical ass hope. Gonna try talking to her more often as I normally wake up throughout the night (being older sucks lol).

 

Second: Independent Movement

(Technically Passenger moved on her own, but I’m still convinced that wasn’t ‘mine’. That more lined up with a walk-in than a purposefully created tulpa or cobud, and still hasn’t returned. So I’m just calling that one a one-off oddity of life - some unexplainable event that just happened entirely outside of my influence. Just wanted to clarify that Passenger was much closer to my experiences of being haunted than experiences trying to make a tulpa, tbh I kinda wish I could delete the posts about it since it’s not really relevant anymore but meh whatever.) 

Since I’m again basically free wheelin’ my own process here, I just impose her as often as I can and talk to her as much as possible. No wonderland (that I know of), she just kinda sits in ‘backseat’ of my mind when not imposed just chillin and watching my day. That’s pretty much it - no set or regimented process aside from just hanging out with her as much as I can squeeze into life. Anyway, I was doomscrolling this morning on my day off and imposing her next to me in bed as I was deciding wtf to do today, when she suddenly moved on her own. Up until this point she hasn’t really ‘started’ movement on her own, I usually kinda ‘nudge’ her (also removed the term parroting and puppeting from my vocab entirely to avoid subconscious worries and doubts, truly free-wheeling this) and then she’ll walk around or sit on a table and hang out or whatever, but I was actually 100% spacing out and not paying attention to her for a few seconds because the video snagged my attention when she suddenly rolled over and looked at what I was doomscrolling through. 
 

She actually startled me and made me jump lol good shit. I think what glitch said might have some merit to it. I may barely remember my other tulpas’ development from years and years ago but she definitely has some ‘alien’/otherworldly presence that is eerily clear as day. Thank fuck it doesn’t feel like my experiences with haunted shit, but it’s still a very distinct presence. 
 

on a last note, imposition sucks. While her form is definitely different from months ago it also doesn’t seem to ‘stick’ as far as small details. For example, she’s still going with an anime foxgirl kind of thing for now just with a different ‘art style’ and hair color, but sometimes she just straight up doesn’t have ears and a tail. And sometimes she does. Not a big deal to me, it’s just a form anyways.

 

But I’m also testing out a new method of imposition that is less visual and more ‘on the fly’ if that makes any sense. I’m basically visually imposing her like normal but letting the details and such be automatically filled in subconsciously, which is actually working better. I figure if the eyes and visual centers of the brain are a majority of the time ‘making up’ data, such as hiding your nose or retina’s blind spot, it can play catch-up with little details while I mainly focus on clarity of the ‘big picture’. It’s working smoothly so far - like now as she’s chillin next to me as I write this I’m not focusing on every strand of her hair or something like that, just the rough overall form at once. And the little things actually fill in themselves. Shits neat. I still awkwardly stare at her and try to ‘bake in’ the details every now and then though, but she seems weirded out by it. As am I.

 

I’ll include some pics of what her form looked like from when she went by Candace months ago (basically Holo from Spice and Wolf, but oddly enough exactly that art style as the image) and now what she looks like with her own form. I couldn’t find any good anime art that matched so I just used AI and brute forced it until it matched as closely as I could get it to. 
 

I just think it’s neat how she changed her own form but still is some anime fox girl thing. How fuckin long is this post? Anyway yeah. Here’s those ‘before and after’ pics. 

Edited February 21 by FiveFiction
Holy fuck my grammar is awful

[FiveFiction]

Really not trying to be posting here on the daily, just here and there as interesting things pop up and also mainly just so I can have something to use for own documentation since my memory is worse than a goldfish (seriously), however…

 

Was doing some ‘active’ forcing earlier, deciding to work on voice and such. While I can hear Sabrina’s voice occasionally in the form of quick 1-3 word replies or jumbled sentences (as a longer reply devolves into nonsensical word salad), I figured it would be a good idea to dedicate some more focused time on it - mainly differentiating her voice from my own mind voice and more clearly separating her speech from my own. Her ‘presence’ in my mind is oddly enough locational (up-right, hilariously referencing a dodgy NLP concept) and that seems to help me focus on her. From my shitty memory, I think this is basically as far as I ever got with my earlier attempts at tulpas as a teenager: word soup and refined Tulpish.
 

