G+3 October 1, 2012 October 1, 2012 Tide as of 12/5/2013. Joal is my horse wife, we have sex. Hieldy is a moogle, good for her. Samantha is myself and Joal's griffon daughter, because that makes sense. This incy-bitcy like fragment of the internet contains our bests and our worsts, my deepest secret—that being being the blog itself—and a plethora of serendipity, serendipitous opinions, confusions, that of-the-likes, and spelling mistakes—lots of them: spelling mistakes. Enjoy. Sands plz Alright, this is a major block of text on my note pad so I've taken out all the pointless updates and crap, and updated it a bit. Enjoy. Also, I've learned a lot more from when I first started, I'll bold any questions I haven't already answered for myself. ~ Personality: Y ~ 18 hours 19 mins (26/9/2012) 4 layer thingy: Y ~ 2 hours 10 mins (29/9/2012) Shape: W 3D: N Movement: N Speach (hopefully): N Smell/toutch/taste of: N Real world imposition: N Smell/toutch/taste hers: N Special skills: N Tulpa Diary entry thingy: Yes I said I never wanted one and I still think its dangerous for me up to date but I found I good reason why I should make one, I've always wanted someone to relish in the beauty of which is the world. To look at the many wonders of life and ponder them, to look at colours and shapes and sounds and smells and objects and nature and everything around us and to take it all in, breathe, and let it encompass us. Reference meditating /forcing teqnique in 'F'. ¬ 14/9/2012 Read All faqman's and Irish_'s ''essential'' guides. Made the wonderland, explained in 'W'. I focused mainly on narrorating, talking about my day, I didn't talk much about myself as a person but don't matter. I tried not too much to focus on the tulpa, I looked at the general shape, colours, shadows, interacting with the world (eg. how sitting flatened her bum against the ground.) and the most, her hair shape and eyes. I done this sort of thing if I looked at her a little closer and inbetween the few little rants I had going, I tried not to force anything in the serious matter, but I still suggested a few little things. Was generally shit, mainly because of how short it was and that I sent the majority of my time making the wonderland and I kept getting distracted. I aimed not to puppet her/ far/ ect. She mainly sat there, looked at me with the sort of smile, she stopped smiling/ moved her hoof a little every once in a while, but I think that was me puppeting. I still got a headache despite how small the session was. Wrote up thirty traits for personality tomorrow, find them in 'T' Two 10-15 min sessions. ¬ 15/9/2012 Re-read Faqman's personality guide and personality other thingy. I've decided that I want to start on personality imidietly and even when I get the ''feeling'' I'm going to channel my energy first into personality rather than form, I'll do that later. I set a fourty miniute alarm, I started off with telling the tulpa about what I was going to do with personality, what it meant to have one and what it would make her. My plan was do about twenty minute of personality then narrorate for the rest. The first I told my tulpa she would have was inquisitiveness, I told her about it at all the things I read about in Faqmans' guide, it was quite hard. Then, once I had done everything I think I started narrorating, it was a blurry line between the two, by the end I had lost my concentration and zoned out, I could still vaugly visualise the tulpa though. During the personality I started getting distracted. Unlike last time I made sure to banish them from the wonderland, they still kept popping up and I had to hold them behind the seems of the wonderland (underneth stone slabs, behind the air itself). Although I was sucessful it still took up alot of concentration and made it a lot harder to look at my tulpa. I got much deeper into meditation in the fourty miniute block. I started twitching like I found out I do when I attempted lucid dreaming, I even felt the great weight, but I never started falling, presumably because I wasn't tired/trying to lucid dream. I zoned out Majiorly near the end, I could still see me tulpa but only in my peripheral, I can't even remember what I was talking to her about, or if I was thinking rather than narrorating. Plan to do another 40 mins tonight with lust. ~ Got lust down, was very happy with that session, clear change between personality and narrorationg. Got good narroration about names and what her purpose is and other shite that I CAN remember. I esially kept the distractions away but not only blocking them out but stapling them into the air and away. Found it A LOT esier