Lacquer's Box

[Lacquer]

The thing with this stuff is that one develops better concentration and that while working on the Tupla, one dont even need to have good concentration to make one (unless you want to be like the Tibetians :) I hardly do anything at all in a deep focused state on my Tulpa.

 

I cant visualise almost nil (Ive put in 50hrs in the past 3 weeks on my Tulpa but still cant visualise half his face well) but that hasnt stopped me from making another Tupla which is going very successfully and making daily progress. Ive not a clue what's really in his wonderland but that matters none at all either. One dont need skills to make a Tulpa, all one has needs is to know what one wants and do it.

 

My response to that is basically this:

 

If you arent comfortable about making a Tulpa.. that is a valid reason not to do it and admit to yourself that you need time to be comfortable first.

 

It's just different tulpamaking styles, and that's perfectly fine. Thanks for understanding.

 

Needing to have good concentration skills to be able to make a Tulpa is another excuse you are using to yourself.

 

Hah, I know. I think I've even ranted a tiny bit in one of the posts here about myself just making excuses for myself.

[Lacquer]

I just discovered that if I mouth the words, my internal mindvoice becomes much clearer. I'll apply this in the future.

[Lacquer]

I had a bit of a revelation today. Well, that's probably not the correct word, but whatever. I mean something that felt impactful to me. I was thinking about various tulpa things, when my train of thought led to switching. I realized at that moment that I had thought about switching in terms of me being the tulpa and not my tulpa being the human. I realized just how much of a difference it would be, and that it will be a major event when it happens.

 

I also thought of something else today, but I can't remember at the moment. I'll probably remember it tomorrow, and post it then.

[Lacquer]

Not the thing I mentioned yesterday I forgot, but something new:

 

I have decided that if I manage a full seven days straight of wonderland sessions longer than fourty minutes each, then on the eighth day, I will start on my tulpa.

[Lacquer]

I just remembered the thing I forgot yesterday! Oh man, it had been bothering me immensely that I had forgot it, but now I remember.

 

What it was was this idea for how to see my wonderland better. Thinking of Purlox's concentration guide (you know the one), I had the idea to do that, but sort of turned around. Rather than being stationary while the tulpa keeps thoughts away, the tulpa would instead help me see the wonderland. This would be done in the same way of putting her hands on my head, but facing the other way. She would either follow me around with her hands on my head, or (and I like the image associated with this one) she would be sitting my shoulders in a piggyback ride, still with her hands on my head. What she would do by this is sort of transmit the vivid visuals she has of the wonderland to me, to train me to see it vividly. Also, in the momentary "vision" associated with this, it varied between if she had her hands resting on my head or actually inside my head, like a ghost.

 

I also thought of a couple new things today.

 

One was be an idea for an interface on how to interact with my memories as I was younger. It was inspired by my thinking that I really do not remember how I acted when I was younger. This idea would have some sort of system generate some sort of temporary tulpa that is myself at a different age. I would then interact and interview my younger self for many perceivable benefits, most relating to self-understanding and putting myself in the shoes of younger people, along with the implied memory recall. Keep in mind, though, that this is all very, very hypothetical and highly unsupported by modern tulpa ideas.

 

Another thing I thought of today is how, when attempting possession, I do not want to take the road commonly traveled, and instead do something different. Rather than baby steps of "lift a finger five millimeters" and continuing on from there, I will do full-body switching first thing. Hopefully, attempting it in this form will lead to a more "clean" separation of my and my tulpa's control of my physical body.

 

Funny, right before writing this, I was relaxing and getting ready to do a wonderland session, clearing my mind and such, when I had drifted over to the topic of remembering the thing I forgot. It was weird. I mentally retraced my steps yesterday to see when, exactly, I could have thought of it. I had put myself in my own shoes at various times, and eventually (probably due to a sort of simulated State-dependent learning), I remembered.

 

Like I said in my farewell to Kiahdaj, I will get off my ass and make this tulpa. In fact, that was why I was getting ready for a wonderland session in the first place. I'm doing it for you, buddy. You and my tulpa and all the other people here who had to suffer through watching me fail spectacularly at making my tulpa.

[Lacquer]

I'm pluralizing it as tulpas now. Or maybe it's not fucking important and I can pluralize it as I wish. Whatever.

 

I thought of something else, but I don't have the time to type it out now. I'll leave some key words to remind me later: Shadow, Opposite, Self, Second Banana. Feel free to guess what it is.

