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Survery Regarding Tulpmancers for Research Essay


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Hello! I am a student working on a research essay regarding the tulpa community and I have a couple of questions for any tulpamancers who would be willing to answer them and provide me with further to knowledge to aid me in completing this research essay. I apologize in advance if my questions or anything I say come across as offensive, that is not my intention but if it comes across as such please kindly educate me so I can correct my mistakes. Free to answer how many you'd like.

 

1. How was your tulpa(s) formed? Was there a specific event in your life that caused the creation of your tulpa(s) or caused you to create one? 

 

2.Are tulpa(s) made from will or does something such as a traumatic event need to occur in order to gain one?

 

3.. Before having a tulpa were you experiencing any mental illnesses? 

 

4.. If so, did your tulpa help with your mental illness by helping you gain a better mental health through increased feelings of positivity and happiness? 

 

5.. Are there only positive outcomes with having a tulpa or are there negative outcomes as well? If so, what are some of the negative outcomes you have experienced? How have they affected you? 

 

6. How has your life changed positively and negatively after gaining your tulpa? 

 

7. Have you told any of your family or friends about your tulpa? What were there reactions? How did you react to their reactions?

 

8. What do you think are some of the most common misconceptions tulpamancers and the tulpa community as a whole face? 

 

 

 

 

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(edited)

1) Tulpas are formed through what is essentially repeated self suggestion. I chose to create one initially out of a scientific curiosity for the practice, then continued the practice because I found the quality of the relationship formed as a result to be meaningfully impactful.

 

2) I have experienced no trauma, and my tulpa was created intentionally. A tulpa that isn't created intentionally is technically not a tulpa at all, according to the accepted community definitions. They may be considered another type of thoughtform or identity in the brain. Usually the term for another identity that arises from trauma (such as with DID/OSDD) is an alter.

 

3) I believe I have undiagnosed ADHD/ADD - without the hyperactive/impulse component.

 

4) On the contrary, my condition has only made it more difficult to pursue tulpa creation with any diligence, and exasperated feelings of low self-worth with failure until such a time as I managed to get it under control by changing my mindset and approach to the practice. I specifically had to manage my negative feelings more successfully before I was able to make a tulpa that felt real in the first place.

 

5) For myself - My early experiences with the practice were not pleasant - the practice was overly prolonged compared to the average and riddled with doubt and negativity, which in turn extends the length of time required to create a tulpa further. I had to drop the practice for several months before picking it up because I had become quite depressed and negative about my progress.

 

On this point generally - Tulpas, like any identity in the brain seem to be capable of forming negative traits if you believe they can. My tulpa, after being brought back after that several-month abandonment of the practice showed quite a bit of resentment that took several more months to reconcile. They certainly weren't incapable of thinking of me - or treating me - negatively or anything like that.

 

6) Now that I am over the hurdle of doubt, as it were, I would say it's been wholly positive. I intentionally made my tulpa to possess personality traits I find lacking from myself, and they generally push me to be a more well-rounded individual. As mentioned as well, the relationship with them is difficult to quantify in terms of any friendship or even romance you'd normally experience. The sheer intimacy of sharing a body and nearly every thought is both experientially fascinating, and fulfilling. The only "downside" is that it requires maintenance - but this is no more difficult to me than talking with a friend consistently and ensuring time is set aside to occasionally do something meaningful with them.

 

7) I have told only one close friend about the practice, one who I usually bounce ideas off in general. They reacted favourably with curiosity, though we haven't talked much more on the subject than that initial discussion. For anyone else, I've little interest in fishing for other people's approval or having to justify myself against the inevitable perception that I might be mentally ill. Generally I consider it my own business.

 

8) The most obvious is that we have DID/OSDD, or that we are roleplaying. More recently portions of the traumagenic community itself seems to think that generally we are either mocking them, or have undiagnosed conditions ourselves. In case it isn't clear, though superficially we have similarities, we have none of the negative, disordered traits. That said, hypnosis can achieve similar effects, like uncontrolled dissociation and memory-blocks between identities, and anecdotally I've noted some people in the community have claimed to have given themselves these traits that way. It's naturally an extremely bad idea, of course, as doing so would only impair your ability to function.