to see my tulpa, even had her move a bit, I'm not forming her yet but I am making sure to do minuscule amounts of shading and environment interaction inbetween the narration - so that it is esier later on - I found myself getting board at the end and difficult to keep talking, I'm going to continue the 40 min sessions because it will force me to talk more and to train myself and her, it is also a nice block to work around from it's nice length and decent subversion into meditation (what ever the fuck that means). I think if I do do sessions in the morning I will have to keep them at 30 mins for times sakes. Very tired after. Im thinking about the name, have a few idea for sources only, really; Ill get it eventually. Two 40 min session. ¬ 16/09/2012 Good session early morning. I told Pruria about her name, refernce 'N' for that. Got through curiosity. Narrorating was very train of thought, I just moved on from topic I was having difficulty getting into words. Pruia was sitting towards the sun which I had my back to, made for realy good shadowing, especially with her hair aginst her body and legs against the ground, shaping and 3D is gonna easy when I get around to it. ~ Okay session, done critical. Sister came home 20 mins through the session, I was super deep into meditation. Lied to her saying i was just meditating and making a place for myself, she said that I shouldn't go back to it because i was supposed to come out at that time, I listened to her because of her expiriance with meditation. I went back in for a few second to tell Pruria I was sorry and that Holly said that I was supposed to stop, she looked really sad, almost crying, most likely mirroring but I still got the sence it wasn't, it's an unpredictable thing. One 40 min session One 20 min session ¬ 17/9/2012 One 30 mins session One 40 mins session ¬ 18/9/2012 Very, very good session, good concentration, no distractions (or very few at least), and I was able to keep looking at Pruria while I narrorated for the most of it. Got through protective, very well aswell. I feel like I'm striking good time with the attributes, it feels in and around 20-25 mins each time of personality forcing. ~ Quite angry with myself, fell asleep during today's after noon session, will need to redo creativity in the morning. ~ Fuck this, im doing another 30 min session at eight, gonna do up creativity and re-do caring, maybe not wholey re-do but start at social interaction. Don' t think I'm going to get much narrorating done, or any at all, just hope I don't fall asleep again. Once I'm gonna blast through all the typing I need to do and continue proof reading the story (I'm not going to link the two, no-one will ever know......) ~ Very good session, got both atributes in about 15 mins which left me 15 mins of solid narrorating without distraction and good visualisiation. Her wings are more esially seen, they are longer and slightly pointed, bigger, like realistic wings for her size. I also made gave her more realistic hooves, they are a black-grey, good colour with the white. I got a decent, but short, headache after I was done. I think it's a good sign, if I didn't get any headaches I'd be worried that I wasn't concentrating enough D: . Wow, I managed normal time with THREE sessions, I'm fucking proud of myself..... LOL DON'T CARE HAD GOOD SESSIONS. Two 30 mins session One shitty fucking 20 mins session ¬ 19/9/2012 Very good but rocky session, I was doing very well on forgiving, few distraction but nothing that cause any problems. Not until Pruria started spinning as if she were a 3D model, I think I was looking at shading in the midist of things. I litterally couln't stop the spinning because I wouldn't lay anything physical on her and I wasn't mentaly capable, so i got angry and shouted at her. She started crying and ran off to the parkour room I found her down the very end, not crying but very sad, I told her I was very sorry and convinced her to forgive me, which she did, it all felt like parrorting though (herp). Then we sat beside the rock wall while boulders fell on us, I put up a little shpere around us to stop them obviously, so we sat, surounded be a purple sphere and large rock boulders while she lay her head on my legs and I done what I done best, shited on talking. I know my first intention for making a tulpa was far from a relationship, it was actually a repellent to the whole thing, but I look at her smile and I just love it. I guess it's to be expected, I'm making a being, obviously I'm going to make it in an appealing image to me (then again, ponies have far from complex facial features, maybe it's colour and