A completely hypothetical scenario with a question

[Luminesce]

Alright, well, not reading every prior post in this thread..

 

That's just a general guideline. It's the same with tulpas as it is with people. Should you try and diversify your social connections, with many friends and such? Yeah, probably, that's usually for the best. But it's not the end of the world if you have a single very close friend and don't have anyone else you're very close to. The context is infinite, there is no right or wrong or even probably, just "generally".

 

If your one tulpa is your one true friend and one person who you really feel close to and that helps you a lot, then great. You "should" try and make some real friends, but you don't have to. It's all up to the individual person. Generally people think you should have more than one close relationship, and that you should "get out and socialize" to some extent. And generally they're right. But there can be scenarios where your tulpa really is the most important relationship you have.

 

 

However. You can't just assume that will be the case. Once you're sure enough to confidently state that as the case, great. But we try to tell people to keep some kind of social interaction outside of their tulpas because generally speaking it really is healthier. And if that helps them keep real friends and their tulpa, great. And if they still only care for their tulpa, that's fine too.

Just gotta cover all the bases, all the possibilities and their preferable outcomes. But once something is a certain way for you for sure, then that's how it is. There's nothing "wrong" or "right" about it, other than if it feels right to you.

[Guest Anonymous]

... waiwha, what the.

Why is page two forty percent people praising Rina and me?

Guys, that's very friendly and all, but in case you felt it was necessary to "defend" me or something along those lines - it wasn't. xD

So let's try and keep this thread on-topic, like Lumi displayed a good example of.

 

 

Greets,

AG

[AracnidsGrip/Rick]

Feferi: Jejejej, yeah. You're right. Sorry 38P 38D

[Luminesce]

I stayed on topic by not reading a single post after the OP.

 

Also, I feel like you guys wouldn't need my opinions so much if you (as a community) used a little perspective. Everyone always agrees this is all subjective, but then they go right back to their objective-mindedness. My post just now was an example of understanding all the different ways something can be "right", instead of just posting my opinion on a single perceived right. That open-mindedness you see from me is really just me taking into account how different people are. I have opinions too, but as they're only relevant to people very similar to myself, I stick to more universal ones, or to pointing out lots of different ones. And everyone's always so impressed (not on that last post specifically), but really, all I do is take more than my own view into account.

 

It's not that hard...

[Guest Anonymous]

OFF TOPIC -> I need a little Lumi portrait on our laptop staring me down and influencing me to stay on topic and be diplomatic and neutral in tulpaville tribal-town politics.

 

ON TOPIC -> One trick to solve the problem of choosing to do tulpa time over real people time is to share your tulpa with everyone. Solved.

[SomethingDire]

I just realised that Lumi got off-topic by telling people how to stay on topic. And now, I'm off topic myself.. I'm sorry OP.

[Edward]

So I'm at work on break, and I skimmed the other posts. If I neglected something brought up earlier, I apologize. Just let me know, and I'll edit this when I get home.

 

Blah blah everything is subjective, not just tulpas. When I say this, I mean that social norms say it's better to have multiple healthy relationships. This is not directly related to tulpas, but it does provide a backbone we can compare similar experiences with tulpas to.

 

If someone becomes obsessed with another human/object/idea to the point of significantly altering their life, it could be argued as dangerous. However, at least when referring to obsessions with people, the object of obsession can distance themselves of their own accord. They aren't within the mind of the obsessive.

 

Tulpas don't necessarily have this failsafe. You could say that a tulpa can disappear, and in some cases I'm sure that can happen, but just as easily as they can disappear an obsessive can keep them around. And if not keeping them around, keep around a functionally identical thoughtform.

 

The OP question of what to do in this situation depends on the host. Does he or she want to spend the majority of the aspects of his or her life on the tulpa? If so, while there could be dangers, go for it. If someone is willing to do that, he or she will discover in time whether it works or doesn't work for them. If they do not want to devote to the tulpa that way, then my personal suggestion would be to explain that it isn't going to happen and to discuss ways you can achieve satisfaction with the tulpa.

 

At the heart of the OP, the tulpa wants something. If the host wants to provide it and is fine with the side effects, then what's the problem? It's his or her subjective life blah blah. If they don't want to provide it, don't provide it.

 

Now, this discussion can further by analyzing possible responses from the tulpa to both scenarios, but I'm not going to do that unless prompted.

 

If I missed anything, let me know.

[Linkzelda]

It seems the type of tulpa in the hypothetical scenario is one who feels they’re capable of judging what would be in the best interest for the host, or both of them in general. If we took the situation in context of gauging implied sentience, I would see it as them having to take prior experiential cases the host went through, and trying to generalize, maybe indirectly, of what they feel would be a biography of the host’s life. But that stream through their experiences that entails some emotional context being put in (e.g. how the tulpa reacts to what the host had to deal with) seems to be based on them taking advantage of that biography (or would it be autobiography (?)).

