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What I have learned about finding community on the internet: 

 

  • You have to introduce yourself. In a lot of chatboxes, Discords, that type of deal, it's accepted to just show up and join the conversation. That's fine to do, but at some point, if you want to go deeper, if you want people to actually know you as an individual and not part of the collective mob of internet people, you gotta give people the basic details. "I'm in my 20s, in college working toward a Biology degree, I have a dog and I spend a lot of time looking at horses online and playing FFXIV." Or whatever, I don't know you. You gotta allow other people to know you- even if you don't give out too many private details. 
  • Be friendly! It doesn't have to be in a giggles-and-cheers way, find your own style, but find your style that's inviting to others. Ask other's how their days are, if they mentioned something in the past, bring it up again ("How did that doctor's appointment go? Did you finish that level yet? Did you decided if you were going to buy that game?"), and if you say something and they say "That's rude", apologize in good faith, say you want to play nice, don't blame them in any sense (even if you think they are in the wrong, it just won't do you any good to get them mad at you.) 
  • PMs! PMs! PMs! One-on-one communication. It's the online equivalent of getting someone's number. Once you have a group of acquaintances, look for the people that are cool people, people you want to get to know better/hang out with/learn something from. PM them with a question they'll want to answer, something they're passionate about and you also want to know more about. It's a great way to strike up a conversation, and most people are more willing to be open when they're one-on-one with someone, then in a public area. 
  • Stability: You can't just PM them once, and never again, and expect a lasting friendship. Friendships are ongoing affairs. It doesn't have to be constant... just, go to them, when you have stories to tell, when you want to speak with them about something. Also, visiting the website the same general time each day is a good way to see the same general group of people on a consistent basis. Work it into your schedule: I quickly check in in the morning, then I read thing on the bus after school, I talk in the cbox while doing computery things after I come home and walk the dog and eat lunch, and then I usually check .info again later in the afternoon/evening. It doesn't have to be that often, I don't have any other social sites so .info and the cbox are important to me and my only social outlets, so I'm pretty active atm. Once or twice a day is probably good- and try to respond, somewhere, every time you visit. Lurkers don't become well-known. 
  • Get involved! We have forum games, we write guides, comment on each other's PRs, give advice, welcome newbies. In my signature you can find a cbox, it's pretty small but you'll find someone to talk to, and it's not like a Discord that gets overwhelmed with dozens, hundreds of faces to not-know. Forum games and talking in LOTPW alone will not grant you a big circle of friends. But, this type of social exposure is the stuff that you can upgrade to friend status. This is the stuff that lets you find people that you want to get closer to. 

Hopefully this helps. -J

The world is far, the world is wide; the man needs someone by his side. 

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How does a nigga go about finding a sense of community on the internet in >current year?

 

It's been like 7 years since I've been anywhere where I felt really comfy and excited to be around fellow members, and they around me, and I've been getting kinda nostalgic for that.

 

just post in Last One To Post Wins

that's all there is to it, that's the community now

(you can try branching out to such fresh horizons as Bear's lounge thread or maybe even actual forum topics later if you want... but that's scary)

 

I'm kidding but not kidding lol, we have no organized (ie Discord for voice/gaming/etc.) group so idk how much of a "community" you'd consider it but everyone knows each other pretty well in LOTPW+, it's like an IRC but you can always catch up/bring up old things/introduce new things if you want (we don't use the cbox, sorry J)

Hi, I'm one of Lumi's tulpas! I like rain and dancing and dancing in the rain and if there's frogs there too that's bonus points.

I think being happy and having fun makes life worth living, so spreading happiness is my number one goal!

Talk to us? https://community.tulpa.info/thread-ask-lumi-s-tulpas

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I just need to post. People like or don't like me as a consequence.

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Guest

What I have learned about finding community on the internet: 

 