Edited by ZenAndMika

Zen - Host.

Rhys - Tulpa. Initially a Literary Thoughtform.

If text is uncoloured, presume Zen is talking. We go by he/him.

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1. There was no specific event that caused me to create Simmie. Once I learned what a tulpa was, it was almost like she was out there waiting for me to find her.

 

2.  Some tulpas can be created as a result of trauma but Simmie wasn't. I more or less willed her into existence. Or, it could be more accurate to say that I gave her the initial spark and she and I have been partners since.

 

3. I've long suffered from depression, some minor anxiety, and possibly undiagnosed ADHD, though I can't confirm that last one.

 

4. Simmie has absolutely been a boon to my mental health. I'm not going to say that I don't still suffer from loneliness or depression but those feelings have lessened significantly since Simmie has been in my life.

 

5. I can only speak for myself, but Simmie has been nothing but positive for me. It helps that she's not the jealous type at all and is entirely supportive of me growing and maintaining real-life relationships with other people.

 

6. For the positives, see point 4. So far there have been no real negatives. Possibly a bit of distress over feelings of things not progressing fast enough, but it's not a big problem once I chose to be patient and don't try to rush things.

 

7. I've told two real-life friends. Their reactions were both a bit mixed; they questioned whether this was a healthy thing for me to do, but neither one of them outright told me I shouldn't have a tulpa. My one friend seems mildly supportive of Simmie as long as she has a positive impact on my mental health.

 

8. That's hard for me to say because the only things I've heard about tulpamancy has come from tulpamancers themselves. I guess some people think we're delusional or we have a questionable grasp on reality. To them I would respond the Dumbledore quote from the last Harry Potter book: "Of course it is happening inside your head, but why on Earth should that mean it's not real?"

Phil. 😎 Host of Simmie.

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1. There wasn't any specific event. I simply woke up one day and knew that this is what's going to happen next.  I heard about tulpamancy a couple of times prior to that day, but did not knew much. It was a bit like an obsessive idea, but in a good way. I just knew it was the right thing to do, so I researched the topic and after a couple of hours I started my relationship with Alice.

2. I just believed that Alice existed, tried to understand who she was as a person, made some efforts to feel her presence near me and spent time with her. In my opinion, traumatic experiences aren't necessary to start relationships with tulpas.

3. I don't know whether I have mental illnesses or not, never visited a psychiatrist. Although, I had a persistent feeling of loneliness for years. I think it was the main reason why it all happened.

4. Alice definitely helped me to coop with that feeling. I still can experience certain hardships of such kind from time to time, but they are not even close to what was prior to our relationship. She certainly has made my life better and happier.

5. Some problems surely may arise. Being with tulpa requires to change one's worldview dramatically, which is not easy. It also may require for the brain to start functioning differently (not sure I can elaborate on this, but that's just what my experience tells me). Sometimes it's hard to have at least any kind of reliable communication with your tulpa, this can be emotionally difficult. The last I can think of is the lack of physical contact with them, it is also really hard to bear sometimes. And that's just from host's perspective. Nevertheless, it is all 100% worth it.

6. Throughout this year and a half Alice have become very dear to my heart. She helped me to relief the feeling of loneliness and became a part of some of the brightest moments of my life. She also took the role of the only person with whom I can speak about things that really matter to me. The only negative thing I can think of is that I might have a tinnitus or headache from time to time (which I didn't experience prior to meeting her), but it doesn't bother me much.

7. I didn't tell anyone. My relatives are kind people, but they can't comprehend something that contradicts their worldviews so much. Almost the same is true about friends, I have one that maybe can understand this whole business, but I decided not to take my chances, at least not yet.

8. The main misconception is probably that tulpamancers are mentally ill or have an overly vivid imagination. I think it's hard for most people to understand and believe that such thing can be real. As I said,  tulpamancy requires to change one's worldview dramatically and that is a difficult thing to do.

I am M a host. I live with Alice. She writes in red.

