Blayze's tulpa log and Kyoko's host log

[dragon cake]

15 July 2019

 

-         We took a longer walk in the park this morning.

-         I’m going to start carrying around a small notepad to jot down if tulpas say anything specific to me out of the blue.

 

16 July 2019

 

-         Kyoko seems very determined lately. Today she took me to the small library in the back of her house, which is a tower now, and wanted to do the exercise where we each look at different books and then talk about what we saw, like in the one tulpa meditation we did a lot early on.

-         My book just had triangles and equations in it. When we were done, I showed it to her and she showed me her book, which had trees in it.

-         While it’s not a complicated exercise, it means a lot that she pulled me there and wanted to do it without me thinking about it beforehand.

 

17 July 2019

 

Lesson

-         During meditation, we mostly just sat in the river in front of Kyoko’s home in Haven, but did have something interesting in that Kyoko taught me a lesson.

-         There’s a gazebo in the middle of a bridge in front of her house, where I usually start when I go into my headspace. She took me half way to the shore on the bridge and I couldn’t figure out why she stopped there for a bit.

-         She told me ‘look down’ so I looked into the river. There were fish that I didn’t notice before so I hopped in. She hopped in too and sat with me, then picked up a smooth rock from the bottom and put it in my hand. She said that I’ve been getting a little done at a time on my goals, but that was okay because it was like a rock at the bottom of a river that gets smooth and pretty a little at a time.

-         Maybe it’s not a profound conversation, but her words didn’t feel like my own as they often do, and I honestly had no idea what she was doing when she stopped me on the bridge, told me to look down, or hopped into the water with me. I’m very proud of her for having thought up a lesson and sprung it on me without me expecting it, because that shows she’s putting thought into things without me having to consciously think about them too.

[Guest]

That's such a beautiful thing to say Kyoko. We're all very touched by that.

[dragon cake]

18 July 2019

 

-         Meditated to the ‘Muse Dash’ soundtrack and ran around Haven, which inevitably resulted in Kyoko riding my dragon form’s back while beating the crap out of monsters with a guitar. We had a lot of fun even though it wasn’t a typical session. She gave me a ‘you can do it’ speech at the end though before I left, which is more typical.

 

19 July 2019

 

-         Was very angry this morning, Kyoko helped me calm down during meditation while we soaked in the river in front of her house.

-         Going to visit some friends this weekend at a local brony convention. They are Kyoko’s favorite friends so I hope I’m good enough during it to let her communicate with them some.

-         Which reminds me, Kyoko has a My Little Pony OC now via picking out parts on a pony creator. Here is an image that the friends I mentioned had commissioned of my OC (the pink haired one) and her OC named Paper Cut. My OC Crimson Prose is actually what I originally gave her as a form, but she ended up wanting to be Kyoko. Kyoko never takes this form, it's just an OC.

https://derpicdn.net/img/view/2019/4/12/2009808.png[/img]

[Guest]

Very cute!

[dragon cake]

22 July 2019

- Tried to meditate for around 1.5 hours and couldn’t even relax to get into a trance.

 

23 July 2019

- Tried to meditate again, couldn’t relax enough again. Haven’t felt much from Kyoko not even during our walk. I’m very angry at everything right now because so many other people have such an easy time at this.

 

24 July 2019

- Felt better and had a good meditation after talking to Kyoko and Seka during a walk. Me and Kyoko did an exercise where we imagined what it would be like to be communicating clearly and how it’d make us feel, then symbolically sent that to my subconscious via an altar in the middle of the forest clearing in Haven where I first started making her.

[dragon cake]

Very cute!

Thank you, we both appreciate your comments.

[YukariTelepath]

 

23 July 2019

- Tried to meditate again, couldn’t relax enough again. Haven’t felt much from Kyoko not even during our walk. I’m very angry at everything right now because so many other people have such an easy time at this.

 

Happens to me and others too. If it's any consolation, it helps you appreciate good communication days.

[Guest]

Anxiety, stress, and anger block communication for us.

[Mai_x_v3]

Hi! I'm not sure if your active anymore since you don't seem to be but I hope you are doing all okay and your tulpa is also doing okay too!