So we tried something simple: I say some random words or a short sentence and then she repeats it, while I try to listen intently for her voice in my head. It was rocky, to be blunt, with hardly any progress. I would ask her to just repeat what I say i.e. “the sky is blue”, “the quick brown fox”, “kill John Lennon” etc, and then try to ‘quiet my mind’ to more easily pick out her voice from my mess of internal thoughts. Best I got was a word or two every 4-5 attempts with the ‘failures’ being me just hearing nothing or feeling a slight emotional ‘wave’ with no discernible words or meaning to it. Like I could ‘feel’ her thinking/trying to speak (or I’m just bad at listening). We tried that for a while, then I just started getting a headache. Yay headaches. 
 

So after like 20 minutes of this method I took a break to mentally ‘reset’ and just relax and more casually chat to her, less “drilled-in focus” and more casual chitchat…and she was suddenly extremely talkative, sometimes even talking over me as I narrated about life and my plans for tomorrow. Still not getting more than a few words in before it jumbles to mishmash soup, but her replies are nearly constant. Jarring, even. But awesome! She clearly wants to talk a lot but either she’s unable to clearly articulate beyond a few words or my brain just can’t handle being fried by all her words. Or both. Or neither, I really have no idea what I’m doing. 
 

And upon my trying to ‘pinpoint’ the location of her mindvoice I really can’t - it’s just so sudden and blatant. My intrusive thoughts at least almost always have a ‘direction’ they come from, but not her speech. She’s just blam front and center. Neat. Sidenote: I’ve always thought it strange how some thoughts seem to come from certain directions with some degree of repeatability. No idea how the fuck to research that though. Directional thoughts? Spatial? Ugh.

 

Anyway, just thought it was interesting and worth jotting down here how my mentally “letting go” from focusing so hard on listening to her actually ended up helping me hear her better. Goodnight yall, I gotta sleep. 

Edited February 23 by FiveFiction
It wouldn’t be a fourfiction post without being edited

[FiveFiction]

I guess I am posting daily for a while. 
 

One thing of note has appeared: headpressures. 
 

In my extremely exhausted state because of my new job’s hours and the hella physical job itself, most of my tulpaforcing lately has been in a fairly exhausted state both mentally and physically. Something funny I noticed is when I narrate on my commute or while at work, I start by calling out to Sabrina by name - mainly just to help me focus. But my lack of sleep leads to me just calling her anything that starts with an S before I realize it a few words later and apologize. I catch myself mumbling shit like ‘hey Starship’, Space Cowboy, Spider-Man, Springdale, Serendipity, etc.

 

She laughs at it occasionally, as do I. Tired brain sucks. But I think we also somehow hit a ‘critical mass’ point in development: multiple word responses and headpressures. 
 

this morning I was half awake and just started narrating by saying her name repeatedly and it just ended up being exactly this skit:
 

And I was responded to with massive headpressures that were so intense I actually got vertigo. Neat. That’s actually been pretty consistent throughout today whenever I focus on her intently, such as narrating while working or on a break. Doesn’t seem to be a negative emotion to it, just a very strong presence. I hate to use computers as an analogy but it reminds me of my PC’s cooling fan temporarily trying to send my tower to orbit for a few seconds whenever I open a graphically demanding game. 
 

But the real weird thing happened on my drive home from work this afternoon. I was chatting about how tired and exhausted I was, planning to shower and eat as soon as I get home so I can sooner rest and relax for tomorrow’s workday, when she piped up and said “want me to take over?”. I basically stammered a “uh yeah no I’m good” and was kinda blown away by that. 
 

just figured I would document it. 

[Mai_x_v3]

You're making really good progress so far! I enjoy reading your reports so far, it seems your making good progress and such. Your Tulpa is super adorable! Also relatable with the memory part not gonna lie lol xD

 

I hope you feel better soon it sucks when exhaustion hits. Just make sure to rest when needed good luck with your Tulpa forcing you got this! 💘💞🩷💕

[KarlYoshimura]

Hell yeah welcome back.

Word on the street is that if you eat sugar, tulpa-related head pressures will go away. We all drank the shit out of orange juice back in the day but the sneaky fuckers on Discord have since suggested a piece of candy. However the order of magnitude you've communicated is concerning - have you consulted your physician? It might actually be vertigo or even vestibular in nature.

[FiveFiction]

Thanks Mai. And Yoshimura, I actually enjoy the headpressures as they help alleviate doubts lol but I remember the OJ craze as well as the cold shower posts. If it gets bad enough to be a detriment to my life I’ll obviously have it looked at, but as of now it only occurs rarely and is kinda neat so I’m enjoying it. 
 

