KruegerMeister July 7, 2016 Author July 7, 2016 7/1/16: I had a scary dream about a society where people can use masks to erase their emotions, which skipped ahead to a future where children are forced to wear pieces of white shells that had the same function. When I woke up, I deliberately wrote "don't remember" in my dream journal, which Dash said was cowardly. I've had no sense of smell (Anosmia) since birth; completely serious, Dash suggested I try flicking my tongue out like a snake. I drank a free sample of strawberry lemonade, which Dash said tasted "Philosopher's Stone-y". I had a meeting tomorrow morning, so Dash gave me a bedtime of 11PM. 7/2/16: I wonder how it would affect olfactory imposition if it turned out my anosmia was a problem with my brain versus a problem with my nose. When I went to see a counselor who I'd heard had therapy dogs, Nina imposed herself in the room. I rode in a Duffy boat, and she imposed herself standing on the bow. She sent me an image of her face in profile, the wind blowing her hair around and blowing sea spray in her face. Dash asked what I wanted to do after that long day. I said I wanted to chill, and she asked if I meant "Netflix and chill". I played Skyrim, and found my intended "college student" RP boring. I thought about changing it, but Dash warned that I was playing fast-and-loose. 7/3/16: I didn't do much tulpa-related stuff today. 7/4/16: Dash said she wanted to possess me, just for the experience of buying/selling in Skyrim. When I found my furry body pillow, I scratched it, and Dash pretended I was scratching her belly. 7/5/16: Dash practiced singing. I think we planned to do stuff together, but we didn't get to that.
KruegerMeister July 9, 2016 Author July 9, 2016 7/6/16: Starlight kinda had an identity crisis. Dash and Fluttershy both pointed out how they, Shou, and Nina weren't...I forgot what exactly they said, but it had something to do with them resembling, but not identifying as, preexisting characters. The crisis boiled down to "I remember this and this, but what if there's a new ep that says Z happened in my past, Z being something it wouldn't make sense to forget?" I read a comment on a Derpibooru post saying that communism =/= equality, and "if anything, Cutie Marks support a Communist way of life". This made Starlight feel better for some reason. She figured that going with the "Commie Starlight" thing could be a Plan B if Plan A didn't work. I saw some pony plushies at the airport; Dash suggested I buy one to use as a tactile imposition aid, but I was worried about what people would think. I asked myself why I care what my parents would think of me having tulpas, but my tone was kind of aggressive, so Fluttershy psychoanalyzed my question as a maladaptive reaction to the times I've worried that my parents disapprove of my tulpamancy. Dash put me in a trance (with the goal of me sleeping through my friend's baby's crying--the sound can't get to me if I'm not aware of it); I cried happy tears when she said she'd do her best to protect me, but I sorta think I made a deliberate snap decision to do that. Afterwards, I wondered how a tulpa could protect their host, other than being an advisor. Dash said "hey, advice can go a long way! Look at Socrates and his Daemon, or...any housecarl in Skyrim! 'Power Behind The Throne''s a trope for a reason!" 7/7/16: Dash criticized my over-use of periods whenever I log tulpa-related stuff. She said I should add emojis or do something to give it more personality. I wondered if she'd be able to tickle me (or generally trick my brain into thinking a possessed limb isn't mine).
KruegerMeister July 11, 2016 Author July 11, 2016 7/8/16: Based on the fact things can irritate my nose and make me sneeze, I guessed my Anosmia was neurological, not biological/chemical. I figured that, because of the mind-body connection, olfactory imposition wouldn't be pointless if I could memorize what effects different smells have on the nose, so I could think "my nose feels X, so is being affected by Y chemical, which gives things Z scent" and work backwards. I asked my tulpas to choose between a can of Dr Pepper and a bottle of Coke. Dash chose Coke because "none of the soda advertisements are about cans". I reread my post about Starlight's Plan B, and Dash expressed skepticism about switching one's identity being possible, citing the fact that conversion therapy doesn't work as an example. 7/9/16: I thought of what tulpa-related things to do, and Dash suggested she could turn into a lamia-pony and coil around me, "imposition not included". Shou excitedly/exaggeratedly proclaimed "for science!" I looked up "tulpa for science". Dash suggested I check out the related search "dangers of tulpas", because it would be "a LOLfest". Fluttershy happily wondered at the prospect of me using the DIY project to get into a trance, instead of whatever we'd done in the past.
