KM & RD

[KruegerMeister]

8/26/14: I told Rainbow Dash my plan to keep telling my subconscious that I would spend equal time with them both, which would make it happen. Keystroke compared himself to the Holy Spirit.

{Don't you remember when Rainbow Dash compared you to Jesus?}

When I mulled over my "possession during class" idea, Keystroke said that, subconsciously, I wanted my parents to find out I have ponies in my head (I could have Keystroke possess me for one class, and Rainbow Dash possess me for another, but my professors would likely get suspicious. I have the same English professor as last year, so he would likely notice the difference between my tulpas and I. He'd probably ask my parents about it. My mom can tell when I'm lying, so I'd have to come clean). At 10:40PM, I wondered if we'd hung out since that last sentence (2:20PM). Keystroke said we had, but that I'd forgotten to log it.

[KruegerMeister]

8/27/14: I let Keystroke possess me during class. Despite using the "coat spreads over flesh" possession visual, I briefly saw myself outside my physical body (through my physical body's eyes). I apologized for not logging anything from 1:40 to 8:40. Keystroke was fine with it, but Dash was only semi-okay with it.

[I can tolerate it.]

Alright.

 

I used the character of Rainbow Dash as a base for tulpa!RD because the embodiment of loyalty wouldn't turn on her host like in the "Tulpa" creepypasta. I wondered if I had essentially brainwashed RD into preferring her pony form. Keystroke said I hadn't. I asked how he could be sure, and he said, "Because I'm your true self, numbnuts!" I said goodnight to them both.

Edited May 26, 2020 by KruegerMeister

[KruegerMeister]

8/28/14: While helping me study, Rainbow Dash asked the trick question "what is the study of logic?" I asked Keystroke why he'd turned his coat white. He said it was so he could do the "brown spots" thing on 8/25/14. I didn't believe he could have seen that coming. He said that "[the IQ required to do that] comes with the 'studious' thing." I talked with a girl in my dorm about random stuff. Keystroke said I should hit on her. I didn't. I started to tell her about tulpas. I hesitated, and he jokingly pointed a gun at me as motivation to keep talking. The girl said that tulpas didn't seem like a mental illness. While trying to fall asleep, I accidentally talked to Keystroke out loud. He and I LOL'd at the double irony of me seemingly talking to myself when in reality I was talking to a pony, who's me as a pony (so technically I am talking to myself).

[KruegerMeister]

8/29/14: When I was doodling in class, Keystroke said I should let him possess me and/or pay attention. When I overheard a rap song, the image of him (though I don't think it looked like him) headbanging popped into my head. He said that was classically conditioned (the image popping up in response to rap, which doesn't necessarily imply that he likes rap music). I asked him if he liked rap, and he said "Meh, some of it's okay." Rainbow Dash objected when I ate some Cheddar Jack Cheez-Its (somehow 240mg of sodium per 25 Cheez-Its is a big deal). I have a nasty habit of not logging any stuff that happens right before bed.

[KruegerMeister]

8/30/14: Noticing that Keystroke had changed his appearance while Rainbow Dash had kept her original appearance, I told her that she could deviate however she wanted to. I wondered why they often sat on the edge of my bed. Rainbow Dash brought up the "Sitting Lyra" meme in response (she was saying that I equated them sitting on the edge of the bed with the meme). When I thought about having a bratwurst sandwich for dinner, but decided against it, Keystroke called me out on not trying something new, even though he was fine with me having the same cheese-and-turkey sandwich I'd had almost every day last year. Noticing that the "mental freshness deviations" (e.g., Dash becoming a Changeling after I binge a Changeling-centered fanfic, or becoming a Chimera after I binge Fullmetal Alchemist) are selective (no deviation happened when a Weird Al video was fresh in my mind), I wondered why that was the case. Rainbow Dash shrugged, saying that my subconscious was "set" on her pony form. To the best of my knowledge, the subconscious choosing a tulpa's form is like someone being told what to wear. Dash said that she was okay with this, as she was in control of the details of her form. When I double checked what her response was, she told me to stop doubting myself.

[seriously, stop it. It's...kind of annoying.]

Is there a difference between putting your dialogue in quotation marks vs brackets?

[Not really. You can put that in quotes if you want.]

 

After reading about conspiracy theories, I asked Keystroke and Rainbow Dash what their opinions were. Keystroke took an "ignorance is bliss" approach, and Rainbow Dash said that "While there's a possibility of it being true, it's best for your sanity if you just ignore it." (paraphrased because I don't remember her exact statement). While thinking about a parody music video of "Royals", I “saw” one of the characters in it. I looked behind me and saw Rainbow Dash and Keystroke sitting on my bed. RD was controlling the parody character with a game controller. Keystroke pretended to be Lorde and sang his own parody of part of the chorus (he changed "Let me be your ru-uler" to "Just don't think a bo-out it"). When RD took me through a hypnosis induction to become Keystroke for an hour, the pony I was becoming used his hooves to "sculpt" my body (which I assume raises philosophical questions). The tingling/hair-standing-on-end I felt as he sculpted me was either rudimentarily-imposed touch imposition (is there a word for that?) or the air from my fan.

