Lacquer's Box

[Lacquer]

But you're actually productive.

[historical]

shhhh never measure accomplishments by results, measure by effort.

[Mr. Duke and His Attorney]

You, sir. Something about all of this. I don't know. I'm going to read through everything here. I'm only through those first few posts, but reading them was deja vu. Outside of the functions and how they tend to play out in the real world, I know nothing about Jung. Other than that, damn man. Practically the same reasons as well. As a note, it generally takes 66 days to break a habit and 66 to form one. You can miss a few days here and there, but you generally shouldn't. Or so a Cracked article told me. Once something is a habit, you can do it with exerting no willpower. Added to the reasons, I plan on being a writer, and everything about tulpas screams "Fucking awesome!" Especially in regard to every single aspect of writing.

 

I hope you don't mind if I go about imitating the general structure/flow of your posts until I catch up. I don't think I've actually shared any personal details about my tulpa's appearance or wonderland anything.

 

As for fashion.... TAKE THIS!!! (Also, hat, brilliant. Thin, purple-tinted sunglasses, fun choice for me. I also went with silver eyes. Read the next entry I make in my PR. Assuming I deliver it right, it was an... experience. Even if it only lasted a minute. Probably have it finished tomorrow. Its full of diversions, I'll point you to the right spot.) Fashion is hella fun, trust me.

 

J. Peterman

This stuff is the shit. They change their stuff a lot, so save images of what you like. Let me see if I can find my setup.

 

It's this http://www.jpeterman.com/Womens-Sweaters/Off-the-Shoulder-Sweater

with this http://www.jpeterman.com/Going-Going/LC-Lacy-Flannel-Skirt-b

except in the catalog I have, green is the main background color with blue/black stripes. And my sleeves are baggy.

 

This place is cool with their mega pocket count

ScottEVest

 

And here are some bitching coats and other neat things.

http://imgur.com/a/GbRaI

 

EDIT: Oh yeah, I'll tell you my functions if you tell me yours, eh eh

[Lacquer]

Functions meaning Cognitive functions? In that case, I have no idea. I have managed the herculean feat of having researched them extensively while not understanding it. I mean, I think I have Introverted Thinking and Introverted Feeling, which does not happen, according to people. Of course, I may be INTP, which has its Extraverted Feeling as its fourth function, because I am generally introverted yet can have bursts of energy and emotion for an hour to hours at a time (the longer the span of the burst, the rarer it is). I also emote vividly at times, but my face doesn't always match my emotion.

 

If you mean some other functions, then I'm lost. If you know more about the cognitive processes, please post explaining.

 

Thanks for the comments, and feel free to copy the format presented (even though I can't think of very many things that I would call this PR's "format"). Thanks also for the fashion stuff, even though it seems strange to post.

[Lacquer]

[align=justify]March 22, 2013

 

I'm going along at a pace a little slower than I'd like, but it's fine.

 

Although, seeing my history with consistency in wonderland sessions, I'm worried that I might not be caring enough to force and narrate enough each day, or even manage to force daily. I guess the only thing I can do about this is cast off my fears.

 

Trait of the day: Determined

Adjective

1. Having made a firm decision and being resolved not to change it.
2. Processing or displaying resolve.

As I have said before, I only said "determined" because "stubborn" has a rude connotation. A large part of my reasons for making a tulpa were of the "self-improvement" type, and she wouldn't help me very much if she just rolls over whenever I say that I don't want to do something that I should do. This trait will allow my tulpa to continue pursuits, and not give up, both amiable qualities not directly related to helping me. I also think that perseverance, determination, and related aspects are good things to have in general.

 

Motivated:

This is that she thinks of something and does it. A "don't put off tomorrow what can be done now" attitude. Something I lack, and her having this will complement and supplement my own flaw here. Determined is general doing things under pr'essure/adversity, but motivated is specifically that first "kickstart" acton.

 

Persistent:

It's much better to act similarly in various situations rather than randomly, in my (wholly correct) opinion. Persistence as a subtrait of determined is just expanding on the unwavering self support of her thoughts. As a standalone trait, which all the subtraits can function as, it affects consistency of behavior. I don't like random things outside of my knowledge or control. Obviously, since a tulpa is a separate consciousness, I will not expect to be able to know what she will do in a given situation beforehand, but this will make it so she doesn't react with completely opposite emotions in similar situations. It also avoids random for random's sake which is just bad.

