Ré.

[NeoGC]

Ré - Day 4

 

12:17 PM to 1:00 AM

 

 

So, Today's forcing session involved the traditional starting room I've been using.The VR room. I've detailed it a bit more, with a walkway onto the platform with the 2 chairs and table. To the left of the table, is either a fireplace, but it can be other things. When I arrived, apparantly Ré was looking at the books on there, even taking one out and flipping through the pages. When I sat down, she sat down in the other chair, but looked intently into the book. I kindly asked her if she could save her spot and she dog-eared a page and put the book down on the table.

 

I went through the trait routine, with my clipboard, looking into her eyes most of the time while speaking to her. And then flattened the table into the flooring, and studied her appearance and whatnot for that part of the forcing session.

 

Then, I imagined a walkway into the background a bit, and had the ceiling open up much like yesteday, and the floor to give away except for a small platform for the both of us to stand on. I visualized clouds and sky all around us, and handed her a parachute. One for me. One for her.

"Are you afraid of heights?" I asked her. No response. A trait I forgot popped into my head. "Oh crap! I almost forgot to tell you! You're also brave,Ré! You don't fear danger, and you love adventure!" With that, I jumped off the platform into the sky, and saw that she jumped with me...her hat falling off into the sky. "Aw ,how could I have forgetten about your hat!?" I exclaimed as we plummeted towards the surface, which was the field from yesterday.

 

We pulled the chutes out and gracefully touched down onto the field. I took off the chute and tossed it aside, as a hatless Ré did so well as well. I sat down onto the grass,and she did the same. Remembering the hat, I visualized the hat falling into her lap, and it came right from the sky and did just that. After she put on her hat, we got up and walked around.

 

I began to run and she followed, until we came across a beach shore area of the field. There were some pebbles and I tried to use some as a skipping stone while explaining the concept to her. Like in real life, I kinda did miserably the first time, but the 2nd time did turn out good. She tried her hand at a toss and ended up doing much better than I did...go figure. T_T

 

Afterwards, I saw that the sun was setting, so we walked back into the middle of the field and kinda watched the sun set. After talking with her a little bit about today and just stuff that happened throughout the day (Saw a movie, went on a walk,etc.) I stood up, and she did as well. I turned to her, the sun setting even closer to the horizion, and said that I believed in her, that I truly care for her, and loved her very much.

 

I visualized a white door to the right side of me (Much like in Dialogues's Mp3) and told her that if she wanted to come with me back into my own world, she could, and that she can always use this door if she wanted to, and in the future it would be onto the tree in the center of the area.

 

I hugged her, and for the first time ever, she hugged me back! I don't quite remember the details, but I'm pretty sure I felt a warm feeling inside for a second, and grinned. The hug went on for a couple seconds, before it broke away, and I headed for the door. She stood there, looking back at me. I told her I would talk with her tommorow, and that I know she's always there for me. With that, I went through the white door, closed it behind me, and woke up.

[Guest applesauce99]

Damn, I like how she seems completely sentient already. My tulpa kinda just sat there all dead-looking whenever I visualized her form for tulpaforcing. Good work, man!

[NeoGC]

Damn, I like how she seems completely sentient already. My tulpa kinda just sat there all dead-looking whenever I visualized her form for tulpaforcing. Good work, man!

 

Thank you! However, my big worry is (And someone's probably going to throw a boulder at my head for this) I can't really tell if I'm puppeting all of this or not. I mean, as of right now, this is my fifth day, and most of the time, things like this take much, MUCH longer.

[Dialogues]

Believe Neo, all you must do is believe.

[NeoGC]

Ré - Day 5

 

11:58 PM to 12:40 AM

 

As usual, I started in the VR room. The first thing I noticed, was that Ré was absent from the chair that she usually sits in. I called out her name a few times, and turned around to see her standing right behind me, looking at me curiously. "There you are..." I said, and gave her a warm hello and kindly asked her to take a seat. She did so, and I went over her personality traits in detail, likes, dislikes,etc. And did say, "So, are you liking your new hat?", referring to the Red Beret that she appears to have deviated from.

 

After going through that, we moved onto the north platform, and I had the rest of the room "flatten", and the platform descended like an elevator, down through the clouds and onto the plain area. Looking up, it seems the VR area looked almost like it's own planet. It seemed enormous.

