Lacquer March 6, 2013 March 6, 2013 [align=center] [/align](Pictured: Lacquer Boxes.) [align=justify]I have not yet started on my tulpa, but I have a plan. Research has shown (a source is likely in one of those three links) that if one publicly announces one's intentions to do something, then one is more likely to do that something. As such, I plan on writing a new post (possibly simply a new update for this first post) for this thread every day containing everything tulpa-related done that day, as well as my goals/what my next step is. (If I go with the updating the main post option, I will only make new posts if important/notable/exciting progress has been made.) My plan is to read all of the guides in the Guides section of tulpa.info, as well as the guides in the forum's Guides section pertaining to the initial creation of the tulpa (i.e. not waiting to make my tulpa until I have read things about imposition, possession, switching, or any other late-stage processes). I understand that this approach may seem controversial, and many people would likely advise against it, but it is how I wish to do this. I also know that doing this will take longer than most other people's tulpa-making processes. Speaking of time, I also want to say that my goal with making this tulpa is not to have it done quickly. In fact, I will be attempting to take it slow enough to align with Dane's initial guide. Of course, I will not dismiss potential "early" development as Dane's guide would imply; I will apply things that I have learned from recent developments. Without further ado, I present my Progress Report: Pre-initial post: I have read many guides, some multiple times. I have thought about what my mindscape will be. I have contemplated ideas for the form of my future tulpa. I have thought about and listed personality traits. I will use the mindscape for things other than tulpa development. For example, in my plan, I have included a place for a closet of sorts that will act as a memory palace/method of loci/roman room. I will not elaborate on the design of the mindscape until the point of which I have visualized it and set the design in. While I'm thinking about it, I would like to say that I will refrain from using words like "wonderland" and "tulpaforcing", as they seem sillier than I would like my progress report to be. Another thing of note: I use "a human" for humans, "a tulpa" for tulpas, and "a person" or "a consciousness" for both humans and tulpas. As for the form of the tulpa, I have conflicting thoughts about this. I hope for my tulpa to choose its form, but I have some preconceptions of what it should be. Thinking back to Jung's Psychological Archetypes, having my Anima be my tulpa would be something I'd like. As I do not know enough about the topic, nor do I know if a tulpa truly can be one's anima/animus (assuming they exist and Jung wasn't wrong), my tulpa will be almost certainly female. Along with the idea of the Anima, she would be human. Throwing ideas at the wall and seeing what sticks, I have thought of ways she could be different from a "female version of myself", as the Anima is sometimes described. She could have eye colors defying the norm, with Spring Green and Dark Orchid blending like brown and green in Hazel eyes, possibly softly glowing; she could also simply have normal hazel eyes, which are pretty enough as-is. I have thought of several ideas for her hair, ranging from nice and mundane brown, to weird iridescent hair like Opals or mother-of-pearl, to blue (but not shock blue; something more tasteful), to something mixing colors (despite the fact that I hate recreationally dyed/highlighted hair with a passion). Something I have thought about in relation to my future tulpa ever since I saw it for the first time was this (titled Hush by Acidlullaby). I don't know what it was, whether it was face shape, the way the hair curled, the color of the hair (blue but not such that it looked dyed), or what, but it struck me. Obviously the stuff around her eyes and lips would be left out, if this influenced my tulpa. Which brings me to another point: makeup/fashion. I am not one for makeup/fashion. I prefer a girl to be without makeup and in plain clothes to her overly gussied-up any day. Now, as the idea of the Anima is going to be heavily influential on the form and personality of my tulpa, she may be the exact opposite of me. We'll see. Notice that I said "could" and related noncommittal words throughout describing my ideas for her potential form. I want her to choose her own form and if not, then deviate to my "subconscious ideal", which is what I believe she would choose on her own and is equivalent to my Anima. Going back to personality, I have some eight or so traits, with about twenty subtraits spread under those. Again, I want her to deviate to "subconscious ideal" status, but I believe that personality forcing is a good way to "guided narration" as