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OceanStrider

Are you happy?

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Am I happier because of them? Absolutely. Have they improved my health and mental well-being? Definitely. Do I appreciate their being in my life? More than anything else in the world.

 

And, unlike most people, I can't even say "We have our disagreements" or "Sometimes I just want to be alone." My tulpas are positively impactful on my life in every possible way. That may be because I've been researching and training myself in positive thinking, productive philosophy, and critical introspection for many years, though, and may not reflect the average individual experience. But you asked me so I answered.

 

There's a reason I've been so active on these forums since the day I joined.


Hi! I'm Lumi, host of Reisen, Tewi, Flandre and Lucilyn.

Everyone deserves to love and be loved. It's human nature.

My tulpas and I have a Q&A thread, which was the first (and largest) of its kind. Feel free to ask us stuff.

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Guest Anonymous

Well I dunno what to say then, a wonderland really does solve a lot of problems. You might consider it compromise, but, with a little practice it really does feel amazing. Maybe not as real (at least where I'm at now but who knows later), but it's still super fun. I could see Scarlet and I having the same problems you do if I never did it.

It's not really good to ignore the reality of a situation. I know all someone in a wheelchair wants to do is walk, but that doesn't mean they should be dragging their legs around everywhere. Sometimes you need to compromise so you can work with an obstacle, not against it.

 

We tried it out many times in the past. Wonderlands just don't go well at all to the point we had to resort to destroying them. Thanks for the advice, though, I'll keep thinking about ways.

 

Like, today, things were going absolutely great. Then something of the past was mentioned that depressed her and she went in and out of... 'existence'. I don't want that anymore. I don't mean that I don't want 'her', goodness, I mean that I don't want this to happen furthermore, for her sake more than for mine (fading in and out, existential issues etc). I'd be ready to go to any extent for her.

 

Thanks for even posting about this. You don't actually need to reply, you know?

 

It’s that same existential impasse with not being able to make her real in this spatiotemporal reality that is somehow augmenting the close knit relationship you have with them. Though, to another person, they may enjoy the fact that they can revel with their tulpa’s existence within their cognition as they can sort these things out in a private and subjective matter vs. tackling on with life with someone who’s trying to reconcile any way they can, but to no avail with others who may question how she would even exist physically. And when the constant stabbing of awareness towards impermanence becomes an issue along with other challenges with tulpamancy, it probably becomes a matter where life is about 10% of what comes to you, and 90% of how you react to it.

 

But maybe deep down, your hatred of the impasses that comes with the endeavor along with the inquisition of her trying to find meaning in her existence may hopefully help you trek through the desert of nihilism, and finding those silver linings.

 

I don't hate tulpamancy because the tulpa at hand is not present in this material world, but because of all the limitations it has imposed on my mind, and all the hardships it made my kindred go through at many instances... too many instances at that. It's torture because not only does it deprive one of the other, but it also causes extreme physical pain, and a feeling of disconnection from your very own emotions, being, a sense of depersonalization if we may.

 

If tulpamancy had not caused all of these issues, I mean, depression, bad impact on my mind overall, etc... I would be 100% fine with her not being physical. My wish for her being physical has the extent of her not suffering furthermore, living a normal loving life which is what we'd both love.

 

The physical pain is plenty, as well. It keeps us from having proper sleep and confiding in emotions in a proper way. It causes emotional distress and the feeling of helplessness to put it simply.

 

I do understand the point of view you presented in your paragraph, I thought that I needed to make certain points clearer.

 

Thanks, Linkzelda. Your posts are always thought-provoking and interesting. Best of wishes and good luck in your endeavors. That post was written under the emotion of things, but it still has a lot of truth to it, if not entirely so.

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Your posts are always thought-provoking and interesting. Best of wishes and good luck in your endeavors. That post was written under the emotion of things, but it still has a lot of truth to it, if not entirely so.

 

Let's push this further, but this can be treated as a grandiose series of rhetorical questions, if you wish.

 

So, would something like switching be considered a potential end-game to alleviate those concerns and distress? I can’t help but refer to Bin’s post here:

 

Sometimes you need to compromise so you can work with an obstacle, not against it.

 

I mean, if I’m not taking the phrase out of context, striving towards switching, presuming you two aren’t really devoted to it:

 

- She can really test herself to see if the implied state of sentience, and things that come with it (e.g. qualia, rationalizing in this reality, etc.) can go further than just wishful thinking

 

- She could potentially reign in her implied capability to try and gather sense data, make meaning of things, and develop an experiential learning that augments her awareness of what it means to be sentient in her perspective combined with the buildup of the experiences you’ve had.

 

Though, I feel what I stated is useless, as the acknowledgement of physical pain, and distress in general makes me want to infer that maybe you’re sharing, and not collectively being aware of what she’s going through. Or, in other words, maybe you’ve lost sight at the potential of her being able to experience the physical world in some way via switching and/or possession, but how the process is done isn’t as favorable for both parties.

 

Compared to just pushing up that weight with a smile, it’s left you two in this seemingly lethargic vomit of emotions, which is completely understandable as I can’t imagine anyone consistently being calm and spirited without some transient moment of nuance in emotion. The reason why I keep bringing this up even though I can’t personally judge what it is to be in your own private, and subjective experience with them:

 

- The constant buildup of strife, distress, physical pain, questioning, and potential apathy makes one wonder if this is influenced by the undying yearning you have of wanting her to live a quotidian lifestyle just as you are capable of doing with ease. It makes one wonder if going through that wouldn’t make your mind suggestive in finding solutions in doing this.