  • You have to introduce yourself. In a lot of chatboxes, Discords, that type of deal, it's accepted to just show up and join the conversation. That's fine to do, but at some point, if you want to go deeper, if you want people to actually know you as an individual and not part of the collective mob of internet people, you gotta give people the basic details. "I'm in my 20s, in college working toward a Biology degree, I have a dog and I spend a lot of time looking at horses online and playing FFXIV." Or whatever, I don't know you. You gotta allow other people to know you- even if you don't give out too many private details. 
  • Be friendly! It doesn't have to be in a giggles-and-cheers way, find your own style, but find your style that's inviting to others. Ask other's how their days are, if they mentioned something in the past, bring it up again ("How did that doctor's appointment go? Did you finish that level yet? Did you decided if you were going to buy that game?"), and if you say something and they say "That's rude", apologize in good faith, say you want to play nice, don't blame them in any sense (even if you think they are in the wrong, it just won't do you any good to get them mad at you.) 
  • PMs! PMs! PMs! One-on-one communication. It's the online equivalent of getting someone's number. Once you have a group of acquaintances, look for the people that are cool people, people you want to get to know better/hang out with/learn something from. PM them with a question they'll want to answer, something they're passionate about and you also want to know more about. It's a great way to strike up a conversation, and most people are more willing to be open when they're one-on-one with someone, then in a public area. 
  • Stability: You can't just PM them once, and never again, and expect a lasting friendship. Friendships are ongoing affairs. It doesn't have to be constant... just, go to them, when you have stories to tell, when you want to speak with them about something. Also, visiting the website the same general time each day is a good way to see the same general group of people on a consistent basis. Work it into your schedule: I quickly check in in the morning, then I read thing on the bus after school, I talk in the cbox while doing computery things after I come home and walk the dog and eat lunch, and then I usually check .info again later in the afternoon/evening. It doesn't have to be that often, I don't have any other social sites so .info and the cbox are important to me and my only social outlets, so I'm pretty active atm. Once or twice a day is probably good- and try to respond, somewhere, every time you visit. Lurkers don't become well-known. 
  • Get involved! We have forum games, we write guides, comment on each other's PRs, give advice, welcome newbies. In my signature you can find a cbox, it's pretty small but you'll find someone to talk to, and it's not like a Discord that gets overwhelmed with dozens, hundreds of faces to not-know. Forum games and talking in LOTPW alone will not grant you a big circle of friends. But, this type of social exposure is the stuff that you can upgrade to friend status. This is the stuff that lets you find people that you want to get closer to. 

Hopefully this helps. -J

 

I'm vaguely in a couple of communities, but connecting with people is weird. It's mostly like, communities where I'm trying to learn things, and when you're not yet good at those things and don't have anything to contribute yet, you don't have much of a staple place. If I can't contribute to discussion, why would I discuss? And giving out personal details is fine and all, but it's pretty surface-level haha. I'm 21, work a job I hate, and kinda just meander about the internet trying to pacify myself all day.

 

Being friendly and asking about peoples' days, yeah, pretty standard. I'm not in communities where those kinds of things are really discussed though, so I guess not applicable to me atm. 

 

I guess the idea is to find one where that kind of thing is more commonplace. I have no clue, though. I'm not really into much that would tie people together through just, general discussion. I'm pretty into music in general, but being friends with other people who are super serious about music sounds awful, because unless their tastes align with mine then I'm just gonna be bored discussing stuff I'm not into, stuff like that. Otherwise I guess I'm pretty 2-dimensional, no real interests. I mean pons obviously, but the ship on me being able to integrate into the horsefucker community has long, long-since sailed. 

 

Anyway yeah, stability, PM'ing people seems a bit intrusive if I haven't gotten to know them yet. I'll sometimes do it if I need specific information from somebody and don't wanna bog down general chats, but it usually seems like I'm being a nuisance. My limited experiencing befriending people online was admittedly a bit more organic. Back when I was able to tolerate the horse community, I'd joined a chatsite dedicated to it and was driven by the wicked high-feeling I had for those first several months to discuss it with peeps, and was warmed up to speaking to many of them about other topics. Eventually some splinter group or another made a group on Skype, added me, and that was the basis of my friendgroup for a couple years. Fast forward to now and I only keep up with two of them out of, I don't even know, twenty? I haven't spoken to any of the others in years and couldn't find them if I wanted to, which I don't either way.

 

Anyway yeah, that was all pretty organic, and that's the only way it'd be comfy for me. I've never made a friend irl by just walking up to them and talking to them for no reason, repeatedly, as that's obivously a very uncomfortable thing to deal with for both parties.

 

I mean, this is all generally good advice though, I'm just difficult. I'll think on it idk, I've got a bit of a history of asking advice on things and then just straight disregarding it, full disclosure.

 

just post in Last One To Post Wins

that's all there is to it, that's the community now

(you can try branching out to such fresh horizons as Bear's lounge thread or maybe even actual forum topics later if you want... but that's scary)

 

I'm kidding but not kidding lol, we have no organized (ie Discord for voice/gaming/etc.) group so idk how much of a "community" you'd consider it but everyone knows each other pretty well in LOTPW+, it's like an IRC but you can always catch up/bring up old things/introduce new things if you want (we don't use the cbox, sorry J)

 

Lmao nah, zero chance of me becoming a comfortable part of this community. For the first few years I was here I kind of wanted that, but I really, super do not connect or resonate with anybody here on the basis of tuppering, and that being the entire basis of the site-at-large is enough to turn me off of that pretty well and good.