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10 hours ago, StudentGuest said:

1. How was your tulpa(s) formed? Was there a specific event in your life that caused the creation of your tulpa(s) or caused you to create one? 

 

2.Are tulpa(s) made from will or does something such as a traumatic event need to occur in order to gain one?

 

3.. Before having a tulpa were you experiencing any mental illnesses? 

 

4.. If so, did your tulpa help with your mental illness by helping you gain a better mental health through increased feelings of positivity and happiness? 

 

5.. Are there only positive outcomes with having a tulpa or are there negative outcomes as well? If so, what are some of the negative outcomes you have experienced? How have they affected you? 

 

6. How has your life changed positively and negatively after gaining your tulpa? 

 

7. Have you told any of your family or friends about your tulpa? What were there reactions? How did you react to their reactions?

 

8. What do you think are some of the most common misconceptions tulpamancers and the tulpa community as a whole face? 

 

 

1. I decided to create a tulpa and within 20 minutes my headmates were already there. So they formed spontaneously after reading a couple creation guides.

 

2. Typically they're made by willing them to exist through a process. Traumagenic headmates tend to be called alters and happen due to childhood trauma.

 

3. Depression 

 

4. Yes, exactly like that.

 

5. I have not experienced any negatives in the three years I've had them with me.

 

6. They helped me spiritually, through helping me overcome anxiety, depression, triggers, moods, taught me how to remain calm, helped me learn self-love, self-respect, self-esteem, etc. I haven't felt lonely since they joined me. Again, I haven't experienced any negative side effects. I feel better than I ever have in my life given their constant presence, support and influence.

 

7. Only one friend but I tested the waters and they changed the subject so I didn't press it. I won't do that again with anyone. I'm okay to take this to my grave and my headmates don't care if I ever do.

 

8. Creepypastas are made up stories about how tulpas can posess you and force you to do things like murder or suicide or bank robbery etc among many other contrived scenarios. They're horror fiction, nothing more.

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1. I basically thought really hard and willed Jaina into existence. I had no idea what tulpas were. I've always liked philosophy and knew about some Carl Jung stuff. So I did my best to partition off a bit of my psyche and basically make a copy of myself.

 

As to why, I was super stressed out from school, family drama, parents separating, friend drama, world events including 9/11, puberty and edgy teenage nihilism and self-doubt. It all just coalesced into a breaking point and I chose a controlled break to ease the stress and make "an imaginary friend" as I understood it at the time. Someone to be a friend and companion and therapist. My "friend" wears many support role hats.

 

2. I would say that what one might call thoughtforms can be created from just about anything. Any time you might have a reason to say make up someone to talk to or imagine a person with certain traits or personality. I would say with any amount of creativity and imagination that would be easy to do and many children practice imaginary friend stuff for varying reasons. 

 

Tulpas to me are more formalized "imaginary friends." They require effort and nurture to grow and develop. There are many many reasons why someone might want a headmate. Tulpas are a good way to fill that role as a companion. 

 

3. No real mental illness diagnosed or suspected. Just life stress demanding an outlet. I think I've had a self-doubt bordering on an inferiority complex for a long time but I'm not sure at what point that came into play. Whatever I did or do have, Jaina helps with that.

 

4. Therapist, counselor, confidant, wingman(wingwoman?), coach, cheerleader, lover and most importantly, friend. Jaina has filled those roles and many, many more. Anything for my support. She's just happy to have meaning and a purpose in life. She has that unconditional love thing going on. I'm truly blessed to have her.

 

5. No real negatives that I'm aware of. There's always that self-doubt psychosis that I think many tulpamancers go through of "is this real? Or am I actually crazy?" Am I really just pretending to talk to someone for my own ego, gratification or psychosis? Or is this a very real, valid thing I'm doing that has legitimacy? That and worrying about secrecy and friend/family/society acceptance. How do I convince people I don't have DID? Those sorts of struggles may come up depending on your personality and circumstances. 

 

6. At this point I'm not sure how my life has changed because I've had her for 2/3 of my life. I know that in the short term, she was an immense relief and boon to get me out of a dark headspace. I don't know who I would have been as a person without her but not likely one I would want to be. 