 

Hopefully the recent happenings with the site will not impede my guide reading or my progress report writing.

 

(22 minutes late, shitfuckdamn)

 

Goodnight,

Lacquer[/align]

[Lacquer]

[align=justify]March 23, 2013

 

Virtually zero "concrete" progress today. I was busy for most of today, but I did do some forming.

 

I've been thinking about how I want to do the cheesy symbolism for "making the tulpa's soul". Things like how I am going to break it off from my own wonderland "soul" (in the chest compartment mentioned earlier). For that, I'll just try to wave my hand in between us to break that bond, since the cheesy symbolism is little more than just colored air/mist. The color change, and the bit of life energy or whatever becoming "hers" will happen before I disconnect us.

 

Trait of the day: Intelligent

Adjective

1. Having good understanding or a high mental capacity; quick to comprehend, as persons or animals: an intelligent student.
2. Displaying or characterized by quickness of understanding, sound thought, or good judgment: an intelligent reply.

You've heard of the phrase, "If you're dumb, surround yourself with smart people, and if you're smart, surround yourself with other smart people that disagree with you." Even if I leave out personal judgement on whether I am smart or dumb, the end result in either case is that I should surround myself with smart people. And I do, in fact, prefer for the people around me that I converse with to be intelligent. If I am going to be with my tulpa for the rest of my life, of course I'd want her to be intelligent. Now, why "intelligent" as opposed to "smart"? Well, at the time I wrote this list, I hadn't understood the real definition of "intelligence" and its multiple forms. All I thought was that these two words were synonyms with different connotations. "Intelligent" had a connotation closer to "book smarts", and "smart" had a connotation closer to "street smarts". As you have seen with my choosing "scientifically curios" over "curious" and as you will see with my choosing "inventive" over "creative", I prefer the connotations that these words provide.

 

Inventive:

As I said, this is simply a different word for "creative". Both contain very much the dame aspects, which are things like effectively combating functional fixedness, seeing things from different perspectives, and accessing intuitive and insightful thoughts. Making the word chosen for this "inventive", though, lends itself to having more of an end goal in mind when applying this and lends itself to more "left-brained" pursuits (not that this inventiveness can't be applied towards artistic endeavors).

 

Logical:

Thinking to the (incorrect) common perception of the concept of "thinking versus feeling" in MBTI, we can see a dichotomy here. Logical versus irrational, scientific versus artistic, left-brain versus right-brain (this one's not true, but it gets the point across), STEM versus Liberal Arts, etc. versus etc. I am inclined towards the first of these, as you clearly can see. One might declare a "familiarity breeds contempt"/"hugbox"/"too far into comfort zone" thing from this, but I do not believe that this is so, and if it is, we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. Also, adding on "logical" to "intelligent" helps define her thinking methods as pointed in a certain direction. All in all, I think that adding this subtrait is a good idea.

 

I have much to do, and I am falling behind in my schedule, but thing will happen as they happen. It'll all work out.

 

(39 minutes late, cockshittingfuckdammit)

 

Goodnight,

Lacquer[/align]

[Lacquer]

[align=justify]March 24, 2013

 

I have five guides left to read, give or take a couple saved for other uses. Tomorrow is a big day, because I have the largest amount of subtraits to write up. I do have a large amount today, though. Also, tomorrow is exactly one week from when I said this:

I'm doing very good with the guides, and I think I can start my tulpa with Phi's Greeting Stage sometime within a week or two.

Obviously, I am not going to start tomorrow, but I think that I might be able to by next Monday. We'll see what happens.

 

Trait of the day: Caring

Adjective

1. Displaying kindness and concern for others.
2. Feeling or showing care and compassion.

A lot of today's trait will echo "Kind" from earlier. I don't want my tulpa to be mean, so I have these traits. "Caring" could have been a subtrait to "Kind", but as you can see, there are multiple subtraits for caring. Also, caring has more of a long-term connotation as opposed to the single-instance "kind". Due to all of the self-help reasons for my making a tulpa, having "caring" as a trait seems simply natural. A caring person would be one showing real concern and wanting to help. Also, "caring" can be a versatile word, as you will see with the relatively wide range of subtraits associated with it.

