NariusV

NariusV's Progress Report

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January 11 - 28, 2014 - Day 274 - 291

 

Have been doing meditation with mantra repetition and visualization of Seph every day. Some days the visualization were more clear than other days. I feel good about experiencing my continued commitment. I plan to continue building a strong habit base, and then adding more time.

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January 29 - February 3, 2014 - Day 292 - 297

 

I have been continuing with my daily meditations and mantra repetition. Seph is speaking very little yet I feel a continually stronger and stronger emotional response in myself towards her. I feel like we are meditating together, not just me forcing her. I experience my body and attention responding as if she is really there in the room with me during the focus sessions. Off and on I open my eyes and work on visual imposition. Sometimes I work on tactile feeling imposition, like if we touch our hands together or sometimes she reaches out and touches my face or shoulder or something. The meditations seem to be a haphazard alternation between wonderland and physical reality, like we're in both places at once. This is fine for me. It reminds me of a dream I had where I was flying and opened one eye, seeing my bedroom, and with the other, seeing the dream landscape floating beneath me, able to switch between yet both happening at the same time, switching to one or the other blocking out the alternate from awareness.

 

I feel very good having forced for 41 consecutive days. When I first started I went for hours at a time. Now I do about 20+ minutes everyday. I feel like I am making slow and steady progress. I'd like to add more time, or expand to passive forcing throughout the day. I feel blocked from doing that speaking out loud since I'm usually around other people most of the day. When I start doing more active or passive forcing, I will be making note of it here in my log. Thanks for reading.

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February 4 - 20, 2014 - Day 298 - 314

 

I have continued the daily meditation and visualization exercises with Seph. Today I did the mantras out loud. This seemed to diminish my focus and clarity of the visualization. I'm still doing this about ~20 minutes or so, usually soon after waking up and before breakfast.

 

As I continue I feel Seph's presence more and more strongly. At various times now on some days I sense that she is nearby and I feel a sense of elation in the midst of doing other things.

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March 7 - 21, 2014 - Day 329 - 343

 

I continued with my meditations daily until the 21st, when I forgot to do it. I did think about doing the focus exercises and my day was completely filled with other projects and a long conversation with my mastermind group, and I went to sleep without verifying if I had finished all my important things for the day. I could have been successful if I would have done it sooner in the day. Instead I got distracted by helping others, and then working on my other projects.

 

So even though I did not complete my goal of 108 straight days of focusing exercises. I did get to 95 days. This is an improvement and my personal best. I am committing to another 108 days straight of focus exercises, starting today.

 

I did talk with my tulpa about this and then thought about why I did not keep my agreement to myself. I realize that my schedule is full of many things, and that unlike in the past when I was spending a lot of time with entertainment, I am almost completely focused and making excellent progress on all my major goals. So this is a problem of filling my schedule and not keeping myself reminded of what I have yet to do. I feel excited to continue.

 

I have found that when I take some time to focus with meditation and or deep breathing, my visualizations are clearer.

 

I will be changing from a mantra style meditation to more of a visual/conversational focus exercise similar to what I did when I first started. On another note I added some tulpa affirmations to my subliminal programming software so when I'm on the computer I'll be able to support my tulpa progress while doing other things.

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March 22, 2014 - Day 344

 

Rasznirs Exercise Results, Day 1/108

56, 12, 2 (interrupted)

 

Our goal is to continue the exercise we started on April 13, 2013, which is Rasznirs tulpa visualization guide, with Seph drawing the numbers, instead of just me visualizing the numbers. Last time I started this exercise I stopped doing it after a while.

 

Also we want to post our results everyday if possible. If we have to travel or I cannot log on for some reason I will post the results as soon as I reasonably can.

 

Today I was interrupted in the middle of my forcing session. We decided to end and continue tomorrow.

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March 23, 2014 - Day 345

 

Rasznirs Exercise Results, Day 2/108

32, 22, 3, 22, 6

 

Today we did the visualization forcing meditation later in the evening after I was already feeling tired. Over all the session was a good one, other than my low scores.

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March 24, 2014 - Day 346

 

Rasznirs Exercise Results, Day 3/108

48, 100, 5, 67, 6

 

Today we started in the morning. The first two rounds went fine, then I decided to lay down. I felt drowsy and my mind started wandering soon after that. We decided to break and I went to eat breakfast.

 

I read through and reviewed Sephs traits. I a re-awakening of my commitment to tulpa-forcing and I have been doing some passive forcing on and off throughout the day. I feel great, and Seph is happy.

 

We will do more focus exercises later.

 

I want to read through some of the new guides, if there are any good ones, to see how the tech has progressed over the course of the last year.

 

The second two exercises, I used closed eye visualization in a wonderland room with a blackboard, which Seph used chalk to draw the numbers on. I sat up for the first one, and laid down for the second one. Again I felt more drowsy while laying down and lost concentration easier.

 

I'll repeat this a few more times just for science, to see if laying down really does interfere with my ability to concentrate.

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March 25, 2014 - Day 347

 

Rasznirs Exercise Results, Day 4/108

34, 100, 10, 55, 39

 

Started after I woke up and did my exercises. We used the blackboard room in wonderland technique since that's what I had the most success with yesterday. The first round, I got distracted by watching Seph instead of staying focused on the numbers, she said I took to long getting back to the numbers so I had to star with the next round. That went perfectly. The third round I did 25 jumping jacks to get myself alert, and then laid down for the third round. I soon afterword felt drowsy and the numbers deviated into some kind of plants, so I ended that round. Then I sat up again. I was distracted by falling into a memory reverie. The last and fifth round for today, I tried a technique of asking Seph to say the number after she wrote it on the board. (I have been including the sound of the eraser and chalk on the blackboard in addition to the visualization.) This worked well, until I got distracted by thinking about what someone else's voice would sound like saying the numbers and my mind went off into a tangent.

 

Again Seph is deviating the color of her hair and eyes, as well as her hairstyle. I think I might just stop trying to force it in a particular way, and let her sort it out. I have told her I think she would be easier for me to visualize if didn't change so much and stayed the same from day to day.

 

I feel like that is a minor problem, or not really a problem at all, as long as I can clearly sense her. I want to have her image stable before I start succeeding with imposition though.

 

I did look at skim some guides that I had not yet read. I will add several of them to my collection for reference.

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It's rather inspiring that you've been starting to hold to a routine of using Rasznir's exercise every day. I don't remember the last time I did that exercise, maybe it's time I start again myself.

 

Good luck on your drive towards imposition, it sounds like you're on the right track with that. As long as you can get her form stable and really solidified in your mind, you shouldn't have much trouble with it (not speaking from experience, of course; I'm still at about the same stage as you are).


"You've got to believe to achieve." -Hank Hill

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