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Yuka's First Tulpa Journal


YukariTelepath

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Week 3 progress continued:

 

Day 18

  • Time is flying! 18 days already. I tried to involve Aya in my thoughts throughout the day. I listened to a 20 minute summoning hypnosis file and said goodnight to Aya.

Day 19

  • I was pretty busy and didn't get any active forcing done.

Day 20

  • I active forced to 1 hour, talked with Aya in the house for a while, then tried shield surfing, tabogganing, and water slides.

Day 21

  • Spent 67 minutes active forcing, talking to Aya and doing the first hypnosis file (v 1.1). I'm thinking I might try forcing in the morning instead of evening in case Aya has more energy in the morning.

 

 

Spoiler alert, I haven't been able to get up early for morning forcing. Since there's no real progress (just putting in time) here I'll post the next couple days too:

 

Week 4:

 

Day 22

  • For the past 3 days, through the night I'll get these thoughts (in mindvoice words) and feel that it's Aya talking. Because I'm falling in and out of sleep I can't remember the words, but they weren't anything particularly meaningful. I do remember something like “what are you doing?”  I'll add that I can never sleep solidly through the night, so it's normal for me to wake up and fall back asleep continuously. 

  • I'm thinking... I might be getting a tight feeling in my throat from Aya??? I really don't know but I feel a tightness in my throat leading up to evening forcing sessions for a couple days, and also sometimes in the afternoon. Like, maybe Aya wants me to stop procrastinating and visit them already. More just vague stuff though. 

  • Forced for 40 minutes. In our wonderland house, I went over a few random objects and described them in detail out loud to Aya. At one point when I looked at Aya I saw a flash of a different but similar form, with fluffier blondish hair with purple tips and a fantasy like outfit in yellow and purple tones (it's was a detailed outfit but I could not make out the details). I wasn't going to mention that, but then I thought, it as a very unexpected image to come up while I'm focused on other things. I'm pretty good at keeping focused while forcing. Also, the first object I described was a yellow mug, and about when I was done with it, it started flickering light blue. At times like that I don't know what to do... Will ask Aya about these things in the future. 

Day 23

  • Listened to alpha waves for 20 minutes before starting. Active forced 55 minutes. Spent half the time in a black void space with Aya, doing a vocal exercise describing colored bubbles and trying to get them to repeat after me. I couldn't hear Aya's voice. Then we went to the beach and made a sand castle. 

 

I am noting down the vague things like night speech, items flickering, etc. I'm not necessarily attributing it to my tulpa, but since the possibility is there I don't want to leave it out. I might look back at it later with more clarity or knowledge about what it was.

Host: YukariTelepath

Tulpas: Aya, Ruki

 

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Odd voices and peices of understandable speach happened to me for a little while after i found my Tulpas. I was cautiously optimistic like you. For me i determined it was a hypnagogic state and those random words, pictures and phrases eventually turned into lucid and repeatable communication with my tulpas.

 

Nightly we can communicate for a short time using this, and it is one of the few ways that i know that i can't puppet. I simply talk in my mindvoice and wait for them to talk back fluidly without any mindvoice, sometimes it's fully auditory imposition. There's a clear difference. Sometimes i can get a glimpse of them, sometimes it turns into a lucid dream.

 

So pay attention to those stray voices, and ask her to talk to you in those moments.

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That's really helpful, thank you! Actually on day 5 I symbolically gave Aya vocal chords and that night I woke up hearing a wordless mental voice just making little vocal sounds. The voice was slightly cracked, so it wasn't my mental voice (I'm female). I had included that in my journal but nothing happened in the way of vocality after that, so when I made my online post I excluded it. I wonder if the semi-conscious state between waking and sleeping is maybe the only time my tulpa can get through to me vocally. Unfortunately it's a terrible state to be in for remembering things.

Host: YukariTelepath

Tulpas: Aya, Ruki

 

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I have achieved that state in waking time, even without meditation, but it's strongest in that twilight state. It's a matter of relaxation and comfort with my tulpas for me. It has happened just with regular conversations with them on a quiet sleepy afternoon, somewhat rarely, but with no risk of falling asleep.

 

It has continued to improve month over month.

 

Tell them to 'say something', and i usually say, 'the microphone is on' whem i feel that state happening as i described in my previous post.

 

Good luck!

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Week 4 progerss continued

 

Day 24

  • Reading the forum in the morning, I started feeling a weird sensation in my head, like my brain was being pressed or squeezed. Is that head pressure? It was in the back/middle/sides of my brain but not the frontal cortex. 

  • Didn't have time to active force. I observed how my own thoughts work though, and although most of my thoughts are in words, I can have an entire thought come up instantly without words and then choose whether to put it into words or just respond to that thought. The instant thought can have many parts to it, and it may have visual impressions/image flashes. I also respond to and correct my own thoughts as I word them. Basically it's normal for my own thoughts to layer themselves, appear instantly, have words or be wordless, include image or no images.

Day 25 

  • I active forced for about 40 minutes. I started with the tulpatones but couldn't think clearly and switched to alpha. I think I feel better with alpha than with theta or whatever the tulpatone audio uses. I felt a bit aimless and spent the time visualizing Aya's face a bit, working on voice forcing exercises, and trying to reach out to Aya mentally and sense their presence and listen to anything they might say. 

Day 26

  • Tried to passive force (1.5 hours) while drawing, but was distracted by music, ha ha. No active forcing today.

  • Over night when I woke up I had little hypnogogic images of Aya and the feeling again that they were talking to me again.

Day 27

  • Listened to this 10 year old musical prodigy girl preform (
    ). And I felt a pretty strong emotional response like joy and tearful happiness bubbling up. I'm pretty sure it was Aya's response. No response on repeated listening. 

