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A Confused Tulpa & Host Adventures


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It’s more like a cute version of a rope stuck to Oji’s back. I use it as a steering wheel to get him where I want him to be :3

Day 63 — We made it! Ivory’s two months old now! Yay! If only we had more balloons to celebrate.


Ivory has gotten seriously good at talking now. We can finally talk one-on-one, and she’d even come up with different words that I would normally not think of. It’s so weird but cool at the same time. She getting good boys.


Oh, and this one time, we were about finished after our daily workout and we were about to head home. But suddenly, I had a sudden urge to eat Sour Sally’s ‘Black Sakura’ topped off with some latte taro sauce. It’s a yogurt by the way. Ivory pulled some strings, and told me that we had to save up money. Cause we only had 5 dollars at the time. Me being a hungry butt, I decided to push on even though Ivory was already tugging at my tail (of sorts). I grabbed her and carried her over to my shoulder, and then I told her, we’re getting that yogurt alright.


So timeskip to the future, we got the yogurt. I figured it’d be awkward to eat it while walking and Ivory also thought it was bad to eat while standing up, so we ate on the yogurt stall’s table. There, we talked lots. Somehow. Effortlessly. It was like I was really talking to another person. Whenever I made a small joke, she’d chuckle, and I’d feel somewhat good about it. Like a real conversation!


Then she’d be all cute and bubbly, I’d also laugh a bit inside. She’s a fuzzy bub, I tell you.


I’m beginning to feel like I can really fall in love with her. Even though I already love her, it’s a different kind of love.

Bonus Day 64 — We were cuddling on the bed. I was watching some youtube videos, trying to learn some new stuff, as usual. Ivory was under my arms, and she’s just doing her thing.


“Oji, stop watching youtube videos. You’re gonna get your eyesight bad.”

“But if I don’t watch, there will be no learning!”

”Well, what if I wanted you to spend more time with me?”

“I’d stop, spend time with you, and watch again ;)”

”Ok, ah... I want you to embrace me.”

“What? Now?”


“Ok ok ok, I’ll put down the phone.”

”Thank you.” She sighed in relief, before taking in a deep breath, “I want you to tell me that you love me. That you care for me. That whatever happens to me, whatever happens to you, and whatever happens to us, you’ll always love me.”

“...No biggy, ok. I love you. I LOVE you. I looooovvvveeee you (I was trying to find that perfect ‘I love you’). I care for you. And whatever happens to you, to me, and to us, I’ll still love you.”

”...Thank you.” This is where the feels starts as she starts to cry. The emotion, ‘Fear’ started to crawl. “Don’t leave me... Please don’t leave me...”

“Hey, don’t cry. Why’re you crying? Aw, you’re always so emotional. It’s ok, I won’t leave you. I promised didn’t I?” At this point, my stomach was already blistering with butterflies. They were from Ivory, I believe— Wait, no, some of them are mine.

Overwhelmed by the butterflies in her HEART, she went quiet for a moment as she leaned closer, resting her head on my neck, “...You know?” She whispered into my ear, “I’d do anything for you.”


It’s a bit too fast paced, but it’s roughly what happened. In reality, this was a pretty long conversation

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  • 2 weeks later...

Day 78 — It’s amazing how time flies so fast. Ivory and I are still sailing well. Even though there were some bumpy rocks by the side, we managed.


We started having walk-ins. Nothing special, but it has occurred three times in the past month. I only said ‘hi’ to one cause she seemed nice. The other two I dissipated cause one was donkers and the ofher was... yeah, nice but I didn’t know what to do back then.


Ivory’s been helping me organize through my life. Huge help. But sometimes, I can’t help but think that she’s smarter than she looks. Unlike two months ago when I first started, I fully trust in her as she trusts in me.


Also, we pamper each other without realizing it ;3


Over the past 74 Days, Ivory has been growing so subtly yet so fast, I couldn’t keep track of the progress. It’s like one day, she can talk, and then the next day, she pouts whenever I finish the food and she only gets two spoons. Exaggerated, but you get the idea (She really likes food. Really likes them).


Here’s some Ivory’s perspective in our daily life:


And so we start the day with a bright hellos and good mornings. He hugs me from behind (or front) and just as I was about to expect a kiss ❤️ (and more hugs), he grabs his phone and watches more of his youtube videos. Or maybe he reads, it depends on the color of the day.