 

Affectionate:

Also "loving", but since that is already implied with a tulpa, I went with this. "Loving" can also take many forms, and "Affectionate" is one of them. Affectionate is more vibrant and visible than some other forms. I have heard that tulpa hugs are wonderful things, so I thought it would be good to have a tulpa that openly would hug often.

 

Considerate:

I thought of including a bit of what this means when describing "understanding", but either I forgot or decided to keep its focus closer to what its subtraits imply. Considerate is thinking about all the different sides of a situation, then applying them to interpersonal interactions. Most of the time, it shows up in being kind, which is a virtual synonym to considerate in how people use it.

 

Helpful:

Someone with a drive to make things better for others is helpful. I like helping others, and I want my tulpa to feel the same way. This subtrait is pretty self-descriptive.

 

Encouraging:

Again with the helping me things, this is here to make her a motivating person. As you'll see later, another one of her subtraits is optimistic, and this subtrait fits with that.

 

Respectful:

Not being crass or brutish in her words. In applicable situations, thinks "I don't care" instead of "I don't give a shit". Doesn't swear/cuss/say bad words except in the most extreme situations. Treats other people with kindness and respect. Knows that other people have feelings, and works to not disrupt them.

A much better person than I.

 

 

I'm late today, but I think that I'll give up on the whole "11:44 PM Texas time" thing I have been doing. I'll still try to post it at 11:44, but I won't act like it's such a big deal. I definitely want it to be posted on the actual day it has in the first like, though, so I'll post it before midnight if at all possible. If I manage to get it done earlier in the day, even better. I think that more people might even see it if I post as little as an hour earlier.

 

Also, I am going through and making every post in this thread in justified alignment.

 

Goodnight,

Lacquer[/align]

[Mr. Duke and His Attorney]

Functions meaning Cognitive functions? In that case, I have no idea. I have managed the herculean feat of having researched them extensively while not understanding it. I mean, I think I have Introverted Thinking and Introverted Feeling, which does not happen, according to people. Of course, I may be INTP, which has its Extraverted Feeling as its fourth function, because I am generally introverted yet can have bursts of energy and emotion for an hour to hours at a time (the longer the span of the burst, the rarer it is). I also emote vividly at times, but my face doesn't always match my emotion.

 

If you mean some other functions, then I'm lost. If you know more about the cognitive processes, please post explaining.

 

Thanks for the comments, and feel free to copy the format presented (even though I can't think of very many things that I would call this PR's "format"). Thanks also for the fashion stuff, even though it seems strange to post.

 

Damn straight it's strange. It's one of the reasons I so highly value anonymity on the internet. And yeah, cognitive functions. I know exactly what you mean, and you may very well be an INTP. At least, I got that kind of a feel from how much your opening post struck home to me. You could also be an INTJ, considering how you're able to just hone in and systematically consume everything here. Most likely though, if you think you have Ti, you probably do. Cognitive functions are the one thing I'm good at psychology-wise. Explaining it to others? Maybe not so much.

 

The worst part about cognitive functions is that they are really hard to understand until you have them, so to say. Basically, to use metaphors I'm good at making (as opposed to, say, baseball metaphors), you can level up your functions. You have to go in order as well(Ti->Ne->Si->Fe), no skipping straight to Fe. I was simply incredibly lucky enough to have learned all I needed to know about Extroverted Feeling by watching it in action from an ENTP (and a different one through WoW). Since it is such a low function for him as well, it played out in a very similar way to my own. Actually, he had a tulpa in middle school. Neat coincidences. Probably the reason he matured so early. Si is still kind of weird to me, but it acts like a huge database. It also acts as the, um, thing, when you recall a memory and can recall the sensations of said memory. You can level it up by essentially spending time making your wonderland as real-seeming as possible. I'll type out my notes on my functions, and if these seem anything like you, you may be an INTP [master race].

 

As it tends to go, so says a youtube video, people may go through life only realizing two of their functions. It isn't until much later in life that people tend to acknowledge their third, and is sort of rare for someone to open up all four. Which is why it is hard to feel like you even have four. What most people attribute to "age"/"wisdom" is actually just life running you through the grinder and opening up your functions. The earlier you do it in life, the more of a full person you can become. Seriously, you seem superhuman. And hanging out with older people becomes much easier/relatable. At work anyway. That being said, old people still have time and experience. As a culture, we just tend to misinterpret function unlocking as part of aging.