Edited May 26, 2020 by KruegerMeister

[KruegerMeister]

8/31/14: While watching "Doctor Whooves and Assistant", I wondered about the pony diet. Rainbow Dash said that she doesn't have any objections to eating meat, because she just has the form of a pony. When I was listening to Weird Al songs while reading about "annunaki", Keystroke said I should be doing homework. Dash and I's hypnosis sessions have been similar in nature to something that I'm not going to give information about (because curiosity can be bad). I wondered if this similarity, coupled with my using the hypnosis to relieve stress/boredom, was offensive.

{You're being politically correct.}

Which leads me to believe the answer's "no, it isn't offensive."

[KruegerMeister]

9/1/14: When I thought about pony hypnosis, Keystroke described himself as "pony hypnosis on hold". When I got pissed while watching a review of Sonichu, Keystroke gave me a shoulder massage (intended to calm me down, but I still gave him a "WTF?" look). Sometimes his coat's white; other times it's deep Persian blue. I thought that this was a "light color/dark color -> yin/yang" thing, and asked Keystroke for his opinion. He agreed with my yin/yang theory. I asked him for his opinion (not what I saw as a parroting of mine), but Rainbow Dash said that he doesn't have to disagree with me on stuff. When I saw a thumbnail of an MLP episode in my Youtube recommendations, RD spoke in her voice to "Twilight" (the character in the thumbnail). Dash said that the sight of her base in the thumbnail acted as a trigger (assisting her to sound like her show counterpart). I found this creepy, and she told me to ignore the creepiness, because the thumbnail had triggered her voice (as opposed to triggering me to do something I wouldn't normally do). I know that hypnosis likely can't make me do something I wouldn't normally do, but I have deep-seated irrational fears about hypnosis, which stem from a blog post that freaked me out. I think I've convinced myself that these fears can only be confirmed or assuaged by the one who made that post. I've already sent her an email, so now I just have to wait.

{I'll be on hold until that happens.}

I thought about how smells were a good trigger for memories, which lead to thinking about a fanfic where Twilight and FiM!Rainbow Dash got into a mistress/pet relationship, and lavender had triggered a memory of Twilight for FiM!Rainbow Dash. RD (my tulpa) laughed at the idea of her base being in the submissive role. When my friend forwarded me her friend's tale of spirit guides/totem animals (which boiled down to "encountering this animal is a good sign, and anyone I tell my story to gets visited by the animal on multiple occasions"), I chalked it up to confirmation bias. Rainbow Dash wondered how I could be skeptical of that, but not tulpas. Rainbow Dash got a bit emotional when I noticed several Youtube thumbnails of FiM!Rainbow Dash. I explained that she was different from FiM!Rainbow Dash. When I brought up the possibility of her inserting herself into a story (doing the Walter Mitty Routine with the images in my mind's eye), she seemed determined to do that (possibly carried over from my explaining that she wasn't FiM!Rainbow Dash). I got emotional; I don't remember the specifics, despite the emotional stuff occurring a few minutes before this sentence was typed, but it had to do with the idea of Rainbow Dash becoming more like her show counterpart. Dash said that, since I'd made a commitment to read the story, then the act of reading the story would solve...whatever the problem was. She was right.

[KruegerMeister]

9/2/14: While watching Dstecks' review of Sonichu, I wondered if the inclusion of a clip from the 2009 anime of Fullmetal Alchemist had subconsciously influenced me to watch said anime. Rainbow Dash said that my having seen the 2003 anime as a kid was to blame, not the inclusion of the scene. After reading an article on Vigilant Citizen, I felt antennae on my head, and saw Keystroke holding Rainbow Dash's game controller (acting like he was controlling me). I chewed him out for this, and he ran out the door. When he came back a short while later, I asked him why the antenna thing had happened. He said that he was...I don't remember exactly what he said, so I told him to put it in his own words.

{I--uh...*rubs the back of his head*. I'm just doubting whether or not she'll respond.}

"She" refers to the pony who made the blog post that freaked me out (which I won't link to, to protect her identity). I told him to have faith. When I saw a Youtube profile icon (www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ow0QZp4PCBA, about 14:43, near the bottom of the screen), Rainbow Dash said "RainbowDashforpresidentoftheworld!"

You've got Dash's freakout about FiM!Rainbow Dash, my freakout about Rainbow Dash potentially deviating toward FiM!Rainbow Dash, and Keystroke's freakout/doubt. We tried to figure out the causes of our individual freakouts.