I guess I might as well do a quick update too:

My ‘passenger princess’ is starting to like rock music more on my morning commute, and even chanted out the lyrics to Warning (Green Day) with me once lmao so that was something to behold. Having an anime girl in my passenger seat aggressively chanting “MAY IMPAIR YOUR ABILITY TO OPERATE MACHINERY” made me actually laugh out loud. She’s gonna make me wreck my damn car. 

 

A benefit of a physical “fuck your body” type of job with a god-awful schedule to boot is lots of sleep deprivation and hypnagogic experiences. Had another out of the blue thing where she spoke extraordinarily clearly as I was about to fall asleep last night, but the voice was different. Definitely was her, as in those states I can feel her talking, but she sounded more girly. Strange but I see it as a deviation of her own so let’s see where it goes. Hypnagogia is a blast when it’s not scary shit tbh

 

oh, I guess a third thing to note is her ‘presence’ if that’s the right word. At some point yesterday I sorta had an epiphany moment and mentally phased out when thinking of her. For a few seconds her presence wasn’t technically any stronger in my mind, but it was perfectly crystal clear if that makes any sense. I was mulling over how exactly I focus when I focus on her for narration and such when I tried shifting to a more subtle focus as compared to a more “stare into the future” level of focus and must’ve hit a sweet spot (take a shot every time I said ‘focus’) because for a good handful of seconds her presence was as real and obviously right fucking there as a real person. Just in my head. Like I said, surreal. 

 

I was kinda overwhelmed and too in shock of it to think of talking to her in that clarity state (dumbass!), and it faded away in only seconds, but since then I’ve been trying to remind myself to have that more “loose” concentration as opposed to my old method of “make a cat explode with my mind” kind of concentration. And it’s working a little better so far - she talks more, I can hear more of her speech before it garbles (5-7ish words now), and she is surprising me while imposed more often. Like last night I was just narrating to her in my head when she ‘summoned’ herself to relax next to me. No complaints. 
 

So yeah - fine tuning my focus here is the new hyperfixation. 

[Lucilyn]

not long until she's asking "Did you remember to pay the utility?"

[FiveFiction]

On 2/26/2026 at 6:57 PM, Lucilyn said:

not long until she's asking "Did you remember to pay the utility?"

I can’t wait. Green Day was a formative part of my musical taste growing up lol their songs practically taught me guitar 
 

Not much to jot down from the weekend. Went to a local park for a hike and tried to impose Sabrina for visualization practice and let her explore the trail but she didn’t seem to be in the mood because she kept vanishing lol. She has also figured out that being non-physical means she can disregard physics, such as wandering around the outside of my car while I’m flying down the highway or standing on the underside of tree branches. Or sitting on my shoulder like a parrot. 

 

At one point she told me that visualization was ‘more for me than her’ - so she didn’t really feel the need for it personally. She seems to prefer experiencing the world through my senses, as I can heavily feel her watching through my own eyes sometimes when I’m talking to her or paying attention to her. She straight up hijacked my vision at work today during a mindless repetitive job, that was a wild experience - basically had a fisheye lens for a few seconds while I FELT her intensely watching through my vision.
 

To piggyback off that, she also randomly picks different forms sometimes which is amusing to see, such as random anime designs or just amorphous shapes. Yesterday I was browsing safebooru out of curiosity to see if any characters out there have her same design and she ‘tested’ some out entirely on her own - such as Yukino from Blue Archive - for a few minutes. Full tactical gear and rifle lol maybe I should take her to the range this week. She occasionally uses a form I haven’t seen before, so I’m rolling with that being her preference for now. She’s relaxing next to me in this form right now, but it’s hard for me to pull out details. My visualization ain’t like it used to be. So yeah I think she’s just experimenting and testing things out herself in that regard. 

 

She’s actually been less vocal the last few days, but I’m still chatting with her daily. If I had to guess it’s because I hardly did any personality work, since she doesn’t seem to have very strong opinions on much besides music. She still likes softer rock than I prefer, like Weezer (she doesn’t like Breaking Benjamin or Chevelle wngmi). She’s been using emotional communication much more than mindvoice lately, but hey it’s still communication. Not gonna do any personality ‘forcing’ since she’s somewhat talkative already and I don’t feel like piling personality traits on her at this point. 

 

Besides that, I’m just still talking to her. Asking questions about her likes/dislikes, opinions, etc to try and coax her to develop her personality further. Still working on ‘feeling’ her as a separate consciousness in my head but that’s been going surprisingly well, if really slowly. Also noticing that I lose focus on her while narrating easily, so I gotta work on that. There is a definite feeling to focusing on her while talking vs just talking to myself - which is hella neat.

Edited March 2 by FiveFiction