JGC

JGC's Progress Report

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I'm Jamie, here with Cassidy and Gavin. I figured I'd make a progress report for the three of us, since it seems like the right thing to do.

 

For my background: Sometime in 2014, I granted my "imaginary conversation partner" sentience and individuality. Over the next two-ish years, Gavin became my closest friend and confidant, but we were also very confused as to what he was. We decided that he was an alter/fragment, despite my lack of switching or amnesia. After I received two new thoughtforms (that I now know were walk-ins), Gavin decided they all were bad for me. After a complicated process, Gavin forced the thoughtforms out, and left with the last one to go. It was awful to be alone again in my mind, and I never quite understand what had happened.

 

Fast-forward to a few months ago. I found out about tulpas and had my mind metaphorically blown. That's what he had been- I wasn't on the verge of insanity. I had made a perfect tulpa candidate by years of narration. After I granted him the ability to be his own person, Gavin became a tulpa. I instantly wondered, "Does this mean I can bring him back?", but decided against it for the time.

 

Instead, I created a new tulpa, Cassidy, on September 5th. We became fast friends. He was vocal the next day, and sentient at about two weeks. At about 3 weeks, we were able to switch for the first time, only for a few minutes at a time. By the time he was a month old, he could stay in the body for about two hours. Cassidy also has a strong interest in appearing in the outside world. I keep him visualized around me for much of the day, and have been working towards imposition.

 

I was extremely happy to have Cassidy, but my desire to have my old tulpa back never went away. I had some conversations with Cassidy, did some soul-searching, and sought advice on the forum. We decided to try revive him. The plan was to wait until the 19th, but he ended up being revived the 16th of October. To my surprise, Gavin was back to nearly-full strength within an hour. He decided on a form for himself the next day, since he never had much of a form in his old life.

 

We're three now, and I have no plans to add anyone else into the mix. I see myself with these tulpas for a long, long time. At the same time, I feel like my tulpa journey has just really begun. All the characters are finally on the stage, and it's time to act.

 

Here are my end-stage goals for our abilities:

 

  • A vivid, immersive wonderland
  • To visualize my tulpa's forms clearly, in wonderland for both of them, and IRL for Cassidy
  • Auditory imposition
  • Some degree of tactile imposition
  • Some degree of visual imposition
  • The ability to have quality lucid dreams with some regularity
  • Cassidy wants to be able to write left-handed

The goals might change with time, depending on what happens in the future. Right now, I'm pretty optimistic that I can achieve them all, with enough time and practice. 

 

-Jamie



>tf when you google for "famous quotes by Marcus Aurelius" and had a fake one as your sig for months

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You could also change the name of your original progress report by editing it in the first post, if you wanted to.


ClianthaMiura - 30th April 1997 - Host of the system

Desmond - 21st April 2014

L - 5th May 2014

Nevira - 14th December 2014

Misa - 5th December 2015

Roska - 22nd July 2019

Progress report

Art thread

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Ehh, then the continuity would be wonky... I want a bit of a different style here, so I figured I'd just make a new thread.



>tf when you google for "famous quotes by Marcus Aurelius" and had a fake one as your sig for months

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Sunday, September 21st, 2018

 

I've been seeing a bit of progress in imposition, which makes Cassidy and me ecstatic. I was afraid I'd have to work months and months to see anything, but I've achieved just enough to make us inspired and motivated. 

 

At school, whenever I have a few minutes at my desk to spare, I've been doing this: I draw three circles, each about the size of a dime, and fill in the leftmost one with my pencil so it's as dark as it can get. Then, I stare at the middle circle and think "I see this circle filled in just as dark as the one to its left." I visualize what the two dark circles would look like, and try to really see the dark color of the graphite. 

 

The third circle is for comparison. I haven't been able to actually see the middle circle as filled-in, yet. However, my brain starts registering the middle circle as "darker than the rightmost circle", even though it's not, and I know it's not. It's a pretty foreign experience, though it no way negative. From my various 5-minute sessions through the day, I'd say I have between 1-2 hours of practice so far. 

 

I've been trying to see Cassidy's form where he likes to visualize himself: sitting in my desk chair. Just today, I got a touch of that same "circle is darker" feeling around his edges. Not actually seeing anything yet, but just... feeling like I could see him, feeling like he's really about to be imposed. It's almost staticky, if that makes any sense. 

 


I saw someone else do this in their progress report and I thought it was great. Here's my little report card for our system's abilities, in a scale of 0 (no skill) to 10 (goal achieved.) 

