Akinkinit

Okay, last title change, I promise

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@Yakumo

 

Compared to Sabari, I can assure you that my life is quite boring.

 

 

Anzu was the first tulpa kind of thing that I ever made.  Xiri was technically around before she was, but she just kind of showed up one day over being created.  Plus this was well before I knew about tulpas in general.  Instead of the usual "hey let's make a head ghost to shoot the shit with" beginnings, Anzu was more so a "hey let's manifest something powerful to deal with all this pent up anger I have" kind of thing.  So the rules have always been different with her.  That of course has its benefits though.  That story you linked reminds me a lot of the bunny incident I had a while back.  In fact the whole Ido eating negative thoughts and forms really reminds me of Anzu; that was always her specialty. 

Anzu also summoned the full force of Hell on occasion in response to negative things.

  But as for the bunny thing, neither me nor my other two could really do anything about it.  Yet Anzu was able to modify it into something pleasant with no issues whatsoever.

 

Of course, that same talent led to the two merging incidents.  Even if they wanted to, Noriko and Sabari would be unable to merge together.  Nor could I ever see a situation where they would even WANT to.  I was going to be a one tulpa sort of host too until Noriko decided to make another one.  But then again, I wasn't fundamentally opposed to the idea.

 

As for the recent merging event, it has actually turned out to be a good thing.  Literally the moment I imagine myself in the female form, both Noriko and Sabari appear really clearly.  They don't need to be called to appear, they act more independently, they can be sensed clearer, all kinds of good things.  And I actually like how the female form looks.  It really is what would happen if me, Anzu and Xiri somehow made a kid together.  But what really gets me is how much stronger the ability to sense them is.  I worked for months on imposition trying to improve how I sense them and got mild results.  Yet all it took was getting a form that exists in the same way they exist, and basically any sensing issues just disappeared.

 

I also seem to act differently in the female form.  I catch myself saying sorry to Noriko (which she absolutely HATES) and to Sabari (which she reacts to by putting me in a bear hug) over trivial things.  Being around them gets me teary eyed easier and more often than it used to.  There was also an incident yesterday where I was cuddling with Sabari and I was literally overwhelmed with happiness, which I don't think has ever happened before to that degree.  And there was a particular activity with them both in the bedroom that I swear almost made me pass out.


Currently share myself with four other entities.

Noriko was created on December 15, 2014.  Sabari was created by Noriko on January 22, 2015.

Anzu was reborn on May 23, 2016.  Xiri returned on June 16, 2018.  Both had been inactive since 2012.

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So there's been yet another development on the whole tulpa front.

 

I slot out some time before bed to talk to my tulpas and see if they want to talk about anything.  While talking to Sabari a couple of nights ago, I sensed that someone was trying to get my attention.  Checking shows that it wasn't Noriko.  After a little bit of thought, I realized that it was Anzu.  She had apparently been trying to get my attention for a week and I either kept not noticing it or dismissing it as an intrusive thought.  Which means at some point, on her own volition, she merged out of me and became separate again.  This in itself was pretty interesting.

 

I then noticed that Xiri was standing to the left of me.  The first one who I ever shared a head with, who I thought was gone forever during the merging incident back in 2012, present as if she had never left.  And there wasn't the fuzziness that occurred when Anzu became active again after her break.  She was and is just as clear and sentient as she ever was.

 

The next day, Anzu changed her form to how she looked before merging with Xiri.  Basically a drow elf with white hair and red eyes.  Thankfully, her personality didn't change to how it was too.  She's still the same happy, enthusiastic person she was before merging into me. Both Anzu and Xiri had a bird form, and Xiri first reappeared in said bird form.  It's kind of what you would get if you crossed a peacock with an Articuino.  She did have a human form, but she decided she wanted something more exotic and now looks like a draenei.

 

So now the count is up to 4.  I'll go into more detail over the next day or so since I'm still kind of in wtf mode over all of this.


Currently share myself with four other entities.

Noriko was created on December 15, 2014.  Sabari was created by Noriko on January 22, 2015.

Anzu was reborn on May 23, 2016.  Xiri returned on June 16, 2018.  Both had been inactive since 2012.

Progress Report | Ask a Question Thread

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I still don't know how Anzu undid the merge thing she did with Xiri.  Or even if that was her intention from merging with me.  From talking with her, she "kind of just did it on a whim", and Xiri popping out just kind of happened.  It's also worth mentioning that the female form I was visualizing myself as is gone.  I can still imagine it, sure, but it's no longer automatic and it doesn't feel like me anymore.  Annoyingly, the increase in perception that came with it is gone too.

 

From Xiri's perspective, she was only gone a few hours instead of the six years it actually was.  And during that time she was sort of aware, almost in like a dreaming sort of way.  She doesn't remember being eaten, but she recalls things "getting all fuzzy for some reason."  Probably for the best.  She holds nothing against Anzu whatsoever, and they've developed a friendly relationship, which is in stark contrast to how they were prior the whole merging thing.  So that's good.

