Ashmo

Ashmo's First Tulpa

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I think that the fact you've found that the rain helps you force makes it so you've already found a good forcing condition.

 

I actually do a lot of visual oriented meditation and semi-trance work, so the visualizing aspect of forcing has seemed to come really easy to me so far. I REALLY enjoy open eye forcing as well because I can work on imposing my egg in the here and now, it's just the narrating I seem to be having trouble with. But like everyone has been telling me, I treat it like it's there, like it's real. It IS real, so why would I treat it in any other way?

 

I've started reading to it to help with my narration. Though I don't really think it's digging on World War Z, lol. I'm gonna have to find a different book for my narrations I think.

 

I also REALLY enjoy the idea of writing letters and reading those to it. I got the idea after reading CreativeMind's guides XD

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I also REALLY enjoy the idea of writing letters and reading those to it. I got the idea after reading CreativeMind's guides XD

 

I'm actually writing a short story for Chuul, and I think it's a great idea to do so if you have a sort of predefined personality you want your tulpa to have. Personally, I keep telling Chuul to be whatever he wants, and that he should only take the personality traits as guidelines rather than rules he needs to apply to himself.

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I'm more or less letting it become who it wants to be with my guidance. Or more so letting my subconscience give me what I need rather than what I think I want.

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I started doing some experiments with white noise while forcing. Hoping it could help my focus a bit. I've come to the conclusion that white, pink, brown and grey-like noise all make me sleepy. My search was not fruitless though! I found a sound generator site that offers different sound scapes, including binaural beat generators. It's really helped with my forcing and I've found that I can force for longer periods with out needing a break because of fatigue.

 

The egg still hasn't hatched yet, but it keeps a constant, nearly hot temp and is even heavier than it was the last time I handled it. It hasn't rained anymore in the past couple days so I haven't been feeling anymore emotional responses. I'm still enjoying my time with it though.

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Binaural beats things are amazing. Comfortable earbud/earphones are recommended for maximum satisfaction!

 

I can't wait to see what happens when it hatches! :D

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I love throwing my buds in and listening to some binaural beats xD. I like to have a couple different tabs up with different sound scapes on to give a more enriched listening experience.

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What ever is inside the egg is male. I just keep getting feelings that it's not an it any more, but a he. I'm so excited! I hope he'll hatch soon.

 

When I touch him, sometimes I get these flashes of...something. Like seeing through my mind's eye, even though it's all seen through my mind's eye. Whatever he is in there, he is furry. I see little glimpses of different things. Red fur...clawed, anthropomorphic like hands...

 

It makes me wonder if he's a fox kit in there, or some other form of red furred creature. I've also had ponderings of if he is some kind of Pokemon. Since all breeds of Pokemon hatch from eggs.

 

I'm still trying really hard not to force a form on it. I want him to be who he feels he is.

 

I've only told two people in my life about this journey. My dearest friend and pen pal in Denmark and my girlfriend, whom I live with.

they are both very supportive.

 

Breanna (girlfriend) asks just about everyday if the egg has hatched yet and Marie (pen pal) is convinced I'm going to hatch a Pokemon due to my predisposition to Pokemon anyway (I have a problem <.<).

 

But because of the fact that I am so, almost unnaturally obsessed with the games and what not, I'm trying really hard not to just "make" a Pokemon. I mean, if that's what he wants to be, I would be ecstatic, but I'm really not in this to just get a "real Pokemon" out of the experience.

 

I'm wondering if my fear is hindering his development. I mean, it probably is. All forms of negativity are going to be bad, and I'm really trying to give him a positive environment, but if he knows what he wants to be, and I'm afraid that this form is something I'm making up, could I be stopping him from becoming what he was meant to be? I don't want to do that.

 

And I already know what I need to do. I need to stop being so worried and just love him. Let everything happen naturally but it won't go wrong that way. I'm just finding it hard. I really hope he doesn't inherit my worry-wort kind of attitude, lol.

 

I haven't had as much time to actively force the past couple days so I've been doing a lot of passive forcing. I imagine him always being with me (save for certain times when I'd just like my mind to myself). I know that active forcing is where I'm doing the real work with him, I plan on making more time for that.

 

I feel like I should close this progress report for now, else I just keep babbling about everything. Until next time...

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There are some PRs you read because they're helpful and informative, and others you read just because you can't wait to see what happens next. This is definitely the latter.

 

Your approach to this whole thing is awesome, and I'm dying to see what comes out.


"'Real isn't how you are made,' said the Skin Horse. 'It's a thing that happens to you.'"

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Guys! It hatched! He hatched! My little bundle of red fur is here! I basically said "fuck it" yesterday with my fear that I was going to impose his form into something he didn't want to be, fearing he'd end up a type of Pokemon because of my utter love for them. Well it turns out I think that's what he was trying to be all along. With different features, of course.

 

He seems to be an anthropomorphic version of something in between a Growlithe and an Arcanine. His little hands and feet have pads and his claws are just starting to grow in. He has more of a Growlithe look to him right now, I assume because he's a pup. He has the little blonde tuft on the top of his head but I can also see where the fine hairs of his mane will start to grow. His tail is more or less a big poof a blonde fur right now. He even has hind dew claws! xD His markings are more like an Arcanine though, where normally a Growlithe has a simple lined pattern of stripes, his has the slight crisscross on the shoulder blade of the older form. I don't know what his eyes looking like yet, he hasn't opened them yet (still just a baby yet). His teeth are just starting to poke through the gum line and he smells like myrrh and if the color green had a smell(?). I almost want to say like a grass or even kelp, but that's not quite right. It just smells...green.

 

I still talk to him like I always have, although I have to admit that now that he's here, it's MUCH easier. I can't say I'm getting much of a response yet, but I know he's still young and forming. There seems to be more emotional responses than anything else, which I know is a sign of both sentience and communication.

 

He doesn't like me smoking tobacco. I enjoy a few different blends when it comes to herbal smoking. Catnip, mint, mugwort, different tea blends and of course, tobacco cigarettes. He does NOT like me smoking filtered cigarettes. When I roll my own with just tobacco and papers he seems less stressed but still doesn't particularly like it. He even seems okay with hookah shisha, even though it's tobacco. Honestly, I may be quitting soon because I don't like the emotional distress it seems to put him in. Anytime I smoke anything else though, he just feels there (he always feels there) yet not caring...

 

I know tulpae don't actually "need" food, but I noticed he ate his egg shell. I'm wondering if it helped him absorb everything I've been forcing? I want to start sharing my food experiences with him. Find out the things he likes and dislikes so we can have yet another thing to bond with.

 

I'm also going to restart the Harry Potter series and narrate it to him. I grew up reading those books, watching the movies, they actually shaped some of my moral views on life and I think my little guy will enjoy them as much as I did.

 

He doesn't have a name yet. I've tossed a few up in the air but with every name I've given to him as an idea he kind of gives me a little grimace back. It's a very "grumpy cat" kind of look with some of them, lol. So as for right now I'm just calling my "Bud" or "My lil buddy". Who knows, maybe the name will stick?

 

I'm so excited!

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Wow! Your description is amazing. I had to look up Growlithe and Arcanine though, because I haven't played pokemon since Red and Blue first came out in the states. (Man, I'm old!) Anyway, he sounds really cool. I look forward to seeing how he develops.


"'Real isn't how you are made,' said the Skin Horse. 'It's a thing that happens to you.'"

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