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How good. Don't be terrified! That is fantastic news, that they are shaping their home how they want it. ..And working TOGETHER, geeze.


Yeah, it is good, haha. I just wan't expecting it at all.   xD It's still so weird popping in and seeing what they've done. I was so used to the other one.


How they managed to work together astounds me but I'm not complaining.

Hiya. Member of the Horrible Hosts Club (HHC). If you wanna learn about my system, here's my PR.

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(3:16 PM)


Unfortunately, last night I had a lot of work to complete- forcing ended up being put on the backburner. It was upsetting, since I'd really wanted to go in and explore the world they'd made, but I was assured we could do it another day. Kane and Raymond specifically were very encouraging as I did my work, but even Claude and Michael had cheered me on, off and on. Kane went out of his way to do a mini-rainbow lights show for me.


That aside, nothing to truly update on yet as I just got home, save for Sen.. growing up, I believe. She's taken more of a teenage/young adult form, and her voice is a bit deeper, now. I've double checked to make sure she's done this herself and she has, every time. She's not sure if she intends to keep it, but for now, at least, she's glad to be "grown up" with the others. 


-- It's good to be big. I'm still playing around with my looks, but I don't see myself ever going back to that form. I feel way way way more free like this.


I'll definitely be exploring the new wonderland tonight, though, and will give you a nice big update on that later today.




I forgot to mention something. Andrew got in a bit of.. trouble, with the circle today. As he's younger than the rest, he often can blurt out things without really thinking. Today, when I walked by a mirror, he said, quite loudly, "You look like a blimp!"- with a bit of a chuckle.


I didn't really mind it, as I know Andrew would never mean something like that maliciously. Hell, he would later say he thought I looked cute, and that was just his comment at the time.


However, Raymond absolutely lost it, shouting a "HEY!" In my mind at him. It took a lot of sorting between the both of them to help Andrew feel better about it- I assured him I wasn't mad- and for Raymond to calm down. Things are good now, though. Both have since made up, and Andrew even apologized to me- though I hadn't really requested him to.



(12 AM)


I did certainly forget to put out forcing session here after I did it- I got lost in the last bit of work I needed to do- but I did explore the wonderland, and boy.. it was beautiful.


They'd made a few edits since I'd last explored. The extra suburban deco homes had been dropped, and instead, there was more of the grassy field from the original wonderland. However, they'd added a lake as well, as well as a forest area surrounding it. They'd also added a mountain region in the distance, but we didn't get time to explore that today- we'll most likely hit that tomorrow.


Aside from that, I simply hung out with them. Andrew once again apologized for before, which, again, I quickly reassured him that there was no need to apologize further and all was well. Raymond was being his typical, goofy self.


Something to note is that Sen still seems unsure of what she wants to be. I wonder if she's subconsciously trying to become something to make me more proud, which.. I don't want that. I want her comfortable. That's something I'll need to talk out with her later. Last I saw, though, she was picking up something I'd never seen any of the others pick up: clothes-making. 


Ahead of now, I'm not quite sure where I'll go in terms of progress. Currently, we're working on switching and possession. For the time being, I'm only working on this with Michael and Raymond. Claude will be next on the list, and the others will be brought into it as they develop the strength and ability to. The rest will be allowed to as they develop the power to take it on, provided they want to.

Hiya. Member of the Horrible Hosts Club (HHC). If you wanna learn about my system, here's my PR.

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(12:12 PM)


With classes finally over for a few weeks, I can devote more time to forcing actively, increasing that force time, and getting more out of them. That said, so far I've only forced for 30 minutes today. I will be doing more off and on throughout.


Something I've noticed is Raymond is easily able to pull me back in when I lose focus. He occasionally will massage my shoulders to refocus me, or put his hands over my eyes in wonderland so I can recollect myself, or even simply pull me back in. It's interesting, to say the least.


That said, today's forcing session, at the heart of it, was talking to Sen. Sen has been struggling lately, and as I found out today, the issue is drive. She feels less drive than the others, and it makes her feel less "Real" than the others are. She worries I will get rid of her, or that she'll eventually fall out of existence.


