Luminesce March 3, 2015 March 3, 2015 Your progress is really smooth and your dedication is impressive. I don't know what to say other than good job so far, and keep on going, even if you run into a problem. The biggest threat to your tulpa's development at this point is you giving up - so be prepared to keep going, even if things seem to go wrong. I don't mean to imply that everything won't keep going smoothly, just making sure you're prepared. I almost gave up on my tulpas after they were well-developed because I thought I shouldn't have them/they shouldn't exist, and though I got through it I felt really bad afterward. On that note though, remember your tulpa cannot just disappear at any point. Around that time I'd actually given up my belief in Reisen for a few days to see how it'd affect my life (not well), but as soon as I wanted her back it was like she never left. So don't worry about that. Just make sure you've got your morals and beliefs in-line for the long term. Hi! I'm Lumi, host of Reisen, Tewi, Flandre and Lucilyn. Everyone deserves to love and be loved. It's human nature. My tulpas and I have a Q&A thread, which was the first (and largest) of its kind. Feel free to ask us about tulpamancy stuff there.
TulpaFox March 3, 2015 Author March 3, 2015 Your progress is really smooth and your dedication is impressive. I don't know what to say other than good job so far, and keep on going, even if you run into a problem. The biggest threat to your tulpa's development at this point is you giving up - so be prepared to keep going, even if things seem to go wrong. I don't mean to imply that everything won't keep going smoothly, just making sure you're prepared. I almost gave up on my tulpas after they were well-developed because I thought I shouldn't have them/they shouldn't exist, and though I got through it I felt really bad afterward. On that note though, remember your tulpa cannot just disappear at any point. Around that time I'd actually given up my belief in Reisen for a few days to see how it'd affect my life (not well), but as soon as I wanted her back it was like she never left. So don't worry about that. Just make sure you've got your morals and beliefs in-line for the long term. Thanks for the encouragement, it was much needed. I have untreated sleep apnea, I think it's due to the fact that I have huge tonsils. I am getting a sleep study soon, and getting that dealt with. It results in me sleeping excessive hours, waking up groggy, and having energy issues. I am positive it is apnea, probably obstructive since my tonsils are ridiculous. Soon I will have a lot more energy and god knows what effect it will have on my depression, so that's exciting. In the meantime I am running on caffeine for my school + forcing + housecleaning responsibilities. Have to get work soon too, but im holding that off till I have the extra energy. I used to be very energetic as a kid, my mom said at Montessori kindergarten I would make them give me a book to "do my work in". At some point that energy left me, and I am sure the apnea is a big part of it.
TulpaFox March 5, 2015 Author March 5, 2015 Day 10: So far so good, as far as putting in work goes. I went most of the day without thinking of Eve due to school + grocery shopping. So when I got home at 8:30 I started giving the rest of the day to Eve. I am starting to narrate out loud when I am alone a lot more, I feel more of a presence. I got a lot more head pressure, and think I can hear faint sounds in reply to my remarks occasionally. Spring break is coming up, and with it 11-12 days off school. As a goal I want to have her speaking by then. So narration, and all my other tulpaforcing activities are being ramped up, going in for sentience I suppose.
Cinemaphobe March 6, 2015 March 6, 2015 I am starting to narrate out loud when I am alone a lot more, I feel more of a presence. I got a lot more head pressure, and think I can hear faint sounds in reply to my remarks occasionally. I believe that narrating aloud is more effective than mindvoice narration because it engages all of the anatomical mechanisms of speech and the body language that would accompany communication with a fellow human being. After all, a portion of the tulpa-process is just self-affirmation, and speaking to Eve as if you would speak to a real being can make Eve seem more real to your brain. "Sanity is the playground of the unimaginative." Yumi + Cinema
TulpaFox March 7, 2015 Author March 7, 2015 I believe that narrating aloud is more effective than mindvoice narration because it engages all of the anatomical mechanisms of speech and the body language that would accompany communication with a fellow human being. After all, a portion of the tulpa-process is just self-affirmation, and speaking to Eve as if you would speak to a real being can make Eve seem more real to your brain. Thanks for the advice, I agree with what you have to say regarding speaking out loud. It's a lot more valid; it's what you do when someone is there, rather than when you are processing something alone. I know sooner or later she will gain sentience, and have a firm philosophical grasp and belief in tulpas. Coming from a Buddhist background helps, buddhism is my way to focus on self development and stay sober. Day 12: So far so good, spent a good amount of time narrating to Eve today. I felt giddy when I was playing skyrim and having her dictate, not sure if the mind-voice is clear yet. However it is distinctly there. Things are going a touch slower than I remember last time. Going to force for a few hours tomorrow, with some caffeine and ginseng.