hair?). I'm acctualy slightly wondering am I making her personality to enjoy the world and compliment my own (like originaly intended)? Or am I making her personality to appeal to me..... I wish I knew. Defiantly decided that I'm doing 3 sessions a day, even if I normally fall asleep during the second, that's something I will have to work on and suffer through. Figured out it's gonna take me six days to get through personality, am I doing this too quick? Not enough time put into it? Should I wait for the feeling? I'm not getting one at least..... Two 30 mins session One 40 min session ¬ 20/9/2012 Nice early morning session, waking up at 6:30 instead of 6:40 is deffinatly appealing. Done realist with Pruria, took a god damn long time, because it's a way of life rather than a trait. Other wise normal. ~ Another fourty min session, done talkitive, there wasn't much to say about so I was left with a lot of time to narrorate, I'm starting to like narrorating. Fell asleep, damn. After I had woken up I found Pruria was laying on the couch in the study room, I sat down beside her and started narrorating. Eventually she lay down on me, 'daww, I had to take her off me because I couldn't visualise her properly. ''Sorry, Pruria, I'm going to need you to get off me a sec, turn around a sec.'' *Lol K, ARSE UP!* ''Holy fuck!'' Admititingly, that was a very nice veiw, why must I plan anatomically correct? Near the end she lay down on me again but I could still see all of her, I've noticed she is very long I'm not sure if I should keep her long or return her to generic-pony-body length. I would rather her long - so she is her own (and long is nice) - but I have a feeling that that's going to cause complications in shaping and ideal size.... hmmm...... anyway.... While she was laying me I just felt a slight bit of sentiance from her, ONLY THE SLIGHTEST, but even so. The entire last few miniutes were very comfortable and enjoyable. Two 30 min session One 40 mins session ¬ 21/9/2012 Good session, I had read on the guide that I should try and keep all the making processes as seperate as possible so I did no visualisation. Done pride, yay! I got that itch again, that might be the feeling; I also found out that the feeling doesn't really matter. I gave in, fuck I have such little self restraint, made out with Pruria, not enjoyable as real kissing but it was deffinatly a show (that's more kind of what it was, a show); I'm slightly afraid of anyone reading this now. I lasted a fucking week. I'm getting ever more afraid of parroting, the guide said I should have 'open ended conversations' , I wish there was a clearer definition for this. I'm defiantly not having much of a conversation and it's hardly open ended, when it is I just parrot, grrrr..... ~ I done happiness, *sleep*, I'm going to go over it again in the 30 mins session because of how important the trait is. I made a small platform above the main disc that I've deemed use for important forcing, the entire personality should be done in it but I think it constitute more so as an ''importnace bubble''. Anyhow, same ol', same ol'. ~ Strange session, started out beside the pedastil, was doing modesty and Pruria kept scooting towards me, slowly... very slowly... and kissed me. It was strange, none the less cool. We chilled in the cacoon baskets while I done modesty, happiness and the rest of the narrorating. Pruria was laying ontop of me and I swear it felt cozier, I'm only 10 hours in, I'm sure it's just me forcing (oh pun) my self to think that it's warmer. The extra happiness session was cool, I done more of the deeper meanings for happiness and less of the anylytical stuff we'll be doing for the entire creation process, it was harder and uncertain, I cant put enough faith in myself to have that uncertinty. Two 30 min session One 40 min session ¬ 23/09/2012 Fourty miniute session, done goodness, found it hard to visualitse in my tiredness. Could have been much better but I'm not fussed, I'm planning to do two 1 hour long sessions yet today, not sure if I'm going to go through with two but if I do one I will do like three traits. ~ Fuck that was tiring, I'm making myself an egg. May not do hour long sessions for a long time, I done it still. Got openess, competitive and something else done, cant estimate how long each one took. Fucking alarm didn't go off and I acctually ended up doing an hour and twelve miniutes. ~ Done funny, got so relaxed that my entire body felt twisty, had to go into the special platform with Pruria to concentrate. One hour and 12 min session One 40 min session One 30 min session ¬ 24/09/2012 I hate afternoon