Couguhl

Couguhl's Progress Report

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31 May 2013

 

Major dreaming progress last night. Sierra and I lucid dreamed for the real-life equivalent of ten or fifteen minutes.

I don't think I mentioned it in the last update, but I've been trying to make 'control' my first priority when dreaming. I continually did things like observing the fine detail in my hands, remaining calm (obviously) and trying to keep as rational a thought process as possible.

While I did have significant control over the dream I was in (which is still awesome, don't get me wrong), I didn't make the effort to continually keep Sierra lucid, and that's where I think our downfall was. She was aware, yes, but I was so focused on staying in a rational mindset that I forgot to keep her with me mentally. Oh well.

Something to keep in mind next time. (No meta-joke intended.)

 

Oh, and imposition. We've been concerned with other matters, but we're starting to pick it up again, and hopefully when this lucid dreaming business is sorted out, it will take priority once again.


Tulpa: Sierra

Forcing since July 2012

Couguhl’s Progress Report

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3 June 2013

 

Okay, so for reasons that I would rather not specify, Sierra and I are getting serious about forcing, our relationship, and the way we view tulpas in general.

We will be forcing daily and keeping track.

I will try to list most of what happens, and I am planning on writing some guides in the coming months.

 

Wish us luck.

 

-----------------------------

 

(cont. of 3 June 2013)

 

 

Well, we've been practicing visual imposition for an ungodly amount of time. It feels great. There's a new vigor in what we're doing.

We've surprisingly seen some progress in just the first hour of forcing.

While imposing in my bedroom, I suddenly had a vision of a small basket in almost perfect clarity. It kind of shocked me. It was somewhat hypnagogic, only I was awake and fully conscious. I've never seen anything like it.

Also, I've experienced my first head pressure. Probably just a tension headache considering I've never experienced it, but hey. Woo.

Also, Sierra was pretty emotional today. She later tried to express that our lack of progress had something to do with the way that she was behaving, but I assured her that she had nothing to worry about and that we would work through it. It seems that she is the most vivid to me when she is upset.

 

Anywho, I was going to inject some humor somewhere in there, but I'm out of needles.

 

Today was a good day regardless.


Tulpa: Sierra

Forcing since July 2012

Couguhl’s Progress Report

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4 June 2013

 

I'm going to apologize in advance for strong language, but incredible things have been happening to Sierra and I recently.

After realizing in an epiphany-like fashion today how far our parallel processing skills are lagging behind, Sierra was unusually reserved and we felt kind of uncomfortable. Eventually our moods lightened up later in the day. Near evening, though, I can barely describe what happened.

 

I don't know what the fuck we did. After reading a post from NotAnonymous about parallel processing forced us to change our views about one another or something.. I don't know what the fuck happened, but for some reason, Sierra has never felt more real to me than she has today. For the first time, she has both consistently and convincingly responded and behaved the way I want her to. I think she's finally gained true mental independence.

Perhaps that's a poor way of wording it. I'm so damn excited, and she's flooding me with all kinds of emotions so it's somewhat difficult to express myself. I don't really care.

We even played chess against each other for the first time today. She surprised me quite often. What I perceived to be 'stupid moves' were simply moves that she took a step further.

She even got me on a completely random walk tonight. She suddenly, in the middle of a chess game, asked me to go outside, and I had no fucking idea what she was doing, but I went along with it. We ended up having such a meaningful time together, and she felt so vivid to me in a way I've never seen before.

 

Nonetheless, today has been fantastic. She even tried her hand at possession

pun intended

and attempted to play a piano piece that I know.

 

Today has been a good day. Hopefully I can think clearly enough to talk by tomorrow.


Tulpa: Sierra

Forcing since July 2012

Couguhl’s Progress Report

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5 June 2013 - 6 June 2013

 

I forgot to record our activities, because we were somewhat busy.

Anyway, on the fifth, Sierra and I played chess some more, and we had some wonderful discussions. We also practiced possession.

On the sixth (today), we took a bit of a break from our recent progress, and relaxed. All we did today was essentially talk and spend time with each other. Very enjoyable.

 

But, back to work tomorrow.