 

After stepping off with Ré, I wondered for awhile what I was going to spend the rest of my time doing with her. Finally, I remembered about a trampoline I used to use a lot when I was younger in a house I used. I visualized a trampoline, and started jumping on it. I motioned for Ré to come onto as well, and she did,but we only jumped for a few moments before moving onto somewhere else. I decided to go to the beach that we visited yesterday.

Just in the clothes we were wearing (Although I did take Ré's beret off and placed it aside onto a ledge next to the shore), I dived in, and motioned Ré to come in. She just kinda walked in, and we swam around for a bit. This was the only time I had actually felt that warm, happy feeling throughout this whole session (And post session), but I felt it quite strongly, possibly stronger than any point before.

 

After that, I visualized my clothes drying out instantly, and so it happened...since I didn't wanna go through the trouble of walkign around with wet clothes. I then ran into the center, as another idea for something to do popped up into my head. She followed along. I envisioned a volleyball net and ball, and began to set it up. My exact words were, "Yeah, we're on grass but...ehhh....who cares?!"

 

We got everything set up and played a couple rounds (Ré beat me... :|)before putting everything up and walking up towards the tree, next to the white door that represents the 'exit', or way back into my reality.

 

Finally, I had to leave her again, and say my goodbyes. I told her that she could use that door anytime if she needed to, and that it would never be unlocked nor unaccessible. I said my farewells, told her I trusted, cared, and believed in her, gave her a hug, and left.

[NeoGC]

Ré – Day 6

 

12:27 AM to 1:02 AM

 

 

 

For some reason, I had an incredibly hard time getting relaxed this time around. I constantly had to itch and scratch, I had muscles twitching here and there, and there were constant distractions. After about 20-25 minutes though, I started over the timer (I originally stared at 12:00) and got to work.

 

I envisioned the typical VR room...but I did change it a bit to help spruce things up...adding more crystal bookcases and stuff. I walked in to find Ré curled up into her usual chair, sleeping. I quietly went over there, and gently shook her awake , and told her hello, and whatnot. I walked over and sat down in the chair and we went through our regular routine. I detected a hint of her being attentive to me, as I kept eye contact the whole trait describing process. She seemed a little bit more 'emotional' than usual.

 

After the required stuff, I imagined a staircase folding out from the northern platform. A huge staircase, going down through the clouds to the ground below. We began to step down it, but it took too long, so I rode the rail down and, looking back, I can see she did the same thing. Finally, when we DID make it to the bottom, we weren't in the usual field that we normally go to.

 

This area had a more overcast sky, and some long grass with similar white flowers found in the sunny field. However, in front of us, lay the beginning of a snowy landscape. We trudged on and walked through this new snowy area a bit before finding a cave. It had old debris lying around as if it were ruins, and when going inside, the door nearly shut on Ré in typical Indiana Jones-esque fashion.

 

With no way out, I told her I was sure I saw an upper level with some way to escape, and that we should keep moving upwards. With that, we began to explore the cave. It was a mix of ice, dirt and snow around the whole area, but there appeared to be ice sculptues in there every now and then. One standing out in particular is one of an Angel, resting on a pedestal. It seemed like it was a decoration to a walkway or something. Moving along, we traveled up a thick, icy spiral path upwards, which had a huge Crystal structure in the center, providing for a rather beautiful sight.

 

Shortly after that, we made our way to our destination. A big circular room which had the upper wall completely worn off, leading to a platform that reached outside. In the center lied a very elegant and detailed ice sculpture of roses in a vase. I gave it to her (It was pretty much like the 'treasure of the temple'.) and walked out onto the platform. I told her I'm glad we got to go on another adventure, and that I was pleasantly surprised this one was different from the others. I gave her my usual farewells and whatnot, and exited the icy world through the white door that I use.

[NeoGC]

Day 7 – Ré

 

10:52PM – 11:42 PM

 

Today was a day of little activity. I narrated and forced twice, one being a very short 15-20 minute session. The other being a much longer 50 minute session.

 

Unforuntately, I decided there were not going to be any huge adventures today, as today would be a day to take it easy, and I had to get to sleep early that night. I was already pushing it being up right now.

