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KM & RD


KruegerMeister
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8/1/14: I tried to figure out how big Rainbow Dash's head was. We agreed that it had a diameter the length of two iPhones (though now that I think about it, it's probably more like the length of an iPad). While taking a bath, I asked her what she thought about life. She thanked me for creating her. I said "No problem. Science (as in the neuroscience that allows tulpa creation) is awesome." She asked why, if that was true, was I writing a fantasy series? I countered by pointing out that my magic system was more like science. I "got her back" for her comment about nude pics/grossed her out by asking if I should trim my pubic hair. When I went to the drive-thru for lunch, I ordered a regular coke as my drink. RD said that a diet coke would be healthier. I looked it up, and diet soda may be linked to disease. While watching videos by The Amazing Atheist, Dash and I talked about the difference between being brainwashed to like some thing and that thing growing on you (other than the immorality of one who perpetrates brainwashing).

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That's the way I write magic too. I always have to have a very detailed system that works logically. If there's a way to do something with science, I try to do things that way first.

 

Not many people know, but science fiction writer Isaac Asimov wrote some fantasy stories too. I remember in one of his fantasy stories, the king gave the knight a lance which (to paraphrase) "was very light and very strong because it was made of a magic metal called 'aluminum'." It's a bit less magical than the way I write, but I still like that quote.

 

I recently found Mastering Astral Projection in my books. I don't know if I'm going to review it in my PR because I'm not sure how much the methods will apply to making tulpas, but it seems like a useful book. It says you can learn to project in 90 days. I'm going to try it, and I thought I'd recommend it to you too.

"Some things have to be believed to be seen." - Ralph Hodgson

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8/2/14: When my friends wanted to go kayaking, Rainbow Dash got me to join them. When I passed a woman wearing a black hat, black dress with a fur hood, and black gloves with fur trim, she (Dash) whistled. I told her that I wasn't sexually attracted to the woman, and she responded by saying that I was attracted to the mystique of a woman wearing all black, with fur too, in summer (and that's why she'd whistled). I realized after several minutes that her whistle was a sassy action, and asked how often she was sassy. She said "I'm totally sassy!" (implying that she was sassy more than I was aware of it). I found a canker sore in my mouth. Dash said that it would go away if I ignored it. After hanging out with a friend I hadn't seen in several months, RD said in his voice that (paraphrased) "it's an empathic shapeshifting thing".


Thanks for thinking of me (sorry if that sounds sexual), but I don't really think I'll have time to to check that book out. How do you link things?

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I think learning about astral projection could be useful for learning possession and switching because it will teach you how to dissociate from your body, if you are interested in eventually trying those things.

Host: Sakura

Tulpa: Sarah (began June 5th, 2014), Alyx (Began July 23rd, 2014)

Our shared tumblr

note: usually browsing on mobile, so cannot quote properly

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I don't know. When I was in high school, my mom said I had an addictive personality, so I might switch too much. Plus, I've got an irrational fear of going through the same things Koomer & Oguigi did. I know that their problems were due to Koomer seeing a hand in the corner of his eye--

[That was a "protection" thing.]

Lemme explain that. One time, I saw Dash's hoof at the edge of my vision. She was using the thing that had caused Koomer & Oguigi's problems to prevent me from having those same problems (which doesn't really make sense).

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(edited)

8/3/14: Dash and I didn't hang out much, until 3:30PM. She said that she was fine despite this. She LOL'd at Chris-Chan's odd sayings, like "pure love sweeter than a passionate strawberry" and "happy-dappy day" (here's a link to the video those phrases are from:

). I asked her if, when I typed her bracketed dialogue, she felt like I was roleplaying or parroting her. She said no.

 

While working on my stories, I came up with the idea of a monster screwing the promiscuous character to death. Rainbow Dash agreed with me that this idea was 100% unintentionally hilarious (or at least, the scene couldn't be written in a way that wasn't unintentionally funny). She hypnotized me to be my Ponysona. This time, she mentioned various details like the facts that my mane and tail were styled to be spiky, my eyes were cyan, and my vocal chords were such that I had a British accent like keikoandgilly (voice actor of Doctor Whooves in "Doctor Whooves and Assistant").

