Making a Tulpa for science.

[Doctorfoxwolf]

I don't know what would happen, but I want to find out. Stop encouraging him.

 

The wonderland operates generally how the real world does with surprising strictness, excluding that forest. It's likely the the reason why Meti can't fly is because if she was a real life being, she could not fly with that wingspan. You have no idea how hard it was to make my form boneless. It wasn't something I could just do, I had to completely annihilate my form and start from scratch, recreating it bit by bit. Even then, I was all wiggly and stuff. Basic movement and stuff took intense focus for way too fucking long. I started it around a week ago and I'm still not finished.

 

However, a Glow-in-the-dark Meti is totally possible.

 

It is possible I forgot, yes, though that reminds me of something odd about Doc's memory. He claims it's bad, but in an odd way it's better than most. He can't remember a whole lot, significantly less than most, but what he does remember is always correct. He never misremembers anything. He's either right or he doesn't know.

[tulpa001]

Well, I just assumed that ponies flew because of a magic field projected up from the ground that they could push off of with their own field. Like maglev. Or you could replace all your internal organs with aerogel.

 

My host's memory is like that. She doesn't misremember, but loses a lot of details.

[Doctorfoxwolf]

Or you could replace all your internal organs with aerogel.

 

What organs? I got rid of those when I made myself out of squish, which is the fictional material I had to meticulously create just to make myself out of it.

 

And I didn't make it light.

 

Hell, even if I was light as a feather, something tells me I still wouldn't be able to fly.

[Doctorfoxwolf]

Learning

Speech

 

So there are some odd things I wanted to talk about them.

 

One thing may be why Meti seems to learn so fast, learning everything quickly, not just at the typical tulpa increased speed. I think it might be from a sort of need. Meti loves learning, partly because I didn't start out with anything. Most tulpas have free access to their host's memory, or at the very least started out with some knowledge.

 

I did not. When I was booted out of that forest, I knew nothing. I didn't know english, I didn't know how to walk, I didn't know I wasn't alone, I didn't know what a forest or a tree was supposed to be. 

 

So learning shit was pretty damn high on my list of priorities.

 

Eventually (Kinda hard to keep track of time in here) Doc found(?) me, and through him I learned everything I know. I guess that need to learn never really went away.

 

Secondly, there's Meti's speech patterns. I just wanted to say that her speech is heavily influenced by they youtuber/twitch streamer Cryaotic.

 

Thirdly is about possession.

 

Yesterday Meti was able to fully possess for about 45 minutes. This morning, she was able to do it for an hour and a half. Marked improvement there.

 

There are two odd things about it though. For one thing, the fatigue didn't slowly get stronger, it was smooth sailing right up until the end, where a wall of fatigue and tiredness hit us all at once.

 

Yes, I said us. For some reason, the fatigue affects me as well. It affects us equally, and we feel an intense need for sleep afterwards.

 

In totally unrelated news, I took a nap earlier today,

[Doctorfoxwolf]

I have an odd sleep schedule. I’ll sleep five hours one day, then ten hours the next. Then five hours again, so on and so forth. I don’t know why it happens, but I seem to suffer no ill effects because of it.

 

However, Meti still gets a normal 6-7 hours of sleep every day, since we sleep at different times.

 

Odd thing here, I wanted to mention something about possession. Whenever Meti is fully possessing, I have to make my thoughts louder and more intrusive in order for her to hear me. When she isn’t it’s the other way around. I have to want her to not hear them, she will by default.

 

Oh my god that’s adorable. She sneezed for the first time while possessing and had no idea what to do, so we ended up with our hands to our chest like a T-Rex.

 

Despite knowing otherwise, it sometimes feels like with this I'm shouting into the darkness.

Especially with all those guest lurkers.

Yeah I know you're there. I've seen you in the "Users browsing this thread".

 

I've started being more affectionate and huggy lately at Meti's prompting.

 

FUCK. I know there's something I'm forgetting but I can't for the life of me remember it.

[Doctorfoxwolf]

I've started writing things down on a notepad app for my phone because I know I'm forgetting so much stuff.

 

First thing I see on there is emotional influence on control. Suppose we should cover that first then.

 

Strong emotions on Meti's part seem to give her a stronger influence. One example is fear, while normally she has oddly little control when I'm sleeping (presumably since I can't assist her and she is restricted to her own power), however whenever I am having what she sees to be a terrifying dream, she can thrash me awake.

 

We went to a mall today, something I rarely do. Meti wanted to hug everyone.

 

Oh, and my brother got engaged.