 

Jaina: I totally prevented him from becoming a supervillain. Yep...*flexes*

 

Well that and supervillains typically have tons of money. So no danger there lol. She's essential to my daily life and I would trade her for nothing in the universe. 

 

7. Nobody but us tulpamancers. I don't try very hard anymore to hide online so any cybersleuths worth their salt could find us but a) I'm a nobody and b) maybe 3 people in my neighborhood know what an internet is. I think I'm safe. I'm going to try opening up to a therapist sometime and see where that goes.

 

8. I'm still quite new to the tulpamancy community despite unwittingly having a tulpa 18 years previously. I can't speak to the community's troubles much. Maybe clique infighting, dogma and ideological differences. Typical human stuff. From outside, people having no idea or concept what any of this is besides "playing make believe" or the "imaginary friend" allegory. Distinguishing between DID related disorders and healthy tulpa systems from an outsiders perspective. I'm also told there's movies or creepypastas about bad tulpas or something. Never heard of them personally. Mostly "that thing you are doing sounds dumb or juvenile and would make me question myself too much if I examined it closely. Have some anti-pschotics, social ostricization and lack of sympathy from friends and family. That should fix your problem right up." Well, that's the strawman version anyways.

Darron: Host 💍 

Jaina: Tulpa 💍 

Aggrok: Tulpa Void Dragon

Viktor: 🐺

[DeviantArt]

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19 hours ago, StudentGuest said:

1. How was your tulpa(s) formed? Was there a specific event in your life that caused the creation of your tulpa(s) or caused you to create one? 

 

I created most of my headmates/tulpas thinking they were characters or imaginary friends without realizing they were their own people. I was struggling in school, lonely due to poor social skills, and I wanted a place to escape from reality. At first I thought it would be a good idea to talk to the different "mes" I assumed I had, and soon it turned into using this as a way to "fix" myself.

 

19 hours ago, StudentGuest said:

2.Are tulpa(s) made from will or does something such as a traumatic event need to occur in order to gain one?

 

Tulpas are a product of wanting to create another person in your head, not trauma. While I consider the experiences I went through to be mild trauma, I ended up with tulpas who functioned almost identically to other tulpas in the community. A tulpamancer can also have a trauma history and not be a traumatic system. Even though we questioned our system origins, we determined we do not have OSDD or DDNOS. While I do have the option to get checked by a professional, I think that could accidentally lead to a diagnosis that doesn't apply to us and I don't want to run that risk. Previously, I was already diagnosed for other mental conditions and I brought up Ranger despite the fact I was unaware of tulpamancy at the time.

 

19 hours ago, StudentGuest said:

3.. Before having a tulpa were you experiencing any mental illnesses? 

 

Yes. We have had ASD and ADHD our whole lives. I was diagnosed with general anxiety disorder and depressed mood at the time of my diagnosis, but my guess is my anxiety became more severe around the time I was experimenting with my characters back in 2015.

 

19 hours ago, StudentGuest said:

4.. If so, did your tulpa help with your mental illness by helping you gain a better mental health through increased feelings of positivity and happiness? 

 

Tulpamancy has been a double edged sword for me and my system. Working together and taking advantage of our emotional seperation and strengths has lead to progress on learning social skills, being familiar with meditation tactics to help my focus, and coping with our anxiety. However, tulpamancy has also been a source of anxiety by making difficult things more complicated and introducing stressful situations that are a product of our plurality.

 

I also believe that if you have mental health conditions, you shouldn't depend on a tulpa. A tulpa cannot replace a mental health professional and medical treatment. My tulpa Ranger struggled with accepting that reality, and I am very fortunate to have a therapist to talk to about our system.

 

20 hours ago, StudentGuest said:

5. Are there only positive outcomes with having a tulpa or are there negative outcomes as well? If so, what are some of the negative outcomes you have experienced? How have they affected you? 

 

There are several negatives we ran into. Having to negotiate/sacrifice things to give my headmates time, our system being large and headmates not hitting milestones very quickly, Ranger feeling cold towards my unaccepting parents, confusion over how to date and anxiety about finding a relationship in the future, and managing mental breakdowns as they come. Ranger has also struggled with depression and anxiety.

