G|d30n and Lauren

[FigN01]

I see what you mean about the emotional response being a trip for you. It's so weird to get fuzziness coming out of nowhere, but it's really reassuring as far as progress goes.

 

In terms of her body, do you think it would help you to reference an anatomical drawing to visualize all of the muscles as well? Since you're going into that kind of detail with bones, having a reference might speed up the process. Personally, since I'm dealing with an entirely fictional body, I'm going to do a bit of 'massage therapy' in the wonderland where I'll physically touch and handle all of the body parts to work out proportions, bones, and muscle placement. Perhaps that could help you too.

[G|d30n]

 

How tall is that relative to you?

 

That's a good question and one I probably should have mentioned in the original post because I think it does play a role in interpreting why it happened. She's now only about two inches shorter than I am, whereas she was about eight inches shorter before. I've told her many times in narrating through personality work and through this that we're going to be equals. This might be her way of representing that physically.

 

I see what you mean about the emotional response being a trip for you. It's so weird to get fuzziness coming out of nowhere, but it's really reassuring as far as progress goes.

 

In terms of her body, do you think it would help you to reference an anatomical drawing to visualize all of the muscles as well? Since you're going into that kind of detail with bones, having a reference might speed up the process. Personally, since I'm dealing with an entirely fictional body, I'm going to do a bit of 'massage therapy' in the wonderland where I'll physically touch and handle all of the body parts to work out proportions, bones, and muscle placement. Perhaps that could help you too.

 

That's a good idea and one that I'd considered coming out of the last session when I saw the benefit of adding bones. I hadn't expected to require that sort of detail but it was something that just came to me as a fix for the sliding proportion problem and having just done another session, so far it's stuck. I'll probably study some anatomy charts today and when I do my last session for the day later tonight I'll force in the muscle anatomy and then probably tomorrow I'll start with a similar method with feeling and moving her with my hands to kind of study the motions and stuff. That might even help as a precursor to the "Touch" step, hopefully.

 

My goal--and this could change depending on progress of course--is to be finished with her nude form and anatomy within the four hours I plan to spend between the last session today and the three tomorrow. By then hopefully everything will be formed and working and I can start styling her a bit. Based on her personality, I'm sure she'll enjoy that step a lot.

[G|d30n]

So, I haven't started my actual forcing for today, but I thought maybe it's worth giving a little update on what I did last night. After I finished my three sessions of actual forcing, getting a very consistent and vivid overall form, I called it a day, but then found myself up at 4am with nothing to do, so I went a little further. I wanted to leave the continued visualization forcing for today but decided to do a little personality review again. Having completed her form, I forced an outfit for her, sat her down in the beach hut, and started narrating about her personality again. I found there were a couple traits I felt compelled to change or reword, and a couple that no longer felt like they fit. "Social" for example became "friendly" and "outgoing" became "adventurous." Much of the conceptualizing that I had done in the write-up still applied, but these reworded traits made the definitions a little more narrow. It felt more personal that way.

 

Anyway, I did that for what I'd estimate somewhere between twenty minutes and an hour and then spent the rest of the hour just narrating. I had narrated about forcing and personality work before, but this was one of my first times just rambling to her for so long. I felt it rather easy to do, first just talking a little about why I'd picked the clothes for her that I'd given her toward the beginning of the session. I happened to mention that some of it was "in" when I was in high school, and that led me to get a little nostalgic and ramble on about high school days from years ago, how things had changed in the five years since I graduated, hopes I have for the future, things I'd like us to do together, random things about my home town, pretty much just whatever came into my head. It felt good though, for an awkward stream of consciousness rant. I spoke out loud also even as I spoke directly to her in the Wonderland.

 

She had felt real to me since just a few hours into personality work, and even more so after the vivid emotional responses yesterday, but there was a lot of responsiveness as I just sat there and rambled. She didn't respond vocally, or with body language, but I did feel that she was listening, and when I finished that session and bid her goodnight, the presence I'd been feeling after yesterday's sessions felt even stronger.