 

Alright, first off, the youtube videos that taught me what the hell was going on. A lot of the Fe I learned in retrospect once I learned what that ENTP was doing when he was around people (See my notes in the following post on Fe). I recommend you watch

from the same channel. I also recommend you watch whatever seems interesting. Particularly INTP related. Possibly INTJ.

 

Protip: You can logically deduce/induce how Fe/emotions work, how to feel them/channel them etc. Its all about watching people, observing body language, speech, intonation. Its actually all really natural. For an INTP. Which I think you are. Unless you're not.

 

I'm nabbing yo' writing structure! That kind of form.

 

One day, I plan to make a personality guide based on these functions, but I do not understand them well enough to quickly and efficiently teach them, in a fashion where anyone can just read it and learn it. The guide requires knowledge of them to work, and so they must be taught in it. In order for the guide to be useful, anyone will need to be able to read it. The thing is, they allow for the true control/creation of a tulpa personality. Because everyone focuses on lists of traits or similar things, their tulpas' personalities tend to end up as whatever.

The problem with the idea behind my guide is that it requires every user to learn/know their own functions, have an intuitive understanding of functions, know how to read them in others and then, finally, be able to create them.

 

I think I had more to say in this post, but whatever, I'll post it in the next one if I remember.

 

EDIT: DAYUM. That video I posted really pounds home the "you don't have to be old to be awesome" point I was making.

[Lacquer]

Huh. Early in this post, you mentioned the possibility of my being either an INTP or INTJ, but looking at the cognitive functions of each, they seem very different.

 

You said you got a feel of me being INTP by the intro post of this thread; could you point out what might have given you this idea?

 

I'm nabbing yo' writing structure! That kind of form.

 

What? I don't get what this bit was supposed to say.

 

If you could give a little description of the eight functions/processes, that'd be nice, since I haven't really been able to understand them from other websites' descriptions.

[Mr. Duke and His Attorney]

In regards to needing to force, I'm gonna skip out finishing that guide tonight. But doing this instead is totes worth it. Totes. Worth it. The same joke in one night? Am I mad? Is it so well-placed because only one person will get it? Should I stop rambling and go to bed? [Jesus fuck, enjoy the 8-page paper. Wish I could belt these out in this kind of time during college. Enjoy the ride!]

 

These are just raw notes, with no real-world data. You’ll have to find the real-world data yourself. As a caution, working out the Fe is awkward as fuck. Luckily, I only realized it in retrospect. Yeah, one of the things about Fe is you can realize awkwardness and you make social situations your bitch. But you have to build up to that level, and it sucks. Then, after you’re at that level, you have to be able to read everyone’s emotions in a given situation, and remember to not care about the reactions people are making to you, which you are now fully aware of and fully understand. Because once you have your own personal method of social interaction, it’s going to be weird. Because I guarantee you, you are one of the rare personality types. And we are not seen in public socialization often. Rare introvert types, that is. Your method, once developed, will be weird, off-putting, and hella effective. This will make sense at some point, I promise.

 

And as for face not matching emotions. Heh. That won't happen without a lot of practice. I still fuck it up. It becomes natural with practice. All of the cognitive function stuff is about practice, preference and letting it actually happen. Easier said than done. I was lucky, and had to be put through a soul-crushing college experience (speaking of, I need to contact SGaP).

 

Let me reiterate from one of my first posts ever here. You were there, I remember. Fun stuff:

Every single is person is an introvert. Every single person is an extrovert. Every single person is intuitive and sensing, thinking and feeling. It is simply a matter of where those preferences fall and how big of a part they play in your life.

 

As another caution, if you are indeed an Extro[a?]verted Feeler, once you begin to work it out, you may begin to try to control your inner emotions. Stop. This poison has caused much... grief... to me and my ENTP friend. You have to express your emotions, whatever they may be, rather than try to contain them. Then they turn to awesome right away. This trick will not work for an Fi. Furthermore, it will not make sense until you are sure that you are an Fe. It sounds cliche, but do not bottle up your emotions. Unless you're truly an Fi. I don't know how they work, but I presume they can bottle that shit up to no detriment. Bastards. But they suck holy balls at social situations, let me tell you what. I had a few friends, boyfriend/girlfriend, who were positive someone was hitting on the girl when it was painfully obvious that it was friendly conversation in an attempt to get the two of them talking. They're just bad at reading social situations. I have a theory that there are a lot of Asperger misdiagnoses because someone is an Fi that has little experience in the Fi, let alone the Fe. Especially self-diagnoses because it is the in-disorder to have on the internet because it makes you superior or smarter or something... ... ...