KruegerMeister July 15, 2016 Author July 15, 2016 7/10/16: Dash congratulated me on using math to figure out a Skyrim mechanic. Fluttershy (I think) said I'd be a good dad if I ever had kids. 7/11/16: Dash recommended I try a lucid dream induction technique where you hold your arm up, let it fall when you fall asleep, and repeat. I took a bite of a lemon square, and Fluttershy liked the taste. I saw a picture of a baby and judged the shape of his open mouth to be a happy "D" shape. Fluttershy complimented this. 7/12/16: Dash gave me a head-pressure to indicate she wanted to talk to my therapist. I saw Shou through a door with a window. 7/13/16: Dash complimented me when I took down two Giants. I watched a video about SJW/PC stuff in universities.
KruegerMeister July 16, 2016 Author July 16, 2016 7/14/16: Dash figured that the SJW video I'd watched had gotten to me more than I thought, because I'd had a dream about being at a feminist slam poetry/Q&A event this morning. I like to pretend that my Skyrim character's conjured sword is Dash; she played along and was picky about what I killed. She heard that Pokemon Go gets people to go out and explore, and suggested tulpamancy could be a variant of that.
KruegerMeister July 23, 2016 Author July 23, 2016 7/15/16: Dash jokingly asked me if I was gonna be a feminist. Nina spoke up when I turned off the light (and the room was dark except for the light from my computer screen). I turned around and saw her lying on my bed. I turned on the light to check how we were doing on visual imposition. 7/16/16: I took my tulpas to a wedding. It was a country thing, so Dash wore a Stetson, with a piece of straw in her mouth. 7/17/16: Dash got excited about me starting a class soon. She hypnotized me while I worked on the DIY project. 7/18/16: Dash showed up in the opening credits of The Secret Life of Pets. She said that all-CGI movies would be good practice for visual imposition. She showed up in another scene, but I forgot it by the end of the movie. She hypnotized me while I worked on the DIY project. 7/19/16: Fluttershy possessed me for almost the whole class. Nina wanted me to work on the DIY project. I tend to have stressful/bad dreams if I sleep with a heavy comforter. I tried seeing if Dash could help. 7/20/16: I forgot to log stuff. 7/21/16: I griped about being late to class, but Dash pointed out that I was making a commitment to be there, even if I'd be there late. I read that counselors deliberately create rapport, which Fluttershy said sounded nefarious. Starlight said she considers it her job to know SJW stuff. I got kind of emotional during an imagined conversation with my dad (we talk about grades, and then I segue to my trouble standing up for myself). Rainbow Dash was there for me :). When I wrote that, she said she was "always there for [me]".
KruegerMeister July 27, 2016 Author July 27, 2016 7/22/16: When I exercised, Dash talked about "the right kind of pain--athletic pain". Dash is based on a character known for her loyalty, which I figured lent credence to my theory "I got into tulpamancy for safety/security"; in light of this, the "silver fire" stuff and sweating when Lust and Starlight showed up makes sense as a fear response. Object relations theory says that childhood experiences influence later difficulties in intimate relationships. I wondered if my desire to master tactile-imposition had something to do with my childhood. When I read that Adlerian psychotherapy had a bit of everything (existentialism, behaviorism, psychoanalysis, etc.), Dash summed it up by saying Adlerian counselors were the "bards" of psychotherapy (jacks-of-all-trades). 7/23/16: Dash complained when my internet was slow.
KruegerMeister July 28, 2016 Author July 28, 2016 7/24/16: I figured I could unlearn fear by throwing out my mental "security protocol" and letting a scary-looking walk-in through; Lust was in favor of beating a quest in Skyrim. I did some work on the DIY project; Dash suggested mixing in some hypnosis.
KruegerMeister July 30, 2016 Author July 30, 2016 7/25/16: Dash LOL'd when we watched a video of an RNC guy saying that part of Melania Trump's speech plagiarized MLP. She requested I try some new sushi for lunch. I forgot to take off my sunglasses in the liquor store, and she said sunglasses indoors looked bad. I watched the Democratic convention, and she randomly lay on my lap because she was bored. 7/26/16: I didn't do much tulpa-related stuff. 7/27/16: Nina imposed herself in a movie. 7/28/16: Dash pretended to do something gross and troll me, just because she was bored. I practiced speaking/singing in her voice.
KruegerMeister July 31, 2016 Author July 31, 2016 7/29/16: I did a bit of visualizing. Dash nuzzled me while I read about couples counseling. I hanged out with my mom and her friend's little kid; Fluttershy said being around kids would be good for me. 7/30/16: I debated telling my dad about my tulpas so he'd see I wasn't as much of a loner as he thought, but I was worried he'd jump to me being crazy. Dash said she didn't think he'd make that logical leap.
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