Edited by KruegerMeister
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8/4/14: While browsing the MLP Fan Labor Wiki, I had the thought that I'd have to hide ponies from my parents in addition to tulpas, because MLP could lead them to the tulpa thread on mlpforums.com. Rainbow Dash rhetorically asked what the chances of that were. She got excited at the thought of going to Disneyland during a vacation, even though she'd never been there. I thought about typing her explanation of this (she knew about it from my memories), several times, but when I started to type it she said I was "kind of" parroting. When I felt the wind blowing, I contemplated reimposing that detail on Rainbow Dash, but she said, "Nah...I mean, you need to have something different from reality" (so that I don't forget that she's not corporeal).

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(edited)

8/5/14: I started to ask Rainbow Dash which meme of Celestia she liked best, but she turned it into that "fuck, kill, marry" game: she'd fuck Trollestia, kill Molestia, and marry Tyrantlestia.

When I read Techoh's post on tulpa.info about a "revolution" and questioned the necessity of getting mainstream society to see past the tulpa creepypasta and other negative press, Dash asked, "Well how would you feel (if people said you weren't real)?".

 

I thought about what kind of relationship we have; assuming we're lovers, then I've kind of trapped myself in a corner: the norm is for one's significant other to be corporeal and a human, but I'm in love with someone who's neither of those; I can't marry someone who fits the norm without feeling unfaithful to Dash, but while I could just marry someone as a facade, I'm not really attracted to the human body, and my hypothetical wife would probably get suspicious about the lack of sex. Dash responded by saying that she was okay with the possibility of this "polygamy" (being in love with her while simultaneously being married) and that I could always rewire my brain so that I am attracted to the human body. She said that "It's not an affair if you're not having sex with multiple partners" (paraphrased).

 

We did the Walter Mitty Routine with "The Fault in Our Stars". During the "20th Century Fox" opening, she flew across the screen, waved, and cheered, "Let's do this!". When the characters packed for their trip to Amsterdam, Dash danced along to the background music. During the "pre-funeral" scene, I got the idea to practice possession, then and pre-record her eulogy for my funeral. I also wondered about the idea of a tulpamancer's funeral being a funeral for two, because (according to my knowledge) death is like this: the heart stops, the brain keeps going for a bit, and then neurons start decaying; tulpa-neurons and host-neurons decay at the same time. We planned for her prerecorded eulogy to be the end of my funeral, since I want it to end on as happy a note as possible. I wondered if I'd be a bad person if I put her through that. She said that I wouldn't be putting her through anything, she'd be recording her eulogy willingly.

Edited by KruegerMeister
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(edited)

8/6/14: I talked to Rainbow Dash about it, and she said that maybe my funeral shouldn't include a eulogy given by a person only I can sense. While thinking about my stories, she said that I shouldn't use dream sequences to provide characterization. I responded by pointing out that the monster in my stories attacks through dream sequences, so why not provide characterization during a plot point? She said that I had problems with forgetting to log small things (like our talk about my forgetting to log small things), and that those interactions add up. I guess I one-upped her by logging this.

Dash said that I "stuck too close" to MLP:FiM's Rainbow Dash by giving my Rainbow Dash the trait of "good-hearted prankster". I said that she can always deviate away from that trait. While I typed that last sentence, she said that she already did. While I typed that last sentence, she said that she didn't say that she already did (deviate away from being a prankster). I asked her what her deal was, and she said "Need...attention...". Turns out she was pulling my leg with that bit. While typing the previous sentence, she said that she was giving me what I deserve for worrying about her too much (I'd skip a day of tulpaforcing, then ask if it negatively affected her). I asked her about the "good-hearted prankster" bit, and she said that I didn't stick too close to FiM!RD.

