ManicMina

Help with identifying a Tulpa or SP (please help!!)

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Hello, my name is Mina.

So before I begin my numerous questions, I would like to provide a little back story about me and the tulpa / personality in question.

I was not supposed to be born, due to the fact the doctors were convinced that I was a tumor. They told my mother if she kept me, I would be disfigured (missing arms, legs, and such) and would probably be a vegetable. Well, she kept me (obviously), and luckily I have all limbs that are normal, and I am not a vegetable.

 

My mom was a single mother (nothing is really known about my biological father) that had gotten married to a man who had several disabilities (that she didn't know when she married him... poor judgement and timing, I know). Well, the first occasion I can remember Minata (my tulpa/ other personality) was an occasion when my step-father (at the time) had taken me with him to go see my mother at work. She worked in a bar, so I wasn't allowed in, but I went in anyways. She had been gone all day and I missed her. Needless to say I got into trouble. He spanked me (a bit excessive as he usually did) and put me back into the truck, then left. I remember crying and panicking, but this voice told me to calm down, it would all be alright. I can remember her stroking my hair and trying to calm me.

 

I have had her around ever since. Sometimes she leaves, but usually not for long.

I didn't know her name for a long time. She would hear a name and think about it. "I think I like it....Maybe that's it" she would say. After a while though, she would change it and tell me it wasn't "her name".

When I was about 14, she heard the name and knew, her name was Minata. It felt right (or just gave both of us a right-ish feeling).

 

Well, now it's time for the information that makes me wonder. She has a different form than what my body looks like. I can see it in my mind, as I always have. Her voice is also different, as is her personality. Things that I might be sad or hurt about, make her angry. There are things I like, that she doesn't.

 

The part that makes me wonder the most though, is that we switch. Sometimes it is a choice, other times she sees my weakness and takes over. Could it be that since I have always had her (since I was 2), she has 'developed' enough strength to 'force' a switch?

When I started to talk about her, or my mother noticed the sudden change of personality, she thought I had split personalities (which isn't uncommon in our family), so that is what I have been thinking she is until now. I just learned of Tulpas 2 days ago, so this new knowledge has made me wonder, because about 85% of what I have experienced with Minata sounds a lot like a Tulpa.

Even she is starting to wonder, because neither of us know how she came about. She just appeared and has been with me since.

 

So in total, my questions:

1. Has anyone ever experienced anything similar?

2. Is it possible for a split personality to be a tulpa too??

3. How could I discern if she is a Tulpa or a split personality?

 

Sorry for the length of this, and if it is in the wrong spot. This whole Tulpa aspect has us really confused and curious. I really thank everyone for their time for reading all this and for any help offered!

I hope all is well with everyone and if you have any questions or comments, feel free to post them or PM me, if you like.

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I'm no expert, but it's possible that you're multiple. You might want to take a look at this.


"Some things have to be believed to be seen." - Ralph Hodgson

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Well, my first tulpa Desmond just came around suddenly and said things I wouldn't, like joke about rather dark subjects and used a lot of sarcasm. He didn't have a name or a form so I just called him "other self". He was around for about a year or two but faded away for a while.

When I decided to start creating a tulpa, I remembered him and said he'd be my tulpa, and I started hearing him again.

He later told me that he was, in fact, the voice from before, and I believe him. I don't know if this is any help to you but I feel that if I had paid more attention to Desmond when he was just a voice, our situation could've been much like yours.


CM - 30th April 1997 - Host of the system

Desmond - 21st April 2014

L - 5th May 2014

Nevira - 14th December 2014

Misa - 5th December 2015

Roska - 22nd July 2019

Danyla - 13th July 2020

Progress report  Art thread  Ask us anything lol

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How could I discern if she is a Tulpa or a split personality?

 

At this point you're in the fuzzy zone, and it depends on you definition of 'split personality' and 'tulpa'. At the end of the day you're two personalitied rumbling around in one brain.

 

Does it really matter which one it is?


I don't visit as often as I used to. If you want me to see something, make sure to quote a post of mine or ping me @jean-luc

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There isn't all that much difference between a fully developed Tulpa and an alter (a.k.a. split personality) The only thing that really changes is the strength of the two relative to each other. In a traditional Tulpa/Host relationship, the Host will always be stronger, and can stop the Tulpa from controlling the body at any time. In a multiple system, the personalities are roughly equal in strength and either cooperate or compete for the body.

 

Aura started out as a Tulpa, but after eight years of development and experience she's become an alter with nearly equal strength to mine. We often swap the body back and forth several times a day, though we try not to when other people are around.

 

The important thing to ask is this: Do you trust Minata? If you do, then there shouldn't be anything to worry about. If you don't, then you should talk with her about any problems you may have.


Current System: Ziya (Formerly Einulf), Mizan, Aura, Dark, Lucia, Rand, Jason, Akira

Here's our Tumblr, if anyone wants it

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Thank you so much for the link Sushi!! I have been reading over it and though its odd I've never heard of it with all the research I have done on the subject. However, the link is extremely helpful and gives me another direction to help figure things out! I can't thank you enough!!

 

Thanks so much for the comment ClianthaMiura! If you don't mind me asking, does Desmond act the same now as he did when you were younger? I know that Tulpas change just as we do, but I thought I would ask. Also, have you asked why he left? Again, just curious and if you (or he) do not wish to answer, I understand.