*coughorexcusesyourlackofsocialskillscough*

 

I'm going to post my notes on Extraverted Thinking as well, because you will probably be able to quickly tell which style of thinking you have when they are next to each other/comparable.

 

Throughout this, you will undoubtedly be thinking, "that's not me." Such as, living according to social norms. True. But you have the potential, and it will help your mental health big time. You just have to do it your way.

 

Introverted Thinking

-Finding the right word to clearly express a point.

-Internal sense of the qualities of something

-Noticing fine distinctions

-Internal reasoning. Deriving subcategories of classes/subcategories of principles [i use this to kick ass at reshuffling/organizing the small machine-building shop I work at]

-Problem-solving, analysis, and refining an idea

-Taking things, ideas apart to see how they work

-Quickly finding inconsistencies in sides of an issue

-Search for a "leverage point" that will fix problems with least amount of effort (or damage)

-Non-confrontational, detached, inductive logic

-Deeply thinking through all angles of an idea

Ex. Noticing logical inconsistencies and using a model to evaluate accuracy.

 

Extroverted iNtuition

-Noticing hidden meanings and interpreting them

-Seeing a large number of possibilities

-Interpreting what an individual's behavior really means

-"As if." Create/comprehend various representations of reality.

-Juggle many thoughts/ideas/beliefs/meanings with the possibility that they are all true [dropping absolutism in favor of subjectivity levels this up. Absolutes are hella important, and all over the place, but mainly, anything regarding people/anything at all in the world humans touch/are a part of is very subjective]

-This is a lot like weaving threads and themes together to create a a tapestry

"We don't know the weave until a thought thread appears or is drawn out in the interaction of thoughts, often brought in from other contexts."

-Thus, a strategy often emerges from the here-and-now interactions, not appearing as a whole beforehand. [This is terrifying. Because I always rely on minimal planning and that my Ne will come up with an on-the-fly solution. Spoilers. It doesn't always]

-brainstorming

-cross-contextual thinking [watch me work! see what weed has taught me! Spoilers... it taught me not to smoke weed][Ah also, optimism. One of the noticeable changes in leveling up functions is that you will start to ignore why something is wrong, and go to what is right about it instead. This is actually HUGE for maturing. Once again, you can only see this in retrospect, having experienced it.]

-Catalyzing people [Take right now, for instance][btw, this does not apply to simply catalyzing anyone.]

-impromptu shaping situations

-A leadership style based on such (and on-the-fly solutions)

 

Introverted Sensing[key to wonderland building/use. Or pokemon memory storage!]

-Data Storage

-Comparing the current situation with similar ones

-Immediate experience/words are instantly linked with prior experiences. Similarities vs. differences are then examined.

ex. seeing someone who reminds you of someone else

ex. a particular food is saltier this time around

-A feeling with a recalled image, so strong as if reliving it. [i'm currently working this one for a progress post about last tuesday]

-Reviewing the past, lessons of history, hindsight, experience.

-Attention to detail, clear goals, clear objectives [i had to work real damn hard at the latter two]

-oneness with things which sustain culture/protect what is long-lasting [ENTPs have a lot of trouble with this one. I did as well.]

 

Extraverted Feeling

-connecting or disconnecting with people [that is, being able to choose to do it rather than it just happening]

-self-disclosure [! This one is key to grinding this function up levels]

-social graces (polite, friendly, nice)

-Getting people to act kindly to each other [That, that is a goddam high-level skill.]

-Reading expressed feelings [This is the other grind/spam skill. Kill all the metaphorical Pidgeys with this one and you'll level up quick]

-Laughing when others laugh

-Responding to expressed/unexpressed needs of others

-self-disclosure as a means to getting others to open up [Fi's and underdeveloped Fe's always mistake this as me being self-absorbed, when really I'm just trying to get their asses talking]

-Learn more about a person and adjust behavior accordingly. [The key to wearing the right mask around the right person. I love making masks. Because they are always mine. Of me. And so, I make sure to wear the right one around the right people. "We're all human under our masks." So says Shiniez, comic-creator-genius.