 

I entered the VR room, as usual, to find her pacing around. She looked up and became quite pleased to see me. We sat down, and I repeated her traits, each one with a bit more detail than I’ve been doing so in the past. I then took the time to study her appearance at least to the point to reinforce my mental image of her, and then we played a couple games of Tic-Tac-Toe in the quiet, peaceful room until my focus began to diminish. My mind began to wander constantly, and I could tell I was starting to get really tired. I refocused myself (Ended up having to do this several times,actually.) and talked a bit more with her before having to leave. I gave my usual farewells and whatnot and assured her tomorrow will be a bit more exciting than today.

[endoalir]

Progress! You can't expect every day to be full of excitement, but sounds like you're doing well.

[NeoGC]

Ré – Day 8

 

 

12:00 AM to 12:43 AM

 

 

Another low-profile day. I think I need to go and start forcing more in the daylight, where I don’t fall asleep. It seems, and I should have fixed this much earlier, that forcing so late at night is quite a bad idea. Although there are the least distractions at night, it’s also when I’m most tired.

 

I entered the VR room, Re was seated in my seat,yet again. “Taking my seat again?!” I joked as walking up to her. I told her today I wanted to show her a new place. A place that would somehow connect to the field, but I wans’t quite sure yet. For all intents and purposes, this place was pretty much “Under Construction”.

 

I had the crystal bookcase in the room move over to reveal a passageway, which led through some stairs downward, and into an underground tunnel that eventually turned into a clean, white room. It wasn’t blank, it had white walls that had sunlight flooding through holes severeal inches wide, but the outside world wasn’t visible. In this room were 2 small floating sofas and plenty of wide open space. I had us sit down, and go through the forcing session necessities.

 

As had been yesterday, my mind had been wandering, so I refocused as much as I could, and got through it all. I felt guilty having to leave without really making much small talk, but I promised myself and her that I would force tommrow, at an hour where I would not fall asleep…I failed to live up my promise of today being more exciting, and I did indeed apologize to her on that.

 

Regardless, I gave her a warm farewell, and woke feeling quite sleepy. One interesting thing I’ve been noticing about my forcing sessions lately is that they’ve all been hitting the 40 minute mark, almost ALL exactly. Today I was literally a minute or so off, and it seems the other sessions seem to get around that point too. Why is it so close all the time? Why is there no variance? Why 40 minutes? The plot thickens…

[NeoGC]

Ré – Day 9

 

1:53 PM - 2:34 PM

 

As I had mentioned yesterday, I was going to force now in the afternoon, as I would be much more awake and alert.

 

I entered the usual VR room, and saw that Ré was nowhere to be found. I called her name a couple of times, and finally saw her sitting on the edge of the platform. I came up to her and said, hello, and asked if she could stand up. She seemed emotionless, but this wasn’t new. I feel like I’ve seen her more lively before, but it could just be me overreacting.

 

Anyways, I told her, “How about we ditch this room for today? I’m sure you’re sick of it…you know, you don’t have to wait for me here…You can go into the field and be there. That’s totally okay.” And then, like the first session, had the room open up into the field, and laid onto a hill that the big tree rested on.

 

I talked very briefly, and a good idea popped into my head. I told her to come follow me, that I was going to find more level ground. I walked down the hill onto the flat land ,and envisioned a small table (Very sort, we’d sit at it on the ground) and a teapot and white porcelain cups.

 

Yup, what better way to sit in a peaceful field than to sip tea like refined individuals such as us? :P

 

Anyway, I decided to do all the things for forcing in that atmosphere, and felt it was much more lively, happy, and overall less ‘scientific’ then the VR room. Perhaps I should consider retiring the VR Room in the near future? I don’t know.

 

Once getting through all the personality traits and whatnot, I talked with Ré for quite some time, her still being mute. However, it’s strange. Although she’s not really saying anything, I can feel that she’s really there and listening (It’s a sensation very difficult to explain, but like, if she answered very favorably to something, this feeling would grow, and whatnot…it was a strange, happy, almost tingling feeling at the back of my head…Hmm..) and acknowledging everything around us. It’s like she truly wants to, but at this moment in time, just can’t.

 

Afterwards, I put the teapot and cups aside, ‘flattened’ the table so that it had vanished, and then did the same for the others. I got up, walked to the white door under the tree, stopped, and looked back, seeing if she had followed me. She did. I gave her my farewells, reviewed her traits and likes/dislikes very briefly, and said goodbye.