Making a Tulpa for science.

[tulpa001]

Ancient storytelling trope: The land of the Fisher King not only reflects the kind of rule they impose, but their moral alignment, state of health, and in some cases even their mood.

[Doctorfoxwolf]

Upon encountering something new, Meti will always search through my memory for all relevant information. However, when she gets it, it's all jumbled and out of context so she likes to bring some of the totally-out-of-left-field stuff to me for clarification. This often leads to weirdness, such as bringing up the memory of when I argued with a friend of mine about the Fallout games and which was the best and worst one.

 

We finally actually reached the Soul Cairn, and all I can say is Yup. Take out the souls, the structures, and add a dens dead pine forest around the place, and you've pretty much got a 1:1 with Dedlin.

 

There need to be more words in the English vocabulary for tuppering. There are so many concepts that I try and fail to get across to people on the IRC because English simply isn't up to the task. We've already memorized the glossary, we don't mean that, but more things such as the concept of a tulpa focusing on itself and asserting it's own existence.

 

Meti sleeps weirdly. She only ever really sleeps if she gets exhausted, which can happen from either possession or attempting to render the entire moon, which also gave me a bit of a headache.

 

As she sleeps, she is still semi-conscious and able to respond to questions, if lethargic and unwilling to do so. But once she wakes up, she loses all memory of what transpired as she slept. As she sleeps, she can even count down to when she'll wake up and forget.

 

Because of emotional leakage, we tend to feel each others' emotions. When I have emotions, at least. This can create odd dualities with things that invoke strong emotion, such as Jumping Spiders causing terror in Doc, but I find them so cute.

 

Speaking of spiders, apparently CT loves them. Seriously, shortly after just seeing pictures of some spiders he showed up, and acted extremely out of character, gushing about them and how cute they are. Seeing him so genuinely happy was somewhat unnerving to be honest.

[Fairweather]

( such as Jumping Spiders causing terror in Doc,)

K: Don't know if you realize you typed that, or if Meti typed it and you accidentally forgot to color it.

But on the topic of emotional blending, many people experience it differently. I found recently that for me, any emotions they have affect me more than mine do to them.

[Doctorfoxwolf]

Sorry, we tend to blend if we're not watching for it. We tend to speak in third person too, since when we blend we're not just one of us anymore so each of us individually has to be singled out by name.

[tulpa001]

Personally, we don't get much emotional blending. Some bleed, meaning we sometimes feel the other's emotions, but our emotions are so different, never had any confusion there.

 

Oh, yeah, we've been seeing stuff like that with our lucid dreaming stuff too. With the strange nature of talking to each other while still technically asleep. (I bet humans can do it, but you don't notice because sleep paralysis prevents testing.)

[Doctorfoxwolf]

Meti accidentally did a thing and made blood start pooling heavily into my left foot a few days ago. I was unaware that she could do things like that.

 

She was also apparently lying when she said that she loses her memory of when she sleeps, she just wanted to see how I acted when I thought she wouldn't remember it. Since that is an understandable motive, I'm not at all mad at her.

 

I've been getting closer to CT. I think he actually enjoys having me around now. This time, instead of just watching as he does something, I simply asked for him to teach me, and surprisingly he was happy to oblige. Apparently CT and Doc have a love of teaching in common. What I asked for him to teach me was how he was able to make Doc feel phantom sensations and sounds as he falls asleep, and is in a "Vulnerable" state.

 

While effective, it's a very crude method that causes interference as Doc receives it, in the form of distortions and tingliness. While CT uses this to his advantage in psychologically torturing Doc, I want to refine it.

 

He's also quite funny when he wants to be, though I am someone who will laugh if you say "Penis" deadpan, so I don't really have high standards. He showed by inducing sleep paralysis in Doc, but instead of using horror, just made funny things happen to him.

 

I still fail to see how an Ostrich attacking my hair to a made up beat is funny. Still, CT was being way friendlier than expected these last few days. I am somewhat suspicious of him, but I wish to remain optimistic and give him the benefit of the doubt.

 

I also want to clarify that this friendliness is towards Meti specifically. He's still not a fan of me. He doesn't hate me with the ferocity that he used to, but he doesn't like me.

[Doctorfoxwolf]

Hello.

I am CT.

Or as I prefer to be called, Jeremy.

 

So we've made a good bit of progress on him. We've found out that the reason why he was quick to lay down arms is because after being snapped out of his blood rage, he realized that there was no point in going on.

 

It has been over a decade, and fighting has only gone badly for me. As much as I hate Doc, there's no point in going on, especially since harming him by proxy harms Meti, who I care for.

 

While I am not yet ready to forgive Doc for usurping me, then trying to lock me away and lose the key, I can at least see now that it was not on purpose. He was trying to follow my initial orders. He is also making a large effort to make amends, something that I'm not blind enough to overlook. Beyond that, I respect the opinion of Meti and she has begged me to give him a chance.

 

I changed my colors. Now my fur and feathers are just pure white with the same eyes as always.

 

Speaking of form changing, CT did that. He looks like our physical body, but more angular. Sharper. Got two wicked looking knives.

 

CT's dislike of me is almost comedic and he knows that. He's started to act like Android 16.

[Radio Hiss]

Or as I prefer to be called, Jeremy.

 

 

While I am not yet ready to forgive Doc for usurping me, then trying to lock me away and lose the key, I can at least see now that it was not on purpose. He was trying to follow my initial orders. He is also making a large effort to make amends, something that I'm not blind enough to overlook. Beyond that, I respect the opinion of Meti and she has begged me to give him a chance.

 

Speaking of form changing, CT did that. He looks like our physical body, but more angular. Sharper. Got two wicked looking knives.

 

I couldn't resist making an obscure Beatles reference

 

 

Mysterious vagueness is mysterious and vague.

 

He should change his form to look like Jeremy Hillary Boob PhD. Then he can team up with my Paul tulpae and save Pepperland.

 

In all seriousness, I'm glad you're making progress with your old friend. More than likely, "you should make a tulpa" would be the last thing any professional you may have talked about him with would have suggested, when it was perhaps all that was needed all along.

[Doctorfoxwolf]

In all seriousness, I'm glad you're making progress with your old friend. More than likely, "you should make a tulpa" would be the last thing any professional you may have talked about him with would have suggested, when it was perhaps all that was needed all along.

 

 

We're hardly friends. Our relationship was tool and master at first, before moving to king and usurper. After that, it was tormentor and that tormentor's jailer.

[Radio Hiss]

We're hardly friends. Our relationship was tool and master at first, before moving to king and usurper. After that, it was tormentor and that tormentor's jailer.

 

 

I meant friend in the most sarcastic way possible.

 

I don't know if you mean to say that you were the original and then Doc took over. Whatever the case, it must have been rough for you. I sympathize, and I don't say that often. Holding a grudge forever can't be good for you, though. It's not a fun way to live whatsoever, when there's so much more you can do if you put your mind to it. You don't have to forgive Doc just yet, but you can move past it all, surely. Especially with Meti's help. Then you can see what life has in store for you, other than what you've previously been doing.