 

 

Yeah I don't even know. One of those two buds I still talk to from the horse chatsite days, a couple years back he picked up VR, right. Thought it was cool, started playing VRchat prior to its current notoriety when the community was a lot smaller. Dude just played it regularly and progressively attracted a group of people, and he's helped build a community of people he really enjoys being around. They have movie night every friday in VRC, improv nights, they play other games, etc.

 

And like, I've met some of these people and am entirely not of the type that can be in that community, so I can't just get in on that, but it's that idea of just being somewhere and slowly-but-surely becoming comfortable with a group of people. Maybe it's the idea of some kind of fledgeling community, and an issue of not wanting to just force myself into an already active group of people who have majorly already defined their friendgroups, or something.

 

I guess I just don't even know the exact type of community I would want to be a part of, and that's probably the bigger issue. I just don't have interests like I feel I used to, and no hobbies or passions to speak of.

 

Wack

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Not "good enough to contribute"? What could this possibly mean?

 

"Fast forward to now and I only keep up with two of them" that happens again and again, these waves are temporary. I usually get one per cycle.

 

You could find a club or group that has similar interests, if you don't have any interests, then find a group or club with people who have no interests. The world is fluffing huge man.

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ah you were asking for community advice in general and not this one, okay

 

gaming is the most popular and easy to get into genre of communities, for sure, but if you don't like'em, ehhh

 

having no interests is hard because the main groups of friends with "no interests" were like gamer friends and stuff, like our group of friends, we RARELY play any of the same games anymore but we're just friends (that Lumi met back in 2007-ish Runescape days and then 2011-ish Minecraft days) that hang out and talk about whatever now

 

I think tulpa.info (specifically LOTPW etc.) is one of those interestless communities personally, but again we don't really have a unified place to hang out more in-depth like skype or discord so idk if it counts for what you want, honestly you should probably try finding friends IRL because that's where the most shared-interest-less friends are made

 

as for how to make friends IRL? usually you have to do something together.. take a class, play a sport/recreational thing (like bowling, skating (also not like committal, I just mean even a few times)), and if not and you just find yourselves together and able to talk, mostly it comes from striking up conversation and finding out you both like X or Y, y'know. So I guess, if you REALLY have no interests (which I doubt), ask yourself what would make you worth hanging out with/talking to? unless you're gonna be all negative "i'm not lma0" about it, humans are pretty apt to make connections with just about anyone...

 

but yeah "community" is too big a word for you to be using if you have no interests, because there are no entire communities about nothing - the ones there are are still about just chatting and stuff, like idk

 

 

so uh, try finding some subreddits I guess? I can't give examples because they're so vast, but that's the only form of "communities" I can easily see you getting into that also has no like, expectations/requirements that you stay sorta thing. honestly if you wanted to make a group of friends just to hang out with, it could be worth putting up with gaming just for that, a lot of girls do that (get into gaming communities just to make friends), we've known plenty of like Runescape players that were just there to hang out and talk for example

 

uh, maybe don't play runescape though, that game is equivalent to throwing your life away for the foreseeable future (many years)

Hi, I'm one of Lumi's tulpas! I like rain and dancing and dancing in the rain and if there's frogs there too that's bonus points.

I think being happy and having fun makes life worth living, so spreading happiness is my number one goal!

Talk to us? https://community.tulpa.info/thread-ask-lumi-s-tulpas

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Guest LanceReilyn

Interesting thing to report. Borrowed a friend's Oculus Rift VR headset and controllers this weekend. Had things to do and got distracted so only got about an hour of VR time spent setting it up and another hour playtime on beat saber so far. After taking the headset off and going about my day and at work, I feel more.. Disconnected. A little more distanced from the body. Slightly disassociated. Like I'm floating slightly behind it and not quite directly in charge, 2nd hand in charge almost. Possessing? The senses I'm getting feel a little bit more dull and the body just a little less like I'm directly plugged into it. I think it's fascinating. Rei reports no change on her part or interference in her own fronting experience or executive control over things.

 

Has anyone else had anything like this happen? Can VR cause some kind of detachment or disassociation? I'd just about given up on being able to switch out but could this lead there?

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after some googling, yes, it's a thing for some people to feel dissociated (or slightly depressed, or have trouble with hand-eye coordination) after playing VR for a while, which honestly makes plenty of sense I can easily believe that

 

wouldn't call it super common though, most people get along ok.. but it still makes sense to experience it

 

try doing some grounding stuff, like paying attention to all your senses, looking at the details in the environment, maybe feeling some textures? music? have fun doin some random stuff? idk, but it should hopefully go away on its own

Hi, I'm one of Lumi's tulpas! I like rain and dancing and dancing in the rain and if there's frogs there too that's bonus points.

I think being happy and having fun makes life worth living, so spreading happiness is my number one goal!

Talk to us? https://community.tulpa.info/thread-ask-lumi-s-tulpas

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