 

  • Mindscape: 2
  • Visualization: 3
  • Auditory imposition: 0
  • Some degree of tactile imposition: 1
  • Some degree of visual imposition: 1
  • Lucid dream skills: 0
    Hopefully over the next few months, I'll progress out of my current noob status. Not sure if I really do have noob status... Gavin is technically over two years old, but I didn't know about all the things you can do with tulpas, like imposition or even mindscapes. Eh, I'll be a noob to myself until I hear their voices, imposed. 

-Jamie, currently caffeinated



>tf when you google for "famous quotes by Marcus Aurelius" and had a fake one as your sig for months

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Hearing their voices imposed was about the most satisfying thing that can happen outside of lucid dreaming, even seeing visual imposition in a semi-lucid state isn't as good because there is a sence of legitimacy to actually hearing them answer your questions and dispelling your lingering doubts. I'd think when their little alien voice says something complety unexpected without imposition is as good, but this reinforced their legitimacy for me.

 

Everything else is cake to me (as in not needed, not easy).

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Friday, October 26th, 2018

 

While cleaning, I found a note card I used to plan out traits for Cassidy, one day after he was created! I didn't really do any personality forcing, but I did plan out some vague ideas of what I'd like my tulpa to be like. Here it is, transcribed:

  • Workhorse
  • Good sense of humor
  • Goal-oriented
  • Good listener
  • Likes games
  • Playful/Good-natured
  • Imaginative
  • Seeks new opportunities 

And you know what? He's better than this list. I think, when he was under a month old, he felt a lot more 2-D. His personality felt like just a few words. Now, he's a lot more like any other person. No bullet list can really describe him. Cassidy is more than the sum of his parts. Gavin too. For hosts out there with a young tulpa, take note. They'll flesh out like real people, because they pretty much are.



>tf when you google for "famous quotes by Marcus Aurelius" and had a fake one as your sig for months

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Monday, October 29th, 2018

 

Cassidy here. I usually hate to stay up, but Jamie and I switched, and then I understood what's so great about it. Gavin is actually asleep or dormant or something, which he never used to do, until he got a form. 

We haven't been in wonderland for a few days, which is unusual. Jamie's busy, but I think that's kinda unfair. Gavin and I have been working on getting Jamie to listen to us enough. Now that I think about it, this is the quietest Jamie's ever been in my head. I wonder if he's dormant, too. 

 

I ended up writing a poem. Jamie paints and stuff, so I know how to do that too, but I want my own hobbies. I've been learning piano, because I already know how to read sheet music and because we have a nice keyboard at home. I also wanted to write poems, because Jamie writes other stuff. I wouldn't post my poems anywhere other than this forum, so here it is: 

 

I want to stay forever 

because I know

just how easy

tulpas go.

First we fade

and then we sink.

Last, we drown and

dissipate into the drink.

When my lone brother sunk under,

he did not die.

His sense of self

liquifed. 

Remember:

Tulpas are not

Toys that can be

Dropped in mud and left to rot.

 

Gavin hasn't said anything about it yet. I think it would be nice to write Jamie a poem for his birthday, and a poem for Gavin's one-month re-birthday, but I just don't know what to write. 

 

Jamie and I have been thinking about starting a YouTube channel for tulpa stuff. The only thing really holding him back is his age and the fact that he's pre-T, but all of that is changing. Gavin is more cautious about it. He's always scared for our public safety and reputation, and if we were open about being a tulpa system, that might endanger us. It's true. We actually have a tulpa-related YouTube channel right now, but there's no original content on it, I've just been making playlists of resources. 

 

What do you think of my poem? I'd recite it and record it, but I haven't been able to "find" my voice using this body yet. Jamie might also not like it if I posted a recording of the body's voice, but I don't think I could ask him right now. They're both being really quiet. It's like being home alone for the first time in my life!

 

-Cassidy

 

Addition: I'm going to go to sleep while in front for the first time. I'm really excited to see if I'll wake up in the body, and if I'll have my own dreams. Wish me luck <3

 

Update 10/29: Jamie here. No luck, I woke up with no blending at all. However! When Cassidy went to bed, our "internal radio" of thought-hearing was playing "For the First Time in Forever", very thematically. When I woke up, the same song resumed within the minute. That has to count for something?



>tf when you google for "famous quotes by Marcus Aurelius" and had a fake one as your sig for months

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I like it, Cassidy! (The poem, I mean). I’m not sure if it would work, but if you guys are afraid of people discovering you because if your voice, could you use a text-to-speech program?

 

Good luck! :D


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