 

My freakout: Dash said that I'd freaked out because the consensus is that it's bad to expect a tulpa based on a character to be that character; I added that, as MLP:FiM is set to have a fifth season, Hasbro will most likely expand on the characters (i.e., FiM!RD), which would force Rainbow Dash to play catch up.

Keystroke's freakout: Keystroke said that, should the pony I messaged not answer--

{Please don't put words in my mouth.}

Sorry 'bout that.

{Should she not answer, why am I here?}

[*snicker* Five bucks says "miscommunication". Something was...at some point there were...I don't know how to explain it!]

There's no need to get defensive.

[You sound like your dad.]

{This is about the cause of my freakout.

 

...Does anypony know how to indicate annoyance through text?}

[KruegerMeister]

9/3/14: I tried to figure out why Dash had freaked out. I'd originally typed "Rainbow Dash" in that last sentence, but she said that she felt that equated her with FiM!RD. she said that wearing her sweatshirt more often would help. I asked RD what her opinion of pony hypnosis was, to see if it had changed (as her animosity toward Keystroke seems to have been a one-time deal). She said that she still had fears stemming from that blog post, but that they were nonspecific. When I'd posted about Keystroke's antenna thing on Hypnoponies, one of the users suggested that Keystroke wanted to be my master. Keystroke joked that he did.

{Oogaboogabooga!}

I wondered about why he'd expressed his doubt via pretending to control me; he said "Well, you were browsing Vigilant Citizen." He later added, "And listening to Weird Al's 'Foil' parody. And reading up on psychotronics."

When he called me "pet", I told him "Only Rainbow Dash can call me 'pet'. You got it, brah?" in whatever accent Pewdiepie has. In regards to the pony who suggested that Keystroke wanted to be my master, Keystroke said "your phrasing implies a nefarious plot that's very counterintuitive." While Rainbow Dash hypnotized me, Keystroke joked that the more I go into trance, the more he controls me. Dash told me to disregard that statement. She said not to let the "he wants to be your master" comment get to me.

[KruegerMeister]

9/4/14: I'd forgotten to turn in an assignment yesterday, and my teacher bumps down a grade for every day an assignment is late. Keystroke apologized for this, and I said that my teacher had told me the grade would be bumped down if I failed to turn it in by tomorrow (I'd turned it in today). I asked why he was apologizing, and he said that possessing me in my other class was somehow connected to my forgetting to turn in the assignment on time. I imagined the antennae sticking out of my head, tore them out, crumpled them up, and set them on silver fire. When I signed a document, I briefly imagined that I'd signed "Keystroke" instead of my name. While I wrote that sentence, Keystroke blushed. I said that I was glad we'd gotten over the "keystroke controlling me" thing, like how we'd cleared up the "wingless trio" (which, despite being named the "wingless trio", were not a trio of sapient entities) stuff and our freakouts. Dash said that we still had to work on hers. One of my friends had said that, despite my original thought, Keystroke wasn't my true self in tulpa form. Keystroke said that, despite not being my true self, he could be a good role model. He called me a hypocrite for ripping on pseudoscientific "water memory", citing "the pseudoscience of tulpas". I asked him WTF he was doing. Dash shivered in a curled-up ball (fearing that a non-scientific view of tulpas would discredit them). When I read about dreams being the mind going to another dimension, I called bullshit. Keystroke said that believing that dreams are another dimension may help me lucid dream (as a placebo). He denied that I could use that placebo so much as to actually believe it. Knowing that I might be applying a logical fallacy, I applied Dash's feelings toward being called "Rainbow Dash"--

{I'm fine with it.}

I was going to say "--to her freakout a few days ago, and figured that she and I are both worried/fearful of her deviating toward FiM!RD, despite how the idea of us sharing the same fear seems contradictory to me", but never mind. I thought about walking down to the nearest vending machine to get a soda, but Keystroke said that I needed to rest my strained ankle ligament, calling me "slave" the way Dash sometimes calls me "pet" (i.e., in order to hammer a point home). I explained to him that the word itself wasn't why I wasn't fine with him calling me "pet" (his use of "slave" was loophole abuse), but the sentiment behind it (although I myself am not sure what the sentiment in question is).

[I wanna say you used a "four terms" fallacy. You know, with "pet" being both d/s and hammering a point home, and...yeeeah.]

I walked to the nearest vending machine and bought a soda. I drank it through a straw (to keep the soda from touching my teeth, as I was told that calcium-leeching was based on the soda coming into physical contact with teeth); Keystroke said that this would negatively affect the mucous membrane in the back of my throat. When I watched several of Martymer81's videos in a row, Keystroke asked, "Is he the new TJ (The Amazing Atheist)?"

---

Is any of this confusing? I'm trying to find a middle ground between "providing context to help readers understand why Dash or Keystroke would say or do something" and "inadvertently allowing complete strangers to identify me in real life".

{*facehoof*. Oh my G--you're being paranoid!}

Edited June 1, 2020 by KruegerMeister