I talked to her a good while, and reminded her of her creative efforts- the word "Creative" seemed to spark something within her, as if she'd regained a light or sorts, and told me to come back later, and that she needed to do a few things. I obeyed. 


On a less serious note, Michael brought us cupcakes around this time, and after a brief convo. Vanilla with strawberry infused frosting- I'm beginning to feel he has a thing for strawberry.


(5:31 PM)


Well, I didn't force with them yet due to some life changes, but something far more interesting occurred: Andrew tried fronting.


I'd say for a first attempt, he didn't do poorly at all- he limited voice control, with some movement. He could not move the body out of seated position, but did have control of hands, head, and upper torso to a degree. I still can't fully disassociate, which I believe to still be the biggest thing holding us back.


For a first run, though, I'd say it went well- Andrew certainly enjoyed it, though he had a similar reaction to fronting: it was "bright." Head's a little fuzzy, now, but I'll live.


(10:19 PM)


Last update of today. Once again, instead of forcing, I've let Raymond attempt to possess my arm. He managed to move it from the desk, to the laptop, and was able to type two letters. It's the first time he's had full control of a limb- typically, we co-front and I help him in breathing and typing.


Really, I'd only expected him to reach the laptop. I had not expected him to go all out and type a bit. The process was slow, and Raymond is officially exhausted- it worries me that he pushed himself so hard when I insisted he didn't have to, but.. that's Raymond for you. 


It's progress, at least.

Hiya. Member of the Horrible Hosts Club (HHC). If you wanna learn about my system, here's my PR.

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(8:01 AM)


Considering I've had to be up at 6 am today, might as well offer an update. Merry Christmas.


So we've mainly been practising presence sensing and fronting. ((Michael: We're on the phone for now, so my apologies- I'll need to implement my color later.


I find fronting is getting far easier as we practice more- not to mention Sarah's become far better at sensing our presence. I do wish she could see us in the real world as well as she could sense us, but... For another time, I suppose.


On a side note, I'm finding church to be fun, despite the length. I'm not used to being around so many jolly people- we may not agree on certain things, bit still- it's nice to see, especially on Christmas. :)


That's all, for now. We're going to practice the lengths to which I can front today. I'll be sure to update you later!! Or Sarah will, who knows?


Take care, darlings! Merry Christmas. <3))


(11:11 PM)


Nice to pop in again. Michael managed to front for 30-40 minutes before we needed to stop- he actually had trouble falling back, but I talked him out of panicking and was able to take back over. After church, we did some forcing and enjoyed ourselves for the holidays- apparently they'd decided to do present exchanging without telling me- I ended up having to think up some gifts on the spot for them ^^;- but it was very fun. 


Something that I'm not sure counts as progress or not, but I found the idea that they'd all made sure everyone felt included was nice- not everyone received a gift from everyone, but everyone got a gift- if you catch my drift. I also found it nice that, after the gift-giving, most of them were still wearing their presents throughout the rest of the day.


We then, per Claude's request, went on a hike after present opening. Was fun, had some intrusive thoughts that Raymond helped me get rid of. 


I found that after active forcing, they got oddly quiet and it was hard to focus on them- I feel a lot of energy was used during it, resulting in there being less talking. But things overall have been fine, since. So... yeah. Fun day.

Hiya. Member of the Horrible Hosts Club (HHC). If you wanna learn about my system, here's my PR.

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(12:09 PM)


Woo boy, this has been a huge day for us. For starters, we went to the dungeons for forcing, today, and fought NPCs. I found the methods of fighting interesting- especially Sen's. Sen did not kill them, but instead "healed" them, specifically their hearts, to make them good again. One even punched us a way to a treasure room after, so it worked out well.


Where things really got wild was after I discovered this, though: A guide based on finding your Tulpa's essence. I asked the system after reading this if anyone wanted to, and Sen, Michael, and Claude wished to do this. Sen, after our discussion, didn't really need it- she's still young, after all, with little no no corruption.


Michael and Claude, on the other hand, had valid reasons to want to do this. Michael had allowed doubts and insecurities to consume him. He told me himself, "I don't want to be this weak. I'm supposed to be strong, a protector." Claude, on the other hand, wanted to find his since lost happiness.