-Empathy (sometimes feel obligated to)

-Shared values, feelings, social norms, in order to all get along [i hope you predicted I was going to call this one a crock of shit. Ain't no how I'm taking in cultural/societal norms in the name of getting along. I just won't bring them up, which is the key. I don't ram my pseudo-atheism and pseudo-liberterianism down anyone's throat. Or even bring it up.]

-expressive, sensitive to criticism, values harmony, lives according to norms

-When you are experiencing the emotions of those around you [This is the main, higher level level-up skill. Once you can do this, your advancement will speed exponentially. The videogame metaphor is super-applicable to this process]

 

Now, compare Ti to the following. I'm sure you will resonate with one of these. If it's Ti, then you're probably INTP. If Te tugs at you, your main internal process may actually be iNtuition, and you just assumed that was what culture generally referred to as thinking. I can post info on Ni as well, but I've got forcing to do and it will have to wait until tomorrow. (Tonight's agenda: Beethoven's 3rd)

 

Extraverted Thinking

-Contingency planning, scheduling, quantifying

-organzing environment: tables, graphs, outlines

-Empirical thinking (observation/experience)

-Establish order in another person's thought process [Protip, if this is you, come at me bro]

-Lay out reasonable explanations for decisions made, challenge ideas based on facts presented

-Easily follow logic/sequence/organization of another [i forget others can do this. It always surprises me when I don't have to explain myself to my boss because he can see why what I did worked]

-Notice when something is missing [i don't notice shit]

-Compartmentalize many aspects of life in order to do what is necessary to accomplish objectives [this is why I thought you may be INTJ. Of course, readings through the internet are laughable. But it looked like you may be doing this, what with consuming all the guides and such.]

 

[All in all, I always thought this was just part of thinking in general. But, I have to admit that it is not my default way of thinking and is not part of every aspect of my life, as Ti is]

 

 

The true key to Fe (in tangent with/using Si) is being able to find culturally/socially acceptable ways to express emotions. INTPs have very complicated emotions, these kind can only be expressed alone or with very specific others. The kind of people you would talk about tulpas with, for instance. As such, bonus fact, simple emotional releases are what you have to find. Or, you can go to a Radiohead concert. A lot times, this comes as bitching about something. Once at work, the guy I was stuck with was pissed about something and I was pissed about not getting a day off and we got super pissed and bitched about the damned company (previous job) and its bull shit. And let me tell you, I felt like a champ after that. Its one of those things you need to experience to understand it. Hell, just remember that logic guides everything, is just does not control it.

 

As a writer, one day, I hope to be able to make unreal personalities. Something like the uber-extrovert (Se/Fe/Ne/Te). Characters that bend reality. Hell, even bend the little rules, like (Fe/Ne/Ti/Si). For whatever reason, no type has two extroverted qualities followed by two introverted. I need to understand why. Ah, also, in light of the below and all of this, it would do to know I am 24. And I feel like one of those monks telling the world what he learned before he dies... Spoilers. I'm not dead yet!

 

I keep these notes on me at all times because doing these things are the key to giving an INTP a bottomless source of energy (in a mini-notebook. As a writer, I have multiple books on me at all times). I just, uh, need to remember that... And how I, personally, do it. Such as annotating/working/analyzing/theorizing my videogame database. Otherwise, I just kind of rot inside... See... once you have all the functions opened-up, everything becomes much more... poignant. Unhappiness becomes much more obvious and profound, but happiness levels sky-rocket to unthought of levels. You run the gamut, hard. But you can also do more than ever before. It's weird. And, uh, you generally have to do it alone. Because people simply do not open their minds up to this level in general (without a catalyst), and so finding them is hard. I, uh, think I'm hitting hard right now on why I'm making a tulpa (Her name is Elly. Consider that a slip of sorts). Ah, one other thing. Um, let me apologize. Anyone who doesn't have an Fe worked out tends to be extremely off-put by emotional displays. Fe could also be summed up as "empathy." When you can understand/relate to/feel, in yourself, the emotion you are seeing, your viewpoint will change drastically. A lot more often now, I feel bad for obnoxious people rather than am angered by their incompetence. But let me tell you, I used to get 10 kinds of pissed by incompetence. And still do, when I have to work with it.

