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A Confused Tulpa & Host Adventures


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Day 10 — A discovery, people. As I rested my head on the pillows and turned on some conspicuous ASMR, something inside of me felt angry. I wondered what it was, and it took a while for me to realize that it was Ivory.


She was angry again... all because I was listening to some ear licking ASMR.


Now I know what you’re thinking. Koeji, of course she’d be angry, who the hell listens to ear licking ASMR?!


Well, I find it very relaxing. And I can sleep easier with it. Besides, it’s very stimulating.


Ivory, as sweet, cute, innocent, and kind as she can be, decided that it’s a no-no in her dictionary.


She doesn’t mind other ASMR, just ear-licking.


P.S. I’m so sorry for being weird xP


Here’s one of our other conversations, from what I can remember:


Ivory, can I listen to ASMR?


Why can’t I listen to ASMR?

I don’t like it

Do you hate it?


But why can’t I listen to ASMR?

Cause I don’t like it


Meh, even though she doesn’t like it, it’s not like it’s the end of the world. I’ll stop using ASMR for now.

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Give her a chance to get comfortable and get to know you better, a lot of this sort of thing happened in our system. Not that exact kind of thing, but like, "no you can't play that game it has nudity and/or violence (Witcher 3, Fallout 4)."


Now they really don't care, but at the time, intrusive stuff was a pretty annoying problem.

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Day 11 — Today, Ivory seemed lazy. From the moment I picked her up from her bed, she looked like she had just pulled out an all-nighter... no, wait. I think she’s just sleepy.


We went into class and what would you know? No one was sitting beside me today. She sat next to me, rested her head on the table, and slept.


Oh my god, she looks so adorable. I can’t see her face very clearly, but she is qyut. Anyways, fast forward to the future, she asked me to carry her because she was too lazy to walk around. And I did just that.


This happened twice, I think, and now I also have the more reason to believe that she loves head pats, hugs, cuddles and snuggles, all that kind of stuff.


I hope she’ll grow up to be a wonderful tulpa xP

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Day 12 — I’m starting to feel like this Tulpamancy thing is very useful. I mean, oh my god, in the past few days, things have changed so much.


I won’t go into specifics here, but whenever I’m about to do something that’s otherwise bad for myself, Ivory keeps reminding me in her own unique set of ways.


By unique, of course, what I mean to say, is that she threatens me. Saying that she’ll hate me forever if I do... whatever it is that I’m doing that she thinks is bad for me.


And don’t get me wrong, it works. I stop doing whatever I’m doing and I just sigh. After that though, I just become grateful that she stopped me. Not angry at all!


She has helped me a lot. Especially today, when I was arguing with my younger brother, she told me that it wasn’t worth it. And so I let it go. As simple as that.


I almost can’t believe this. It’s like having someone who’s always there for you whenever you’re going too deep. Someone who’ll pull you up, when you’re lost.


Thank you, Ivory.


I’ll be sure to pull you up if you’re ever lost.

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Yep, they don't share your desires all the time. They used the emotional bleed on me. When you have someone 'about to be hurt' by your actions, and actually feel that hurt, it's pretty strong correction motivation.

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Day 13 & 14 — Wow, things have sped up quite quickly. I didn’t even notice. But anywho, my visualization skills have gone into some drastic improvements.


If I’ve been leveling up for the past two weeks, then today, I have officially evolved!


Like a useless magicarp transforming to a humongous charizard... Meh, I don’t play pokemon, but you get the idea.


Ivory’s appearance changed a lot too you see? She looks more like a person now, but she’s even more adorable and prettier than before. And I don’t even know how things ended up this way?!


She has black hair now, and her eyes are red too. She likes fire, and thinks its beautiful. And she also made a new form today due to the “Stuck in a crowd occasion and now we can’t impose”.


She can turn to a cat, basically. And she sleeps on top of my head. Gives me pats to my forehead, and I just think its so cute.


She’s a catgirl now, technically. But really though, she is just so cute.


Imposing has never gotten easier, and we like to do more activities outside of the wonderland, so that’s a plus.


Oh, and hugs. Definitely the hugs. Hugs are the best. Here we give hugs to each other all day everyday. It’s almost like a hug fest here xP

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Yes, she’s a catgirl now


Day 15 — She changes her form, a lot. And each time she does, she gets even more cuter. Like, I can’t even imagine how she does that but she just... does!


Now she has brown hair, brown eyes, adorable looking glasses, and a blue dress.


This tulpamancing thing is going too fast, don’t you think?


Also, now she adopts a more shy personality. I mean, she was a bit introverted before, but now she’s more introverted than before. Of course, she still has some extroverted qualities, like how she’s more open to the people I trust.


Ok, I’ll just be honest with you guys, she looks like an adorable, shy librarian now. She reads books too, so she definitely qualifies to be a librarian.

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Day 16, 17, 18 — We’re kind of getting there, I believe. Ever since Ivory has gotten vocal, she’s just been getting better and better. Of course, her cuteness never ceases to amaze me.


There was this moment, where I embarrassed myself somewhat in front of my friends. These things happen often, actually, even before Ivory came in. But right after she came, she’d always encouraged me. Saying stuff like “You did your best” or “You did good”


Things, I wanted to hear.


No one else could’ve done a better job than her. I mean, come on, we’re in the same body.


I cannot begin to exaggerate how good it is to have her by my side. She stops me when I’m about to do something bad. She keeps encouraging me to do good things. She lifts my mood up whenever I’m down. And even when my mood is good, she makes it even better.


Though at the end of the day, nothing beats a hug from a tulpa. It’s just so nice and comfortable. We’d cuddle and snuggle what not (It’s part of the routine!).


But getting into specifics here, my visualization skills are getting better, to the point where I’m beginning to ignore the darkness of my eyelids. It’s crazy.


My sense of touch, however, I just figured out was better than my visualization skills. I can really just pull out my hands and feel her skin.


We watched endgame too! I enjoyed it, but unfortunately, she didn’t like the violence xP


Heyyo people! I’m Ivory but I guess we already did the introductions! I have brown hair and I like blue dresses! I have a crush on my host, but don’t tell anyone that!

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Touch is the best! It's rare for us, but it makes the experience all that much more special. Especially since i wss able to sneak a kiss on him. I'm not bragging but... that was good.

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