Lacquer's Box

[Lacquer]

I almost had another "flash" of what I imagine having a tulpa will be like, but something weird happened. It ended abruptly.

 

I was thinking about what will happen when I finally give her my memories (via the music box or whatever it is at the time), and I couldn't imagine her reaction. In fact, even concentrating on imagining it, I couldn't think of how she would act/behave differently. This also led me to wondering how she would act in general in the first place. Of course, now, typing this and looking at my progress report, I know, but it did feel weird then.'

 

I think I'll either make a thread about behavior before and after giving memories or see if a thread has already been made.

[Lacquer]

Oh hey, 2000 views.

[Lacquer]

Again, I did a thing where I spent probably only about five minutes in my wonderland doing not much. I'm getting pretty good at it. I'll do the ruler thing soon.

[Lacquer]

Zelda is a nice name. And before people ask, no, it does not have anything to do with the video game series. In fact, what first brought the idea of using this name wasn't even the game series. It seems I'm attracted to names beginning with Z. Zelda, Zephyr, Zoe. Hell, even the fake short name as a part of Elazabeth was Zabeth. I might just have to look at a list of names sorted alphabetically.

 

Just did that, nothing else seemed appealing. There was Zara and Zenith, but those don't sound right. I think that next update I'll compile all the names I've said in this thread.

 

I also changed the caption for the image at the top to "Lacquer Boxes" from "a Lacquer box".

[tulpatalk]

I am Lacquer. I don't want the accounts merged, because there was such a disconnect between me as tulpatalk and me as Lacquer. I'm the same horrible tulpa-maker, though. I'm not sure why, but I felt that I should tell this to the community. I'm abandoning this account after this post. Not deleting, but just not logging in as this account again.

[Lacquer]

Names:

Zelda, Zephyr, Kat, Andromeda, Zoe/Zoey, Athena, Artemis, Aldabaca, Birthday, Elizabeth, Cheryl/Sheryl, Chell, Tulpa, Psyche, Thought/Thoughts, Kastabia, and Anima. The ones that are striked out are bad, and I will not consider them in the future. Looking through some lists, I saw Atlanta/Atlantis, Electra, Echo, Isis, and Pandora. I like Greek mythological names.

 

Bleh, I'm focusing too much on the name and not enough on getting some progress done. Not good.

 

I am Lacquer. I don't want the accounts merged, because there was such a disconnect between me as tulpatalk and me as Lacquer. I'm the same horrible tulpa-maker, though. I'm not sure why, but I felt that I should tell this to the community. I'm abandoning this account after this post. Not deleting, but just not logging in as this account again.

 

This is true. Sorry, everyone.

[Lacquer]

[align=justify]April 27, 2013

 

I had a session in my wonderland, and I can tell I am getting better at it. It was not long, probably about eight or so minutes, maybe. Probably less.

 

It was in a noisy area, so I know my concentration skills are improving. If I manage to try again when it is quiet, I should be more productive.

 

At first I tried to do the thing with the ruler, but I quickly realized it was pointless. It just in general didn't work, and the lounge is stable enough as it is.

 

I went through and materialized and dematerialized a lot of things, including a sort of switchbox to turn off my hearing of the noises around me, but it didn't work.

 

I was sitting in a chair when I had this session, so one of the first things I did was emulate that position as closely as possible within the lounge. I did this using the chairs at the table in it. I then tried to move around using my body position in the real world as reference to what it should feel like. This was very successful.

 

I went to the couch and experimented with materializing food and changing my personal mindform in the wonderland. Both of these were successful.

 

I materialized a mat to sit on in the tiled area of the lounge next to the table, stand for the tulpabowl, and doors. I sat on it for a minute and tried pranayama breathing stuff for a very short time, and it seemed pretty good.

 

I checked the cheesy visualization of chest energy whateverthefuckitis, and that's working fine.

 

I added a doormat on the outside, so I have something to step on when outside the lounge and close the door before jumping into the etheral whatever surrounding it and waking up.

 

Earlier, I had some thoughts about quitting the lounge and freestyling it with no wonderland, but today's session changed my mind.

 

Goodnight,

Lacquer[/align]

[Lacquer]

Fuck it, I'm pluralizing it as "tulpa"

[Lacquer]

That, or after all of this just thinking, I have a tulpa already made in my head somewhere, just waiting for me to hear her!'

 

...fuck

[Lacquer]

All I know is that I really, really, need to get the fuck on the ball with this. Oh God, why am I so lazy about this? I need to get it done. I spent a large time on the forums today, and all that did was remind me how horrible I really am at actually getting stuff done. Shit, I might as well have a degree in Theoretical Tulpamaking from what I've done. But that's useless without a tulpa beside me. Bleh.