 

And the moment the emotional tonality (e.g. I want, I feel, etc.) comes into play, it could further assurance to the host that there has to be something the tulpa had to put two and two together to even contrive those convictions in the first place. But, not everyone is going to do a “STOP, REFLECT, RESOLVE.” They might be a little concerned, and potentially horrified if they took into account of tulpas that want to take an action in assessing life -- shared, or solo.

 

What would be the best course of action?

 

I wouldn’t know the best course of action for all circumstances, since that might imply that there’s an absolute ethic to follow that would stand the test of time. Something I do know that I would do first is to probably revel in what they’re thinking, and ask them further questions as to how they’ve led to that conviction that one doesn’t have to be overly gregarious, and should instead try to cultivate a stronger bond between them for a more fulfilling life.

 

I would do that to show that I respect their sentiment while knowing I’m not going to have some kind of existential horror with my personal life just because of their words. The statements would probably compel me to devote some time with them to get into group thinking, and reflect over prior experiences, and offer opinions that are both of contrast, and similarity in hopes to come to an understanding of ourselves. In other words, taking time (the host) to find something through their tulpa’s words and emotive responses that they weren’t able to find in themselves. Acknowledging that reciprocation in the first place over time might lead to one not having a knee-jerk response to do something overly dramatic with their tulpas (e.g. dissipation, or putting fingers in their ears and going lalalalala).

 

What type of reactions could take place from the host's part?

 

Like I mention for the prior question, I would react in a way that would have me play pretend in objectifying my existence through previous experiences in order to see where they’ve led to now. I wouldn’t try to get on the defensive that a tulpa is making a stand for some objective they feel is flourishing. Maybe, just like us, those convictions could be temporary, and they just see that there’s a dead-end with feeling fulfilled in general, and are trying to take into account of what’s the best interest for everyone. Maybe a temporary hiatus from social connections with others leads to what I mentioned before of the host being compelled to react to their tulpas by engaging in that same group thinking to reflect.

 

An analogue to this is like someone in an intimate relationship—if they’re willing to be emotional with you on things that may raise an eyebrow in context of having some moral fiber, then it would imply that they trust you enough to make themselves vulnerable like that. Of course, I’m not saying the relationship has to be intimate similar to a spouse, or bf/gf type of thing, but it’s just to get a point across.

 

Even if that tulpa seems to have a conviction that shows they're solidified on how they would act things out should the host agree, they’re just as vulnerable as the host because some form of apprehension had to lead them to saying, “I want to be, I want for you, I want to become.” That exposure is just an opportunity to handle potential turmoil, and may have some merit to capitalize on.

 

Did anyone get super obsessed with their tulpas and had to pay for it or are people just recommending against it due to paranoia?

 

I remember a lucid dream where I felt it was Eva talking to me in some hotel room telling me that I should live for my own sake vs. helping others so much that I forget about myself. I agreed with her, but it didn’t compel me to live under a rock. I realized most gregarious interactions were kind of a waste of time simply because there were other priorities in my life to straighten out that would eventually come back to haunt me if I didn’t assess them ASAP.

 

I think said statements of “I want to be/your/us” is trying to fill in the gaps of being assured that one is content with their place in this world. And once that seems to be filled, maybe then the convictions would change, and both the host and tulpa would take great efforts in not just helping others, but helping and maintaining themselves as well.

--

My closing statement for the OP is this:

 

[hidden]I’m a strong believer that whoever you communicate with, you have to project yourself in some way towards others. What we’re privately experiencing inwardly on a daily basis to deal with things in life is probably one of the things we’re used to the most, but may not be able to directly acknowledge this is the case. If a tulpa sees that we’re projecting ourselves to others in a manner that it’s all that the host is doing, maybe they feel the host isn’t realizing that what they’re doing for others is what they can do for themselves.

 

Because should those bonds with others be severed, if the host can appreciate their self-progression not being solely based on the interaction with others, the potential of losing a sense of self, or identity, would be reduced. Maybe the tulpa in this scenario realizes that having their sense of self lost, or broken, makes them feel horrible to where it entices them to suggest those things. Maybe that assurance would actually compel the host to be more sociable with others while knowing in the back of their mind that their life isn’t just about projecting themselves all over that it bleeds into people’s skin.

 

Perhaps absolute statements like “But I want to be exactly that” is self-satisfaction because they’re convinced they’re right. Maybe they felt the temptation of cynical thoughts, but it doesn’t mean you can’t take a stand to convince them to turn away from that path. And it doesn’t mean that the camaraderie suddenly ends between the two. Maybe it’s a chance to see that it makes them even, and that they’ll just watch each others' backs in the meantime.

 

What I mean by makes them even—the efforts they take in reciprocating towards putting some light back to those cynical, and apprehensive thoughts, and maybe being grateful for that. Even though the initial presentation of thoughts might be questionable, it still created that opportunity of reflection that I feel is important for progression.[/hidden]