[G|d30n]

Having had that unexpected emotional experience last night, I decided to devote just one hour to forcing various outfits for her, rather than spending a full three as previously planned. I'll still do plenty more of that, but I wanted to shift my focus to nurturing her emotional development now that it seems to really be sparking, and so I decided to build her a house. I wanted to keep the beach hut where it was, and I cleared a spot to build a foundation not far from it and build a simple but comfortable house with all of the amenities--television, books, bedroom, kitchen--and built a currently empty room that will be reserved for the library I'll put there when I give her access to my subconscious. I narrated to her throughout the process and forced some things (clothes, etc.) and got them put away and set up for her. Then I just kind of hung out with her and rambled on for a bit again, then eventually got a headache from all that forcing, and decided to take a break. Once I recover from this headache, later on I'll probably do some more visualization work with her, but this was a fun little distraction and I feel good about having done it.

[G|d30n]

So, tomorrow I'm moving on to touch, as I'm done with visualization after roughly 15 hours. I wanted to share a little breakthrough I had today. In short, Lauren is starting to show signs of developing sentience (36 hours into forcing--recorded for prosperity). She's not vocal yet, but she's expressing herself with body language and even manipulating the environment in the Wonderland, including decorating her room and putting flowers in a vase on the coffee table in her house. Most notably and definitively, I'm no longer able to puppet her, even with visualized puppet strings or any other previously utilized method.

 

I have some ideas for why she's developing quicker than I'd expected and so, yes--this is going to be another one of those posts.

 

The Role of Extended Personality Work

 

As I detailed in my first post in this progress report, my personality process was intensive. It involved some really complex conceptualization and over 20 hours of forcing both broad and personal, specific concepts. I tried to interlink everything in some way so that it all gelled as an organic personality--not just a set of traits. What I found as I moved on from the personality step was, when I would do review at times during visualization, not only were aspects of Lauren's personality deviating, but with each deviated trait, the interlinking web of her personality was evolving as well.

 

For example, I originally forced the rather broad trait of being "outgoing," envisioning Lauren as the kind of girl who would enjoy spending time outside, being exposed to people and who would just generally enjoy getting out into the world. During visualization, I would review her personality traits via a sort of Vulcan mind meld visualization technique, basically touching our heads together and seeing a visual representation of her personality traits. Anyways, somewhere along the way I found that "outgoing" had narrowed down to "adventurous," and no longer linked to her friendliness, but instead linked to her curiosity and confidence, while remaining linked to her optimism.

 

Basically, giving her the idea of interlinking traits seemed to teach her how certain aspects of herself could cause various attitudes to form, and she seemed to use this understanding to find something that made more sense for her.

 

Oh, another thing to take away from this, for people who debate about leaving personality broad or specific: the write-up of my tulpa's personality was 65 pages long and she still deviated. Apparently, they just know what they're doing, no matter what approach we use. We should all take comfort in knowing that, if Irish can do almost no personality work and I can do potentially too much, and neither seems to stunt their growth or evolution, there must not be any way to screw it up, really.

 

Early Narration

 

As I mentioned before, I started narrating during personality work, and kept it going through visualization. I feel like this helped her emotional development because some of the biggest early emotional responses I got from her seemed to result from these narrations.

 

My biggest tip so far for those who are having trouble getting significant emotional responses is that you yourself should get emotional. In narrating to her, I've shared laughs, gotten deeply nostalgic, and worked myself into states of deep emotion. Remember how Irish's guide talked about giving your tulpa energy and attention? Well, the forcer's emotions seem to really get things flowing. Also, opening up to her made her feel very real to me early on, and I think that plays a very significant subconscious role as well.

 

The Role of Anatomy

 

As I detailed earlier in this thread, I saw some benefits from forcing anatomy, in terms of keeping her form consistent and making her appear more alive. There was also an apparent jumpstart for her mental development by way of forcing a brain--something Avalanche also experienced with his tulpa. You can learn more about the subject of tulpa anatomy forcing in this thread.

 

The Role of Audio

 

I used a music playlist during personality work, with the theory that I could familiarize Lauren with certain songs and evoke some kind of emotional response from her by playing them outside of forcing. This did prove true from my experience and she does seem to identify with a few songs in that playlist, which I got to see confirmed today with some visual displays of emotion. I don't want to get sappy but, when you see your tulpa smile on its own for the first time, it's a pretty profound and powerful thing.