a way of actively developing a tulpa. I only plan on making one tulpa. Once it is completely done, then I will discuss with her the idea of making more. I have multiple reasons for making a tulpa, as nearly everyone here does, but my reasons may be a little different. As I believe a tulpa has domain over the brain beyond any but the most trained humans have, I will be working with my future tulpa for "self-discovery", becoming more aware of myself and who I am, as well as being more introspective and self-understanding. We will work together to help me make better decisions, break bad habits while forming good habits, and be a better person. That could mean better socially, physically, etc. These reasons were my initial reasons beyond "this is an amazing thing to do". A short time later, and I was one of the first to think of it, back in April (no one heeded me then, and if I tried to remind them now, they wouldn't remember), I thought about switching and being able to experience in my mind sensations impossible for my human form to experience, which I believe is a process made many times harder without a tulpa to have root access to the brain to help you out. The reasons that followed, "extra perks" if you will, are closer to what most people want with a tulpa: things like companionship, a relationship beyond one that any other human can provide, etc. All these related things what with better lucid dreaming, mindscape hijinks, etc. are just bonuses on top of bonuses. It's a wonderful world, and a beautiful mind. The first time it really hit me how serious and beautiful a concept such as a tulpa is was one time when I was walking and thinking about imposition. For whatever reason, something clicked there that seriously emotionally affected me. I guess I realized how it was possible to do so much with your mind that you can create a whole new person with your mind, then concentrate hard enough to manifest it as a hallucination on your senses. I was absolutely giddy when I thought that. I have been reading guides, browsing the forum, and posting on the IRC to get as much prior experience going in to this tulpa. I want her to be perfect, as I know she will be. That's just the nature of tulpas (to be perfect), especially with deviation. Expanding on that, I am thankful for everyone who has ever done anything with this tulpa community, as they have in some way bettered it. Thank you. March 5, 2013: I have gotten through some of the larger guides. As of writing this post, I am in the process of reading Dane's main guide. I am reading them in the order they are presented on the Guides page. Hopefully I can get them done before major site reshuffling happens, but I do not know an estimated time that will happen. My immediate goal is to finish the guides on the Guides page, then figure out which guides are worth reading here. I will likely be reading pico's compilation. Goodnight, Lacquer[/align]
Lacquer March 7, 2013 Author March 7, 2013 [align=justify]March 6, 2013 Unfortunately, I have done virtually nothing today productive relevant to my making of a tulpa. I have finished reading Dane's main guide, and have moved down the list to the "For Dummies" guide. As always, I spent some time on the forums and on IRC. My goals have not changed, except I will also be using Lunanite's compendium of guides (EDIT: At the time of writing this original post, I was thinking of this, but instead I accidentally wrote down the compendium) to help me organize my reading of the guides. I will make my own list with comments and order in which I will read them. Goodnight, Lacquer[/align]
Lacquer March 8, 2013 Author March 8, 2013 [align=justify]March 7, 2013 I have read a sizable chunk of the guides on the Guides page, and I am currently on TOG's Centering guide (which is more helpful and contains more new concepts than the earlier guides on that page), so I think that is half way through. Possibly even more, depending on the size of the future guides. Just like every day, I spent some time on the IRC and on the forums. It's interesting to see how possession/switching has become so much of a desired thing here that most of the posts I read today pertained to that. My goals are the same as yesterday, but I think I should be able to finish reading all the guides by Saturday. If you hadn't noticed, I read many more guides today than yesterday, or any of the days before. I blame this in part on Pleeb's post here, where he implied that the site reshuffling will likely happen soon. Goodnight, Lacquer[/align]