[fennecfoxx]

I'll leave some key words to remind me later: Shadow, Opposite, Self, Second Banana. Feel free to guess what it is.

 

The first three words make me think it has something to do with your shadow (the psychological concept, not the shadow you cast on the ground).

 

As for Second Banana, I have no idea what that has to do with that, or anything.

[LLGyffes]

she would be sitting my shoulders in a piggyback ride, still with her hands on my head.

 

No matter what happens, from now on I will always picture your tulpa as Yoda.

[Lacquer]

Someone replied and didn't reprimand me for being a lazy sack of shit? Color me surprised.

 

As for what those mean, here we go:

 

Even thought I haven't started on my first tulpa (and I am definitely a one-tulpa guy), I have thought about what I will do after my first tulpa. Obviously, I will be doing as many experiments with my tulpa as possible, but when thinking about this, the topic of things I will do not involving my first tulpa (there's mindscape stuff I could do, but that's a different discussion). As you may have noticed, I have been saying "first" tulpa, which implies other tulpas after that one. This is what those three words mean. They are reminder words for ideas for my next tulpas.

 

"Shadow". This is pretty much the exact same thing as the Jungian shadow. This idea is a plan for making a tulpa out of my shadow, similar to how I am making my tulpa have strong connections to my Jungian anima. When making this, I would use methods similar to the tulpa making procedure in the creepypasta. Basically, this entails skipping all personality, making the form be the exact same as my physical body. An addition to this would be reinforcing the idea that he is my shadow by directly saying "you are my shadow". Of course, I would have to do much more research into Jungian archetypes before and while doing this. Honestly, I don't know if this is a good idea, a bad idea, or what. I had actually already said this idea in this PR at some point earlier, and I'm sure you could ctrl-f to find it.

 

"Opposite". I was thinking about the quote, "She also pointed out that maybe all the traits Brook has are the ones I wish I had myself." from the Therapists thread. For my first tulpa, this is clearly true for me. Looking at her traits, I can definitely see how they were modeled after a person I would like to be around, which includes the positive traits I have as well as positive traits I wish I had. When thinking about this, the idea of what if I made a tulpa with traits that were opposite of mine. I really would not know how it would turn out. Would the conflicting personalities create strife? Would we have a surprisingly good relationship from the vice-versa of the phrase "familiarity breeds contempt"? Would I grow as a person by learning to accept others with differing personalities? There is the question of how I would make this tulpa have the opposite personality, though. I, personally, do not consciously know my personality well enough to be able to do anything near to defining the traits I don't have. Maybe I could use the trait list for my first tulpa and choose opposite traits from that? But then it would be a tulpa opposite to my first tulpa, and not necessarily to me.

 

"Self". I also mentioned this earlier, and this is the simplest of the three ideas. It is basically a temporary tulpa (or more accurately just an interface for accessing memories and organizing thoughts) that I would use to help me remember myself as I was when I was younger. See, I have a very poor episodic memory (good semantic memory, though), and I find it impossible to remember what I was like as a kid. If I use this idea, I will essentially make a tulpa that is me as a kid at a set time. This may then be dissipated after I use it for its intended purpose. I still don't know how I would go about doing this, though.

 

The fourth thing, "Second Banana," was not an idea, but instead a concern with the ideas I had. As I said, I am a "one-tulpa man". I have always thought of myself as only having one tulpa, and that's it. Even then, when I would think little bits about having anything else close to a tulpa, it would be an experiment. Now that I'm looking at that from a serious angle, I don't know if these would be ethical. They would, from the get-go be "second banana" to my first tulpa. Now, at first glance, this seems horrible, but then again, all these are sort of experiments. They would know what they were made for. And the third one wouldn't even be a tulpa. Besides, we might end up loving each other anyway, and I could transition to a state of having multiple tulpas similar to others who treat all their tulpas equally.

 

This all seems complicated. I'll stick with making just one tulpa for now. Once she is done, I'll look back through this to see what to do next.

 

In other news, I'm going to start using "working together" or "working with" instead of "forcing".

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Oh hey, 3000+ views and a second page (in masterrace 100 posts per page view).

[Lacquer]

I like that term I came up with, "metamind". I'll use it from now on, but only here, inside my PR, until it catches on, if it ever does.

 

I like the name Coraline and it's shortened version Cora. Also Caroline, but Caro sounds weird, hah.