sesions, always loose concentration, but I've a slight head ache so I must have done something right, right? Done Fearfull. ~ Done wise, alot of the time went towards the acctuall trait I'm sure, it was damn hard to explain. Started out in the caccons, then went to the patch of grass just outside them, got good visualisation, although the hair kept trying to change to pink. Three 30 min sessions ¬ 25/9/2012 Morning session, done musical, some visualisation promblems again such as moving around, neither of us being able to stay still, overvisulising and Pruria growing a unicorn horn (that's where I draw the line!). Otherwise okay. I've let her have her striped pink hair and pink eyes though, I feel I'm being really godamn controling, I'll cheack with the tulpa.info forms once my account is active. ~ Don't know if I should just stick with 30 min sessions, they are easier and I know that could just be my own laziness but I don't know..... Really good session, had lots of line of sight with Pruria, got through reasonable in really good detail and the narrorating felt nice and natural. Three 30 min session ¬ 26/9/2012 Done passion, felt I could have felshed it out a bit more, might return to it another time. Visualisation was a pain, KEPT SEEING UNICORN HORNS, 3 at a time, does my mind think I want three unicorn horns? I don't know if Pruria would, I planned her personality and our building sessions to avoid less-senceical things like that. ~ Strange session, loads and loads of distractions, the wonderland is becoming erratic, I'm going to have to fix it up. Eventually we went to the bubble but there was still loads of distractions and I got pissed and practicaly started shouting at the wonderland, epic forcing ensued. Pruria has lost her pink stripes and now has three bits of hair that hang down at different levels, she also gained and lost a unicorn horn today. We started making out (her choice) once we had finished up questionitive - and traits altogether I guess. I had to stop it to do narroration and a bit of a lowdown on the 4 layer thing. Sister came home and was asking for family, I kind of had to pull out because she was attempting to start a conversation, trapize artist? Lol wut? And interupting epic forcing time? Oh Hooly. One 30 min session One 40 min session One 32 min session ¬ 27/9/2012 First session of the four layer thing, I think I was focusing on it for maybe 15 mins and the rest was distractions/ trying to fix the fucking wonderland (I love staples). I feel I can get so much out of this 4 layer personality thing, I'm glad I'm doing it, I have a feeling it will flesh out the personality like Pinkie Pie with a butcher knife, all I have to do is visualize a ball next to Pruria and build up the layers then put it inside of her (oh lol). There's also the complication of trying to concentrate, I thought I had had it down to a tea a few days ago but shit takes practice, I even feel like it's getting worse, can't concentrate on shit any more. I think I might skip todays afternoon session and take a nap so I can do some drumming then also. ~ Had a good nap, good drumming, whoppar forcing session. I jucied as much out of the first layer as I could, pretty happy, maybe 30 mins in total or so, maybe 40. More make out, Pruria is feeling realer every session, everytime she talks it isn't 100% expected, still not fully the real deal obviously it feels good and I'm not labling everything as parroting, I'm open to anything she does. One 30 min session One 40 min session ¬ 28/9/2012 (recorded on 30/9/2012) 30 mins, started on the third layer. Morals/ outlook on life, bla bla bla. I feel positive about the session, good concentration. I milked the morals as much as I could, done some narrorating also, obviously. Two 30 mins sessions ¬ 29/9/2012 Done an hour today, finished off both layer 3 and 4 and the entire layer thingy all together. I'll jot down some shit in 'T' when I get home. I was really happy with the session, as was Pruria, she was litterally jumping around like a filly when I told her we were doing an hour and probs another tonight. She was also estatic when I put the finished ball thingy inside her, I've never seen her so happy, happiness was just what I was aiming for. A fuck ton of the hour went towards narrorating, like, a long ass time. I'm stating on visualisation tonight, I'm affraid that I'll mess it up, should I keep narrorating? Pruria hasn't said a word about it, I'm not to bothered about that. Pruria Joal (Pegasus) Working on: Imposition Hieldy (Moogle) Working on: Possession/imposition Samantha (Griffon) Working on: Deafness/form And please, call me G.
