Avalanche's mindhouse

[Sands]

Except are you? Can you say for sure? If you're wrong, what if you're just silencing your tuppers like so many did before you because they felt it wasn't ~~alien~~ enough? Would your tuppers be fine with not being able to communicate with you for months?

 

If they are as uncreative and unsurprising as you think, you think they will suddenly become creative and surprising just because you hear their voice differently? That's more like a thing with their personality or abilities, not how you hear them.

[Avalanche]

Let me put it this way. How do you hear Roswell, in comparison to your own mindvoice?

 

When you talk to him, does it always feel like you are steering the conversation, and it's almost like it's scripted?

 

That's how it is for me right now. Very little difference between their voices and my own mindvoice and it feels like they are saying exactly what I think they would say.

[Sands]

When it comes to the tone, it's not like it's some woah that's so totally completely different in every way kind of mindvoice. But his is just so heavy that it's difficult to ignore, while my own just feel so light compared to his. That and I got the quiet hallucinations going on now when there's not too much noise drowning it, but it wasn't always that way. It slowly built up to this and I can only see it getting better with time.

 

You know that we're pretty different with Roswell. Our opinions sometimes are like night and day. We've disagreed a lot and had conversations go in directions I never thought they would. Weird statements out of nowhere just because. So to that question I could say that it feels like it's out of my hand. But again, we are very different. I still know him well enough that I could guess what he wants just like I could guess some other person's reply, of course it won't always be correct but sometimes I might come close - and in his case when we're this close, I probably can guess it right more often than anyone else's reply, at least when it comes to the basic idea. That and sometimes intentions can and do bleed over and I have had those conversations with Roswell that had no words, just pure emotion and intentions and complete understanding. Something I could never have with another person.

 

Could it all just be you parroting? Eh, all I got could just be parroting for all I know. But we're very differen't with Roswell in almost every way, while you and your tuppers seem like you got much more in common. I could see you sharing a lot of similarities which might then feel to you like it's all you, because that's how you thought about it, too. And they still could just be pleasing you and talking about exactly what you want to, because they probably know.

 

Have you ever asked them about this? Would they be alright with not being able to talk to you while you try to sort things out? All we got for this is their word. And I've chosen to believe others when they say they can think for themselves, even if I can't prove it. What about you? You know there's been a lot of those early tuppers who are angry at their hosts because they refused to listen, you wouldn't want to make their lives miserable against their will just because it's not what you thought what it would be, yeah?

[Avalanche]

I can guarantee that if I asked them what they thought I wouldn't get an answer, because I can't think of one. If I did get an answer it would probably be "go do what you want".

 

Everything they have said felt really hollow and just like what it would sound like if it were me talking to myself.

I thought with time it would become more natural and disconnected and fluid but really it's like I've been doing all the talking and I've just shut them out at an early stage- like they began talking and I took it from there and left them behind.

 

That's probably more dramatic than what it really is but when it comes down to it it's essentially that. It's just me. Even with when I go to the wonderland to visit, they are always doing the exact same shit each time or whatever. I go in and the first place I think of looking or appearing they are there, doing whatever for no real reason. Like my mind just set it all up to fool me. And I went along with it for a while, either half believing or half hoping it would grow independent but that hasn't happened.

 

I'm going back to basics and focusing on the voice. I'm not stopping until I shit bricks with a sudden headvoice or what have you. It happened once when I was half asleep, I heard a voice that totally wasn't mine. Probably due to the effects of being halfway to sleep but it was in a voice that made sense, said something that made sense and it was in no way prompted or controlled by me. I want that again.

 

I mention it in one of my posts here.

[Sands]

I guess you should start asking more questions you don't know the answer to, then. Allowing to them say whatever they want, really. And tell them they should be doing things on their own as well, because they can. Are they able to do things when you're not looking at them?

 

You just said it's them speaking you're unsure about but now you think you also puppet them or what? As for sounds while falling asleep, it's pretty common.