Lacquer March 9, 2013 Author March 9, 2013 [align=justify]March 8, 2013 A few guides stuck out at me, mainly the ones about personality. Reading through these guides has given me an idea about how to go about personality forcing. What I will do is start out with just getting through all of the eight traits I have listed in one forcing session. I do not know how long my forcing sessions will be; hopefully an hour long, but I will try my hardest to make half an hour a minimum. In forcing all of the traits spread out through one session, if that session is 30 minutes long, each trait would be about three and a half minutes long (accounting for two minutes of transitional phases at the beginning, end, and in between traits). This would translate to about seven minutes a trait for an hour long session. This seems short to me, but I have a plan. After that initial going over of eight traits per session for one session, I will go to four traits per session for two sessions, then two traits per session for four sessions, etc. This is not as concrete as it sounds though. Basically, I will go through the list over and over again in order with an increasing amount of time for each trait, eventually introducing the subtraits under each trait into the mix. That reminded me of Phi's greeting stage. Looking ahead, I think I will do a sort of cauldron/pot/whatever and potions as a cheesy symbolic thing to go with this greeting stage. I'm not sure how effective it will be, as my tulpa will not have a name until she gives herself one. Going with the idea of her being modeled after my Anima, it will be interesting to see the name she chooses. Will she remain nameless? Will she call herself "Anima"? Will she call herself a female version of my name? Will she name herself one of the numerous female names that I have though about how pretty they are in the past? Will she name herself what my subconscious would choose, if given the option, as a name for me if I were female? We'll have to wait and see. I have expressed in the past how I do not like the purposeful inclusion of "negative" traits in a tulpa's personality trait list, because the flaws that all people have arise from the negative sides to neutral or positive traits. As such, the traits I have chosen are as follows:AdventurousKindDeterminedIntelligentUnderstandingCaringPracticalLighthearted Adding in the subtraits, it becomes this:AdventurousScientifically curiousDaringInquisitive [*]KindPoliteCooperativeTrustworthy [*]DeterminedMotivatedPersistent [*]IntelligentInventiveLogical [*]UnderstandingConsideringAnalyticalDeducing [*]CaringAffectionateConsiderateHelpfulEncouragingRespectful [*]PracticalNon-ObsessiveNon-ImpulsiveReasonableDecisiveConciseConscientiousOrganizedSituation-conscious [*]LightheartedSweetCheerfulOptimistic Note that these originally were 37 traits thought of individually, and then pared down to the eight by putting other traits under those eight. This may seem like many more traits than are needed, but remember that I funneled them down to eight. Also, I have written about the wonders of deviation before, and I am looking forward very much to see how what my tulpa ends up being differs from this list. On a somewhat unrelated note to traits, I want to discuss open-eye versus closed-eye visualization. I think that some skill in both would be important. Open-eye would allow me to read things and follow directions while also concentrating on the tulpa, but closed-eye provides a better environment for things that aren't part of a process I would have to look at the instructions to do. On passive versus active creation, I think that I will do solely active creation, save for some light supplemental narration throughout the day. I have found myself able to concentrate and keep ideas in my head while actively doing only that, rather than some mix of that and other things. I see it as a scale of how much attention/concentration/focus is put on the tulpa. For all three, the mind's central focus is on the tulpa, but to what degree/percentage are the rest of your thoughts focused on it is the question. For really active, meditation-level stuff, that is entirely on the tulpa. For passive creation in which people do things that were, in the early days of Western Psychological Tulpas (things like personality and detail visualization), only done actively, the concentration/attention is somewhat split between outside and tulpa. For Narration throughout the day, which is very passive, it is only as much as if one was talking to another human for a second, then going back to the rest of the world, with a slight pause for a response, as with any person-to-person conversational communication. On traits again, I will likely look at the Big Five factors and the 16 Personality Factors and type something up dealing with them. Looking at the Multiple Intelligences guide, I want to make a note. I will not limit the abilities or intelligences of my tulpa. She will inherit all my knowledge, and from my subconscious and traits will she develop how she applies it. She may, and likely will, surpass me in some of these categories, simply because of how much control she will have over herself (because she will be a thoughtform and she will have deep/root access to my brain) and because her traits will allow her to be able to apply information as an Intelligence, where my personality traits limit me from applying it. On to my progress as I have posted the past two days. I have finished all of the guides on the Guides page except for The Reaches of the Tulpa, which I should have finished reading before I go to bed after posting this. I will then move on to make my own catalog of guides and put them in the order that I will read them, excluding the later steps as I described in past posts here. I think that next time here I will post about some ideas I had for my mindscape, breaking the rule I stated a couple posts ago. Goodnight, Lacquer[/align]