Michael's journey led us to an exotic forest- similar to where he'd been when I first wrote him up as a character- and we spent quiet a bit of time chasing the energy- not much in real time, but it felt to be long. The energy soon stopped for us, though, and as Michael took it in, I could see him crying, but also smiling as he did so.


Claude, on the other hand, took us to the first place he'd gained shape- a wonderland version of my own house. Unlike Michael's though, Claude couldn't even absorb his energy at first. Something was holding him back, and after further discussion, I simply told him I'd love him no matter what- as would everyone else, even if he wasn't able to absorb it.


It was then that the energy finally accepted Claude, in a sense, and he took it in- and as he did so, I saw something come out of him. It was the remnants of a thoughtform I'd once attempted, back when I made him. The one who'd fused with him a long time ago. 


Now, I don't think this was really her. I think that was instead a symbol of Claude finally letting go of the past, and being ready to move forward, properly, with us. This was a huge success for both of them, and Claude especially almost seems like a different person than he was just a short while ago. The future looks bright. 



I'll keep you posted, if we do more today.




I didn't do much save for passive forcing after this, but I did forget to include something here: Andrew has had a form deviation since the forcing session I forgot to include. For Christmas, Michael gave him a necklace with a golden butterfly- that glowed a light blue. Andrew loved it.


And thus, today, he decided to have butterfly wings. Blue ones. He looks satisfied with them, really, and it makes him look a lot like a fairy with them on. He's been more vocal without directly pulling him into conversation since this change, so I feel this is a step towards his development I much approve of.

Hiya. Member of the Horrible Hosts Club (HHC). If you wanna learn about my system, here's my PR.

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Today's been a bit of an emotional day for us. Raymond had a negative spiral, which, after I pulled him out of it, I fell into one myself, doubting myself as a host. We, as a collective group of minds, decided that until stated otherwise, self negativity is now banned.


Now, if someone does think something negative, it will be picked up and metaphorically burned away into nothingness. It's... actually kind of funny, in a way, and I feel it'll be good for us.


In terms of progress, Kane spent the majority of yesterday out in the main area, for once. He, Michael, Claude and I had some very nice conversation and watched videos together. I actually felt somewhat embarrassed with watching certain videos since I felt my humor was almost.. too childish, for them. It was an odd, but enjoyable time. Kane seems to have finally deemed himself ready to come out of wonderland more and talk with us, so I look forward to including him more.


Post notes: Kane here. I'd like to point out I had no problem with what she watches. Seriously, I'm not that much of a jerk. I just find the really silly stuff kinda boring, since it feel like it's trying to force you into laughing with surprise, instead of being genuinely funny. But maybe I'm just being a debby downer.


[align=left]I still don't like the idea of possessing or taking the front- I just don't feel it's my place to- but I do have to admit I liked being up there with everyone. Heh, maybe the bolder ones are rubbing off on me. For now, this is enough for me. In case I don't speak again before the 1st, I wish everyone a Happy New Year's. Let's hope next year isn't as shitty as this one was. Heh.


(10:39 PM)


For the sake of simplicity, I'll put the remainder of my update in this post instead of breaking it up. Today, I active forced far differently than I usually do- namely because today was orchestrated by Andrew.[/align]


See, I knew I'd done something wrong when sir Butterfly was pouting up a storm in my head, when I remembered- I'd told them I was going to force with them earlier and forgotten. The others are known to let this slide, but god forbid Andrew do so. It took some pushing from him, but I did relent and drop everything to do some active forcing with them- and boy, am I glad I did.


Turns out he and Sen had orchestrated an underwater adventure of sorts, on their own. The plan was simple- gems were hidden in the sea, for us to find. I find it fascinating that during it, I'd fallen to the bottom of the ocean-stage itself, leaving a bright room- and alas, one of the best hidden gems was there.


The other gems were found with some effort, and it was up to me to decide where these gems led. For fun, we all discussed and decided they'd lead to a fantasy kingdom. I became a mage, Andrew took on Archer, Kane became a magic-using knight, Raymond became a Tank-like Knight, Michael a necromancer, and Sen becoming a more innocent version of a succubus, seducing her enemies into avoiding combat.