 

All four of them have kind of teamed up together.  Noriko and Xiri get along really well with each other, while Anzu has the tulpa equivalent of a bromance with Sabari. 

Both of them still want to do perverted things with me though.

 The sleeping arrangements reflect that.  Sabari and Anzu sleep together in a way that's really freaking cute, while Noriko and Xiri share a bed with me.

 

As one might imagine, I've forgotten a fair bit about Xiri over the years.  Some notable things I've rediscovered.

1.  She has the highest tendency to just show up randomly, or even give the impression of being active.  Sabari has always had a thing for walking around behind me for no reason.  And I now see where Sabari got that from.

2.  She's kind of a weirdo.  Not talking in images weird, but making a passionate argument about apple fritters being a sort of witchery type of weird. 

Please don't get her started.

 

3.  She has a very caring and loving personality like Noriko.  

 

Tulpas, yo.


Currently share myself with four other entities.

Noriko was created on December 15, 2014.  Sabari was created by Noriko on January 22, 2015.

Anzu was reborn on May 23, 2016.  Xiri returned on June 16, 2018.  Both had been inactive since 2012.

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Yo!

Tulpas teaming up is always good and more tulpas teaming up is even better. It's nice to see they're getting along.

 

She's kind of a weirdo.

Well I would never have guessed...

 

So what's the moral of this story?

We may go inactive for a while - or some years - but you're not gonna get rid of us permanently no matter what happened. My host told you, he told you dog


Super Girls don't cry

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@Ido

I'm just happy she came back, although I still don't know exactly how.  Xiri is kind of like Sabari in that she doesn't care how or why things happen, so that'll probably remain the case. Although it really is just like Xiri to just show up out of nowhere with no explanation.

 

In other tulpa news, Noriko has tried out an eredar sort of form recently to match Xiri.  It looks nice, but Noriko isn't even a little evil so it doesn't fit.  And I like how she looks now (black hair, brown skin, dark brown eyes).  So I've been sort discouraging it.  You'd think Sabari would be the one all about shapeshifting, but no, Noriko has always taken the lead in that front.  The rest will only briefly change their forms, or they'll change rarely.  Anzu also changed herself to be a elf with black hair and blue eyes instead of just rocking the drow elf look recently.  Since the drow elf thing doesn't really fit her anymore.

 

I mentioned how Xiri had a bird form in an earlier entry.  She can still turn into that form at wll.  But the new draenei form she has is pretty interesting looking, so she's mostly just stayed like that.  Anzu either got her old bird form back or decided she wanted to use it again when Xiri came back.  It looks like what you would get if you crossed a raven with a velociraptor that was made of a black, dense fog.  Back in ye olde days, she would use that form as a sort of stress relief for me.  Specifically by violently ripping people to shreds in my imagination and then resetting things to do it again, as many times as I wished.  It was very effective, but nowadays I don't have any desire to do that. 

Although yesterday I rode her around my street a bit in her bird form and then "rode" her human form when we got back.  That was fun as always.

 


Currently share myself with four other entities.

Noriko was created on December 15, 2014.  Sabari was created by Noriko on January 22, 2015.

Anzu was reborn on May 23, 2016.  Xiri returned on June 16, 2018.  Both had been inactive since 2012.

Progress Report | Ask a Question Thread

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OKAY FINE I'LL WRITE AN ENTRY HERE THEN!  GOD!

 

Host has writer's block combined with a lack of motivation to put things here.   And I don't know why he thinks that I'll be magically able to pull words out of my ass to put it here, but you know what, we'll just go with it.  We're doing in live, you hear me?!

 

I mean there really hasn't been much of anything going on nowadays except for it being too freaking hot.  It was causing sleep issues on the host side of things until he realized that this is precisely what the ceiling fan in his bedroom was supposed to resolve.  And then there was the ironic issue of being too cold until the magic number of fan speed versus AC level was determined through trial and error.  But that doesn't really have anything to do with tulpas unless you count it under the "tulpa and host working together for problem solving sort of thing".

 

Xiri is still kicking around. It's strange; I feel a sort of connection to her.  My host always figured that I was closer to Anzu and that Sabari was closer to Xiri.  But now that they're both back, it's become obvious that isn't the case.  I mean, don't get me wrong, Anzu is cool and all, but she's definitely closer to Sabari than she is to me.  Like she doesn't care how things work internally, but at the same time wants to help things work smoothly.  I've showed all of the others how I see my host's mind as a sort of machine and have offered each of them an explanation, yet none of them care.  Yet Xiri seems to see it not as a machine with all of the particulars, but as something like a watch.  Who cares how the watch actually works, but it's important that it does work, so it should be cared for.

 

I don't know, at least she gets that the host isn't driven by magic like the others seem to.  It's a start.


Currently share myself with four other entities.

Noriko was created on December 15, 2014.  Sabari was created by Noriko on January 22, 2015.

