Avalanche's mindhouse

[Sands]

Then you keep asking until they give you an actual answer or you ask them why they can't answer, hurr. If your answer right now is "it's all me", then their answer should be that too, yeah? What if it's different or even those umm and ahhs? You'd know the answer and it's probably the answer they would give you if that's how it goes to you, so what would it mean if they can't answer?

 

It is pretty easy to block answers if you want to, but then I just get non-word responses getting my attention.

[Avalanche]

If I keep asking all I'll get it nothing. Believe me I've tried asking and asking and eventually they actually just break and don't reply at all. Like machines with a loop error.

 

If I ask them a question only they would know the answer to all I get it what I think the answer would be.

 

Even if any of this is legit, it still doesn't feel right at all. It feels just like me talking with me. Nothing feel alien in the slightest. I thought that was the whole purpose of tuppers- to be a voice disconnected from your own, to be different.

 

They aren't very different. Just me through a different filter controlled by me.

[Sands]

So did you ask them if it's you who is making them do all this and they said yes? They should be saying that, yeah? Because that's your answer.

 

Also if your tuppers aren't very different from you, then of course they're not really different. Different voice might help, but if you're still just hearing your own answers because they just plain are so similar then that'll be a problem again. There's so many tupper and host pairs I can't even tell apart if they don't somehow make it obvious which one is talking because it's like they are the same person. Are they? Fuck if I know.

 

Why I want you to get thei confirmation for this is so they can say if they're fine with it. If they're not, then what you're doing is kind of an asshole-ish thing to do, just ignoring them because they can't do what they should. If all three of you are fine with this, then it's okay, yeah?

[Lacquer]

You know that we're pretty different with Roswell.

 

>we're

>with

[Avalanche]

I would ask them, but I wouldn't get an answer. If I don't think they can answer me so I want to try this, then what good will asking them do? If I accept that they can answer me with an actual answer then that defeats the purpose. All I would get back would be a no, so I wouldn't, or a yes, which is a paradox, because they can't tell me if they think I can't hear them...

 

I'm doing this anyway. It's not like it's going to kill them and my motives are in the right place. It's for the betterment of the relationship. I can't go on like how it was. For the sake of not being overdramatic, I'll just say it didn't feel right so I'm not going to continue down that path.

 

Even if I somehow fail in this (by either giving up or it just not working by the time I have deafened myself) then it'll just go back to how it was; be that how it should have been all along and I was wrong, or back to nothingness.

 

I have to try this. If I stick around with what it is now, then I've just admitted I can't hear my tulpas, or I don't trust that this is them speaking.

 

It just doesn't feel like it's not me.

[Sands]

I would ask Roswell, but I wouldn't get an answer.

 

uh

 

Well you can just ask if you haven't, it would be interesting to hear the answer at least and it's not like you're missing anything. Just that it might very well take months and months to get auditory hallucinations the way you want and there's a lot of practice there, so you might start thinking it's you again because you practiced doing this. It might be a long time for them to not be able to talk to you if they actually are despite you not thinking so, so I guess you all should understand that.

[Lacquer]

Also, Avalanche, what if you made a brand new tulpa using these new/different methods you are planning to use on your current tulpa? This new tulpa could help, maybe. I don't know, but it's a thought.

[Sands]

Because the answer to everything is a new tupper you might or might not be able to give enough attention to because there already are existing ones, huh. inb4 statis, statis everywhere

[Lacquer]

Gah, I don't know. I'm concerned and want to help, but don't know how. I'll just go.

[Avalanche]

Them*

 

Lol massive brainderp.

 

It wouldn't be an interesting answer because I can already feel what their answer would be, and it feels like every other answer they have given me for anything.

 

If I get this right it wouldn't even have anything to do with me. It's like building a circuit with a lightbulb and a potato. If you build it right the light will shine, regardless of whether you watch it or whatever. If I get this right they will talk on their own, and it won't be me.

Again, if I'm right then this is a good step for all of us. They'll be taking positive steps with me to get to speak with me properly. If I'm wrong, then it's some time out I guess. They might even be spurred on to try to enforce their thoughts harder. It's not like I'll be totally unreachable. If they are in control of these thoughts that feel very much like my own, then I should notice a difference, no?

 

@Lacquer, that's not a bad idea, but I don't want a 3rd tulpa. I especially don't want to focus on just it for what could be a while, even if it's for the benefit of all three. Plus I would have to spend time forcing up a form or a general persona and all that, it would just be adding on hours.