Lacquer March 10, 2013 Author March 10, 2013 [align=justify]March 9, 2013 Like I said, I will be describing my ideas for my mindscape. Before I begin, I would like to say that I have added in another pacing step into the process I am using. Before anything else, I will develop and get used to my mindscape. I will learn how to visualize the mindscape properly and how to interact with it. I will make the mindscape second nature. When this is done, I will be able to more effectively use the mindscape as a backdrop for creating my tulpa. It should help me do some symbolic visualizations, as the majority of relevant guides say to do, to have mastery over presence in the mindscape. I should have my own personal form solidified in the mindscape before creating my tulpa. On to the description of ideas for it. The base is blank white, like but with a few differences. It isn't bouncy like in that film, and it has a sun, moon, stars, sky, etc. The base may change at some point, and if it does, it will likely just be grass. There are six buildings/structures in it, with placed along a pattern in which the flat fronts of each building/structure lines up along a semiellipse shaped like this, with equal space in between them. Left to right, there is the Workshop, a door to the Lounge, the Places Gallery, the World, the Library, and the Memory Palace. There are streetlights between each structure, and a simple fountain in the middle of the whole area. The workshop is a simple shack with not much inside. There are some shelves where I will put chemicals that represent different personality traits in the cheesy visualization mentioned in an earlier post. There is also a table with a thing on it. The thing is circular in shape, convex somewhere between a plate and a bowl, probably close-ish in shape to a shallow wok. The radius of it is about a foot and a half (.5 meters to those who use metric). It has a shiny surface, but I have yet to figure out what kind of material it is. It could be mirror-like, but I have heard bad things about mirrors in lucid dreams that might carry over into the mindscape. There's also the issue of the complex mental rendering of a reflection. Making it porcelain would fix this issue. In the center of it would be placed the cheesy visualization of my proto-tulpa's "soul", if you'll excuse the parapsych/metaphys words. I will pour the chemicals into the pan and they would flow towards the center, wherein the proto-tulpa will absorb them like a tiny black hole that only works for these chemicals. Another way to see it is if there was a small hole in the very bottom and center of the pan that the liquid chemicals go towards then fall through. Another idea for the mixing station would be a cauldron with a large body and a narrow opening, so I couldn't see into the bottom of it, where my proto-tulpa would reside. This would avoid the issue of having to visualize a form before my tulpa's sapience is done, which I don't want to do. Of course, it could be restricting to her, so that's an issue with this design. I played around with ideas of a sort of mold I would pour the proto-tulpa's essence into like cast iron to give the initial form, but I threw that idea away. As you can tell, I am not entirely decided on this. Things will happen as they happen. The door to the Lounge is just a free-standing door. Think Monster's Inc, but without the technology, and instead a wooden frame and stand. Most of the materials in my mindscape will be wood, with minimal amounts of other things. As for what the Lounge is, I will detail that in a later post. The Places Gallery is a building of similar external architecture to the Workshop (of which I still have to think of the architectural style). It is longer than its face is wide. In it, on the left wall, there are paintings. Each will depict a different location. For example, one could depict a beach and another a desert. Underneath each will be a hatch. Each hatch will open with the hinge being perpendicular to the plane of the painting. Think of a book placed on a laptop and a page being turned. There will be a ladder that descends to a place that is represented by the painting above it. Each locale will be isolated, stretching on to infinity if relevant (like a desert) or