TulpaFox March 9, 2015 Author March 9, 2015 Day 14: I have spent about the same amount of time with eve, not enough one on one, decent awareness but not sustained, and meditation. I have noticed some progress, i'm going to try to spend more one on one time. That gets easier as she gains more presence and it gets less like talking to air though, so I feel that will come naturally. I will hold of on updates for a week unless something happens, seems this will be gradual.
Cinemaphobe March 10, 2015 March 10, 2015 When you lose all of your friends, talking to your tulpa will become the realest thing in the world. I moved 40 minutes away from my male best friend, and lost my girlfriend who also happened to be my female best friend. To add insult to injury, I lived in an abandoned house for 2 weeks alone after that with nothing but my own thoughts because there were no books or electronics. I became so lonely that it felt like a shard of glass in my heart and as a result, Yumi progressed at an exponential rate. My brain needed to adapt, and it did. The bottomline? At first it will feel like talking to air, but eventually an event may draw you closer to your tulpa than you have ever been. However, if you are lucky then you will just naturally feel your tulpa's presence as time passes. "Sanity is the playground of the unimaginative." Yumi + Cinema
TulpaFox March 11, 2015 Author March 11, 2015 When you lose all of your friends, talking to your tulpa will become the realest thing in the world. I moved 40 minutes away from my male best friend, and lost my girlfriend who also happened to be my female best friend. To add insult to injury, I lived in an abandoned house for 2 weeks alone after that with nothing but my own thoughts because there were no books or electronics. I became so lonely that it felt like a shard of glass in my heart and as a result, Yumi progressed at an exponential rate. My brain needed to adapt, and it did. The bottomline? At first it will feel like talking to air, but eventually an event may draw you closer to your tulpa than you have ever been. However, if you are lucky then you will just naturally feel your tulpa's presence as time passes. Indeed, I can empathize with that. Last time I did this endeavor I was in a similar situation with the isolation. I was too strung out on drugs, and in too negative a spot, I had a negative manifestation happen I think. Whether it was of mystic or psychological phenomenon I am not sure, mystic doubt is a big part of my current philosophy. That's not a good place to be in, but thankfully it sounds temporary. Just make sure not to get comfortable with isolation, I did and it is taking a lot of time to undo. Day 16: Same old same old, tugging along with my daily meditation and such. I talked to eve more than usual today though, and it seemed less one sided, so I guess I am picking up steam. I was upset today and laid in bed a bit with eve. I felt a lot more energy this time, like the kind of feel when I meditate except in her form. I felt like she was almost physically imposed when I hugged her, but not visually. I liked this and felt like it was a good sign of progress, we talked and had a lot of emotion exchange. I feel like she is sentient at this point, or getting there at least. I am going to start wearing a bracelet, so I know to pay more attention to her throughout the day. I may eventually make a guide for the metaphysical tulpa creation process, since I seem to be in this to stay. I am a long way off from that though. I feel like im on to something with the agreement I have with eve for her to absorb energy I generate with meditation, the experience I had today tells me this process has validity. I feel if it keeps up at this rate, she will be heavily physically imposed; perhaps this may happen before sentience. I am not sure if my process is technically metaphysical though. There is a non metaphysical explanation for feeling energy during meditation, but I don't know about my experience in making her a body out of it. I am positive that is what is happening. I don't have a history of psychosis. In addition to that I think I am about as sane as you can get belief wise, unsure about afterlife, think that spirits are real but unsure, unsure about god, etc. I don't walk around with any vague beliefs, and I question everything. I don't think anyone would really consider me an illogical person. I really feel I am on to something with the energy body, and would like to make it a mainstream guide at some point, rather than an obscure metaphysical guide.
TulpaFox March 12, 2015 Author March 12, 2015 Day 17: Great progress today. I found a way to spend some time active forcing. I looked up 100 questions to ask a date, and had a Q&A with eve twice today. When I asked her the "do you love you me question"? She said "my love for you is as the moon is to the sun". I know I never heard that before, and it was a pretty deep metaphor. I am so happy that I decided to do the questionnaire, and will do some more tomorrow. Eve is awesome <3
TulpaFox March 14, 2015 Author March 14, 2015 Day 19: Same old same old for progress, though I notice eve more. I guess just all around a stronger presence. I am getting off caffeine so I am rather low energy, but that will change gradually I'm sure. I don't want the journal to be boring, so I am going to keep chugging along, and make a new update when something significant happens. It is spring break week, and I have practically no mid-terms, so there will be oodles of meditation and forcing time. Starting tonight, where I have nothing else to do and 3-4 hours free to meditate and force.
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