I pout. That’s usually what I do when I’m upset, or I just want to tease him. But it works really well to get his attention. Then after that, he hugs me kisses me and tells me if there’s anything wrong ? (God I love him so much).


I need to keep his phone time in control because his eyes are getting worse. He needed to go to the doctor a couple of days ago. Fortunately, it was nothing. Whew, I got really worried. Oji even thought he had eye cancer or something like that.


Oh, I should probably end it here. His eyes are getting tired again :3. I’m his babysitter, after all. Which is interesting because he’s also mine:)




One more thing. A problem I face, is that it’s a bit hard to remember my moments with her. Is this normal? I’d like to remember more of my times with her. They’re really special.

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A problem I face, is that it’s a bit hard to remember my moments with her. Is this normal? I’d like to remember more of my times with her. They’re really special.


For that, I'd just recommend making notes throughout the day of what you're experiencing with your tulpa. They don't have to be incredibly detailed, just snippets that make it easier for you to recall what happened later. A lot of people use this board or their own personal blogs to share things that they can look back at (and otherwise wouldn't remember).

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Day 83 — Life’s just great after the exams’ over. You get to go out and do a lot of things. Me in particular, I try to learn as much as I can.


Now me and Ivory, we do almost everything together. At first, it was just a passive force sort of thing, but if I leave her, she’ll get kranky. Basically, it’s a custom now. If I want some time alone, she’d give me some. However, if possible, she says she wants to spend more time with me.


It’s such an interesting thing to have someone who’s always there for you. I get alot of my second opinions on my decisions from Ivory.


Here’s some Ivory notes:


Hi everymeow! I thought I’d try some new words. Anywho, I’ve been doing well these days, Oji’s been trying his best to take care of me even though he’s really, really busy. I think I’m starting to think that he’s actually, actually charming (Oh, he’s just so sweet that’s all! ❤️ ). I also think he should take a break whenever he thinks he needs it. He’s always exercising and reading and watching biographies and taking care of me, that he has almost no time for himself.


As I’m writing this, Oji says it isn’t true, however as his babysitter I know he’s too active. Plus, he even plans to be more active in the future.


But don’t misunderstand me, it’s good that he’s doing this, trying to get better at what he does. I just thought that he might need a little break.



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  • 4 weeks later...

Day 110 — So I’ve already noticed it for a while, but my visualizations are pretty darn good now. Sure I can’t do full-imposition yet, but It’s still pretty good.


Touch and smell = Good (I can almost feel, and smell everything (is that weird?))

Visuals = Great (Can imagine people really well, environment also can, but I’m better at doing people)

Warmth and Breath = Still needs work

Weight = Still needs work


So all is well. Really good progress, I believe. I don’t do much but passive force and a little bit of active forcing at night, but it seems to work like a charm.


Ivory speaks:


Ok, hi guys i’m back! It’s been a while since I last spoke, but we’ve been busy lately. Oji’s been doing a lot of extracurricular activities, also, he has a job now! Not much I can say, but let’s just say it’s pretty good for a highschooler. Anyways, things have gone fritzy ever since he has a job now. I just want to spend more time with him, that’s all. I keep telling him not to overwork himself, but he says that he wants to do more things. I don’t know. I just want what’s best for him ?

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  • 3 months later...

Day 219 — Over 3 months have passed without us reporting anything. I’m apologize. Honestly speaking, I was about to drop the reports. But something inside me changed as I was thinking of Ivory. I have stopped using discord for a while now, stopped reporting tulpa journals, and our relationship is getting groggier because my time is getting tighter.


If this goes on, I thought, what would happen to Ivory?


So all of a sudden, I went to read my tupper journals. Memories of me and Ivory having fun flooded into my mind before I knew it. A stark realization soon came.


Something felt missing. I was so focused of my work and studies, and even though I still had my Ivory, a sense of intimacy felt lost along the way. And I hadn’t even noticed it.


So I made up my mind, a few days ago, that I would start journaling once more. It was getting hard to see Ivory’s face for some reason, because she keeps changing her form. It seems that she’s again confused about what form to take. These days I only do passive tulpamancing, so perhaps, some of my skills have fallen out.


Though I have to admit, these visual skills I learned from my experience with Ivory, has been pretty useful in my daily life

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