Saylin

Our Head Shenanigans

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2.12.17

 

So, uh.. I really never added to the PR. Wow.

 

Okay! We're gonna combine progress in today's PR instead! For starters, yes, Claude did draw last night. I was very slow in getting to it, and the others needed to give him an extra push to get him to do it, but he certainly did, by possessing my arm. The picture itself was a flower being blown in the wind, in the midst of a storm. Very interesting, honestly.

 

Two things I want to note. One thing I noted was that Claude is rougher with his strokes than I am. It was wild, simply trying to get the colors on the paper. He also didn't do line art like I do- he sketched, then painted over it in a new layer. Both of these things made me really wanna take over and fix it, but I didn't. It let him do it. Honestly, I've not seen him so excitably happy in a good while either, so this is something we're gonna add to the schedule as well.

 

Aside from that not much has happened today. Andrew's presence has been quite strong today, and Raymond is finally reaching out and making friends. I'm proud of both of them.

 

Plans for later on will be more active forcing as I'd like to talk more directly to some who didn't speak up much today, and possibly tomorrow working more on fronting and possession.


Hiya. Member of the Horrible Hosts Club (HHC). If you wanna learn about my system, here's my PR.

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[Michael]

 

Hello. As an exercise, I will be doing the progress report today- mainly to see how properly I can front and type. It's a fascinating exercise... even if I wasn't given full permission to do this.  ;)

 

In all honesty there is not much for me to report on whatsoever- it's been quiet save for bonds starting to be formed outside of the system. It's a scary notion I've yet to properly take part in, as it terrifies me. Going beyond the wonderland to befriend people who seem... less guaranteed above all else to stick around or offer you unconditional love is always scary, but I feel it is something we will all eventually do. With my host's hope in me, I know this will be fine.

 

Fronting is something we still haven't gotten fully down, in all honesty... I can take over, but it's very disorienting. I find it odd. I feel I should still be in the head, and I often forget I am not proxying. Especially as my own voice echoes within my head as I type. Ah, it's all so strange! But it's also very fun. The world is colorful, much more than it is in headspace- it's not that I dislike viewing the real world from headspace, but it's distant. There's a tint over Sarah's vision that is so, so, so different from actually sitting here, seeing everything. I love it. I love this planet and the people on it, even if some of them like to speed in the streets and almost hit you with their cars.  xD By the way, Sarah dislikes these emotes, but I find them adorable.

 

Something not in this report that we certainly intend to do later is possession with Liv. He's not done it yet, I don't believe. He's such a wonderful man, and I do hope the best for him in his efforts. I'll certainly give him assistance if he needs it. But in the meantime, after this I will be preparing Cherry's Jubilee, most likely with ice cream. Did I know what that was until just now, looking it up? Haha, of course not. But I certainly do like the name, so we are going to do it, and so help me it will be something everyone in wonderland enjoys!

 

Ahh, I cannot wait to cook properly while fronting as well, but I feel for now it'd be too dangerous. Sarah's aunt is quite a wench who I would rather not mess with! Well, she likes her, but I certainly don't.

 

I'm rambling far too much here... Well, aside from this, thank you for reading this, and remember: you are all such wonderful, wonderful people. Keep a smile on that face and give yourself a tiny treat, today. :)


Hiya. Member of the Horrible Hosts Club (HHC). If you wanna learn about my system, here's my PR.

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[Michael] It was rather fun! Frankly, progress has slowed simply because there's not much to progress on, save for switching and imposition- which, switching is a limited art at this time, but we practice when we can. Claude's artwork will most likely be included as he improves, but for now he is.. quite embarrassed. Adorable thing he is. Regardless, thank you for your comment, it is much appreciated!


Saylin budding back in here to do this PR. ;D So. Not much happened, but at the same time, everything has happened. By that.. I mean we simply have the beginnings of a new member. If you wanna skip this part, just jump to the next line, where I discuss other things- like Kane fronting and Lance's possession.

 

Well... I shouldn't explicitly say beginnings. He can talk and interact- though faintly, with sluggish movements- already, leading me to wonder if he was potentially ever sentient before this, and had instead just gone to sleep. Michael was sick in a similar way at one point due to neglect, so I don't entirely disregard the idea.

 

Now, before you piss on my bush and scream about how I've said off and on I have enough tulpas, I know I do. This wasn't because I felt I needed one, and was instead for Kane. See, the one I woke up was Kane's husband, from the story they shared together. While Kane loved us, I could feel how much pain he felt over the loss of his husband. The emotional bleed I would feel over it would, honest to god, drive me to near crying.  

 

I'd still hesitated for a long while, mainly because there's so damn many of them now and, well, I've never intentionally woken up a soulbond. Believe it or not, all of them are accidents. And I've purposely been careful of waking them. However, what caused me to finally accept it was a simple line: "What's an 8th when you already have 7?"