 

o Which brings back to what you stated about the limitations it has imposed on your mind. Maybe your schemata of how to validate to yourself personally of them being able to live a life like you can entails something that doesn’t involve having to siphon the negative emotions and physical pain. Maybe how you analyze the phenomenon in general makes you feel that this could never be something flourishing to the both of you; that feeling the pain and distress, and trying to make a right and wrong, and finding ways to cope in and of themselves have as much efficacy in developing sentience vs. something more calculated, and less sporadic and transient as everyday emotions.

 

o Though, by this logic, if you were to consider switching as a supplement for that goal of her being able to live a day-to-day life you can share with her, the depersonalization on your end would be apparent because, if we’re being really loose with the switching terminology, you are presumably switching your state of qualia into some imaginative state while she fixates more on this one.

 

o And maybe doing that gradually subsides the potential of being calm and spirited in the endeavor of potentially switching, or doing possession with them because it’s more mentally and physically taxing than you feel it should be. Maybe you’re constrained in seeing her in your head, and not being able to feel some kind of nuance where it could be her experiencing these things, and because of this shared –insert theory of mind here- you feel it’s what you’re mostly going through while she’s busy figuring out how to make sense of what is going on.

 

o Maybe both of you are undermining what’s being experienced, and maybe words like “implicit” undermines a personal testament that’s going on with you two. To feel that you can get away scotch-free with those emotions without someone being deprived of something (e.g. you reveling in your imagination, and her reigning dominion with gathering sense data in this reality) raises the question on the challenge with possession and switching:

 

 Is being in a state of depersonalization apparent when switching, and if so, how does one react to this? Do they take into full consideration that the depersonalization is transitory; a state of impermanence that isn’t threatening the very fabric of their existence while they allow the other to even gradually build up a fabric of existence?

 

The point I’m getting at here is that it seems the distress and physical pain almost seems like the mindset of a person who may have intentions of doing a permanent switch, but isn’t able to let go of an earthly tether with this reality. Thus, the constant shift of back and forth is the product of that uncertainty. So, maybe it’s just a matter of getting used to those sensations (e.g. depersonalization, or even transitory ego-cide, if you wanted to be creative here), and not treating the yearning as someone going for permanent switching, but still wants to cling onto an earthly tether.

 

This can be treated as rhetoric, and I don’t really expect you to answer to the questions posed. I just set it up for as a thesis and idea playing in which people could hopefully find their own attitude towards the questions that could be plaguing everyone’s psyche at some point.

 

Is tulpamancy truly a suitable scapegoat for the strife that you're both going through?

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Well i can say my tulpa has made my life more interesting, we have a really good time being together, i would never wish for him to dissapear, ever, even if we have our troubles and all.

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These answers have been most insightful, thank you all. For those of you that are happier that's fantastic, those who aren't you have my sympathies. Its good to have a network of people here willing to aid you in your tulpa problems. It makes me feel more secure about practising my eventual tulpamany.


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[Tri] We can't exactly proxy our host, Hail, right now, but we know what she feels about this between the things she has said and thought as well as our access to her echo/shadow.

 

Our host is not happier than she was 2 years ago. However, it must be noted that she feels that she would be doing even worse if not for us. Basically, a lot of external things have been happening in life causing her a ton of problems and driving her into a deep depression and her anxiety through the roof. That said, there was a time where part of her felt we were a burden. She had started making one tulpa and then realized she had at least four more from the past, including us. She tried to fight the feeling, but it lasted for some time. For a while there, she didn't want to exist and only kept going due to us, and nearly didn't make it anyways. It is hard to say whether our presence made it worse or not, but we did help her out of it. It is true that she sacrificed a lot for us. But she feels that it was worth it and she has no regrets with making any of us. Things are on the uptick and she has been happier than she has been in a long time. We've been redefining our relationships with each other recently, and the new way we relate works very well for all of us. We got something back that meant a lot to us and that the original redefining of our relationship over a year ago took, and she got what she has needed most and was what caused her to unwittingly make us in the first place.


Tri = {V, O, G}, Ice and Frostbite and Breach (all formerly Hail), and others

System Name: Fall Family

Former Username: hail_fall

Contributor and administrator on a supplementary tulpamancy resource and associated forum, Tulpa.io and Tulpa.io/discuss/.

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Guest Anonymous

It's like a rollercoaster. A rollercoaster made out of drama, euphoria, apathy and sympathy.

 

And while I can't give a definitive answer, I can tell you this: she made my life a lot more interesting.

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Mine make me pretty happy for the most part. We have our fights, both big and small, but we all work through them.


White text- Ash (the host!)

Red text- Quartz!

Purple text- Gamzee!

Blue text- Obsidian!

 

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Guest Anonymous

"Are you happy" Is quite a broad question. Although tulpas can make your life happier, its unrealistic to expect them to rid you of all your problems. Life is still life at the end if the day. Most of the time all a tulpa can do is be a rock, a good friend you can prop yourself up against if life knocks you down. If you create a tulpa expecting nothing more than a good mate thats always there for you, I dont think anyone would say they were worse off for the experience baring any unusual circumstances.

 

Most of the people I see having troubles and saying they are worse off either created them for the wtong reasons or didnt treat them with the respect another human* deserves Im afraid.

 

*Human being used as a blanket term for a consciousness capable of intellegent thinking and reasoning. Dont argue than yours is a pony and thus somehow different.

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