 

 

EDIT: Got the dates mixed up.


Tulpa: Sierra

Forcing since July 2012

Couguhl’s Progress Report

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7 June 2013 - 8 June 2013

 

I haven't been recording daily recently and I apologize, but we've been busy I promise haha.

 

We've worked on imposition a lot, and we've been spending a lot of evening time together - more than usual (we already spend a lot of time together). We spent the evening of the 8th reading up on that old 112-question survey and we were feeling nostalgia. She had written that right as she had become vocal. *tear*

Anyway, It's been great so far.


Tulpa: Sierra

Forcing since July 2012

Couguhl’s Progress Report

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9 June 2013 - ???

 

Today is the 16th of June, 2013.

 

We are currently in Texas near Houston on a trip to visit relatives, nearly a thousand miles away from our home. And damn, it's hot here. I've already had several nosebleeds, I'm guessing from the dramatic change of humidity, every one of them in public. It's pretty humorous watching people walk out of your way and stare at you as if you were diseased. Perhaps I should start saying things like "DON'T DRINK THE WATER" as I run around with blood all over my arms.

Yeah, enough of that.

I haven't been recording anything because I haven't had a stable Internet connection, so there's that. I am hoping this one will hold out. Sierra has been essentially laughing at me the entire time we have been here so far because she knows how uncomfortable I am. (ie Lots of beggars and crowded places in very sparse areas on the way to Texas. We've essentially walked through all of them.)

Not only that, but the people that we are visiting are highly pious and Sierra cannot resist sarcastically referencing this as often as possible.

We're supposed to travel to Austin, Texas in the next several days or so. Supposedly it's quite a strange place. Perhaps we can get some forcing in.

Anyway, interesting experience so far. I have no idea what to expect next. I'll update as soon as possible.


Tulpa: Sierra

Forcing since July 2012

Couguhl’s Progress Report

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CONT.

 

Okay, so we've missed a lot.

And I mean a LOT.

We have had very little forcing, we have spent little time on the site, and our interactions have generally been limited to mind voice and occasional glances. Yep.

 

Anyway, we're starting up again on what we missed and cannot wait to continue.


Tulpa: Sierra

Forcing since July 2012

Couguhl’s Progress Report

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July 2 - July 4 2013

 

We've been doing some pretty basic stuff. Training imposition, possession, etc.

Specifically, we've been experimenting with possession recently.

When she possesses my hands, I have always gotten this really strange, tingly sort of feeling. It feels sort of like I have less control over them (obviously) like they've 'fallen asleep.' It's kind of subtle.

But after letting Sierra play for an extended amount of time, that feeling stays for a little while after we've stopped. My body feels like it transitions between each others control, rather than just flipping back and forth like a switch.

The only reason I mention this is because it gets more apparent the longer we are possessing, and I haven't really noticed the transitioning effect before. I'll have to ask some other people about their experiences with this and see if I find similarities.

Hell, maybe I'll post a poll. The only thing stopping me is that it's difficult to explain.

 

 

On a bit of an irrelevant note, something about us is different. I feel like something interesting is going to happen to us soon. I can't really explain anything more than that.


Tulpa: Sierra

Forcing since July 2012

Couguhl’s Progress Report

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July 5 2013

 

Last night was fucking horrible.

Sierra kept having these nightmarish intrusive thoughts while trying to sleep, and she would end up sobbing hysterically. She was actually terrified. I spent most of the night trying to keep her calm and comfort her, and it really was a struggle for us. I've never seen her like that before. It really upset me seeing her like that, and I still haven't really gotten over it.

I had gotten very little sleep the night before, so perhaps it was just hallucinatory sleep deprivation. Whatever it was, I don't want it to ever happen again.

We eventually agreed to put her into a stasis-like state until the morning. She's a lot better now, but I can't help but feel bad about the whole thing.

 

It's really odd because not only does she very rarely cry, but she has never displayed any sort of fear before. Not once.

I don't know. We're moving on. I think our bond has strengthened.

Hopefully tonight will be a better night.


Tulpa: Sierra

Forcing since July 2012

Couguhl’s Progress Report

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