Charles July 16, 2012 Author July 16, 2012 I've had no trouble getting my wonderland visualized, but can't seem to picture Linda within it. At best it looks like she's almost pasted in, rather than naturally present. Might be in part due to the difference in art styles, and a lack of clarity/focus is almost certainly a factor. Either way I assume it's something that will take care of itself in time. If not, it's definitely great visualization practice that I can carry over to Linda.
Charles July 18, 2012 Author July 18, 2012 Never stepping foot in the daylight again. To anyone reading this: Listen to your doctor when they tell you a medicine will cause sun sensitivity, and definitely don't spend a day at the beach without sunscreen while taking it. EDIT: Also, I tulpaforced. Good times.
Charles July 18, 2012 Author July 18, 2012 Just made a ton of headway into consistent speech by starting to force lungs and vocal chords. Maintaining focus is still presenting a problem, but not enough to get in the way of a proof-of-concept. Once I had them somewhat forced, we spent about a minute breathing in and out, followed by adding sound to the exhales, which abruptly became very, very clear words. Still not audible in the way a normal sound is, but it takes no effort to understand or hear. Linda was more excited than I've ever heard her before, chattering away until I couldn't hold my focus enough. It seems that speech can come as the result of proper visualization technique, rather than just narration and time. I still believe that a tulpa can become vocal without any visualization, but it's almost assuredly simpler to do simultaneous visualization and narration following personality work.
Charles July 19, 2012 Author July 19, 2012 Still having difficulties, but it looks like Linda's settled on a voice she likes for the time being. Ich mag es.
Charles July 22, 2012 Author July 22, 2012 Nothing to say really. The 4chan World Cup is over with (beautiful victory for /sp/), so I'll be back to doing full sessions and proper progress updates again starting tomorrow. I've also got a few new methods I've been messing around with that I plan on putting into motion this coming week. Rest assured, they will be revolutionary; potentially changing the face of both tulpaforcing and modern science for decades to come.
Charles July 23, 2012 Author July 23, 2012 Alrighty, time to get motivated. I decided that the wonderland was completely useless for us, as I can't comfortably interact with Linda within it and navigating was no better an exercise than picturing my own home. It might be a fun rainy day project for a few months down the road, but I don't see it having any place this early in the process. I've been neglecting full visualization sessions, really full sessions in general, since having some success with the vocal chord method and have been pretty much just focusing on speech. Not much progress has been made since the last breakthrough however, likely as a result of this fixation. My mindset definitely needs to go back to how it was before, not taking for granted everything we already or will someday have. I suppose in part it was just a case of the burn-out some other members have described, but there's no excuse for neglecting your tulpa's needs. It was a short one, but today was our first real tulpaforcing session in about a week. I figured it would be best to stick to narration for today at least, apologizing for my behavior and reaffirming things. Once that was out of the way it was mostly the standard narration spiel, but it all felt very new. Linda contributed a few words and sounds, still sticking with the voice I've recently come to associate with her and definitely making an effort to become more vocal. I'm no longer in any sort of rush for more evidence or progress though, just enjoying things as they come. Might stick to narration again tomorrow and save visualization for Tuesday to help me get back into the swing of things.
Charles July 24, 2012 Author July 24, 2012 Chupi, my new hero, just solved a ton of my issues with developing a wonderland, as well as interacting with Linda from within it. Very excited to see where this goes. Narration is feeling natural again, so I'm giving myself the go-ahead to get back into proper tulpaforcing tomorrow. A ton of old friends just came back home and another group wants to do a small road-trip, but I don't expect it to significantly interfere with anything. Mild insomnia does have its benefits.
Charles July 25, 2012 Author July 25, 2012 Once again, thank you Chupi. I officially have a proper, consistent beach wonderland! The image still isn't as solid as it could be, but it's pretty much completely stable (fine details change a bit, but he overall appearance/layout remains the same). Honestly, I'm amazed by how much my visualization has improved over the course of two days. The only real issue I'm having, and one I really hadn't anticipated, is movement. I'm essentially having to relearn everything beyond the most basic motor skills. I got the finer hand motions down by messing around with a large red cube, but lower body motions are still a bit iffy. Nothing a little practice won't cure. Once I finished some basic tests and relaxed in the sand for a bit, I closed my eyes and drew Linda into our wonderland. When I opened by eyes and looked to my right, she was lying next to me clear as day. After a few more minutes of relaxation and studying I got up and started walking, which quickly turned into a footrace. Suffice to say, I was trounced. Before I could even catch up, she was already headed for the ocean. Linda ended up leading me a thousand or so feet undersea, where there were a ton of gorgeous sights I hadn't consciously designed. Distracted by the sights, I lost track of Linda for a bit and ended up pulling some physics-breaking shenanigans to get us back to shore. The adventure pretty much ended there, though I felt focused enough to continue pretty much indefinitely.
Charles July 26, 2012 Author July 26, 2012 Wonderland is now vivid enough at times to give me motion sickness from rolling around too much, a net good I suppose. I'm still getting used to maintaining a proper perspective, which contributes to the movement problems. Definitely acclimating though. No exploring today; we spent most of our time together lazing about and enjoying each other's company, but I think I'll start developing the surroundings beyond the beach itself and put up a house tomorrow. Linda mouthed a few words while I was there that I couldn't make out, which suggests to me that we may be close to another breakthrough. Here's hoping.
Charles July 28, 2012 Author July 28, 2012 Limited computer access at the moment, but I'm still getting solid forcing time in. Should be back Sunday or Monday.
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