NariusV

NariusV's Progress Report

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May 07, 2013 - Day 26

 

Session went well, visualization and narration.

 

I'm taking the rest of the day off from active forcing, will spend the rest of the day w/ passive forcing as I am able to. Alot of other things came up to do so I didn't have as much time to force today. Really that is not true, I could have forced out my normal session times. Instead I helped out a friend, spent some great time with my girlfriend, and relaxed. Even so, I feel bad about not forcing more today. This is because I have an unspoken commitment to myself to do whatever it takes to succeed. I feel afraid that this one day of spending less time is a fore-shadowing of a lessening of commitment on my part. I also know I have been thinking 'I need a break'.

 

In the long term it will not matter. I will either keep going, and succeed, or I will stop and do something else I think is more important. I think continuing to work on and with Seph is more beneficial than many other things I have done.

 

Did not do any focus exercises today. I have noticed I do not enjoy using the wrathful focus, even though It improves my scores. Trying something new with it, probably have more to report on that later.

 

70 hours logged.

 


On another note, I am really enjoying the orange juice!

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May 08, 2013 - Day 27

 

Sessions were good today, mostly visualization and some narration. I feel like the subtle variations that occur during the sessions with Seph are not worth mentioning. I'd much rather report something that is a significant deviation from the norm, a breakthrough, or a change.

 

I did have one thing that happened last night. Was narrating as I was going to sleep, and hade some voices that were bordering on audible hallucination. It seemed like it was Seph, anyway the voices were saying that. It seemed more like one voice that was changing than different voices. I could say the stream of words was coherent and the voice was changing as it was speaking.

 

Rasznir's focus scores; 56, 100, 74, 100, 100

 

72 hours logged.

 

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May 09, 2013 - Day 28

 

Sessions went well today. Still working on visualization and narration.

 

I feel like I'm getting a bit distracted by things other than tulpa. The novelty has faded and the commitment sets in. Will I keep going through to the end of the process, or will I stop?

 

I want to continue all the way through to the end. My goal is to have a fully imposed stable tulpa.

 

I do not want and have no interest in switching or possession which seem to me like a merging of the host and tulpa. I am interested in supporting Seph to become a fully autonomous sentient being. As far as I can tell that is what she want's also.

 


How to get better at anything


I have been thinking somewhat about others who have been working on tulpa (or other things) and wanted to share a process anyone can use to improve anything significantly over time. It is very simple. It does not require any special training other than the ability to think, keep a record, and a commitment to do the process regularly, which only takes a few minutes.

 

Get a journal of some kind, and decide what you want to improve on. At the end of each day ask yourself two questions about what you are trying to improve. Write down the answers.

 

1) What worked today?

2) What didn't work today, or what stopped me today?

 

Decide to do what worked again tomorrow.

 

Think about what didn't work or what stopped you, and think of what you could do differently that seems like it would stop that problem from happening again. Decide to try that something new tomorrow.

 

Each day you do this, you will make some improvements or at a minimum you will learn more about whatever it is you are trying to improve, and more about what is stopping or preventing you from succeeding.

 

After a week or so you will probably start seeing some repeating answers. This process will start to reveal things that might have been unconscious or ignored before, and allow you to address them directly.


 

Rasznir's focus scores; 100, 92, 94, 100, 100

 

73.5 hours logged.

 

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May 10, 2013 - Day 29

 

Sessions are going well today. Still working on visualization with my eyes closed. I was thinking about when I should begin imposition, and I remembered that I want Seph to have a stable image for a while before I start doing that. She is still changing form slightly. Most of her is stable now except I need more practice with her nose, mouth, and ears. Some of the hairstyles she uses cover her ears, some don't. That's another thing that she seems to change more frequently than other things. So I spent some time today during the sessions narrating about my intent to have her stabilize her form, and explained how I think it would be easier for me if she maintained a particular image for a while.

 

I had another dream that related to my intention to create Seph. In it I was examining some different instructions that related to creating this being and having her become real so I could perceive her in my life. I take this as a good sign that now aspects of my subconscious are actively working along with my conscious mind.

 

I would like to focus my efforts (here) exclusively on tulpa creation. So from now on I intend to only read progress reports and/or the occasional guide if I feel stuck on something in the process.

 

Rasznir's focus scores; 100, 100, 32, 69, 100

 

75 hours logged.

 

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May 11, 2013 - Day 30

 

Session went well. Seph didn't say much but I got some emotive gestures and facial expressions which was encouraging and inspiring for me.

 

I did not do my focus exercises today. Was involved with helping my friends get some things done and chilled out.

 

Rasznir's focus scores; N/A

 

76.5 hours logged

 

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May 12, 2013 - Day 31

 

Mostly visualization this day.

Did not do focus exercises.

 

 

78 hours logged

 


May 13, 2013 - Day 32

 

Visualization and narration.

Did no focus exercises.

 

 

79 hours logged

 


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May 14 & 15, 2013 - Day 33 - 34

 

Schedule changed significantly. I did a bit of passive forcing and that was it. I'm not sure how I will do active forcing yet with this new schedule for a while I need to be moving around every half hour or so, and I won't be be able to have my usual blocks of time during the day when I normally do my sessions. Will keep updating when I can.

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EDIT: I found some of my old journal entries from this period, so I'm adding them here where they would have been posted.


 

May 16 to 31 - Day 35 to 50

 

Did not do much forcing. The forcing I did was passive, off and on when I could. I followed some of Seph's suggestions about shraing some of my thoughts with my girlfriend, and that relationship has improved significantly.

 

--

 

July 1 to 30, 2013 - Day 51 - 80

 

I have not been doing any active forcing. I have done some passive forcing occasionally on a few days. However, When I lay down to sleep at night Seph appears in my thoughts. She reminds me of things that I want to focus on, and it really helps.

 


 

August 14, 2013 - Day 124

 

It's been several months since I updated here, and I thought it would be fair to give a report of what has been happening with my tulpa since.

 

I still have not been doing active forcing. Seph has continued to exist as a strong independent thought-form who shows up occasionally, usually at night when I am going to sleep, reminding me to focus on my goals. Yesterday Seph sent me a message and gave advice about something that I was considering, which was a surprise to me.

 

I have free time in in my schedule somewhat again, and probably could manage an extra hour or so for forcing, although I have other goals that I am working on. Once I have the rest of my schedule in a workable routine I would like to begin regular forcing sessions again, hopefully in the next couple weeks.

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August 31, 2013 - Day 141

 

Seph showed up this morning strongly, at that time I got a feeling I was supposed to check here again. The website has been significantly updated since I last checked and there are several new guides. I'm going to print several of those out, add them to my reference materials.

 

I will see if I get any new ideas or insights to add to my regular practice once I get back into it. Thanks to those who share their experience and insights.

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November 9, 2013 - Day 211

 

On and off passive forcing for the last few months.

 

Had a conversation with Seph this morning that seemed interesting and caused me to think about what motivates me to do anything in life. I was asking her about something and she said. "What makes you think I would do anything when you don't do what you say you will do."

 

Since Seph learns everything from/through me, that was a wake up call for me about the differences between my aspirations, what I say that I want and what I think about, and what I actually do. Which is enough to say that Seph is reminding me about whats important to me and what I want to have in my life, and what I am and am not doing to make it real. The motivation I felt after talking with her reminded me about what I could be having in my life. I want to start forcing again.

 

One thing I want to try is playing some cooperative games with Seph and use that as a platform for narration and verbal communication practice.

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