limited of relevant (like an island). The ladder can be placed anywhere in the locale, and can be called from anywhere in the locale. The building will grow length to accommodate more places as they are created. The World is a planned place (I will not even open it until very much down the line). It will be styled similarly to the Places Gallery on the inside, but there is only one hatch to open, it faces the person at the door, and there is no painting for it. This is sort of a "pushing the limits" project. I will detail my plans for it later. The Library, on the outside, is a rectangular prism of equal length and width, but height half of that. On top, there is a glass-paneled geodesic dome, the diameter of which equals the length and width of the body of the Library. It will be sealed with a ribbon on the door handles, until the time comes that I will give full access to my subconscious to my tulpa (assuming she doesn't crack in before then). Inside at that moment will just be a sort of ethereal haze, which represents my subconscious. After walking into it and being enveloped by the ethereal haze in another cheesy symbolic representation, she will have the deep/root access to my brain. After this happening, the Library will be reformed, with four rooms on the right modeled after study rooms externally, with a reading area on the left. The reading area has tables and chairs, projectors with screens, and the like. The central room is lit overhead by the sun when out (which can be covered), and when not out, with lights lining the panels of the dome. The four rooms, in order from closest to the main door to furthest are as follows: Personal Memories (episodic memories, or events that have happened to me), Media (books, TV shows, comics, movies, music, etc), Knowledge (information and skills stored in my memory), and a listening room (more on this later). They each, except for the last, contain the same ethereal haze that my tulpa will be able to walk into and retrieve some sort of physical media from within. It could be something to put up on the projector to rewatch something I have seen, or a book of instructions on something I know how to do, or an audio recording of something. This is intended to have it be a little more concrete with my tulpa's ability to recall my memories, even though she will be able to do it at any time and give me my memories at any time, through natural tulpa-host empathy. The fourth room is inspired by this thread (and another one I can't remember). It will be a room to listen for thoughts that might come from my Shadow or other Jungian things. It'll have a fancy-looking radio set in it, like something from a war radio room. I don't know what I would do with this room after its initial purpose, as it is pretty single-use. The Memory Palace is just a sort of free-standing wardrobe. In it, it is full of shelves that will contain objects I will use for the Method of Loci memory technique. The shelves on the inside of the doors remain the same, but the ones in the back can rotate vertically to access more shelves. That concludes the mindscape description for now. I remembered something I thought about my tulpa a while ago. When imposed, and in the wonderland, she can levitate and go through walls, but that takes effort and she prefers acting like a normal tangible person. As for my progress on the guides, I have finished all the guides on the Guides page, and I have started to read pico's guide, which includes Methos's and a few other new guides. I will read Amadeus's, JD1215's and Fede's things as well next. I will get to the personal guide evaluation and order thing later. Goodnight, Lacquer[/align]
Lacquer March 11, 2013 Author March 11, 2013 [align=justify]March 10, 2013 I didn't do much today. I was busy with other things. I didn't even post on the forum or IRC as much as I normally do. I do have a set of tabs that I will read through before moving on to other guides, though. This parsing out with clear-cut goals helps me to get it done. Next time I'll explain the purpose and ideas behind the World experiment and the Lounge. Also, at the start of creating my tulpa, only the Memory Palace and Workshop will be open. Another two potential ideas I had for my tulpa's form were glasses and red (as in Red) lips. I haven't decided on either of these, and the Red lips sort of goes against my anti-makeup thing. We'll see. Goodnight, Lacquer[/align]