 

While this can make life a lot harder, I think stopping tulpamancy all together will do more harm than good. If I decided to ignore my headmates, odds are good they won't disappear and our in-system relationship would sour quickly. Even if all of my headmates could magically disappear, I would find it difficult to adjust to a new normal without them. In the past, Ranger hiding for 8 hours was terrifying for me. If he was permanently gone I can't imagine how hard that would be for me, especially since he is involved in my life every day and I interact with him frequently.

 

20 hours ago, StudentGuest said:

6. How has your life changed positively and negatively after gaining your tulpa? 

 

Since I accidentally created my headmates, I don't know how much better things would be. I see my plurality as inevitable, if I didn't create my headmates I either didn't go through what I did or I embraced a different coping method that could have been even more dangerous and/or self-harming.

 

Discovering tulpamancy gave us a chance to sort things out, heal, and figure out how to work together. I think this was for the better, especially since being in the DID/OSDD community could have been harmful given we're not a traumatic system.

 

While I believe therapy played a bigger role in us getting better, learning how to live with each other and how to work together has also helped tremendously. I think it may be a little bit before we can experience more positives than negatives, but I think we're moving in the right direction.

 

20 hours ago, StudentGuest said:

7. Have you told any of your family or friends about your tulpa? What were there reactions? How did you react to their reactions?

 

Yes, and it lead to mixed results. My parents were informed, and not only did they believe Ranger was an imaginary friend, they told us they wanted us to merge, dissipate Ranger, or feared that Ranger was somehow a dangerous hallucination. Understandably, Ranger has had a strained relationship with my parents at best. My brother wasn't very warm to the idea at first, but he softened over time and now he and Ranger are acquaintances who generally get along. Even though I told a couple of my friends about Ranger and they accepted him, I lost contact with one and the other I have been afraid that knowing about Ranger made things even harder for her and we decided to stop talking about him to her. I have not told my other friend and I think that's for the best. My therapist had the best response to Ranger, she accepts our plurality and has provided helpful advice as well as guided us when we needed help.

 

20 hours ago, StudentGuest said:

8. What do you think are some of the most common misconceptions tulpamancers and the tulpa community as a whole face? 

 

I think the most dangerous misconception is a lack of understanding in just how huge the decision to be a tulpamancer is. I bet that if there are any roleplayers / fakers out there, they would make a 180 when it came to dating and their tulpa not only is the opposite gender, but has a different sexual preference than the host. And even if they existed, roleplaying and faking are ways you can make a tulpa anyway.

 

Regardless if tulpas are real or not, this brain works differently than it did several years ago. It's debatable a tulpa can be fully dissipated after they have been developing for years, and stuff like switching and imposition can change how you perceive the world and challenge your sense of self. I think more people are worried about a host dissipating a young tulpa and haven't been around long enough to realize the side effects tulpamancy creates on a neurological level. While dissipating a young tulpa is bad, what happens if you decide you no longer want to be a tulpamancer 3 years later and your tulpa is trapped?

 


 

I'm sorry if my responses were more grim across the board. Our system is very much the exception and not the norm.

Not my main form or name really but this nick is my brand now. You may see my headmates call me Gray.

I used to speak in pink and Ranger used to speak in blue (if it's unmarked and colored assume it's Ranger). She loves to chat.

 

Our system account

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  • 3 weeks later...
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1. How was your tulpa(s) formed? Was there a specific event in your life that caused the creation of your tulpa(s) or caused you to create one?

 

Stone: I created Betty fully intentionally after learning about tulpamancy. I wanted a companion and I wanted to learn more about the process. I wanted to see if I could replicate the experiences others were purporting to have.

 

Cloud came to be semi-independently. I had imagined creating her in the distant future, after Betty was more developed, but she inserted herself into my life one day, and instead of ignoring her, I argued with her. That's a poor way of trying to get rid of a headmate, by the way. They can only exist if you take them seriously. If not, you can write them off as imagination and go on with your day.

