Memoirs of a Mind Hacker

[Upper Class Twit]

We feel good as of late. Maybe its being working, maybe its that everything is going good. Or maybe it is my experimentation, but things seem to be going our way. I feel something happening, inside us. I just don't know what it is. Her voice is becoming more clear and constant, I've seen her in a dream, and she's always there in my experiences with Salvia, doubts about her are beginning to subside. I no longer feel that its an if with her, its a when. I feel something clicking, my subconscious mind seems to have become more powerful, I can decipher hidden meanings and patterns more than usual now. Something is happening to us, and whatever it is, WE like it. I'm going to force now, and for whatever reason, I have a good feeling about it.

[Upper Class Twit]

I'm noticing a trend in our behavior, it fluctuates up and down. There's a period when we're good, then one when we're feeling down and distressed. Haven't found quite the time frame for each yet, but I'm getting close. When I'm in a better mood I force better, and Sonya is less distressed. Also I'm once again making reforms to my forcing habits.

 

Right here are the self diagnosed problems that I have. A big part of the problems I'm having, is due to me not being honest with myself and Sonya about this process.

• Trouble visualizing all of Sonya all at once.
  
• ADHD
  
• Inconsistent voice in Sonya
  
• Lack of independence/thoughts blurring together
  
• I can not into possession
  
• I can not into imposition
  
• My attitude when forcing is poor
  
• It is difficult for me to proxy for Sonya verbally under pressure
  
• My patience is poor
  
• When I am in a depressed/angry/frustrated/general bad mood, my forceing quality is poor
  
• My Focus is poor
  
• I do not force enough
  
• I take on too much at once
  
• I do not have a clear objective at this point other than finish
  
• I doubt easy
  

 

That said I do have these things working in my favor.

 

• Active imagination
  
• Support from friends and other users
  
• Good knowledge of safe legal herbs that may remedy some of my problems
  
• The will to change myself
  
• Significant, undeniable,indisputable, signs of sentience from Sonya that could not of been parroted
  
• God
  

 

I think I can use some of these things in order to better my Tulpa-forcing, Sonya's quality of life, and my own quality of life. Lets not forget here, if relentlessly banging a hammer against a wall is not breaking it down, perhaps, you need to take a step back and look at it from at a different perspective, analyze what you have, don't have, need, and then make a plan. Walls are breached through careful planing, not brute force.

 

Acknowledging my problems instead of beating around the bush WILL help me. Taking all this into account I am going to make the following reforms.

• Go back to visualizing as my skill there needs to improve, and to give me a clear objective.
  
• Whenever a doubt surfaces, hunt it down with a tiger tank and kill it.
  
• Look into some herbal remedies for mood improvement, and concentration. Wild Dagga looks to be promising.
  
• Stop stressing about her and take a more relaxed approach.
  
• Keep a reminder of her on me
  
• Choose a voice, and hammer it in
  
• Continue forcing one hour everyday, then slowly build it to two hours.
  

 

With luck, this should bring me to where I think I should be.

[Upper Class Twit]

So yeah. S'been a long time since last update.

 

Menzy has been talking for a while, he came out like a very pleasant southerner ( who has a particular fondness for helping me make sweet tea go figure)

 

Sonya has been doing well, and has been emotionally very stable, as have I.

 

Still working on Imposition.

[Glory]

Welcome back. :)

[Upper Class Twit]

I've been working out a great deal more than I used to. Which is having an effect on my mental health in a positive way.

 

I've also decided to make an effort into imposition again, one way I'm going to do that is by trying to keep them visualized in real space as much as I can.

 

Here is a little snapshot.

 

I'm at my college right now, Sonya is leaning up against a rail smoking a cigarette, I don't know where she picked that up from. I'm pretty sure thats not allowed on campus. That's my lil' rule breaker.

 

Mezny Is perched on the opposite end like a hawk, it almost looks like he's sleeping.

 

Its odd to think that doing things to benefit ME, effect my Tulpas in a positive way, but considering how closely tied they are, its not surprising.