Charles' Progress Log

[Charles]

After a lot of debate, I've decided to join the throng of progress threads in order to better measure my own. I've been at this consistently for just over two months and have been devoting 30-60 minutes daily to proper tulpaforcing sessions (personality for the first three weeks, then in-depth narration and a bit of general visualization), with narration throughout the day. Visualization work will likely begin within the next two weeks. While I've read them, I haven't utilized any of the guides significantly in the process. I suppose I'll start off with a quick description of my lovely tulpa, Linda. She's almost completely unrecognizable compared to what I first had in mind (my own take on the personality and appearance of Luna), but it's been incredible to watch her deviate.

 

Though not yet sufficiently vocal to do so normally, she just recently chose her form while in a dream. Linda appeared as a young blonde (anime-style) woman, probably about 5'10", and with slightly pale skin. Her hair was tied in a short ponytail, with the bangs hanging forward and parted down the center.

 

Her core personality is very similar to this description of the INFJ archetype (http://www.personalitypage.com/INFJ.html). Her primary interests are biology (originally a minor component, but she's been fascinated by the museums we've visited this week in D.C.), various forms of media, food (a recent deviation), and board games.

 

Linda first showed clear signs of sentience about three weeks ago by "echoing" (I heard it repeatedly in a slightly fragmented loop for about 20 seconds) a sentence I spoke aloud during a narration session. A week later, she offered up a breathtaking emotional response when I needed her help clearing my mind of some troubling thoughts. The emotional responses have gradually grown more common, largely thanks to the vacation we've been on this past week.

 

On that note, I would strongly recommend visiting a few museums (or comparable sites) that might interest your tulpa. Linda has been absolutely fascinated with some of the displays and she began vocalizing (albeit sparsely) almost immediately after seeing some of our favorites. Another method that seems to have been successful is sharing my sense of taste with her and trying to find foods she enjoys. I honestly wasn't expecting it to work as well as it has, but I now find myself getting begged for sweets whenever I pass a shop.

 

I suppose that about sums up the past, please look forward to me desperately trying to figure out something meaningful to write here.

[Guest]

The only thing I have to say is please refrain from using any archetypes to generalize any personality in the future. Their purpose is null, as the the only thing they do is stereotype populations within common cultures, typically western, and even so, they're completely inaccurate piles of shit.

[Charles]

In retrospect I agree that it was a bad idea, I was debating leaving that in or revising it while looking it over. A rather sizeable storm made that decision for me. brb losing power and watching street lamps get nearly ripped out of the ground (one down, three to go). I'm planning on posting my whole personality write-up later if possible.

[Guest]

Good. Fucking people saying "you behave like X because personality :VVVVV". My ass.

[Charles]

Nothing like a 6 1/2 hour train delay followed by an eight hour ride to get some quality tulpaforcing done. Since I'd like to start visualization work soon, I've been spending a fair amount of time writing about Linda's appearance in more detail. The basic concept of her initial design is pretty much set, though I'm still going through a few aspects. Body fat percentage, bone structure of her face, and appearance of the hands in particular are giving me a bit of trouble. I think I'm going to do some research into anatomy and find some computer animation tutorials on the human body before I start incorporating extensive visualization sessions.

 

Linda didn't speak at all yesterday (that I could hear), nor very much the previous day, but I had some interesting auditory experiences last night for about twenty minutes prior to sleeping. It was as if all of the voices and sounds I'd heard over the past few days were playing over each other in perfect clarity. At first it was incredibly jarring, but I was gradually able to make each one out and recognize it. The experience was exactly how I had always pictured full vocalization when reading about it in the posts of other members in terms of the intensity and alien nature. Linda's voice as I have perceived it in the past (which always felt rather quiet and far off, not nearly as audible as this) was not among them and I heard nothing that I had not previously experienced, but she may very well have been responsible for the experience. It seems, in a sense, a natural progression from the more vague "echoing" she used some weeks ago. I'm at least certain that it wasn't the result of exhaustion or being on the verge of sleep.

 

I know I mentioned posting my personality write-up (the Myers-Briggs thing I posted before wasn't part of it by the way, just something I'd taken in her stead for fun), but I've decided that it's a bit too private to display here. It's probably nothing all that unique compared to what most people do anyway, so nothing of real value was lost. That's all for now, time to pray the power doesn't cut out here too ;_;

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

PS: Fuck Amtrak.