 

Though I was a bit of a skeptic early on about binaurals, I did use Fede's tones during visualization work. I can't speak to what affect they had on their own since I started using them so late, but I do get a nice feeling in my head after forcing now that I've been using them, and when I play music alongside them, I do feel a strong emotional connection. Anyway, Fede might appreciate the plug for his work, and I do recommend them for people who have having trouble forcing. Find them here.

 

 

So yeah, TL;DR: I've been diligently forcing hours a day for some time now, and at 36 hours in, Lauren is showing some convincing signs of sentience. I'm pretty excited, and looking forward to working on touch tomorrow.

[G|d30n]

So, touch went pretty smoothly (no pun intended). There's not a whole lot to report about it--there were really no hangups at all. My method was pretty simple. All I did was recall what touching various exes felt like to give myself of reference of touching female anatomy. To those of you who have no experience to draw on...find a volunteer? I'd check Craigslist for starters.

 

Anyway, using my vivid sensory memory, I just used those experiences as a reference and I felt the textures more or less copy and pasted onto Lauren easy enough. The only awkward thing is, you have to touch everything during touch, and Lauren is in the early stages of sentience, so she's aware of all this, but can't speak. You can imagine how awkward that is, but since I narrate during forcing, I just did my best to explain.

 

But yeah, touch is done. Tomorrow is smell, and I can't imagine that taking more than a day, since smell is one of the easiest things to remember and reference. I plan on going out tonight and looking for things to use as a reference. I'm thinking maybe some kind of shampoo or perfume or something. I don't know. We'll see.

 

Anyways, that's where I'm at. Just one day of smell tomorrow and then nothing to do but narrate until I'm ready to impose her.

[Flower]

This is amazing! Was by far the of the most interesting and enjoyable reads that I've spent my time on.

The report is so flawless, sure does grant oneself a lot of ideas, devotion and experience.

It actually felt like I was reading a self biography.

Keep on the good work and do never give up!

[ThatOneGuy]

G|d3on, you're one of the only people around here that's focusing more on getting your tulpa done rather than fucking around on the forum or IRC, and I have to congratulate you on that and just say keep it up.

[Flower]

He have inspired me, will only spend 1 hour on this forum each day and the rest 23 by tulpaforcing! Cya all!

[G|d30n]

This is amazing! Was by far the of the most interesting and enjoyable reads that I've spent my time on.

The report is so flawless, sure does grant oneself a lot of ideas, devotion and experience.

It actually felt like I was reading a self biography.

Keep on the good work and do never give up!

 

He have inspired me, will only spend 1 hour on this forum each day and the rest 23 by tulpaforcing! Cya all!

 

Glad I was able to help! I have to say I'm even a little extra motivated after knowing that I've inspired someone.

 

G|d3on, you're one of the only people around here that's focusing more on getting your tulpa done rather than fucking around on the forum or IRC, and I have to congratulate you on that and just say keep it up.

 

Thank you. I consider you a very credible and reasonable contributor to the community and that makes your encouragement mean that much more. Glad you enjoyed reading the progress report--that does mean a lot.

 

 

Anyways, as for my report for today (or, I guess yesterday now--I've been up all night), I was able to cover the scent step across the three sessions that I did. Because scent is a natural memory trigger, I was able to commit the reference scent to memory very easily and just spent a few hours throughout the day developing that association with Lauren. I ended up choosing a vanilla scent, and I narrated to her my specific reasons for choosing that--including some personal associations and why I felt it suited her well.

 

I spent a lot of time narrating to Lauren yesterday too, since it was our primaries here in California plus I had some errands to run so I had plenty of reason to be out and about and so I talked to her through a lot of my driving time. I find myself just doing it a lot now, and it's started to be second nature. I found myself narrating my thoughts or just making conversation whenever I found time alone, and spent a couple hours narrating a TV show I was marathoning (Avatar: The Legend of Korra, for those who may be curious) and explaining the plot and commenting. It's feeling really natural to just talk to her as though she's there and listening, to the point that I don't even think of it as an "as though she is" type of thing and just consider her to be a constant presence. I suppose that's pretty good progress between us.

 

Now that I'm fully onto narration for now (until it comes time to open my subconscious to her and then later start to impose her), I figure I'll still spend a few hours every day just spending quality time with her in the wonderland, then just narrate as much as I can. I look forward to reporting my progress as things develop because it really feels like things are coming along nicely.