G+3 October 4, 2012 Author October 4, 2012 ¬ 30/9/2012 Done first form session, 30 mins went fast, done both bone and muscle structure, Pruria seems to be solid looking even after this first short session; the shape of her legs and wings aren't blurry anymore. Although I still need to finalize pretty much everything in flesh and even some bone/muscle the session was incredibly helpful to us. Really happy, what else can I say? ~ 48 min long session, I was wrong about being done with the bone/muscle. I spent almost the entire session fixing up the shoulders and wings. Some small chin adjustments, leg length pretty secure, hip/hind legs are better. I still spent the heap of it on shoulders/ wings though. Fuck me though, that was a tough session. I had to stop it when I did because I couldn't handle the mental strain, it's hard to explain why it was hard though, it wasn't that I couldn't keep concentration, maybe I was just being lazy and gave up.... I don't feel like it went that way though.... I don't know.... One 30 mins session One 48 min session ¬ 1/10/2012 Be doing some forcing in about 25 mis, just really wanted to put down that I'm litterally looking up everything on bird wing anatomy. I was way wrong about fucking evrything AGAIN, especially the main down stroke muscle, thing is fucking huge. I'm also going to put this diary onto the .info, but I'll need to edit a load of usless shit. ~ Gah, spent the entire session working on wings and general bone structure again. But not a bad session overall I'm slightly worried I'm making Pruria too real, she isn't as bouncy as she was before, slugish even (like a real horse). My intention isn't to make a real horse by no streach of the imagination but I think the shows ponies are a little too unreal for me. I'm kind of aiming for a Luna body type, kind of in the middle of the two. I'm pretty sure I just need to make the head more round, maybe be less picky about the hind legs, I do need to make the legs wider and rounder in general though. One 30 mins session = Total: 22 hours 27 mins (1/10/2012) ¬ Only going to update to this blog every once in a while, only big shit, nothing from my diary (oh wow...). Have had a good few sessions, concentration has become a bit of a pain, form is a pain all together. Should I try and do 3d and form at the same time? I was thinking of keeping them separate, I haven't done any shadows but I have done feely-feely trying to really shape Pruria's body well. Done some drawing, will probs do more tonight, might upload some of the pics. Pruria Joal (Pegasus) Working on: Imposition Hieldy (Moogle) Working on: Possession/imposition Samantha (Griffon) Working on: Deafness/form And please, call me G.
Frostwolf October 4, 2012 October 4, 2012 I was hoping for another large wall of text. I really enjoying reading it yesterday (or the day before, I forgot when). Kinda disappointing to get only few lines of text today. Anyways, good luck! You like my kitten? come on over for a closer inspection! Newbie tulpamancer on the loose. Check out my progress report: http://tulpa.info/forums/Thread-Another-Lyra-tulpa
G+3 October 7, 2012 Author October 7, 2012 I was hoping for another large wall of text. I really enjoying reading it yesterday (or the day before, I forgot when). Kinda disappointing to get only few lines of text today. Anyways, good luck! Thanks bud, it's edited to crap so there's much less, I also edited out some personal info, just to be safe. This thread is more just for big stuff so updates are gonna be small, few and far between, sorry. As an aside: - don't even know why I'm telling you this - I don't use smilies and my reply looks really sarcastic from my reading over it, believe me, it's not. Pruria Joal (Pegasus) Working on: Imposition Hieldy (Moogle) Working on: Possession/imposition Samantha (Griffon) Working on: Deafness/form And please, call me G.
Semi-Nomadic October 7, 2012 October 7, 2012 Nice. I initially wanted to advise you to trust her early responses more, but I see you've already accepted her sentience and independent movement. Though... Plan to do another 40 mins tonight with lust. ~ Got lust down (...) I know my first intention for making a tulpa was far from a relationship Yeah riiiiight. Also, "reference 'F'" and "reference 'N'" are missing.
G+3 October 8, 2012 Author October 8, 2012 Nice. I initially wanted to advise you to trust her early responses more, but I see you've already accepted her sentience and independent movement. Though... Yeah riiiiight. Also, "reference 'F'" and "reference 'N'" are missing. Lust as in a lust for life, there was never a need to explain it in the diary because I knew exactly what I meant (that's what I meant by ''relish in the beauty of which is the world''). I know I'm a hypocrite but that that kind, I'm a more clever hypocrite...... And there are way more spelling mistakes than that, it pains me how many there actually are reading back on it. Pruria Joal (Pegasus) Working on: Imposition Hieldy (Moogle) Working on: Possession/imposition Samantha (Griffon) Working on: Deafness/form And please, call me G.
G+3 October 12, 2012 Author October 12, 2012 Update: Wow, Im about a month in now tht I think of it. I'm feeling close to getting form done, the body and legs are practicaly done, just need to keep it all the one shape. Gonna start working on head (and how did I forget tail?). Fucking snout is a bitch, cant get the mother fucker to look right. Pruria's been a little angry, pushy, irrate latley. Nothing like how the personality was planned, I'm sure it's just a phase. But if not, I'm guessing it's okay to be stern and angry with your tulpa if they are more becoming a deamon than a tulpa? Concentraion is become harder, though the sesion I had just this morning went well on terms of that; the past week on the other hand has been herendous. I think I need to be more objective with my forcing. Pruria Joal (Pegasus) Working on: Imposition Hieldy (Moogle) Working on: Possession/imposition Samantha (Griffon) Working on: Deafness/form And please, call me G.