Lacquer March 12, 2013 Author March 12, 2013 [align=justify]March 11, 2013 Okay, I've been reading through pico's guide (very helpful), and I am currently in Teryakywind's guide. I still have my tabs ready to read. I have been posting throughout today here and on IRC, but like yesterday, it was not a fruitful day. I said yesterday that I would describe the World experiment I plan on doing, so here it is: At some point, almost certainly many months down the line, I plan on creating a world (modeled after Earth) within my mindscape. I will try to simulate life on it by putting a pair of proto-tulpas in it and locking the door. They will not have a memory of me or anything. Some of the rules I will place will be how you need two tulpas to make a new one, like with humans in real life. I don't know the extent to which this experiment will grow, or if I will even do it. In fact, It would probably be better for others with more skill than me to attempt this experiment, as they will have the mental facilities to run it, and are more likely to bring back results. I might make a post about it in Research, just to see what happens. As for the idea of the Lounge, it's for a bit of a strange reason that I thought of it. I figured that for tulpas born and raised in a mindscape, where do they go during the day? I mean, it's not like they just sit wherever they are in the mindscape and talk to the person that made the tulpas throughout the day, right? So I thought of an idea for a Lounge, which is a sort of command room/extra step to the body. In it, there is a door that leads to the main mindscape, and another that leads "out" so to speak. This could also be a starting point for imposition and possession, as people have always said that when imposed, a tulpa can "retract" back into the mindscape at any time. But where do they go? I answered this with the idea of the Lounge. It would have a few couches and other comfortable furniture, a television, food, and any other comforts that could be thought of as a waiting room to get to the body/"outside" or to the mindscape. Of course, I could be needlessly complicating matters of entering and exiting the mindscape for myself and my tulpa. As long as I'm on the subject of the Lounge, I could describe its layout. It is a room with no exterior, since all the doors leading in or out are sort of teleporters in some sense. Imagine this rectangle as a birds-eye view. In the bottom-left corner, on the bottom edge, there is a door leading "out". Right next to it, there is another door leading to the main mindscape, which I already described. On the remaining bottom edge and all along the top edge, there are shelves containing various foods and stuff, the normal creature comforts found in a Lounge/den/living room/whatever. On the right edge, there is a mounted television (possibly a command station later?). In front of the television are various comfortable sitting/lying furniture. I imagine it with linoleum tiles, except for the furniture/television area, which is carpeted. Most of it is white, with white drywall celings and walls, and white linoleum carpet and floors. The doors and shelves are wooden, like most things in the main mindscape. I'd say that everything's running fairly smoothly, if slow, but I like to take it slow. I think that next time I might drop my personal ban on saying "wonderland" and "tulpaforcing"/"forcing". It gets tiring to correct myself, because I tend to type out "wonderland" at first. I guess after all this time, it's been ingrained into my mind that that's the way to say it. The ban was dumb anyway. It's also my one-week anniversary of starting this Progress Report, but I don't think I'll have anything special to report for the occasion. It's funny; I've been treating this Progress Report as a sort of public tulpa diary, but in this post I mentioned other people reading this, and thought about other people reading this, more than I think I have done in the past. Hmm. Goodnight, Lacquer[/align]
Lacquer March 13, 2013 Author March 13, 2013 [align=justify]March 12, 2013 I will go through with using "tulpaforcing" and "wonderland", because that's just what everyone knows them as. It's simpler this way. But I will not use "forcing" as short for "tulpaforcing", because I might want to use that word in different contexts. I thought of a potential form idea for my tulpa yesterday, but forgot to post it. A hat. There are many different types of hats, though, and she may not even want a hat, or she may decide to wear a bunch of different hats. I don't know yet. I was inspired when I say someone wearing a hat like this (like a baseball cap, but the crown is slightly looser and bigger, but not to the extent of a betret or something), but looking at all the different styles, I know I'm not set on that type of hat. You might be wondering why I am posting all these ideas for my future tulpa's form when I am going to let her choose her own form. The reason for this is that I am going to read my progress report to her as a part of the Narration part/phase, alongside the usual comics and stuff. Another thing that happened yesterday that I forgot to post pertains to my future tulpa's name. It was when I was fighting waking up and slipping back and forth between awake and asleep. In this hypnogogic state, I has a short dream in which I was a king and I had a daughter named Kastabia (pronounced