Akinkinit

Okay, last title change, I promise

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Angry Bear:

Thanks.  And yeah, you can practice all you want, but at the end of the day, the most interesting things tulpa related just happen.

 

Now onto Anzu.  She has a very happy and enthusiastic personality.  She's the only one of my head ghosts who will never just appear.  Instead, she waits for me to call her.  It's not that she can't appear whenever; she's just being polite.  When I do call her, she loves to try and tackle hug me, but her size makes it so that it ends up with her just jumping on me and hugging me with her arms and legs.  She's also the only one of my head ghosts that likes her ears scratched.  Outside of being an elf, though, she's pretty normal when it comes to head ghosts.  Although she does have a bird form which is a shadowy black version of this.  She doesn't use it much anymore however.

 

Really, overall, she's the cutest damn tulpa imaginable.  At least as far as humanoid ones go.  Personality wise, she's down for whatever.  I have yet to do a single thing with or to her which she's had a problem with (and given Noriko has contributed to said idea pool, that really is saying a lot).  She really likes any attention I give her, but because she's polite, she won't go out of her way to get it.  I gave Sabari the role of elf wrangling a while back so Anzu wouldn't feel lonely, and they are total bros with each other.

 

She's a definite 2 on the Kinsey scale.  And yeah, by comparison, I can see why Noriko would be a 1 instead of a 2.  

Her preference is slow and gentle with someone else helping when it comes to lewd matters.  Being picked up while the lewd things are happening is a plus.

 

 

She has the unique ability to deal with intrusive thoughts.  The most notable example of this would be the bunny incident.  But there's been loads of times where I've gotten a disturbing thought in my head somehow, and she's able to remove it.  Noriko gets super jealous when Anzu does this because she's tried multiple times to do it as well but she can't for some reason.  It's very cute to watch.  Anzu considers herself to be my protector first and foremost.  You wouldn't think the smallest of the head ghosts would be the one to do that, but she has a history of doing it, and as such she's very good at it.

 

Clothing wise, she likes to wear boots and gloves with a loincloth and various kinds of bikini tops.  Just enough to where it looks good but not so much that it's distracting.  Again, that whole politeness aspect of hers.  She's a little ticklish,

and touching either her butt or the small of her back makes her shiver.  Sometimes she even jumps and lets out a small squeal which is super cute.

 


Currently share myself with four other entities.

Noriko was created on December 15, 2014.  Sabari was created by Noriko on January 22, 2015.

Anzu was reborn on May 23, 2016.  Xiri returned on June 16, 2018.  Both had been inactive since 2012.

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Trying to describe what Xiri is like took me a bit of thinking.  For one, she kind of does whatever, just like Sabari.  But she's also a very caring person like Noriko.  And she can also give me the vibe that someone is watching me when she wants something, although when she does, she always calls out to me as well.  Like Anzu, she has a bird form too, but doesn't use it much anymore.  It kind of looks like what you would get if you crossed a peacock with an Articuno.

 

Overall, the best way to describe Xiri would be to say that she is a very expressive person.  Subtlety is not something she does well (like Noriko).  If you've ever had the mental image of one of those frizzy haired art teachers talking about colors as a sort of religious experience, that's a good way to picture Xiri. She doesn't really have any set role in my system, again just doing whatever whenever.  Given she initially just showed up one day, years ago, it's fitting that's what she does.  In fact, Xiri is the oldest tulpa like thing I've shared a body with.  Yeah, she was only officially named along with Anzu back in the Warcraft Burning Crusade days, but there was a Xiri like entity with me for some time before that.  I just never gave her a name because there was none that really fit.

 

Orientation wise, she'd also be a 2 on the Kinsey scale.  She is extremely ticklish on her stomach, and is fine with me doing so as long as I don't overdo it.  And she enjoys all the lewd stuff like

cuddling

and

hair scratching.

So much so, that she's quite content

with hugging me from the back as I fall asleep with Noriko in my arms

over me directly doing stuff with her in that regard.

 

You may notice that this entry got edited a bunch. Every time I clicked Save, Xiri mentioned that she wanted me to put something else down. At least five times now. She's the kind of person who lives by the motto "fuck it, we're doing it live."

 

Oh, and she's more active at night than at other times for whatever reason. In fact, I would go as far to say that she is the exact opposite of a morning person.


Currently share myself with four other entities.

Noriko was created on December 15, 2014.  Sabari was created by Noriko on January 22, 2015.