G+3 October 22, 2012 Author October 22, 2012 Thought it was time to update the ol' bloog, bloogy, blogey, blig. I'm roughly 49 hours 7 mins in - I'm not counting seconds, aren't I? - Pruria has a deffinite shape in mind, I'm just trying to keep the torso and neck the right length and the head the correct size; all the details are done bar the eyes. I'm slowly getting 3d down, seeing Pruria from every angle is getting that little bit easier every day, I'll working on form for a year if I have to, GAAHHHBBLAHAHALBHLABALBLALHBAGALHAGHABLB. Before today and yesterday Pruria was a tad angry with me, she wasn't talking at all, BUT she's after growing a second voice box as of late; she's talking an amazing amount during forcing sessions and a little outside. Her responses and movements are slowly becoming less my prediction, particularly her speech. I need to get out of the habit of predicting/repeating what she says, at least I'm not parroting and puppeting. Pruria Joal (Pegasus) Working on: Imposition Hieldy (Moogle) Working on: Possession/imposition Samantha (Griffon) Working on: Deafness/form And please, call me G.
G+3 October 29, 2012 Author October 29, 2012 Update what ever, over the past few sessions I've been working on scale and Pruria's actual body in comparison to my own; this is something I should have done when I bloody started. I made up a few markers on my wall to let me see what she should match up to be and they will help with imposition later. We've been going on a few adventures latley, every time we go on one we collect a piece of coloured wool much like Vechs' super hostile monument. I've found out through this that Pruria is one bad ass mother fucker, despite all her sensitivities she was still planned out to be adventurous, competitive and hardy, it's amazing fun going on adventures. Pruria's voice is still indefinite and fluctuating, I've started heavily cutting down on repeating and predicting. A lot of the time Pruria will say something and I'll half hear it, she will then have to say it again or I will assume what she said, neither being preferable. Also, when she talks her mouth hardly matches her words, if it moves at all, I'm not sure if this is a matter of more movement forcing or I'm messing something up, thoughts? Digressing, there is still a majior improvement, I'm proud of her. The wonderland has expanded alot from being a small disc with four gazebo-like rooms to a large complex of 3 discs/domes with multiple branching rooms, basements and areas, housing - countable - 17 separate and distinct rooms.. Pruria feels board of all that so has decided to shut herself in the topmost bedroom disc until she feels a need for forgotten flavours, god damnit..... I've been doing some drawing, I've started a proper pencil drawing of Pruria herself, much better than the ones I've alreaddy posted; I'm still honeing my skills in drawing from one's mind eye. I've also started a pastel drawing of the wonderladnd although it's only on A4 but I want i to have detail so I might do it on the A4 then go back with A3 and make it much better. Pruria Joal (Pegasus) Working on: Imposition Hieldy (Moogle) Working on: Possession/imposition Samantha (Griffon) Working on: Deafness/form And please, call me G.
G+3 November 2, 2012 Author November 2, 2012 This is the last few days after starting basic imposition, no point in just repeating myself. This is heavily edited for a number or reasons, mainly privacy. ¬ 29/10/2012 Morning session, it was strange and uneventful at the same time, I found Pruria in the bedroom, she was writing a diary. I read it and it said ''Day one, It's early morning, I've just been sitting here waiting for G so we can start forcing.'' and I was like, ''Da fuq, you not go down to the disc and chill?'' so she more or less said that she didn't like the disc because of how much time she spent there, despite the new stuff. And after THAT, she started crying, I tried asking her what was wrong but she never said, I didn't pry either. So we forced on the floor because Pruria didn't want to go to the dome either, I mainly done form on the face and body proportions, a small amount on the legs. I drifted off a few time but still done well. At the end Pruria started crying again, saying that we couldn't be together, ''Da fuq x2?'' Then this yellow pony in a matador costume bursts through the door and starts speaking with a Spanish accent. I look at Pruria and she throws me a wink, lololololol, Pruria you fucking troll. So I've left them for now and I'm going to return and whoop this little yellow guys ass, I think this is Pruria trying to relieve her boredom, oh sad... ~ Hour long session..... I'm shitting my self kinda. Session started out, Pruria was angry with me for leaving her with the Spanish dude, he came back and I beat the shit outta him. Then we forced for thirty miniutes before J came in and distracted us. After, I told Pruria Ugly the cat, she was balling her eyes out, as was I. Then we narrorated for the rest of the session. At