As it turns out, the king in this kingdom was corrupt, due to having lost his wife. Again, there was a long discussion on what to do with him, but majority ruled he'd live. The kingdom needed a new ruler, though, and we became it, really- once again Andrew's idea.


[align=left]The rest of the time was spent fixing up the castle to our liking, making it homely. We don't know how long this will be our wonderland, but we do intend to explore and play with it quite a bit before we move onto the next one.


It took me until this very moment to realize Claude wasn't with us the entire time. He says he was asleep, so there's no hard feelings, but I am really bummed I didn't notice he wasn't there.[/align]

Hiya. Member of the Horrible Hosts Club (HHC). If you wanna learn about my system, here's my PR.

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Well hello Kane. And a happy new year to you and your entire system!


A happy new year to you, too!

Hiya. Member of the Horrible Hosts Club (HHC). If you wanna learn about my system, here's my PR.

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Whelp, we've hit the end of the year, and things have gotten a little crazy.


Claude's been quiet as of recent, and just recently, I found out why. It turns out he's lately been feeling very, very connected to my very first Soulbond I'd accidentally made when I was a kid: Hub- or as I now call him, Saito- from Megaman Battle Network. I don't know why this happened, really. Either he picked up some remnant shards of it, or I've somehow melded that idea onto him in some way- which I wouldn't entirely cast aside. Their mindvoices are identical, so it's hard not to think of Hub. Regardless, what's unsettling to me is that he even remembers, for the most part, what their names were when I'd first made that world. Something even I had forgotten and needed to look up to double check. 


For now, there's not much I can do- after all, I can't just wish the identity crisis he's having away- but I have told Claude, repeatedly, that he is not Saito. Or, at the very least, he doesn't have to be . He can be whoever he wants. I love him as he is, and whatever he chooses to identify as after this, I support him, and the rest of us will too. 


This seems to have eased his nerves a great deal. Now, it's just a matter of letting him figure himself out while keeping out of it- I don't want to influence his thinking too much with my own thoughts.




Right, that said, on happier notes, progress. Today, I let Michael temporarily front as I played Love Live. It was actually kind of funny, as the difficult songs made him panic a bit, and I found out he really didn't like You. He preferred Mari aesthetically, and this doesn't surprise me, as every time he makes a "persona" in a game, it's typically a blonde female. He did well, though.


Another interesting discovery is how much control Andrew has on my energy. He pumps me with energy in ways that lead me to be more pro-active than I'm used to. It's a very nice change, and I can wholeheartedly say I'm glad to have him around.


On a funnier note, Kane tried to act very much like a father to me today. He told me to watch my tone with him. Not really progress, but that, followed by the "Holy shit" that came from Raymond right after, cracked me up for a good minute.


That's all for today. If I do force tonight, I'll probably just include it in this post later. Happy New Year to all~

Hiya. Member of the Horrible Hosts Club (HHC). If you wanna learn about my system, here's my PR.

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We're finally in the new year with days before I move, but there is some progress to note.


Claude's finally sorted himself out fully. Well... for the most part. He does feel he's related to Saito in some way, and does feel a strong connection to him; in the end, however, Claude is Claude. And as said, I love him as he is. And he is more than happy to move forward. He has found a liking to using the laser canon Saito used, and has since grown out his hair like him as well- though not entirely in the same way, as it's black and has a curl to it. Looks good on him.


Andrew, meanwhile, astounds me with his growing strength. He gave me quite a bit of head pressures today. Specifically, I was playing a phone game and he made my head fuzz up and heat up, to get my attention. It was his way of saying I'd been focusing too much on the game, and not on them. This got me curious as to his abilities, so I decided to let him try possession. It was a huge success up to the elbow, and he had full control of my hand, even typing with it, shaking my other hand, and giving me a thumbs up. (In fact, he was trying to move the hand even now as I was typing this, but I have since politely asked him to stop).


At this rate, I'll definitely have him try fronting for an extended time, as well as with the others, soon.

Hiya. Member of the Horrible Hosts Club (HHC). If you wanna learn about my system, here's my PR.

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