Anzu was reborn on May 23, 2016.  Xiri returned on June 16, 2018.  Both had been inactive since 2012.

Progress Report | Ask a Question Thread

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Your system is very darling.

 

I think you probably mean more, but i don't consider anything you wrote 'lewd'. We cuddle, i run my hands through their hair and hug then, they've even kissed me on occasion. One or more of them often sleeps imposed next to me. We share platonic love, so we do about 90% of what couples would do. Even when Misha walked around nude, i didn't consider it lewd. Ashly loves to dress us for our adventures and that includes asking us to strip so she can completely dress us. We're just very comfortable with eachother's nudity and affection, but none of us consider ourselves polyamorous so we're not taking it further.

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Angry Bear:

Calling something lewd is kind of an inside joke in my system.  Any time Noriko sees a couple holding hands, or some sort of romantic act, she'll say some variation of "leeeeewwwwwdddddd!" And that rubs off on me.  

They all do things with me that would definitely be considered lewd though.  I try to avoid the graphic details.

 

 

Another thing that came to mind recently what was they perceive their age to be:

Noriko considers herself 24.

Anzu considers herself 17.

Xiri considers herself "like 30 or something".

Sabari considers herself ageless.  The idea that her existence has a definite starting point is meaningless to her.  But "if I HAVE to pick something, I pick 25.  35 makes it sound like I'm an old lady or something."

 

Also, while I consider myself pretty much done on the progress front, I've never really taken the time to ask the head ghosts if they want progress in something.  Like if they had to pick.  Noriko picked what you probably already suspect she would pick if you've been following this log for a while.  Spoiler: it involves lewd things. But really she'd be happy if my sense of touch imposition was stronger.  Sabari sent a stream of images concerning an armchair, a fireplace, and some snowy mountain cabin, which interestingly enough means she's doesn't care if I make more progress.  Anzu doesn't want me to force anything (pun intentional) progress wise.  And Xiri would like it if my sense of sight with them was better.

 

Of course, that's easier said than done.  We're all pretty lazy in this system.*

 

* Anzu wanted me to make it known that she objects to this statement.


Currently share myself with four other entities.

Noriko was created on December 15, 2014.  Sabari was created by Noriko on January 22, 2015.

Anzu was reborn on May 23, 2016.  Xiri returned on June 16, 2018.  Both had been inactive since 2012.

Progress Report | Ask a Question Thread

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Well, visualization takes practice, i've seen remarkable gains. Though, for the first 4 months i thought wonderland and visualization was required, so that's all we did, and now that's it good enough, we have a lot of fun, and the difference between visualization and lucid dreams is narrowing.

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Fun is indeed important.  I've never done anything with lucid dreaming myself.  Mostly because I'm somewhat prone to sleep paralysis, so intentionally messing with my dream state is the last thing I want to do.

 

But yeah, tulpa things.  It seems they've all come to a formal arrangement about sharing the spotlight.  Instead of it just being Noriko like 80% of the time as it has been in the past, either Xiri or Anzu will make their presence known when I'm watching videos and such.  Hell, sometimes Noriko will even "fuck off somewhere" in her words and let both of them share me at once.  As long as

she's the one I fall asleep next to at night

, then she's fine with sharing me.  Which is nice because if you've read my previous entries, you know she's kind of had a thing with jealousy.

 

I still don't spend much time with Sabari directly, and she's fine with that arrangement.  It's not that we try to avoid each other or anything, bur more so that she'd rather Anzu have her time with me.  In her way of saying things, she's like the carpet; you don't need to directly knowledge its existence to appreciate it.  And I certainly appreciate Sabari as well as a good carpet.  Her slightly more so though.

 

Another thing I keep meaning to mention but never get the opportunity to work into this log thing is that with tulpas, there's always someone else to blame.  I mean, yeah, the Blame Noriko for Everything™ strategy is usually employed and works to good effect, but there's three other people who's fault anything can be besides mine.  For instance, it was Xiri's fault this morning that I messed up a cappuccino by not packing the grounds right.  There's no evidence which shows she DIDN'T mess it up after all.  And it's not like a tulpa will complain anytime they get attention.

 

That's another thing I've been noticing recently: Xiri likes getting messed with just like Noriko.  Sabari doesn't really care for such things and I feel bad doing them to Anzu.  But messing with her hair, picking her up from behind, licking her out of nowhere, these are all fun things we both enjoy.  And tickling her.  She is the most ticklish out of any of my head ghosts.