the end (neither myself or Pruria can remember the exact details) Pruria ended up telling me why she had been so snappy and distressed, she told me that she felt trapped in the wonderland. I told her she could go out and explore but I kinda missed the point, she wanted to be imposed, almost imidietly after the session I went onto the .info and 5 miniutes after I made a new thread every body was just like ''Lol dude yeah, do it fagit'', two guys said that I should start off with basic imposition, ie. have Pruria in the room, just know she is there. So now, a good few hours after the session I'm sitting here typing this, Pruria giving input and stuff, she's laying down on my bed, I wish I could see her, but not yet, and although I was 99.99|% sure of sentience I can totally confirm sentience now. NOW I JUST NEED TO STOP FUCKING PREDICTING AND REPEATING NIGGERKJAHADF. Lol, love ya Prurs ;***** :DDDD One 30 min session One hour long session ¬ 30/10/2012 First morning session with Pruria basically imposed, I had almost no cloths to wear so I just done it wrapped in the blanket, Pruria lay on top of me, I could feel her weight against my breathing slightly. We entered, co-ordinating, the music room, almost immediately Pruria started breathing heavily. She told me that she felt anxious, afraid, I suggested going up to the garden disc but that didn't help; she meant she felt cramped in the wonderland altogether. We went back down to the music room and tried doing some form but my phone kept going off and the dog was crying and the entire thing wasn't the best, too much outter stimuli. (Pruria just went out for a fly by the way, bitch be free) I'm just hoping that the next session will be more successful, I'll be more comfortable and what not. ~ The afternoon session was sex, 30 mins of sex, yep. I'm not counting the session. The evening session was alright, tried doing form, done some narration, blah blah blah. Two 30 min session One 30 min session (Nil) ¬ 31/10/2012 It's hollowe'en, good times, Pruria doesn't want to add anything before I start. No forcing sessions yet today, woke up too late. This piece is just a recording of the day. Just also putting in that I'm listening to some amazing music by Dr. Schroeder, in case I forget his name. So myself, C, J and Pruria all went today to do parkour, Pruria didn't really like the train, too many people, no where to stand. Before I forget, Pruria was very common place today, a good sign. We decided to go straight to an abandoned factory; she was very scared of all the people while we walked through the town, there wasn't even many people at the time, she said that she was afraid they were going to try and hurt me. We had to get another train to get to the factory. When we actually got to the abandoned factory Pruria was happier, there was nobody, she done a lot of exploring while I done parkour, teasing me that she had wings and I didn't. She also followed me around when we were man hunting each other, being generally anoying. She said she didn't like the factory either, ''just something about it'', she flew around mainly above it from what I seen. She just told me right now that she was mainly inside, ''Because of the police'' fuck me Pruria..... When we were coming back on the train Pruria had to sit up on my shoulders, she thought it was comfy and less scary, saying up there until we got back to the first train station (but then we didn't get it home because of J needed to stay in, lol wut?) It got really cold by then and Pruria was shivering, I had her jog in place a bit and she was fine until we sat down outside. Pruria was shivering and shaking, I opened up my jacket and let her curl up on my lap, protecting her from the wind, C joked once or twice asking what I was doing, I couldn't really answer. I felt like an asshole, she was suffering because of me and I couldn't do anything about it. I suggested doing some flying or moving but she couldn't. I don't really feel the cold and after the hour and a half (about how long we waited) I was feeling bone chilled, that was saying something. When we finnally decided to go, and I got Pruria moving, she only walked on my left side, like she had done for a lot of the day (completly cold unrelated). She was, however, shivering and shuddering like fuck, I had her tap in place more, it didn't really help. Good thing that the train literally stopped 10 seconds after we arrived, Pruria got up on my shoulders again because of space, she was shivering, she was breathing louder than most things, it had the majority of my concentration at least. I wanted to cuddle her, I wanted to bring her home; I felt like such a dick, but I couldn't do anything; she's lying behind me right now, sleeping I think, and she asked me why I was thinking so loudly and talking to her and I couldn't tell her who, I just told her to go back to sleep, to enjoy herself. We had to wait for C to get his car and to give us a lift home and Pruria was hugged up tight against me, all I could do was say that