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ImmortalGeek

Help with saying Goodbye

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Hi. Okay I have had my tulpa for 10 months. I have worked on her lots, but no progress. I have read many posts, websites, and things on how to work on tulpas. But still nothing. I thought she wanted me to name her Bethany, so thats what I called her.

 

I have decided to say goodbye to her. To get rid of her (that sounds harsh). It's not just because of her not responding, it's other things but I really wouldnt like to go into detail.

 

I read that to get rid of a tulpa you have to ignore it, and it will go away. But the thing is, I still care for Bethany. It seems so cruel to just ignore her till she leaves! Is there any other way? Also, just because I want to remove Bethany doesnt mean I dont want a tulpa. My friend suggested I could erase who bethany was, and change her. But I would still see her as bethany. What do I do? Has anyone ever had to do this before? Thanks.

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Prior to my recent set of tulpas, around 2012-ish, I had two other tulpas. One of them went away through something much like an involuntary merging, whereas the other went away by me ignoring them.

 

I am here to tell you right now that you do not want to ignore / erase a tulpa. Regardless of your progress or other things going on. Ignoring mine left me with a huge amount of regret and guilt, as well as a feeling that I had failed. This persisted for quite some time and even made me not want to make any other tulpas for the better part of 2 years. When I started tulpamancing again, a month or so in, the guilt manifested into me seeing the tulpa I ignored during forcing. I even saw the one I thought disappeared forever due to the merging thing, and it was not a controlled sort of appearance. Thankfully Noriko had her proverbial shit together at the time and was able to convince me that these were just ghosts in the machine and not the actual tulpas. And they disappeared again after I dealt with the guilt and such (which again is mostly thanks to Noriko).

 

But yeah, speaking on behalf of someone who has ignored a tulpa and then restarted tulpamancy, making a tulpa go away is a painful process that I can't advise anyone ever do.

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Guest Anonymous

I love how people always make sure to use harmless terms like "go away" or "fade".

That's self-deception. Where's the tulpa supposed to "go" to?

 

You're contemplating erasing the existence of a more than likely sentient person, let's call that baby by its name.

You're contemplating ending a life.

Which is also called killing.

 

And you're doing it based on the grounds that you didn't get the results you wanted in the amount of time you wanted.

Or possibly based on some other personal reasons; not that it matters unless the tulpa in question seeks to harm you.

 

Y'know how any and all tulpa creation guides yell at you to not make that decision to create one unless you can handle the consequences?

There's very good reasons for that, this kind of shit being the biggest one.

 

How quaint that "Tulpas are sentient and real!" and "I'm totally ready for the consequences!" are both statements that are easily twisted or entirely forgotten when the host has a change of heart or simply doesn't feel like it anymore.

How very quaint indeed.

 

 

Greets,

AG

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How do you know there's something to get rid of? If you made no progress ("nothing" as you put it) then why would you think there was even a tulpa at all?

 

And if you do think that, isn't that proof of progress? If you made a start but hit a wall, change your methods. Do different stuff when old stuff doesn't work until you find something that does.

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So you don't want Bethany, but you still want a tulpa? You realize this is like abandoning your first-born child in favor of a future child, just because the first one didn't turn out how you expected. You do realize that, right?

 

Look, I don't know your circumstances, but when I read this:

 

It seems so cruel to just ignore her till she leaves!

 

All I can think is "That's because it is." And you know it, or you wouldn't feel uncomfortable about it.

 

There is a reason that it's generally stressed that dissolution (a.k.a. killing the tulpa) is a last resort. You are killing a sentient being (and if you've been working on her for 11 months, chances are there's something there, and that something doesn't want to fricking die). This is the sort of measure that should only be taken if the thoughtform is malignant or otherwise dangerous to their host. Yours? Sounds like she's just young.

 

I understand that 11 months sounds like a long time, but it's really freaking not when you consider the grand scheme of your lifetime, and if this is a matter of frustration and fear that she won't make any progress, then that's not at all a good reason to revert completely.

 

I also understand that you didn't start this thread looking for advice, but that's tough toenails. If you can't give a good reason why it's so important to kill her, pretty much everyone here is going to assume you don't have one. So you'd better either get more specific or face a lot more attempts to dissuade you.

 

And hey, look at Tewi, being all sensible. If there literally isn't anything there, then you don't have to worry about it and can move on.

 

But if you think it seems cruel to ignore her? Chances are you're feeling something from her, and that something deserves not to be killed without getting a say in it.

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Something something perception, belief, etc., etc.

 

If you don't think anything's there, like has been said, there probably isn't anything. I've given up on, what, three tuppers? But there was almost no real belief involved when creating any of them, and I'd wager that there was genuinely nothing to really give up on in the first place, given that.

 

That being said, if you're still uneasy about it, and apparently want another Tupper anyway, an open invitation to anything that might actually have been there, to work its way into whatever it is you wanna work on next probably wouldn't hurt. Pretty sure I'm three for three on doing that myself. No clue if it's had any impact, but if current Tup ever lets me know, I'll say something.