 

Jean-luc in a way it doesn't. However, we both feel we need to know. Recently, we have almost "merged" or co-run things to the point I'm not sure who I am and she isn't sure who she is. We feel like we need to know what is going on in order to sort things out and get things straight between us.

 

Einulf I do trust her with almost everything. There are situations, I know she will take control of, whether I want her to or not (since she has a history of it). It has been this way since I was a teenager. In the last 4 years or so, we stopped resisting each other so much and actually talked about a 'compromise'. Since then, we too switch several times a day and no one notices because we work as one unit now and most thing its just me being 'bipolar' or something. However, we are starting to become one and it's frightening for both of us. I can't tell who I am sometimes and I asked her about it, and she feels the same way. In her words "it's like being sucked into a mirror image and only half of me is still left. I can't tell who I am or who you are. We are halfway the same but still not!" We used to be completely separate and I could see her as if she were a Tulpa but now is very vague and blurry.

 

After some reading on Multiplicity, I'm starting to lean a bit more on this theory. However, I am curious as to what would happen if I made a Tulpa of Minata. She isn't against it, but we are a bit weary of the idea at the moment. We want to be separate again, but still in agreeance on how things will work. I read a post about the effects on Vyvants on Tulpas and I'm wondering if that has something to do with it. I was on the medication for 4 years (the time which we bonded and compromised). I don't think either of us noticed we were merging and now that I'm not on it all the time, we feel horrible and confused.

 

Thanks again for the comments and help everyone!! This means so much to me, and we are both very thankful for everyone's thoughts and help.

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He did act and talk the same way in the beginning, but he has changed a little, like he has grown and become more mature over time. He doesn't want to admit it, though.

We have talked about why he left and he says it's simply because I forgot about him. {But I've been around. She forgot how to listen.} Pretty much, I suppose. But he doesn't remember much from the time I didn't hear him. Maybe he didn't bother focusing on my life because he didn't exist to me.


CM - 30th April 1997 - Host of the system

Desmond - 21st April 2014

L - 5th May 2014

Nevira - 14th December 2014

Misa - 5th December 2015

Roska - 22nd July 2019

Danyla - 13th July 2020

Progress report  Art thread  Ask us anything lol

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IMO the only meaningful differences between tulpas and multiplicity are that tulpas are consciously and intentionally created, and have mostly not been around for as much of the host's life.

 

It sounds like what you want to do isn't so much making a tulpa as picking back apart the result of a partial merge. Most of our tulpaforcing techniques work at both reinforcing separateness (which is what you want, more or less) as well as creating a visual form for them and getting them conscious. Since she's already there, you might try more of a cooperative effort.

 

If you haven't tried meditation or similar things before, look up beginner resources for that. You can ignore any religious overtones or arbitrary directions to use a specific pose or face a certain direction or whatever. You just want to get into that super relaxed and focused state along with Minata. Depending how separate she is, she might actually be able to do it more easily and sort of "tug" you into it (not involuntarily; you have to let yourself be tugged). Once you have this, each of you should focus on your own form/body/appearance, on yourself as a separate entity from the other.

 

During the day, when not doing that, try talking to each other more. Also try thinking about completely separate or related things.


Lyra: human female, ~17

Evan: boy, ~14, was an Eevee

Anera: anime-style girl, ~12; Lyra made her

My blog :: Time expectations are bad (forcing time targets are good though)

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Thanks for the reply ClianthaMiura. I was curious because this is all still new to me, and I only know from what Minata and I have gone through together. I was wondering if it was the same as when she would disappear (for a short time). Thanks for the reply

 

Chupi thank you so much for the suggestions. Honestly, I have been wondering how exactly I would even go about separating us, even if we worked on a Tulpa she agreed on (before reading your post). I will defiantly check out some of the forums around here on tulpaforcing and such. As for the meditation, that might be a bit tricky (since neither of us are very good at it, no matter how hard we try and if we do get relaxed enough, one or both of us fall asleep). We have been talking a bit more during the day. At this point, though, we aren't able to think or focus on separate things (tried a couple of times today until she got angry at not being able to). We will keep at it though and I thank you so much for your comment and suggestions!!

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About the meditation idea: You don't have to sit still to meditate. The trick is to do something that quiets your mind completely. I'm rather bad at "normal" meditation myself, but whenever I want to go into that kind of state I play a particular piece on my piano. I've played it so often that it requires no conscious thought, and the music itself helps relax me even more.

 

Hello, nice to meet you! I am Einulf's Alter, Aura, and I'd like to expand on what he just typed. Nearly every kind of activity has at least a few people who seem to effortlessly perform, and most of them will tell you that their minds go completely blank during it.

 

Einulf studied music for nearly 10 years, but the amount of time spent leaning has nothing to do with this. What makes the difference is the very thing that separates a "genius" or "virtuoso" from any other skilled practitioner. This is the ability to slip into a sort of trance while performing their chosen activity.

 

Well, I'm not sure what more I can say that Aura hasn't. The core of our suggestion really boils down to one thing: Find something you do already, no matter what, that you have absolute focus while doing it. I'm talking about the kind of focus where there is literally no thought, just action. Then, while you do that try to put your body on autopilot and then do whatever you want to with Minata.

 

Hope this helps!


Current System: Ziya (Formerly Einulf), Mizan, Aura, Dark, Lucia, Rand, Jason, Akira

Here's our Tumblr, if anyone wants it

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