kahz-TAH-bee-ah). I think I also called her Tabby in the dream. Now, I am not one to think that every tangentially related thing is my tulpa, especially now since I haven't tulpaforced once. Instead, I will simply use this as inspiration and file this alongside other ideas for names that I have had. After thinking over the World idea, I am going to restructure my wonderland layout to get rid of it. Think back to when I posted this. I have since edited that to a closer representation of what my wonderland's layout looks like: Clockwise from bottom-left, there is the Workshop, the Places Gallery, the Door to the Lounge, the Library, and the Memory Palace (which is a wardrobe). The light brown is a gravel path, the green is grass, and the weird bullseye in the center is a fountain, kind of like this. Last night, after I posted here, I went on IRC to discuss my Lounge idea. I had an interesting conversation with MQQSE about it: http://pastebin.com/5Kz9UCdw . There's also some stuff about MQQSE's wonderland, but whatever. I have read all of pico's guide, and I am now moving on to the set of tabs I have gleaned from references and links in guides I have read. Since nearly all the guides pertain to making the tulpa, and since my first few sessions will be just about the wonderland, I might start tomorrow. It was the one week anniversary post today, and the only thing I could think of as being special this week would be the picture, and maybe my decision to move on to forcing. Goodnight, Lacquer[/align]
Lacquer March 14, 2013 Author March 14, 2013 [align=justify]March 13, 2013 Good news! I visited my wonderland for the first time earlier today. I spent 25 minutes on the whole session, but probably between three to five of those minutes at the beginning were getting into the right mindset. The rest of the time was spent building the wonderland. To relax and get ready, I visualized a human form covered in a coal/mud/dirt-like substance, which represented me. I did controlled breathing, imagining a bit of that stuff breaking away to reveal a golden light underneath. I could actually feel stuff happening in the area that I was visualizing. I had read this method described as a method of self-hypnosis, but I wasn't able to go that deep. After this, I entered by wonderland through visualizing opening a door. The door led to the Lounge, which I then constructed. This went better than expected, and everything went into place easily. A weird thing that happened was I noticed my real life feet getting cold when I walked on the linoleum floors in the Lounge. I will probably draw out a layout of what it looked like at some point, maybe tomorrow. In addition to how I described it earlier, the Lounge also had a square wooden table with four chairs (I thought four was strange), a sink on the counter, and a refrigerator. All of the furniture in the Lounge was exact copies of things in my real life, but cherry-picked and placed together. Also the table that the table in the Lounge looks like it was based on is not square in real life. After dealing with the Lounge, I exited to the main wonderland. That was a disaster. I didn't realize it until a few minutes after I tried to visualize it, but I had accidentally created it with the wrong layout. Anyway, when I first entered it, my bare feet hurt walking on the gravel, so I materialized some shoes to wear. After poking around a very short while to get the feel of being in the main wonderland (I really should give it a name), I realized it was the wrong layout and went back to the Lounge. Inside there, I imagined the main wonderland sort of dissolving into the same void that I had walked in from when first entering the Lounge. I then tried really hard to imagine what the new layout would look like when I opened the door, and then opened it. The main area looked fine this time, so I went around to the various areas in it where the buildings are supposed to be to construct them. I believe I went with the Places Gallery first. I imagined a sort of shack, with the outside walls looking like a sideways log cabin (the logs being vertical rather than horizontal). It was really short at this point, only being able to hold one Place with its associated painting and hatch. I opened the door and saw the painting and hatch as I imagined it being, but the painting was just an empty picture frame. The walls were white drywall, and the floor like this. I decided to make it longer to fit my description, so I sort of "force pushed" the back wall away, generating more blank Places in the process. I then moved onto the Workshop. The exterior looked like the Places Gallery before I lengthened it, but larger. I put in two shelves on the right (when looking in from the doorway). I had contemplated if this was going to be enough to store all the cheesy symbolic chemicals, but I decided to put that off for later. Strangely enough, the inside of the Workshop