 

Just do what ya want, it's probably not as serious as you think it is.

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I have worked on her lots, but no progress.

What does this mean? "Lots" can mean anything from "15 minutes daily while on the bus to school" to "8 hours image-streaming, super-focus-mode forcing" depending on the person really. What forcing methods you tried? Were you able to concentrate?

 

I have decided to say goodbye to her. To get rid of her (that sounds harsh). It's not just because of her not responding, it's other things but I really wouldnt like to go into detail.

Well, if you don't explain that part then it comes off as "I want to dissipate her and that's it", and then you get the responses you have been getting.

 

I read that to get rid of a tulpa you have to ignore it, and it will go away.

True for younger tulpas that aren't able to call attention to themselves, don't know about older ones, they may not like or agree with your plan. And who knows what comes out of that.

 

Also, just because I want to remove Bethany doesnt mean I dont want a tulpa. My friend suggested I could erase who bethany was, and change her.

Until you explain the "other things", the way I see it is that you want to start over?

What about instead trying new methods, trying again with a different perspective and generally not resorting to dissipation? Tulpas usually are understanding, I'm sure if you really wanted you could work something out without dissipation coming into play.

 

That said... if you really want to go ahead [with dissipation], not many here will help you out with that. Good luck regardless.

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ImmortalGeek:

 

People in here are willing to believe that there has to be some modicum of sentience within your tulpa—or rather, an existence. They’re willing to believe even though they can’t step into your internal experience and verify that. They’re willing to breach in their own psychology and ethics with analogies equivalent to pro/anti-abortion, natialism vs. anti-natalism, and what have you.

 

While it may seem like a scare tactic, I’m sure they mean well for you because chances are, we had some kind of experience(s) that gets us hot and bothered over threads like this. But look at the real issue. Are you more distressed that the competencies that you tried to build over time isn’t enough compensation for gaining assurance of progress?

 

But if you are, how come at the same time, you’re willing to be distressed on how you should create a formality in saying goodbye? How come you’re so invested into this, as if you already had a conviction that she’s sentient to where dissipating her would be equivalent to killing whatever extreme circumstance with life?

 

It’s like trying to find a way to find the best looking gun, and making sure the bullets are scented with roses to give off the best one shot you ever could imagine. But that’s just a distraction. You’re worried over 10 months, and while one would get mixed responses in that being enough for “cultivated sentience,” you’re really just distraught over your own competency in this.

 

Why put up a façade to make it appear in your perception that doing this is for a long-term good? I don’t think it’s always easy to have a clear conscience in this because when it comes to analogies (e.g. dream characters dissipating as soon as we wake up), we create a double standard, and make exceptions to comfort our own psychology in this.

 

Make your own judgment call. We can’t kill you, and we can’t give you a lobotomy to ease your troubles away, so why ask us how we could over-exaggerate the dissipation in the first place?

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You cant just get rid of a tulpa. Thats getting rid of your bestfriend or your child. You have worked so long on Bethany, dont give up on her. She hasn't given up on you so dont give up on her. You started this, so stick with it!

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Hi. Okay I have had my tulpa for 10 months. I have worked on her lots, but no progress. I have read many posts, websites, and things on how to work on tulpas. But still nothing. I thought she wanted me to name her Bethany, so thats what I called her.

 

What do you mean by nothing? Based on what you wrote here there's at least some essence there or you wouldn't have said you think she wanted you to call her Bethany

 

It seems so cruel to just ignore her till she leaves!

 

That's because it is cruel.

But to answer the question at hand, just ignoring and denying even thinking about a young tulpa would kill them. With an older, more developedd tulpa its the same thing, but takes more work and stricter mental discipline to deprive them of any mental attention.

 

Also, just because I want to remove Bethany doesnt mean I dont want a tulpa. My friend suggested I could erase who bethany was, and change her. But I would still see her as bethany.

 

I think you're right here. Put a caramel in a chocolate wrapper and it will still be a caramel. But I appreciate your friend's effort to save Bethany.

 

What do I do? Has anyone ever had to do this before? Thanks.

 

Speaking as someone who did dissipate a tulpa for legitimate reasons (she was a genuine detriment to my mental and emotional health) I feel I can say with confidence that unless you're dissipating to leave the tulpa phenomena all together, you will be left with regret and guilt for years to come, if not the rest of your life. Whatever new tulpa you come up with will be a constant reminder of the one you erased.

 

I see tulpa dissipation in the same way I see abortion. We don't know if these beings are sentient, (and frankly it doesn't matter). By choosing to erase/abort them you are copping out of the responsibility you took on when you decided to make them, and selfishly ending what may be a genuine person. Unless there are real physical, mental, or emotional health concerns choosing to just erase a tulpa, even one in mid-development is extremely irresponsible, and you should question if you're really willing or ready to stick with, and dedicate your mind to another living entity.

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