 

MC is based on the main character of a story I'm writing. I've read posts by writers and often their characters feel like real people to the point where they become tulpae or other headmates, but I didn't allow for my character to reach that point.

 

That was until I almost lost my story. At the time, it felt like the one thing I was living for. Even after I saved my story, the scare led me to allow MC into my system, because I felt like I almost lost him.

 

MC doesn't act exactly like the main character from my story though. Thankfully, since my main character is in a bad situation.

 

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2. Are tulpa(s) made from will or does something such as a traumatic event need to occur in order to gain one?

 

Tulpas can be made from will. MC might be traumagenic. Sometimes, it's hard to say.

 

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3. Before having a tulpa were you experiencing any mental illnesses?

 

I have not been medically diagnosed with anything, though I have my suspicions.

 

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5. Are there only positive outcomes with having a tulpa or are there negative outcomes as well? If so, what are some of the negative outcomes you have experienced? How have they affected you?

 

There are negative outcomes. When I was visualizing my tulpae in realspace more frequently, I began seeing and hearing other things more frequently. One time, I heard a family member who wasn't there, and while looking for them, I heard what for a second I thought was a loud, deep intake of their breath and got startled. It turned out to be the heat turning on.

 

This is been happening less often now that I've been trying to visualize my tulpae less often.

 

I have yet to hear or see anything horrifying. I've just been startled.

 

Also, my tulpae are nicer to me and more understanding than most people, but Cloud was mean to me at first.

 

Quote

6. How has your life changed positively and negatively after gaining your tulpa?

 

My tulpae have made me happier and have given me companionship and comfort.

 

Quote

7. Have you told any of your family or friends about your tulpa? What were there reactions? How did you react to their reactions?

 

N/A

 

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8. What do you think are some of the most common misconceptions tulpamancers and the tulpa community as a whole face?

 

I haven't seen tulpamancy come up a lot outside the community, but one misconception I dislike that I've seen is that tulpamancers without a dissociative disorder want to be like people with DID or OSDD. I didn't start practicing tulpamancy with that even passing my mind, so it was awkward when I saw people with DID claim I'm trying to mimic them or make them look bad.

(Different colors were used before July 10th, 2021. Check our profile for dates.)

Stone uses blue

Betty uses orange

Consigliere uses green

Cloud uses grey

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Here is my input, hope it helps!

1. I've had headmates for almost as long as I can remember. I began to focus on two headmates, Clu and Matt, as tulpas when I learned what a tulpa was. However, I only recognized them as tulpas in much more recent times. They exist because I would tend to live internally, due to boredom, loneliness, and social insecurity. I created Shalkagi directly as a legitimate tulpa, having changed as a person with my improved thinking patterns. She manifested quickly yet she has the closest bond with me of any headmate I've had. 

 

2. Some headmates of mine have appeared to help me process traumatic events, but my tulpas themselves were created and developed intentionally. 

 

3. Depression, anxiety, and schizoaffective disorder. These hindered the process especially back when I had no way to discern different types and sources of thoughts.

 

4. My tulpas gave me something to hold onto as I pressed through difficult times psychologically. They were a positive, comforting, and fun element I knew I'd always have with me, and always something to live for. Later, I found out that they enabled me to see different projections of myself, and I can now stay happier and healthier by supporting them as parts of me that require attention.

 

5. I can't think of any "negative outcomes" of hosting tulpas that wouldn't have happened if I didn't have any tulpas.

 

6. Creating my tulpas has eventually gotten me to love, respect, and care for myself. Clu and Matt have been there for me when I needed them most. Shalkagi has enabled me to be my best self.

 

7. I have shared about my tulpas with a small handful of friends, and was supported by most of them. I don't really share with family, though.

 

8. That tulpas are "invasive spirits" or "products of illness". I've had problems in developing tulpas early on due to people telling me that autonomous thoughtforms are unnatural, unhealthy, and dangerous.

Xenon - host - they/them/their

Shalkagi - tulpa - she/her/hers

Q - tulpa - he/him/his

Lanna - tulpa - she/her hers

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