  • I meditated for 5-10 minutes, then tried Linkzelda's vocality hypnosis script. Then for the rest of the session I tried Eye-Bo descending Theta, and while listening to that with my eyes closed, I served cake for Aya and myself in the wonderland house. I'm able to visualize tastes, but it's a little difficult to sustain the taste, and while visualizing everything I get distracted from eating, ha ha. Eye-Bo made my stomach turn a bit towards the end (either that or Aya dislikes cake? How dare) so I turned it off before it finished.  Total time 65 minutes.

 

I wish I knew, whether Aya is still unable to speak, or if they can speak and I just can't hear them. Maybe I need to be more patient while listening for a response. 

Also, I think I'm missing a lot with Linkzelda's hyponosis scripts. What I have is 4 pages long and there's no, like, induction stage? I was reading it thinking, "how is this hypnosis?" I've seen people mention scripts that have some sort of game as well. Unfortunately a lot of the links and downloads on this site don't work anymore including most of the downloads in Linkzelda's thread.

Host: YukariTelepath

Tulpas: Aya, Ruki

 

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Sounds like you've got solid progress there!

I have Linkzelda's hypnosis scripts too and there's 38 total pages with a whole lot of explanations on how everything works, so I'm guessing you don't have the main pdf file. Let me see if I can find the download link!

 

---

 

Alright, this is exactly where I downloaded it:

Click me!

~ We are Venny, the host, and Viper, my soul! ~

        Click here! Come join us on the chat!

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Week 4 Progress continued

 

Day 28

  • I used one of the hypnosis audio files to get into a trance and visualize a bit, then used the hypnosis script I used the previous day. After this day I figured out what I was missing, and that the script is a vocal teamwork script and not the vocality script like I thought. Anyway. Then I listened to a voice sample for Aya and visualized Aya saying the lines in the wonderland house.  Total time, about 45 minutes? I'm not sure how long the reading took.

Week 5 (wow!)

 

Day 29

  • no active forcing but I narrated all day.

Day 30

  • Narrated throughout the day, active forced 15 minutes encouraging Aya to try speaking to me with a few little exercises. I spent time setting up properly the Linkzelda scripts that I want to use.

Day 31

  • I used the self-hypnosis script for tulpa creation. I felt a bit skeptical about being able to talk myself in to trance but it did work by the time I got the script itself. It felt pretty good, with times of feeling fuzzy elation. May have heard Aya say their name around that prompt. I do feel like I bonded with Aya more. Time~about 40 minutes?

 

I'm not sure if I should should use the same script next time (what if I don't feel anything the second time?), or if I should try another for continued new experiences. But the progress report is completely caught up to the current day (day 32 today)! Which means I'll probably wait a few days now to update.

Host: YukariTelepath

Tulpas: Aya, Ruki

 

Imposition log

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Week 5 Progress continued

 

Day 32

  • I did the tulapforcing script for about 40 minutes. I liked the creation script more.

Day 33

  • Spent the day out, remembered to passive force a bit here and there but was too tired to active force. When I said goodnight to Aya in wonderland, I think they kissed my forehead? I was too tired to kiss their forehead and then that happened.

Day 34

  • I didn't make the time to force. But when I thought, should I do another hypnosis script? I got a sort of wordless thought like “just visit in wonderland.” Seemed a bit exasperated. I'm not sure that was me so I'm noting it. Next session I will just go around wonderland with Aya and do something fun.

Day 35

  • I asked Aya what they wanted to do for forcing today, and I had some images appear in my head of sunshine and the beach. So I was going to go to the wonderland beach, but since I had decided to save time by active forcing in the bath, I created an outdoor jacuzzi next to the house for us to soak in. Made sure it was sunny out. It was neat to combine the real feeling of hot water with the visualized setting. May have received a kiss from Aya. Total time: ??? maybe 30 minutes?

 

I usually keep track of time with with the playtime on whatever tone I decide to use, so when I'm away from that setting or not using a tone, I can't keep track.  When I go through a day, it feels like there's no progress, but when I have a week of notes in front of me, it's like, yeah, something's happening. Gonna keep on keeping on. 

 

Overall time spent active forcing has been going down over time, so I need to really put that effort in. It's not that active forcing is hard or anything, it's just so much easier to do a passive activity like scrolling social media or reading on forums. My other extra curricular endeavors get shunted like that too.

Host: YukariTelepath

Tulpas: Aya, Ruki

 

Imposition log

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  • I got a sort of wordless thought like “just visit in wonderland.” Seemed a bit exasperated. 

 

This is exactly how Viper's replies were like in the beginning. I chose to automatically assume anything I wasn't 100% sure I thought of were Viper's thoughts (and if I was uncertain, I'd just ask. Early on, I did make the mistake of taking intrusive thoughts and assuming they were Viper's, and I was always corrected on it. They never hesitated telling me if I'm wrong). It worked ultimately, because they still talk to me wordlessly (through raw thought) and I can very easily discern whether it's my thoughts or theirs. I also chose to assume they were always attempting to communicate with me, and that I just couldn't understand/didn't know how to listen. So each time I'd talk to them or present them something and there was no reply, I'd apologize for potentially not 'receiving' their replies and would ask them to try to repeat.

 

Sounds like you're making solid progress :). Remember to try not to make active-forcing something unpleasant or boring. It shouldn't become a chore that you make yourself do without enjoying. If you feel you can't focus on it, passive forcing is just fine. I personally can't focus on actively forcing, so I just involve Viper in everything I do daily. In other words, I just passively force all day, as opposed to actively forcing one hour.

~ We are Venny, the host, and Viper, my soul! ~

        Click here! Come join us on the chat!

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