looked like the outside: grey wood logs on the walls. The logs making up the Workshop were horizontal like a normal log cabin, though. Anyway, I then made the dish I described earlier. It was indeed porcelain, and it rested on a stool copied from real life like all of the objects in the Lounge. I never looked up at the ceiling, so I never thought about how it was lit. By this time, my concentration and focus was waning (I will try to use Fede's tones next time), but I pushed along to the Memory Wardrobe. It looked very nice, with dark stained wood and a swirly carved design in it. Opening it up, it was designed just as I had planned. After a bit of confusion as to how I would operate the central area, I added a switch on the inside of the left wall. I also realized that it looked similar in function (but not style since it was all dark stained wood) to the racks in WALL-E's home. I then closed that up and left to go to the Library. My focus and concentration were really leaving me, and I was straining to finish this. I made the Library appear, but it took some effort for its size and shape to be right. Inside was the same ethereal thing that I had walked in from when entering the Lounge. I forgot to tie up the handles of it, so I'll have to remember to do that the next time I visit the wonderland. The Library looked like flat brown like in the crude drawing form last post, so that wasn't nice. I decided to make it granite, like the Texas state capitol building. At this point, I remembered the deal with the sun mentioned in Chupi's visualization guide. I tested (unsuccessfully) the shadows by moving the sun around and making it night and such, then set it on a normal rise-in-east, set-in-west path. When I made it night, I remembered that I wanted to put streetlights in between each of the buildings there. I was quickly losing focus and control over the wonderland, so I wasn't able to see what they looked like before going back to the Lounge and exiting to real life. Throughout the whole experience, I had trouble visualizing myself there. I didn't have trouble keeping in first person, as I know some people (including me in the past) have had. I had trouble making sure that I could see my hands and feet and wasn't just a floating "camera". I also had a lot of trouble keeping the wonderland steady in my view (though strangely not when I was in the Lounge). What I mean by this is, for example, I was looking at the fountain from outside the workshop. Since I was only focusing on the fountain, I couldn't see the Library behind it, the gravel path, or the grass. I talked about it in the IRC, and I think that I just need to practice more. Of course, that's why I am doing the wonderland repeatedly before I even start my tulpa! Hopefully I can figure something out to keep focus for longer, but 25 minutes is more than I thought I could do. For the next few days, I will be busy, so my chances of getting any real work done are slim. I will download Fede's tones and save off the various guides I have left and are on my immediate to do list. Goodnight, Lacquer[/align]
Lacquer March 15, 2013 Author March 15, 2013 [align=justify]March 14, 2013 Like I said, I was busy, so I wasn't productive today. I didn't go to my wonderland, but I did think about my tulpa a bit. Just general "what's whe going to be like?" things. At one point today, I was "alone with my thoughts", and I began to think about my tulpa. I thought of a couple of ideas for her name, "thought" and "thoughts". These are different from my earlier potential names, as these are less of names one would give to a human child. They're more in-line with the "pet-style" names I have seen some tulpas have, like Chess or Glass. After thinking of these potential names, I thought about another closely related name, Psyche. I thought about how it is a real name (like the Greek myth), and it relates to the whole thought/brain/psychology thing going on with tulpas. Just now, looking at that wikipedia page, I also see that it is used as "spirit" or "soul", which sounds very tulpa-like. It's a pretty name, to boot. I also thought about her hair. Would it be long? Short? Curly? Straight? Would it be simply down? Would it be in a ponytail? Would it be braided? Would it be styled? Thinking about hair styles, I thought about hairstyles pretty much just pre-60's era. Thinking about this, and remembering someone mentioning this a while ago, I thought about how styling/braiding her hair would help me visualize it. Looking at this, and seeing the many different options of which I am not leaning towards any of them, I think this will be pretty much entirely up to my tulpa when she chooses her form. I still have my set of things I am working on, so that's still the same, progress-wise. I have yet to crack into Fede's tones, but that should be happening soon. Goodnight, Lacquer[/align]
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