[Avalanche]

I've tried asking those sorts of questions. I get half assed "ummm" and "ahh" answers until I automatically think up an answer myself and they just copy it.

 

Well it's not them copying it, it's me relaying it back through them, or what looks like them.

 

I don't know if they can do things without me watching. I can't ask them for obvious reasons, and they never really have.

I don't think I puppet them, I try not to anyway. I just think that if I leave them to do what they want, they don't do anything, so I think of something they could be doing and BAM, they start doing it. I don't think up something for them to do, it's just if I wonder about it even the littlest bit, they do it.

 

I know about hallucinations being a million times more common as you drift in and out of sleep, and I've had those before. It's just usually they are random, meaningless or not understandable. I've had hypnagogia before, but nothing like this, and nothing this memorable.

 

In this instance it was clear as fuck, made sense, fit into the situation and even sounded like her at the time. Plus it was unrelated to anything I was doing or dreaming of at the time. I was just in the middle of forcing and was drifting in and out of focus. I was drifting away for the 20th time when I hear "Oh just get on with it" in my head.

 

I really doubt that was just random hypnagogia. I hope it wasn't. If it was then it was a hell of a longshot for it to be like that.

[Sands]

I guess you gotta keep asking without thinking up anything. Keep asking for their opinions and what they think, not giving up before they say something. It's possible that an idea would pop in your head before they say it, but you'd think once they get better at it, they'll start doing more speaking to you instead of just throwing thoughts, if the thought was them.

 

Hey, hypnagogia can make sense. But some do use that state to have an easier time talking with their tupper and getting results. Is that just hypnagogia too? Who knows. Was your voice just that? Who knows.

 

So how about you try that talking thing more? Don't just accept them saying something like whatever you want. Sure, it's an answer, maybe they want you to do what you want, but I'm sure they could give their own opinions that aren't that as well. So keep bugging them until they give you that actual answer. Challenge them and yourself. You don't think you do puppeting, so there must be a tupper in there, yeah? This tupper should be able to have their own ideas, so if they've never bothered having those own ideas, you better force them to so you can see if they can.

[Avalanche]

It's come to that before, where I keep asking and keep trying to drag out an actual answer. I just end up feeling like I need to come up with a good response myself, and I never get anything back from them.

And example would go like this:

 

"What have you been up to today?"

"Oh you know, just chillin'"

"Nothing special?"

"Not really, just waiting until you could come back to talk or whatever"

 

Now depending on where we were at that moment (usually in the wonder-kitchen)

"Nothing special?"

"I was cooking a while ago" or "I just got up" or "I was watching you do stuff today".

 

All those replies being really general and the cooking one in particular is a favourite. I get that they might like cooking, but I never see them do it, it's always the same thing they make and it seems to take up their entire day.

 

:/

[Sands]

I guess they might be bored anyways. What if they do drag shit on and on or don't really do anything because there is nothing for them to do? I guess I'd suggest more hobbies and them showing shit to you and all. Maybe you should see if you can do more shit together with them in real life too, maybe more of them chatting to others if you'd like. I always found that nice back when Roswell was derp, he'd get questions I would never ask him so the answers too were something I hadn't hear before.

 

Have you asked them how they are feeling about this whole thing? Enough to actually get an answer?

[Avalanche]

No, I just decided I'd had enough and just went with it. I've had an easy time "ignoring" anything they would say, as I'd just skip over any thoughts of what I think they might say. Needless to say, they haven't said anything that overwrote what I was thinking.

 

If they could speak and think independently of me, then surely I wouldn't be able to block them out? What if they are too weak or quiet for me to hear them? Then that can be fixed by doing what I'm doing now- listening to them instead of parroting and having that as "their" responses.

 

If I did ask them what they thought, as I said, I would get a bullshit half answer that's as ambiguous as what I think they would say.