Anzu was reborn on May 23, 2016.  Xiri returned on June 16, 2018.  Both had been inactive since 2012.

Progress Report | Ask a Question Thread

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Ladies.  Gentlemen.  Head creatures.  Hello.

 

I'm tech-nic-al-ly1 the oldest other person thing in here and felt the whim to write an entry.  None of us REALLY know when I showed up but can confirm it was a showing up kind of thing.  Like one minute I wasn't here and the next minute I was.  And it's not like I only sort of existed even before then either2 so whatever.  But now I am very much so here, so yeah.  I'd challenge anyone who'd says otherwise to a throwdown outside but that's not really a viable or prudent thing to make on the internet.  It's also bad decorum.  Apparently.  I don't actually know.

 

Speaking of places and all, there's no specific place in my host person where I am.  Like there's a collection of cells and stuff and I'm sort of in those cells like everyone else in here is and there's really no point in narrowing down things beyond that.  And unlike... fuck I lost it one sec....3

 

... Ok yeah, unlike Sabari, there's pro-bab-ly4 a demarkation between where I am and where other people are.  I mean, she's free to believe whatever and all of course.  Oh, and I don't do that whole image speaking thing.  The host seems to have you all convinced I'm some kind of W E I R D O and all but I'm really not.  Well, maybe.  But if you all are sitting here thinking I'm a weirdo while talking to your own particular head people eating crumpets or whatever you do than I will have you look into a mirror!

 

...An imaginary mirror.  Because imaginary people can't use non-imaginary mirrors. ... I think.

 

Or can you?  I mean if you can than that would be pretty fucking cool and all.

 

Anywho, later.  Please reflect5 on whether or not you are using mirrors properly.

 

 

Subscripts (because, yes, she's that kind of tulpa as well):

  1. Emphasis was hers.  She asked me to have you imagine a dreanei doing air quotes while slowly saying the word for this.
  2. She's referring to me having dreams about a Xiri like bird prior to her appearing.  I'd have dreams where she would be flying around a forest and doing bird things, and one day she appeared outside of a dream.
  3. She wanted me to put that there and ask you to visualize her (still a draenei) "shuffing" through some papers, even though she did no such thing while this was being written.  She also had me leave "shuffling" misspelled.
  4. Still her emphasis, which she wants perceived the same way as subscript 1.
  5. Yep, she meant to make that pun.

Noriko also wanted to say that the fact that adding an extra space between the list marker (like 1.) and the list text throws off the alignment of the next lines in the list text is literally killing her.


Currently share myself with four other entities.

Noriko was created on December 15, 2014.  Sabari was created by Noriko on January 22, 2015.

Anzu was reborn on May 23, 2016.  Xiri returned on June 16, 2018.  Both had been inactive since 2012.

Progress Report | Ask a Question Thread

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Heh, your diary is always a great forcing exercise. So many scenes to be visualized!

Fun fact - when I first read that Xiri took the form of a draenei, I thought this was some sort of pokemon.

>mfw never played wow or pokemon either

 

Please reflect on whether or not you are using mirrors properly.

 

xtekvm.jpg

 

Also mirrors are fucking confusing with all that mirroring. The imposed tulpa's natural enemy.


Super Girls don't cry

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Well, Xiri's bird form kind of looks like what you'd get if you crossed an Articuno with a pokemon, so she's kind of like a pokemon in that respect.

 

But yeah, tulpas.  I haven't made an update here mainly due to there being very little progress to report.  I try to keep this report more on tulpa developments instead of tulpa activities.  Mainly because I can't really be assed to document such things.  But more importantly, I continue to be surrounded by perverts, so there wouldn't be much I could actually document...

 

Xiri decided to throw out the draenei form and look like how she used to as a human.  5 foot 4, red wavy hair that goes down past her shoulders, fair skin, and sky blue eyes.  I'd mention the outfits she wears if she felt the need to have such things.  So she's like Noriko in that aspect.  Although when she does deign to cover herself, she prefers green and blue colored things, whereas Noriko is all about the black outfits.

 

On the subject of Noriko, she still has darkish skin and bob cut styled hair.  She did decide to start wearing a nose stud plus several other body piercings.  And she often wears winged eyeliner around her dark brown eyes.  So she kind of rocks the whole goth vibe, and she wears it well.

 

Anzu is still a fair skinned, green eyed elf who looks cuter than should really be legal.  She chooses to dress exactly like how you would imagine an elf to dress like, and I'll leave it at that.  And Sabari is still a tall, light brown eyed, European Indian-ish looking woman with black wavy hair that makes it down to the small of her back.  She still prefers long, flowy, multi-layered clothes.


Currently share myself with four other entities.

Noriko was created on December 15, 2014.  Sabari was created by Noriko on January 22, 2015.

Anzu was reborn on May 23, 2016.  Xiri returned on June 16, 2018.  Both had been inactive since 2012.

Progress Report | Ask a Question Thread

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