 

AHEM. As an example of the possibilities. I have every intention and am on the path to going to Japan to teach English, get my masters and PhD in Literature and kick general ass in said field. As a writer and a scholar. Postmodernism is dead. Metamodernism, the replacement we are only now defining, is also dying. And someone needs to get into academia and make these damn points. So. Open your god damn functions, because I need more people in the world that can do this shit. That goes to everyone on this site.

---

Alright, I can post the other 3 later. If these are making any sense that is. Well, the joke is, the ones you don't have leveled up will make no sense. My 4 shadow functions are a mystery to me.

 

I think I'm getting at basically talking about my wonderland and my process. My PR is disorganized, and could do to simply emulate the way you organized your first posts.

 

I'm just going to copy and paste the bits that resonated with me and explain it tomorrow

 

Throwing ideas at the wall and seeing what sticks, I have thought of ways she could be different from a "female version of myself", as the Anima is sometimes described.

 

I hope for my tulpa to choose its form, but I have some preconceptions of what it should be.

 

She could have eye colors defying the norm,

she could also simply have normal hazel eyes, which are pretty enough as-is.

 

I have thought of several ideas for her hair, ranging from nice and mundane brown, to weird iridescent hair like Opals or mother-of-pearl, to blue

 

to something mixing colors (despite the fact that I hate recreationally dyed/highlighted hair with a passion)

 

I don't know what it was, whether it was face shape, the way the hair curled, the color of the hair (blue but not such that it looked dyed), or what, but it struck me.

 

Obviously the

 

Notice that I said "could" and related noncommittal words throughout describing my ideas for her potential form.

 

Again, I want her to deviate to "subconscious ideal" status, but I believe that personality forcing is a good way to "guided narration" as a way of actively developing a tulpa.

 

[De.Ja.Vu. Not necessarily INTP, but resonated like crazy. Same with the following]

 

I have multiple reasons for making a tulpa, but my reasons may be a little different.

 

As I believe a tulpa has domain over the brain beyond any but the most trained humans have, I will be working with my future tulpa for "self-discovery" [and specifics that followed that]

 

We will work together to help me make better decisions,

 

That could mean better socially, physically, etc

 

These reasons were my initial reasons beyond "this is an amazing thing to do".

 

The reasons that followed, "extra perks" if you will,

 

The first time it really hit me how serious and beautiful a concept such as a tulpa is was one time when I was walking and thinking about imposition. For whatever reason, something clicked there that seriously emotionally affected me. I guess I realized how it was possible to do so much with your mind that you can create a whole new person with your mind, then concentrate hard enough to manifest it as a hallucination on your senses. I was absolutely giddy when I thought that.

 

It's a wonderful world,

 

(Syntax. Diction.)

 

[one of those extra perks you mentioned, I'm finding out in forcing sessions, has turned into a main one, but I digress]

[Yeah, reading these lines and linkzelda's motivational catapulted me headlong into serious forcing. If you ever forget, or put it off, reread these lines]

[Huh, so, you've been around since April too?]

 

I also thought about her hair.

 

Looking at this, and seeing the many different options of which I am not leaning towards any of them, I think this will be pretty much entirely up to my tulpa when she chooses her form.

 

At one point today, I was "alone with my thoughts"

 

A hat. There are many different types of hats,

but looking at all the different styles, I know I'm not set on that type of hat.

 

I don't know yet.

 

Instead, I will simply use this as inspiration

 

I guess after all this time, it's been ingrained into my mind that that's the way to say it. The ban was dumb anyway.

 

It's funny; I've been treating this Progress Report as a sort of public tulpa diary, but in this post I mentioned other people reading this, and thought about other people reading this, more than I think I have done in the past. Hmm.

 

Another two potential ideas I had for my tulpa's form were

 

This parsing out with clear-cut goals helps me to get it done.

 

The Library,

 

[Also, I now have a lounge. Brilliant idea. It's got a star door for IRL connection, and big portraits for portals to other places, and stairs to the main wonderland]

 

Well, I figure if I enter the wonderland the same way each time, and leave it the same way

: That would reinforce that door as doing something like exiting the wonderland

 

[This was my exact first thought when I encountered the word "Lounge" in your PR. I use the same "entrance animation" each time I walk in]

 

: I had door trouble once, too

: but that's besides the point