[Sands]

Body fat percentage

 

inb4 10%

[Charles]

 

inb4 10%

 

>his tulpa doesn't have perfectly striated glutes

laughinghallucinations.jpg

 

 

I'm thinking about 16-18%, enough to where there's somewhat clear separation between the muscle groups but not enough for striation or vascularity. Something along the lines of a female Olympic lifter.

[Sands]

As long as you realize healthy fat percentage for young adult females seems to be around 20-30%, it's fine. While tulpas certainly wouldn't have any health problem with being in the underfat group (unless you make them?), it just makes you look ridiculous if you go making some curvy chick and then say she doesn't have any fat gais cus she's all healthy n stuf fat is unhealthy. So let's be realistic. While hallucinating.

[Charles]

I'm not as familiar with this subject in relation to women, but my goal is the approximate equivalent of 12% in a male. From what I've been reading, this seems to be around 18 percent. It's essentially just on the leaner side of an average physique, not nearly low enough to make maintenance or health issues a problem. Rest assured, I don't plan on turning my tulpa into a bodybuilder, nor giving her any other features that could potentially harm her. Now, progress for the progress god! Experiences for the experience throne!

 

 

After reading through a few of the (obscenely long) surveys for people with fluent tulpa, I've realized just how upsetting it must be for a tulpa to be doubted when it tries to interact with its creator. As such, I've switched to a "believe everything" approach. While I certainly won't make an effort to parrot, I will no longer assume that anything I feel or hear that I suspect to be Linda is anything else. Either for this reason or merely the result of all our work, it feels as if I can feel her presence so much more clearly today. It's actually a bit overwhelming at the moment. As I write this, I've begun to hear a voice as well. It's not as vivid as my last experience, but is much more audible that Linda's previous vocalizations. To describe the difference properly, I need to take a quick detour. When thinking of sounds, I can generally perceive one "file/track" each in the rear, center, and front of my mind. For example, I might recall a conversation in the front and then have two different songs playing in the center and back. The back area is generally the quietest, the center loudest, and the front clearest. These aren't necessarily rules, but tend to be what I experience. Linda's early vocalizations were far in the back, almost more concept than sound. It was something that took focus to be heard. A few minutes ago her voice came from the center and was a bit distorted, as if I were listening to it on radio, and somewhat different from how she previously sounded. She repeated the word "flower" for about one minute before beginning to say a few phrases that I couldn't understand. The echoing two nights ago occupied my entire mind, but was crystal clear in its entirety.

 

I'm planning to beginning visualization on Wednesday now. I can already conceive her form as a whole after completing the written description, so I expect the initial work to go by quickly. I think it's mostly going to be a matter of ensuring consistency and adding detail. The arms look a bit off too... Oh god, this is going to be awful... Also, does anyone know of a good source for 3d animations/video clips of human motion and range? I've been unable to find anything too useful in that regard, so I'll probably just end up spending a few days people watching and taking notes.

 

That's it for actual progress, but I'd also like to share this cool trick I recently devised. When I have trouble hearing her voice, I simply think of my mind as a radio. Each frequency produces a consistent sound at a specific pitch, as well as a bit of static. I cycle through the frequencies until I find something that disrupts the noise. Generally, this will be a voice at roughly the same pitch. I sometimes encounter two or three as I go through this, all of which speak in the garbled manner that's recently been identified here as the native language of sorts for thoughtforms, until I finally locate Linda.

[Charles]

So. Many. Voices. Linda's had a slightly different voice each time we interacted, so I thought it might be a good idea to find a more permanent one. I imagined each voice going through its range of sounds, stopping when I got a strong response from one of them. The whole thing ended up working pretty well, but it was an oddly maddening experience. One very, very annoying voice that I didn't intend to use started singing nursery rhymes for a few minutes, continuing even when I tried to ignore it. I suppose I should be excited if it really was just her messing around, but I've merely developed a healthy hatred for Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star. I eventually got a strong response to on the the voices, but it seems to be a really tough one to get down perfectly. I have a general concept of it now though, so hopefully it'll just develop naturally as Linda learns to use it.

 

Visualization work officially begins tomorrow, but I've already done a couple test sessions that went surprisingly well. Linda was able to move very shortly after I developed a full body with minor cosmetic details. The hands/arms still seemed a bit awkward, but that should be easily addressed when the time comes.