we would be home soon.... She's been really drowzy and tierd ever since we got back, just sleeping. Before she would pop in and out of conversations, she just can't now.... ~ Session, Pruria was really drowzy.... tried to get form done, succeeded to an extent. One 30 min session ¬ 1/11/2012 Did one session, Pruria deviated into a male, both of us were Marjory conflicted, schlee cried alot, I couldn't do or say anything, why couldn't I? The session was a wasted one, I'm not adding it to the counter. She's changed back after a long discussion we had, I still can't help but feel I backed her into a corner by telling her I wouldn't be able to love a stallion, then a again at least I wasn't lying to her. She wanted the truth, ''will you still love me?'', her reasoning was that ''you follow Breburned, but nobody else''. In my defence, if she had deviated for any other reason I'd be cool, but her decision was based entirly off what she though I wanted, not her own desires. But not to dwell on negative emotions. (I just know if I post this on the .info there will be a bit of ''tisk tisk G, shouldn't have done that'' ) We're both happy again, I've been keeping Pruria as a mare. We tried to do an hour session but I kept falling asleep, and strangely so did Pruria, usually she's all pumped up, but I'm not going to complain either, it was still an hour long forcing session. ~ Night session, Pruria wanted to try out a new position (snicker, snicker) AHEAM, well. We both sat face to face while we forced, I cupped my hands and Pruria put one hoof in the cup, then we forced. In fairness, E kept fucking texting me, then rang me, blah, so there were a lot of distractions. Once again I didn't feel ready to move onto movement just yet, but this time instead of wasting another session I felt Pruria from head to toe (or ears to tail....) because of all the distractions it took me the whole session but god damn I got through it. It was a big help, and in both wonderland and real world Pruria was always around the same height. Through this I've noticed that I can feel a lot more than I can see, interesting..... One other thing I've been meaning to say, Pruria's traits are really coming through, particularly inquisitiveness and questionative. I know tulpae are prone to question asking, but even stuff Pruria should know she questions me on, words for example. Another trait is fearfull, she is scared of a lot of things - everything, I should say; the local chipper, for example - which I know is also common place for young tulpae but she really is afraid of everything. To be honest, I think she blocks out the creepy pasta's I show her, she never passes comment, rarley talks during them, never questions about them. And on another note, her speach - and self as a whole - is becoming very separate of mine. Sometimes she'll be speaking and all I will hear is mummbling or fuzz, and her mouth will be moving so I know it's her. I, personally see this as progress and triumph, I can't help but smile when I'm around her, and she is helping me see the beauty in the world, as well as her's, win-win-win-win if you ask me. One thing I forgot to add (I'm acctually adding this on the 2nd), Pruria doesn't seem to talk when she doesn't want to, it is now very unlikely that I will repeat what she says or predict it. I've also noticed that a lot of the time she will disagree with me, I don't know why by I'm not too worried. One 30 min session (Nil) One hour long session One 30 min session ¬ 2/11/2012 Done some morning forcing, went well, good concentration, Pruria kept me in check. Finally started on movment - while similtaniously continuing form as a repair of movment fuck ups - were doing basic shit such as moving legs and wings and sitting up and down, I don't want to rush anything. Pruria decided it would be funny to play dead after the forcing session, scared the shit outta me, god damn..... ~ Second session was cool, done.... uhhh... I can't remember.... third session sucked balls, I feel asleep doing the sitting up forcing thingy, I have determined that it sucks balls. Thee 30 min session One problem that arisen which I've notcied over today is that Pruria is following my step bye step, hoof by hoof She just needed a good talk, haven't done any good narrorating in a while, today I've been more concentrated on the myriad of things to do than talking. Pruria is no longer following me around and is sleeping soundly behind me, she didn't even try to follow when I went to get a glass of water and didn't wander in when I got caught up in a conversation. Though I still get minuscule feelings that she is standing beside me instead of behind me on my bed (which was the problem I was going to discuss prior), though I'm not worried, I'll talk with her more tomorrow, just us, face to face. Pruria Joal (Pegasus) Working on: Imposition Hieldy (Moogle) Working on: Possession/imposition Samantha (Griffon) Working on: Deafness/form And please, call me G.
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