I posted on the MLP tulpa thread, asking if I was the only one to have experienced something like the above paragraph. While making my post, Dash said that everything from the above paragraph was all a big prank. I later asked her about that, and she said it was "one of those Momentary Mysteries" (like how binging FMA made her take the form of a chimera, or how binging Deception is Magic had made her a Changeling). Some time before the aforementioned stuff where Dash was pranking me/changing her stories, I'd been working on my custom Tarot deck. At 7:30PM, Dash brought up the meaning of the "Judgement" card, implying that waiting until my funeral to reveal her existence was a fear response, and that I should take initiative and just plain reveal her existence. She offered the following reason: "I mean, your mom did say she'd heard you talking to someone" (referring to a few nights ago, when I'd been talking out loud, either about I-don't-know-what to Dash or about my stories to myself).

When I kissed my cat on her forehead, Dash asked WTF I was doing. There's a villain in my stories who pretends to be an evil tulpa; Rainbow Dash said that the villain should provide as unrealistic a portrayal of tulpas as possible, saying that "If it's fake (unrealistic), they won't buy it." I once saw a picture of a deformed kid, and my memory of the image that caused Dash's Lanky form is fuzzy. Rainbow Dash said that I should look at the Lanky pic and un-fuzz the memory of it to desensitize myself to it. I said that this would bring the intrusive thought of that form back, and she replied that it didn't do that when I sought out the picture of the deformed kid. Dash said that she was "kind of irritated" about my pseudo-tulpa villain. While I typed that, she said she was "totally irritated!" I called her out on her story-changing. Before bed, I used a domination/submission trance as a "framework" to ask for forgiveness for irritating her. I then asked if doing a sacred, non-sexual Christian (I don’t recall why, but the asking seemed kinda religious) thing in a normally-sexual framework would piss off Christians, and Dash said that there weren't any Christians around to know (since it took place in my mind).

Edited by KruegerMeister
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8/7/14: While reading about skepticism of tulpas, Rainbow Dash laughed at their calling tulpas dangerous. When one of the posters mentioned the word "discarnate", Dash said, "I prefer the term 'incorporeal'." While thinking about my pseudo-tulpa villain, I came up with his goal: interact with his "host" so much that her neurons make a bunch of new connections. Somehow, this will alter the wrinkles/folds of her brain to create a magical symbol that will keep her from getting rid of him. While I acted out the scene where he sadistically explains this, Dash said that I was evil, because I came up with the villain's plan. While reading an email, I got a new email. My first thought was that this second email was to notify me of someone responding to a post I made on the MLP tulpa thread. I was right. I asked Dash if this meant I was psychic, and she reminded me about an article I'd read saying that the brain could slightly predict the future. I spent five minutes trying to find the article, then gave up. Dash tried to get me to keep looking. When I overheard my friend say "last night", I thought that she'd heard me talking to Rainbow Dash once (not last night). RD said, "Haters gonna hate", but I eavesdropped anyway; it turned out that my friends were just talking about movies. RD said that she was like the part of me that knew the contents of the email before I saw it. She told me "Haters gonna hate" when I thought I heard my parents talking about my having forgotten to have dinner yesterday. RD said that I should eat something. I pointed out that I was enjoying a chocolate croissant. She just looked at me like...I think the intent was either "derp" or "touché". My pseudo-tulpa villain harms his victims either in reality or only in their minds. Dash said that she preferred the second option, as it would put the "psychological" in "psychological thriller" (which is the genre I'm going for). When I said that, were the first option used, the "psychological" would come from the victims not knowing when they'll be harmed, Dash booed me out. While watching Yugioh, I got annoyed at the fact the characters always say that Pot of Greed lets them draw two cards. Dash drank from a beer stein (because one of the rules of the Yugioh drinking game is to take a drink when one of the characters explains Pot of Greed's effect). I asked her, "Since when did you drink?" She said that, as a tulpa, drinking wouldn't have any negative effect on her.

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