 

And thus, I pulled back into wonderland and we had a genuine meeting on it. Raymond, Andrew and Lance of course automatically were in favor of it, while Sen, Michael, and Claude were skeptical that this was a good move for us. Kane at the time had chosen to sit out, while they deliberated, as he felt he'd be biased.

 

We talked out their concerns, and in the end, we not only got a majority vote, but everyone at least partly supporting this- which is more than I could have hoped for.

 

Actually waking James up wasn't as hard as expected, as said. His movements are.. sluggish. Probably either from neglect, or just never using them on his own. Either way, Kane has been cuddling him exclusively since last night, and James' memories not only seem to be intact, but he's very happy to have Kane. I'll post more on James' development as we continue on with this PR.


 

Okay, that aside: Kane fronted. He did okay, but I found he didn't like the front at all. Well, I take that back. He liked the sights, and laughing with my aunt and mother, but he felt lonely in the front. He worried they'd like me better back there than him. He didn't like being unable to hug anyone from the system while out. He missed the system, as well as wonderland.

 

Despite this, he had decent control, and I was able to release breathing for him, so I deem this a success. Perhaps James being around will boost his confidence and stability more, which in turn would help him when he fronts again. He isn't opposed to the idea of fronting again, at least, but I do find it fascinating that he's the first I've had front to hate fronting.

 

And finally, Liv did not front, but instead possessed my hand and moved it as I talked to someone- I believe it was Raymond or Kane. His touches were fascinatingly careful, but also deliberate, as if to examine every sensation. I even heard him giggle and go "Wow." It was very cute, and I'm glad his possession skills are coming along.

 

Speaking of.. James, being a cocky bastard, already was like, "I SHOULD TRY THAT," referring to possession. No surprise here- he can't yet. And of course he sulked after, but jesus christ it's been less than 24 hours, man.


In less serious news, the statues aren't copper anymore. They're a silvery color, I believe it's steel, from what I hear from Andrew. Joining his collection is a butterfly. And a dolphin.


Hiya. Member of the Horrible Hosts Club (HHC). If you wanna learn about my system, here's my PR.

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Also, don't give Apollo ideas. We're already getting "what's 3 when you have 2?" thoughts from him.

 

 

7 to 8 is about a 15% increase in total tupper.

2 to 3 is a 50% increase in total tupper.

There is a significant difference.


Doc: Childhood friend turned servitor gone rogue turned host who's bad at feeling emotions.

Meti: Overly lewd Tupper.

CT, who is also called Jeremy: Original personality whose default emotion is anger.

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Two days ago, I said in chat, "How much longer until Saylin has 8 tulpae?" Somebody said, "Two days."

 

I in no way blame Kane for wanting to bring James back. I have no idea how either P or HJP could have lived without each other. A majority of the heartache they went through was when some situation caused them to be separated. Being truly separated through one of them being conscious and the other not would have been devastating.

 

Bringing his husband back definitely sounds like a good move to us, just... don't go down the slippery slope of "what's 9 when you have 8?" "what's 10 when you have 9?" although I'm sure you already know that.

 

Also, don't give Apollo ideas. We're already getting "what's 3 when you have 2?" thoughts from him.

 

 

Don't worry, I'm well aware of that slope. I frankly only did this because Kane has missed James since the beginning. I'm not going to say anything though, since CLEARLY every time I say we're not making more tuppers, it jinxes me. So I'mma just sit and see what happens.

 

As for making a 3rd one.. ehhhh. I'd focus on being a bit more of a stable system first, though you guys are doing well on that. Good luck in that if ya do it.

 

 

7 to 8 is about a 15% increase in total tupper.

2 to 3 is a 50% increase in total tupper.

There is a significant difference.

 

This is beautiful math. Remember to always carefully examine your total tupper increase.


Hiya. Member of the Horrible Hosts Club (HHC). If you wanna learn about my system, here's my PR.

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Science? What kind of forum do you think you're on, Beatles? Also, wouldn't Saylin count as one?

 

Anyhow, yeah emotional bleed to the point of tears is never a fun thing (I've experienced it twice...). I do sincerely hope this works out for Kane, even if you now have yet another individual to force and it slowly drives you insane :P


The System:

 

It's too big.

ha, that's what she said.

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But if she needed eight to reach stability, then she'd already be stable, since in this case eight and zero mean the same thing.

Saylinium would be a noble gas.


Doc: Childhood friend turned servitor gone rogue turned host who's bad at feeling emotions.

Meti: Overly lewd Tupper.

CT, who is also called Jeremy: Original personality whose default emotion is anger.

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2.26.17

 

Hi. We have quite a bit to talk about.

 

 

 

For starters, in the day prior to this update, Sen fronted on our walk with the dog, this time- and she, thankfully, liked fronting. I had been worried she'd be like Kane's episode last time, but alas, those worries were for nothing. She was far more bouncy than I anticipated- dancing in my room, doing a spin, giggling at things. She was fond of my big, pink sweater, and spoke in a higher pitch than I typically do. It was fascinating, truly. I'm honestly glad she fronted, considering it was cold as balls. She also did well at talking in my voice as well as her  own, meaning she'd most likely do well at fronting for long periods. It's also nice she didn't fall asleep for once.