 

I remembered something today since I spent a long time in the car. I have done some sort of meditation for a long time. I don't know exactly what it is, but it is some sort of trance state I learned how to enter at a young age, it keeps me entertained, or at the very least not bored, for hours. I don't know how long the longest I've gone is, but I do know that one day I did it for a cumulative eleven hours. It doesn't have much relevance, but I felt it prudent to mention.

 

We spend most of the day out, so we didn't spend much time together doing tupper stuff.

 

Edit: I forgot a major thing.

CT showed up again. This time, Doc did, talk to him. Doc's presence will aggravate CT to say the least but he seems relatively okay with my presence, so we left the talking to me. I think it went as well as I could have hoped for it to, and we made a little progress in convincing him that we don't wish to hurt him and all that.

[Doctorfoxwolf]

Good food puts Meti in a good mood.

 

We're going to be making a fuck ton of brownies for Christmas.

 

Not much to talk about but I felt the need. Since Meti does not have access to my memories but really wants them, I'm trying something.

 

I hear many talk about creating a sort of library, so I condensed it. I'm making a large, brown, leather-bound tome that contains all of my knowledge and memories, Meti will just have to flip a few pages to access whatever she wants. Pay no mind to how it's impossible to fit something like that in a book. So far it's working well.

 

I changed my coloration again. Instead of peacocking, I've decided to go for a full white-grey with two exceptions. My eyes are still purple, and my internal flesh is still an electric yellow. And glows in the dark. I have so many functions, I'm like a Swiss-Army-Meti.

 

I'm getting better at getting messages across to Doc, and I've been spending a lot of time on the IRC. Socializing is fun, even if Doc would say otherwise.

 

I've been slacking in my practice lately, but it's not like Doc is much better in that regard. We need to get on that.

[tulpa001]

You can fit an entire library on a tablet. Just sayin'.

 

My host, long ago imagined this book where you could write any question and the answer would appear on the next page. Sort of like google.

 

Speaking of phosphorescent flesh, did you know skin is translucent? Most people don't notice, because the amount of light that passes through is usually dwarfed by the amount reflecting off the surface.

[Doctorfoxwolf]

Speaking of phosphorescent flesh, did you know skin is translucent? Most people don't notice, because the amount of light that passes through is usually dwarfed by the amount reflecting off the surface.

 

I figured everyone had put a flashlight up to their thumb at some point.

[Doctorfoxwolf]

So I succeeded. Meti now has a book in her possession that contains an ever-updating copy of my memories. Apparently it works just like memories do, in that parts will fade and obscure over time or even at random.

 

It's weird. Some will be available and clear one day, but the next it's smudged and illegible, and being illegible is certainly a feat for a book written entirely in Tulpish. No, I don't know how the fuck Doc managed to write Tulpish down and neither does he.

 

Along with knowledge, it also provided me with a lot of insight into how Doc works. It's like there's a set of accessible memories created each day that Doc and the book may draw from in that day, but every time he sleeps it's created anew. Some roll over and are constant, but not as many as you would think. I think this may be a cause or effect of his Ego Undeath (And that's what we're calling it now) status. If you only have access to a small section of your overall memory and that is constantly shifting and changing, I'd imagine it'd be pretty hard to maintain a concrete sense of self.

 

This only applies to life memories and experiences however, factual information such as math works how normal memory does and is fairly consistent.

 

In case you wondering, yes, reading a book written in Tulpish is odd. It's like each page is a staring contest with Rorschach, but somehow makes sense. The entire book is like this, no matter how clear or factual the memory is.

 

CT has shown up a few times over the last few days, and as we have agreed, I'm the one who interacts with him. He is heavily distrustful of Doc, and really not much more trusting of me. Still, I think we're making progress. He seems less angry, but that might just be me getting used to it. The Pressure is especially strong around him, but since he seems to also be affected by it I'm not going to jump to conclusions. I'd also like to mention that the place where the Pressure is weakest is the Stone that feels like Doc, which is part of why I hang around it all the time.

 

I've been practicing, trying to exert more and more control over the wonderland. I created some objects such as a plush and a mug that Doc didn't know about until five seconds ago.

 

We are very uncreative with names. Stone, Pressure, Book. . . Guess we're in no position to give tulpa001 any shit for his name.

 

I slacked off with possession in the last week or so, I was able to go for a full three and a half hours yesterday though. Normally I just sit at the computer while possessing, so I really only move the arms much. Today, Doc wants to see if putting ten pound weights on each arm while I'm possessing will change the duration any.