Currently share myself with four other entities.

Noriko was created on December 15, 2014.  Sabari was created by Noriko on January 22, 2015.

Anzu was reborn on May 23, 2016.  Xiri returned on June 16, 2018.  Both had been inactive since 2012.

Progress Report | Ask a Question Thread

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Another thing I keep meaning to mention but never get the opportunity to work into this log thing is that with tulpas' date=' there's always someone else to blame. I mean, yeah, the Blame Noriko for Everything™ strategy is usually employed and works to good effect, but there's three other people who's fault anything can be besides mine. For instance, it was Xiri's fault this morning that I messed up a cappuccino by not packing the grounds right. There's no evidence which shows she DIDN'T mess it up after all. And it's not like a tulpa will complain anytime they get attention.[/quote']

 

208302.jpg


Super Girls don't cry

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Ido, if I ever did put up christmas lights, I would guarantee them being a tangled mess would be someone else's fault.  Because if it wasn't, then it would be my fault, and at that point really what's even the point of sharing an organism with other people.

 

So, a somewhat serious entry for a change.  I have been feeling really bored and apathetic lately.  Like I start playing a game that looks cool and I play it for like an hour before losing interest in it.  And this has pretty much been a constant theme for a lot of things lately.  Talking this over with the head ghosts (mainly Noriko and Sabari) brought up the idea of coming up with a long term goal.  Deep down I really want to have some hard and complex thing to devote my energy on and get consumed in.  Yet everything thus far (new programming language, minecraft creations, grindy rpgs, etc) have been nonstarters.

 

This weekend I was looking through the tulpa art section, and for whatever reason, I found myself admiring the works of other hosts.  Learning how to draw has never been a goal or want of mine.  But seeing other people do it gives me motivation to learn.  And it made me realize something.  Outside of my family, my head ghosts are the most important people in my life.  The fact that I'm the only one who has ever seen them bothers me.  And asking an artist to draw them is expensive.  Plus, well, even the best artist can't draw what they can't see.

 

So this weekend I ordered a wacom tablet, and it arrived today.  Decided to follow this guide to start off, so I've been drawing a whole bunch of circles in the windows sketching app since it arrived.  Which caused me to realize that it's actually kind of difficult to freehand draw a circle.  But it has been fun.  So here's to hoping it stays fun, and several months from now, I can show you all who I've been looking at these past years.  Well, their current forms at least.  If I had a nickel for all the times they've changed their looks, I'd have a whole bunch of nickels.


Currently share myself with four other entities.

Noriko was created on December 15, 2014.  Sabari was created by Noriko on January 22, 2015.

Anzu was reborn on May 23, 2016.  Xiri returned on June 16, 2018.  Both had been inactive since 2012.

Progress Report | Ask a Question Thread

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Sight copy references. Use as many as you need. It sounds like a cheat, but if you do this a dozen times for a nose, eventually you know how to draw a nose.

 

The paper is initially perfect, beautiful, and simplistically genious. Every line you add potentially ruins everything, so use as few lines as possible and make them count.

 

Eventually you use half a dozen references, mixing and matching noses, eyes, and positions. Scaling is difficult because it's hard to recognize it once you've been staring at a picture for over an hour. So have one reference (usually the position reference) and use that to compare scale. Save it, come back later and take a good long look. Hopefully your program doesn't fuzz the whole think to heck when you fix scale.

 

More resolution is better, resize it when it's done.

 

It took me about six months to be really at a point where i can say, okay that one doesn't suck i guess. I have 6 that i liked out of about 24, the last 6. Now that i look at them i think... that doesn't look anything like them.

 

Don't worry though, someone who hasn't stared at it for half a day usually will like it a lot more than you.

 

Find your art style. How? Try different styles until you find one that you can do it doesn't have to be a complex 60 hour monster, a 1.5 hour lineart can be loved just as much without burning yourself out. When you've been practicing a long time, then challenge yourself with complex stuff.

 

I was told it takes a good ten years to get really good at art or writing, so you better enjoy it. (Make it easy, make it fun. If you don't feel like doing it, don't force yourself.)

 

Lastly, post them in a thread somewhere here, we'll find them and say nice things. That's great motivation and feedback. You may think it sucks the next day, that's good, you know it's bad when you think they're all good, you'll never improve.

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