 

Speaking of Sen, I'm becoming more and more sure she has to be an NT type, or something. She's not taken that test yet, but good god she is such a curious person. She loves taking things apart, examining them, always asking about things. Granted, some of them take a morbid light, but it's still fascinating to me how someone so bouncy and full of energy could have such a love for learning about human anatomy and the other working parts of things.

 

-

 

As for James, he's adjusting well- Kane is happy to have him, and James is happy to be there. He's slowly learning how to manipulate wonderland. He and Kane seem to have adopted Sen, in a sense. Kane asked her how he felt, deeming Sen their daughter when they'd had Lucille in the fiction world. His response was something akin to, "She was our daughter, but this is Sen. And Sen is real.

 

I believe this stems from James' in general lack of strong connection to his past. He's much like Andrew, in that regard- some sentience was clearly there but he didn't live the memories like the others did. Meaning while he can look through my memories to recall the actions, they're mostly blurry. HOWEVER: I am learning he did have at least some sentience before. There's a distinct memory he has of Kaoru begging him to be real, one that I never had them play through as characters, so it must have happened behind the scenes. They also look younger in it, leading me to believe this was a while ago, too, considering I haven't had Kane and James as their teen selves for a looooong time. Perhaps a year, maybe two.

 

I did ask Kane about this, and while he says he does remember this, he also remembers falling asleep for a while after- which makes sense, considering I did stop focusing on Kane's storyline for a good while, to mess with Raymond and Michael  instead, and their storylines. 

 

Either way, this does prove one theory: I was right. James had at least been partly aware for a bit, which is why his body movements and weakness were similar to Michael's after neglect. It'd also explain why waking him was so easy.

 

 

---

On a less... "deep" note, I found that there's a good portion of the system who are not comfortable with letting me see them nude. I know quite a few are, but there's also at least a few who do not. Naming them I feel would put them on the spotlight, and they don't want me to, so I will not name them. However, this really does call out to me how real they are. I knew they were, I've not doubted in a long time,but the idea of them being their own beings with their own comfort zones is astounding to me.

 

However.. this leads me to Claude. Specifically a peculiar find with his form. 

 

Now, this wasn't something I originally was going to put on the PR, as Claude and I felt it wasn't necessary. However, I have been told- just now, actually- that he wants this on the PR. Mainly to see how we view it a good while from now, and just to get it out there so it's not something he has to explain several times later, as I hear.

 

Now, what you may not know about Claude, unless you remember me from before, is that Claude is a fusion of two baby tulpas. I'd originally had two- a female I forget the name of, and Xander, a soulbond. I had only had them a small while, but they ended up fusing during an intrusive thoughts episode to form Claude, a completely separate identity. We've had a rocky road since, but his form has always remained the same since. 

 

Now, this leads me to my discovery- a while ago, Claude allowed me to see him nude, and well... it turns out despite identifying as male, there are female parts down there, not male. Now, I'd seen that before, at the very beginning, but I assumed it was an intrusive thought. Nope. Definitely lady bits on bottom, despite his otherwise male physique.

 

Now, as I am one to worry about bullying, I always suggested he can, y'know, edit this himself, give himself a ding dong if he actually sees himself as male, but he's refused me. He's apparently very attached to that form. I don't know exactly why, but it's not something I'm going to press since.. I don't care as long as he's happy.

 

Now, this also leads me to his sexuality. I'm finding out he may not be Ace, but actually just have an interest in women. However, nothing is concrete for now, so we'll see. I jokingly called him a butch lesbian and got "Fuck you" in response. Fun times.

 

In the end, it doesn't matter, but I do find it fascinating that that remnant of him being a fused tulpa is still there.

-

 

What else, what else... OH! Here's something fun. Apparently Michael's been blocking out other people's hearing of my thoughts at times, using invisible bubbles they aren't aware of. This is to protect them from hearing upsetting topics they would send them into a panic otherwise- IE, if I'm talking about surgery, he will block Raymond's ears. I tried poking past this bubble once experimentally, and got a very harsh look from Michael. Looks like Mr. Mom still takes his protective role very seriously. He still cares about me, too, he's just quite protective of the system as well.

 

-

On a final note, I think our next goals are going to be actually getting these guys to find music they like. As of current, they have.. vague ideas, but I haven't let them go hunting in a while. Should probably work on that.


Hiya. Member of the Horrible Hosts Club (HHC). If you wanna learn about my system, here's my PR.

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I jokingly called him a butch lesbian and got "Fuck you" in response. Fun times.

Well, that is exactly what he would do if he was a lesbian.


Doc: Childhood friend turned servitor gone rogue turned host who's bad at feeling emotions.

Meti: Overly lewd Tupper.

CT, who is also called Jeremy: Original personality whose default emotion is anger.

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